http://thejamhole.com The Jamhole is hosted by Mat and Danni. Join us as we answer the age old question of what\'s going on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Thu, 02 Sep 2010 06:06:04 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 ©The Jamhole info@thejamhole.com (The Jamhole) info@thejamhole.com(The Jamhole) Comedy 1440 jamhole, comedy, podcast, kalispell, montana, funny, humor, talk show TheJamhole.com The Jamhole is hosted by Mat and Danni. Join us as we answer the age old question of, what\'s going on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The Jamhole The Jamhole info@thejamhole.com No yes http://thejamhole.com/images/logo144NOGLObob.jpg http://thejamhole.com 144 144 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2304 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2304#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:45:26 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2304 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2304 0 66:10 "Be wary of a priest who offers you a place to stay at his house." "Be wary of a priest who offers you a place to stay at his house." podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2265 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2265#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:30:55 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2265 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2265 0 81:14 "I hate to say it, but I actually identify with that guy a little bit." "The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious ... "I hate to say it, but I actually identify with that guy a little bit." "The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants, and for peace like retarded pygmies." -Lester Bowles Pearson Sheer fucking brilliance. This is a podcast first and foremost, so make sure even if you watch the live show, you are still subscribed to the feed. Thanks! Also, while your there, if you use Itunes, make sure to give us reviews and ratings. It only takes a second. Danni got really sick and was puking a bunch, so Shaun and myself pilot this beast. She will be back for the Monday show. Want to ask an anonymous question? Check out the Jamhole Formspring profile, and ask away. We've been in this rap game a bit, and this is what we have to show for it. Check out the Jamhole music page. I put up all sorts of new tracks up there. We watched a few movies, starting with MacGruber, then The Other Guys, and then I watched Abandoned. Did I say Abduction during the show? Heh, that's my bad. All decently decent movies. Let's talk about the world of professional writing. You know, because that's the world we live in. The latest episode of Stan Lee's Superhumans was pretty fucking cool. I really want the piano playing autistic guy to be in our rap group. That would be so fucking great. When you try to do great things, who needs social distractions. They just distract you. Let's talk about the greatest episode of Dating in the Dark I've seen so far. You seriously found anbsp;Christiannbsp;fresh life church fag virgin? Holy fucking shit. Nice work producers. No sex before marriage, but we can rock and roll! More bad news for the Roman Catholic church. You would think they could just pray to god and have him make it all stop. You molested your nephew you sick fuck. This leads into a little theological discussion about Shaun touching his dick at church camp. Good work sir. This is where most of the eggs you eat come from. That is so fucking disgusting. That's just one of the prices we are paying due to overpopulation. Please stop having children for a minute. Skinheads attack at the open air festival up in Russia. I didn't even know they had skinheads in Russia. Of course the first serial rapist in your county just so happens to be a cop. Hot on the rapist trail. What would you do if you were raped? Woops, I thought you said to flush the baby with alcohol, not saline. That's my bad. Remember, we're doing this motherfucker live Saturday, September 25th. Check out the 404 page for more info, join the Facebook group and RSVP for the live show and the Jamhole camping trip. Those of you who watched the live show got a special live rap E performance. Good times. Like I said before, check out the Jamhole music page for some new hip hop. Donate some cash and help us pay some bills if you enjoy the show. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2258 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2258#comments Sat, 28 Aug 2010 06:00:59 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2258 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2258 0 77:03 "I basically had to force a blow job on him." I found a headline today that made me kind of laugh to myself. This article says, ... "I basically had to force a blow job on him." I found a headline today that made me kind of laugh to myself. This article says, "OxyContin: It's time to raise the alarm." I was like duh? Hasn't this been a problem for a while now? I mean fuck, when was Rush Limbaugh hooked on this shit? That had to have been quite some time ago. Of course, anything as mentally and physically addictive as oxycontin is going to cause problems once the shit hits the street. I've written about how street thugs new drug of choice is oxycontin, and how the numbers of illegal use have gone up tremendous amounts. This is just funny to me because the signs have been all around us, it's just now that people are figuring out this is a wicked problem. I'll tell you again from personal experience, this is a hard horse to kick. I feel really bad for anyone having to deal with opiate detox, on any kind of level. So the place written about in the article is called Shasta County, and the head of the Shasta Interagency Drug Task Force, John Thulin says, "I would call it close to an epidemic in our county right now, a lot of kids are using it, from athletes to straight A students in schools. This is very scary in our community. I think it's time to raise the alarm." Back in 2008, his agents seized 376 oxycontin pills. In 2009 that number went up to 1,079. That's quite the increase. If it's happening here and there you can be sure to bet it's happening everywhere else as well. I see it happening right here in our valley. Honestly, what can you really do about it? Start drug testing kids? Yea right, that's going to go over real well with the parents. You can try going up against one of the largest pharmaceutical manufacturers on the planet, but good luck with that venture. So the only thing you can really do is educate your children, show them what these harmless feel good pills can do when you get addicted to them, and just hope that they have enough common sense to not go down the path so many of us have chosen. Because once you start down that path, it's a trip and a half to get back. Even once you get back, depending on how long you were using for, you aren't ever yourself again. I've noticed changes in my own mind that never would have happened otherwise. It kind of sucks, but hey that's life right? History in the making everyone, we have both Cubberlys here on the show at the same time. Let's welcome Matt back to the show. It's been a while. Sorry for the off levels, it's hard to get them to share a mic. If you want a blow job, just complain about it until your girlfriend gives you one to shut you the fuck up. Another car accident where a car was up the ass of another vehicle. People should really watch where they are going. I will laugh at you. Ok Keith, let's agree that we are both weird. The smartest dog I've ever seen. The dogs will one day take over because they can use the handicapped entrance. We're so fucked. Rap night went well, we have some great new songs for you all. Keep an eye out on thejamhole.com/music for new tracks. I put two new ones up there for you to enjoy. Want more music? Donate some cash so we can buy new beats. So what's been new Matt? Did anyone understand what he was talking about? Have you ever heard of Shelby Montana? Danni finally gets her mad kitchen skills recognized. It's about time. If you didn't go to school, you aren't a chef. That's the law. Matt tells us about the bonnie and clyde fugitives. Apparently the woman was totally nuts. Remember, September 25th we're having our second annual live show. Check out the 404 page, and join the facebook group. RSVP for the live show and the camping trip. It's going to be a great time. If you couldn't tell, when Matt asked me when the trip is, I just got up and walked away. Hammering nails into your maid because she won't stop complaining. I bet that shut her up. Peep the X-rays, they are pretty cool. Face it, the Mexicans are doing jobs none of us wa podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2252 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2252#comments Thu, 26 Aug 2010 05:00:38 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2252 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2252 1 65:33 "You have to try to be the best you can be and all that other shit." Another week in the can, another three Jamhole episodes and ... "You have to try to be the best you can be and all that other shit." Another week in the can, another three Jamhole episodes and two Hot Box episodes for your listening enjoyment. It's cool being able to utilize all of the technology we have today just to talk some shit for a few hours every week. I hope you enjoy listening to this shit as much as we enjoy talking this shit. It's almost time to get ready for the Friday episode of the Jamhole, so let's just get to the notes. A huge thanks goes out to Ustream for totally redoing their whole website and not really taking the time to test it. If you did test it, you should fire whoever tested it, because the chat is all fucked, among other things. I hope you are making money off those ads, because they really fucking suck. Danni does some cleaning, like a woman should. I suck at shaving my face. Thank you. You can call Shaun's hair style, the Edward. There is good thinking behind that. Thank you for the post cards, and keep them coming. If you like the show, send us a post card from where you live to our p.o. box. Also, thank you for the present for Danni's crack head nose. Check out episode 19 of the Hot Box podcast. It's really good stuff. Honk if you love Jesus, text if you want to see him. Thank you for those wise words of wisdom local churches. You are very clever. Big Money Rustlas was not as good as the first one they made. Just get really fucking high when you watch it. The sex life is good, but you know, it can always get better. Everything can always get better. Now listen to me be a huge snarky jerk off. Let me tell you about some early nineties Playboy issues. Thank you internet for making me unable to even get hard while looking at Playboy. You might be from Montana if... Thanks for that Shaun. Join us for the second annual Jamhole live audience show and camping trip / rap show. It's going to be a fucking blast. Camping is September 23rd and 24th and then the live show is on the 25th. All the info is on the 404 page, and you can RSVP for both events on the Jamhole Facebook group. Being stuck in the earth down in Chile. You can get out, all you have to do is lose some weight. Good thing there isn't any Americans down there. We'll see you in four months. Yes, I would probably leave you if you weighed 400 pounds. I would expect you to do the same. It's pretty epic how much of an asshole I can be. Sometimes I amaze myself. Getting down in Amish land, the only way the Amish can. With lots of incest andnbsp;bestiality. Nice. Danni reads like an angel. Listen while she reads you a story about a woman burning her man's steak. Guess who else has a sex tape? This one got the couple put in jail. Oh yea, and it was a stolen camera. The longest traffic jam ever. Nice work China! Two words: Highway Zamboni. Problem solved. Apparently the lady from the story the other day that got caught on CCTV putting a cat in the trash can, is now getting death threats. I called that shit. You don't fuck with cats on the internet. Cats have a very special place in the hearts of everyone on the internet... For some weird reason. I know you just gave birth by C section, but we're going to need you to clean up your mess, then get the fuck out of the hospital room. We are very understaffed. Email us at info@thejamhole.com or use the comment form on the about us page. Leave us a message at 406.204.4687 or text me at 406.848.1739. Donate some cash if you enjoy the show. This is a free show and it costs a bit of money to keep going. Don't forget, September 25th is our second annual Jamhole live audience show. Check out the 404 page for more info. If you want to see the first live show we did, check out the 250 page. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2245 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2245#comments Tue, 24 Aug 2010 04:30:26 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2245 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2245 1 82:42 "So you went out with your cock out, and now you have bumps?" According to this CNN online article, the DEA is looking to hirenbsp;Ebonicsnbsp;translators. Just ... "So you went out with your cock out, and now you have bumps?" According to this CNN online article, the DEA is looking to hirenbsp;Ebonicsnbsp;translators. Just let that soak in for a moment. Ebonics, if you aren't familiar, is the "language" African American's tend to speak when among their own kind. Mostly this can be attributed to a decline in the ghetto education system, and rap music. Some people call it African American English, which is pretty awesome in and of itself. What a fucking joke. So the DEA apparently needs nine people to translate conversations picked up via wire tap during their investigations. You would think the DEA would just sit their agents down for a couple of hours each week and give them a complete tour of rap starting at NWA, going all the way up to the more modern versions. Shit, a now dead Brooklyn rapper by the name of Big L even wrote a song called Ebonics. Just listen to that shit and figure it out. You're the fucking DEA for fucks sake. They probably got sick and tired of always having to ask the young agent who listens to hip hop about what the fuck these people are talking about. The funny thing is, they are probably going to have a bunch of early thirty year old white kids submitting resumes thinking they are perfect for the job because they listen to rap music and probably have a black friend or something. This goes on to their next point, that another problem they are having is that Ebonics is no longer just a black language, it's now what is considered an urban language. Mostly because of all these punk ass wanna be white rappers out there who forget that at the end of the day when they look in the mirror, it's just another scared white kid staring back at them. Professor John Baugh describes Ebonics as, "linguistic defiance being reinforced by hip-hop." That right there is pretty awesome. To finish up here, in case you didn't know, the term Ebonics is a blend of ebony and phonics. I love our language. Shaun explains what the fuck that thing is growing on him. Don't worry, he's just ugly. Apparently they have pills for that. If you get an email that says the attachment is pictures of your wife, you probably shouldn't click on it. I'm sure it's too late for a lot of people, but our listeners are smarter than that. Why the fuck is there a bee hive in my drivers side mirror? Fuck I hate bees. Can we PLEASE stop having kids for the next ten years. You are contributing to the planet completely exploding. If only we had a good use for people. Danni never got pregnant because of skill, not luck. Yea right, that's bullshit, she's just lucky. She's a classy lady. Did you steal that bike? I'm pretty sure you stole that bike. If you wear a flat brimmed hat, you are a D-BAG! I blame hip hop. Getting a pedicure seems like a very demeaning thing to make someone else do. Like having a black guy shine your shoes on the bus. Stan Lee's Superhumans is a pretty cool show on the History channel. These people are pretty bad ass. Listen carefully to Danni's accent. It's so fucking funny. I honestly think she's getting a complex about it. Danni tells us about Swamp People. It's a hidda hadda herdda show about hunting gators. I'm fixin to cum! We're having a party! Check out the 404 page for information on our second annual Jamhole live show. This is going down Saturday, September 25th 2010. If you come up a few days early you can come to the Jamhole camping trip. It's going to be epic. Check the Facebook group for more info. Shaun is putting the camping trip together. Why Americans should never be allowed to travel. I really should have read these over before we did this. This was horrible, and I apologize for that. Let's play thenbsp;interruptnbsp;Mat game while he reads this first news story. It's another one about huffing stuff. Her real name is Amanda Branda. I couldn't make this shit up. This is not a good time to be female in the Congo. That's right, more rape on a S... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2239 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2239#comments Sat, 21 Aug 2010 06:30:29 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2239 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2239 0 77:33 "If you get in a wreck on that road, you're an idiot, and I hope you die." Today was just one of those days. You know ... "If you get in a wreck on that road, you're an idiot, and I hope you die." Today was just one of those days. You know the kind. The sort of day that drags on like it was being taken against it's will to the chopping block. It's like all of the retards that live in the Flathead Valley all call each other the night before, and figure out a master plan as to how they can get in my way, seriously piss me off, and fuck up my day. For starters, driving on the highways today was a littlenbsp;reminiscentnbsp;of watching the Specialnbsp;Olympics. But with less skill and grace. I swear, some of these people HAVE to be giving out bribes to the DMV or something, because I really don't understand how you can be sonbsp;obliviousnbsp;to what's going on around you and still be able to get your driver'snbsp;license. I can't wait for the day when we have cars that drive themselves. Some people are scared of that, because the systems can malfunction or get hacked. Well, have you been out on highway 93 or highway 2 during lunch time? You know it couldn't possibly be any worse than that. I would much rather have to dodge an autopilot car who's control computer has a virus, than some idiot who thinks they are the only person on the road today. At least they would have an excuse. "I knew I shouldn't have told my car to click on that email attachment while I was commuting to work. Now my whole car is fucked. But hey, it still drives better than I do." Oh well, much like the Snoop Dogg song, this types of shit happens every day. I was just a little more sensitive to it today. It's cool, because boy are you all in for a show tonight. I'm excited. Plus, it's Monday Funday, so that should make it all better. Here's the notes! I love how excited Danni gets sometimes. Sometimes I just want to slap her in the face. Danni has a job she likes. She can thank me for that later. Tick tock, the time is coming near for the second annual Jamhole live show! Check out thejamhole.com/404 for info! It's September 25th, and you aren't going to want to miss this. Shaun is planning a camping trip for us. I'm excited. You can also RSVP on the Facebook group. Help us pay the server bill, shit is expensive. You love the nice download speeds, so show us how much you love it. Donate some cash, and help keep this show fast and free. Another car crash on the same highway. This is just another reason why we need highway zamboni. I'm telling you. Thank you retard drivers for making us have to drive super slow on that highway. I completely blame you. Proof that if you drive around with dogs on your lap like a FUCKING IDIOT, you are putting the rest of us at risk. You might as well be texting while driving. Some shit went down in the nations trailer park. Alabama, hows it going? This kid begged for his life. You said no, and shot him in the head. I hate when people get mad and punch inanimate objects. So mad, I'm going to go punch a wall right now. Caught red handed gold faced because he was huffing paint. You know gold paint is the good shit. Yet another story ofnbsp;childrennbsp;living in filth and squalor. Thank you Georgia. Slapping your daughter to death for crying to much. You want something to cry about? Oh you don't? Hmm. Well never mind then. A man found near a busy street surrounded by sex toys. It's not what it looks like. Fucking around at Danni's new job. Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer. Let's play some voicemails. You can leave a message at 406.204.4687 or text my cell at 406.848.1739. Email info@thejamhole.com, and send us post cards from your locale to thejamhole.com/pobox. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2233 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2233#comments Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:00:02 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2233 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2233 0 69:42 "I suck at rapping if you're not there with me." As if the American population didn't have enough bullshit to deal with, we are now in ... "I suck at rapping if you're not there with me." As if the American population didn't have enough bullshit to deal with, we are now in the midst of the largest egg recall in history. We sure are all about doing shit bigger and better than everyone else. Let's take a quick tally of the latest human caused tragedies that have fucked our shit up lately. Actually, it's getting kind of late and we have a podcast tonight, so I just want to talk about the most recent two. The biggest, baddest oil spill / gusher in our history, and now this salmonella outbreak. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. When we fuck shit up, we FUCK shit up.nbsp;According to thisnbsp;article, damn near a half billion eggs have been recalled due to salmonella. Redman said it best when he said you are going to catch salmonella if you keep fucking with all these chicken heads. I'm paraphrasing of course, and I don't think he was talking about the same thing here, but clever nonetheless. The numbers so far say that nearly 2,000 people have been sickened by salmonella linked to tainted eggs in recent months, and they are of course, expecting that number to rise. This might be surprising to you, seeings how we consume the fuck out of some eggs, and rarely do we get sick from it. But if you dig a little deeper into where these eggs are coming from, it's more surprising that we DON'T get sick all the time. Apparently the owner of one of the farms these tainted eggs came from is no stranger to problems like this. His name is Jack DeCoster, and from what I've read, he is kind of a scumbag. DeCoster is 75 years old, and his family run egg farm, Wright County Eggs, is responsible for providing salmonella tainted eggs to 15 of the 25 restaurants where people have gotten sick. In the summer of 1996, DeCoster had to pay 3 million dollars in fines after the U.S. Labor Department found dead chickens being picked up by workers with bare hands. That is so fucking disgusting. Even more disgusting, is that the complaint also stated DeCoster's workers lived besidenbsp;manurenbsp;and rat infested trailers. This complaint led to several supermarkets boycotting DeCoster's eggs. Then, in 2000, the Iowa attorney general dubbed DeCoster a "habitual offender" of the states environmental laws, and ordered him to pay a $150,000 fine. Basically he was disposing of his hog and chicken shit into a nearby creek. What a fucking dick head. Then, on top of that, earlier this year DeCoster plead guilty to 10 counts of animal cruelty charges over the company's treatment of their chickens. The national non profit group, Mercy for Animals ran an undercover investigation and witnessed live birds being thrown in the trash, employees whipping birds by their necks in an attempt to kill them, and hens living in cages so small that their wings could not be lifted without getting snagged on wires. The rotting corpses of hens were also often not removed from the cages they shared with hens that were producing eggs to be used in human consumption. Hmm, after reading this, I wonder how the fuck you managed to get salmonella tainted eggs. What a fucking jerk off. The list of his offences goes on and on, if you want to check it out, read the three page article. It's quite interesting. The bottom line is, when there are so many mouths to feed, sometimes corners get cut in order to satisfy that need. We can't be so surprised when shit like this happens. It's bound to happen. It's called risk management. How many corners can we cut before we start killing in numbers that are above the acceptable loss quotient? We all end up statistics sooner or later. Most of Danni's work experience has been in the kitchen. Insert stereotypical woman in the kitchen joke here. Let's welcome Shaun back from his vision quest hiatus. It's good to have you back. I need you. You complete me, when we rap at least. Now tell us about your trip to the Mile High Music Festival in Colorado. Keep an eye out for footage from hi... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2218 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2218#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:30:23 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2218 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2218 0 65:42 "I'm going to be a wraith queen." Sit up straight and speak with posture, foster thoughts inside this monster, without a home to cover up these ... "I'm going to be a wraith queen." Sit up straight and speak with posture, foster thoughts inside this monster, without a home to cover up these feelings, the being grows old and smothers the bleeding. So I walk with discomfort each day I breath and talk the talk to make you believe, that everything will eventually work out, until this jerk off puts the words down. On paper or liquid crystal I display, the thoughts in my head I'm dying to say, so kill me already and do me a favor, savor each letter I print for your leisure. This non believer deceived by he, with the forked tongue and a taste for the creeps. So flee or get flicked, those who don't are bound to get sick, but I got the vaccine for all your crap, just sit there and listen to me... Mat. Let me tell you a little something about performing my hip hop all by myself. Rapping by yourself is not as easy as it looks. Maybe I should quit smoking. From this point on, she will be called Daniel. She loves that. Remember when you come to the live show September 25th. I made a page for the party at thejamhole.com/404. I will never again miss a podcast for a hip hop show. Rapping is a hobby, but podcasting is life. Ride or die niggas! Huge shout out to the old lady that was enjoying my songs. I love it when the elderly like my rap music. We saw The Expendables, and I have to say, we really enjoyed it. Good stuff. We saw the tail end of thenbsp;Perseidnbsp;meteor shower. I have to say, if you live in a big city, you are missing the fuck out. I don't care what anyone says, meteor showers are cool as fuck. We finally finished Stargate Atlantis. What a great series. Next I will be revisiting the Firefly series. Danni hasn't seen it, so this should be good. So now Pakistan needs help? Sure, it's not like you didn't have a shit hole before the flood. The biggest coincidence ever. Lucky number 13 strikes again! Tila Tequila gets her ass handed to her by a bunch of faggy juggalos. If you get beat up by juggalos, just kill yourself. Your life is over. Although after this, I do have a new found respect for those homos. Going out with a bang, if you know what I mean! Fuck yea. Not exactly the death by hooker I had in mind, but much quicker than catching the aids. Danni finally got another job, working with my good friend Mat. What can I say, she loves to cook. We'll go to the bar / restaurant when you guys are in town for the 404 live show. Trying to have sex with a sheep, and completely failing. You have to seriously suck at life to fail at trying to fuck a sheep. Why go out and try to fuck someone, when you can just molest your very own child! Nice. Remember, September 25th is right around the corner, we are having our second annual Jamhole live show / camping party. Shaun is in charge of the camping trip, and he made a Facebook event for it. So check out the Jamhole 404 page and the Facebook group to RSVP. It's going to be amazing! Leave a message for the show at 406.204.4687 or text my cell at 406.848.1739. Email info@thejamhole.com if you wanna say high! Also, keep sending us post cards if you like the show. They go up on our wall. Thanks! podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2212 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2212#comments Sat, 14 Aug 2010 06:00:03 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2212 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2212 0 77:26 "Did you just call me an ugly hoe?" This is how I know we arenbsp;trulynbsp;in the digital age. Back in the day, if you wanted to ... "Did you just call me an ugly hoe?" This is how I know we arenbsp;trulynbsp;in the digital age. Back in the day, if you wanted to hook up with someone of the opposite gender (you know there wasn't any gays back in the day), you would have to go to where the opposite gender was at. Whether it be a bar, or the laundromat, or the grocery store, you actually had to leave your house to get yourself a date. Either that or you would know a friend who's girlfriend or boyfriend had a friend that just completely sucked at dating, and was super single. So you, being the good friend you are, would agree to go out with them, and that would be that. Well, no more do we have to leave the safe comfortable asylum that is our living room in order to find a mate. Sure Mat, we've known about this for quite sometime now, it's called Facebook. To that I would say of course, but you and me, we're different than everyone else, plus there wasn't really shit else to write about. The mainstream is just now figuring out this whole online dating thing apparently. Or at least they are starting to study it. Just like the telephone was technology that made it easier to stay in touch, the internet is like the telephone on super steroids. We are vastly approaching an era where connectivity isnbsp;ubiquitous, thus being connected to people will become more second nature than it already is. I also think that with this technology, the STD rate is going to increase as well. With more people dating outisde of their normal real life social circles, these diseases have a better chance of spreading to more and more people. Plus, if you use the internet to find you one night stands, you never have to tell anyone that you have aids or herpes, because chances are, you will never see them again. So it can go both ways, if used correctly it can be a great tool, but like so many other things in life, if abused, it can usher in the impending apocalypse. The article says,nbsp;"A new study finds that nearly a quarter of couples met online, and predicts the web may soon become the number one way Americans find a mate." Anyways, it's actually a pretty interesting article, so give it a read, I have some shit to do before the show tonight, so that's all I'm going to say about it. Shaun isn't going to be with us for a bit. He left the state to go fuck dudes and try to get aids. Weird, I never pegged him as a bug chaser. I guess you never know. Rapping (or not rapping) up at Casey's. At least I got to help setup. Check out the music page to hear some rap. There is also a couple of videos on the YouYube page. Danni is like 4 episodes away from having her PH.d in discovery health. The uncle is doing much better. Thank you to everyone that wrote a eulogy. Yes, I don't like Danni's septum piercing. It's personal preference. At least it's something I can deal with. Just kidding, take that shit out or I'm out. Mooo! Highway Zamboni number 2. This time we needed a bigger zamboni. Same accident, same place, different vehicles. One was a semi. That never gets old. When you drive, you should probably watch where you are going. Let's talk about the rap show. I love it when super fat bitches try to get up on the stripper pole. For every nasty fat disgusting chick out there, there is a guy just as into that fatness. They do give some mean head, and you know they can cook. If you are a rapper, you need to have a hot chick next to you. I can't have my girls looking like the slums. I'm a fucking rap star bitch. If you got a Droid, we finally got android 2.2. Fucking sweet. For the record, I need to have this recorded. I feel much better now. The last couple of Futurama episodes were fucking brilliant. The boondocks is still so fucking funny. Dating in the Dark is the most brilliant social experiment ever. Hey homo, nice suspenders. Maybe you should give a quick spelling test to the people you hire to paint your school zones. This is why you shouldn't go fuck arou... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2206 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2206#comments Thu, 12 Aug 2010 03:30:38 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2206 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2206 0 71:59 "Guess you can't yell when you're face down in water." So the story goes, and it goes and it goes. When does it stop? No body ... "Guess you can't yell when you're face down in water." So the story goes, and it goes and it goes. When does it stop? No body fucking knows. The river of time flows in direct proportion to the amount of time spent on our toes. Feel me? Well then stop, because we just met, are you a cop? Of course not, that would be silly. Chances are, just another dumb hillbilly Bob out robbing banks, like a slob never sat down and gave thanks. Join the ranks of the outdated slums, how do you hitch hike out without any thumbs? Says the proton to the electron as they passed some shocking news, before going supernova for a different point of view. Stop being so negative, it's a waste of good energy and read what I try to write so splendidly. Let me tell you how this accident happened. I really wish people would learn how to drive. What you are doing in your vehicles, totally not driving. You pushed your busted ass whip right up that guys ass. Nice work, enjoy your vacation. Two words: Highway Zamboni. I would like to introduce you to my good friend, Criss Angel. He's a professional liar. Hey Criss, please stop eating the camera. Thank you. Here's an idea for an illusion. Stop sucking! So, who would win in a fight between Criss Angel and David Blaine? Email info@thejamhole.com with your thoughts. Dating in the Dark has started again. This is the best dating show. Unless they make my idea. Which is to take teenagers of KKK members, and put them in the dark room with black people. That right there, is reality TV gold. Danni tells us all about some weird medical shit she saw on TV. This shit right here is going to be the cause of the zombie apocalypse. Mark my fucking words. We have a new super bug. This one did not come from Germany (that's right, I made anothernbsp;Volkswagennbsp;super bug joke.) Bring it the fuck on, I'm ready. The Jet Blue flight attendant who blew his top (then his boyfriend) hahaha! I want to get a job just so I can quit that way. You know, everything minus the gay sex. So, if it came down to checking your Facebook or watching your 13 month old in the bath, what do you choose? Facebook of course. Now you don't have to worry about the baby, because it drowned. A Jamhole update apparently, this grown ass man totally fooled you into changing his diaper because you thought he was mentally retarded. Who's the retard now? The very definition of backfire. So this chick got raped at school, told the principal, and he used her as bait to catch the rapist. Guess what happened? Of course, she got raped again. Someone is going to get BANK from this little minor fuck up. I would have paid so much fucking money to have been able to see this happen. She hit the cliff face going SO FAST. Oh wells. I bet you'll use the safety rope next time... Oh right, never mind. Fucking a 50 year old... after you probably killed her. So what I should have said was Fucking a dead 50 year old. Well played weirdo. So, if you weren't going to fuck that dead body, why did you stop at Walmart to get condoms? Yea, you kinda fucked that up didn't you. You don't need a box of condoms for a chit chat. Shaun gives us a call... From his bedroom... Because he was in there crying all night. Stay tuned after the podcast for a special psych session with MDS, Shaun, and myself. Good stuff. The Jamhole forums are going away because Ning is being lame and wants to start charging. So we're just going to use the Facebook group. Also, remember, you can always leave comments on the show notes for each episode if you have anything you'd like to say. Remember, the second annual Jamhole live audience party camping trip is coming up! Join the Facebook group and RSVP. We will be camping Thursday September 23rd and Friday the 24th, then the live show is Saturday, September 25th. This is going to be a blast. If you wanna see what the first live show was like, check out the 250 page. You can watch the trailer, then purchase the show for $5.00. Help s... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2200 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2200#comments Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:00:09 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2200 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2200 0 73:39 "If we modeled our society after Starcraft 2, we'd be great." One step closer to the American dream. The derelicts scream on the silver screen. We ... "If we modeled our society after Starcraft 2, we'd be great." One step closer to the American dream. The derelicts scream on the silver screen. We pay big bucks to see it, give a sick fuck and critique it, until in the end you end up being it. So chew it up then spit it out, we're too proud to set this one down. Drowning in pity for a party in the city, you never looked so good, it's so shitty. So please forgive me before you go home and the next time we meet we'll be home alone. I walk miles every day to bring you the sunshine, and in your own special way you make it rain on my fun time parade. So cut the charade with a butter knife and let's all pray for a better life. September 25th is quickly approaching, so get your travel plans in order. We are going to have quite the party. It's our second annual live show. We'll be camping Thursday and Friday, then the show is nbsp;Saturday. We saw the faggy magic movie, also known as The Sorcerer's Apprentice. I don't like that kid. It's cool, lately, I'm all about supporting shit movies. I can't wait for the new Tron movie. If you work at the movie theater, I want the Tron light cycle please and thank you. Shaun once again saves hip hop up here in the middle of nowhere. If you need a mic rocked, get a hold of us. He may have started a family feud. Apparentlynbsp;I was living with twonbsp;Blackfootnbsp;Indians. I really wish I would have known that before hand. The worse idea Shaun has ever heard. Just slap that bitch. That's how you know. There's nothing like a good slap in the face to shake your reality. Redfox calls in to tell you all how awesome the 404 live show is going to be. Yes, I carry around a backpack with me. I guess that makes me a backpack rapper. If we plan on surviving a few more generations, we're going to need to get the fuck off this planet, so says the smart drooling one. Since when did sitting in the sauna cooking yourself to death become a sport? Well, the world has lost a great champion then. The pictures are pretty fucking disgusting. Cheating on yournbsp;significantnbsp;other with a tranny. You totally got caught fucking shim. HAhahaha. Now you have acid burns all over your body. You kinda had that coming. Vampires are among us. I blame twilight for this... And probably True Blood. I have to go out and gamble so bad, but what the fuck do we do with the kid? Chain that little fucker to the table, he's grounded anyways. Murdering the family in a hoarder house. I will never understand how people even attempt to live like that. There's no way to celebrate a wedding then by killing your father, and wounding a bunch of guests, because you suck at firing your AK-47. You are a fucking idiot. Getting caught jerking off with anbsp;MANnequin. You fucking weird homo. If my friends ever pulled some shit like this, I would have some serious revenge. My apologies if we read this story on a previous episode. They all blur together for me. Look out fifty cent, we have a new bad boy who, if he knows what's good for him, will start a rap career. He was shot 21 times and survived. Help keep the show going strong by tossing some cash our way. Also, RSVP on the Facebook group or the Forums event page for the September 25th live show, episode 404 not found in the 406. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2192 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2192#comments Sat, 07 Aug 2010 06:35:46 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2192 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2192 0 69:32 "It's not an abomination, it's a miracle." So the people have once again spoken, this time with flamboyantly limp wrists, bright hot pink cut off shirts, ... "It's not an abomination, it's a miracle." So the people have once again spoken, this time with flamboyantly limp wrists, bright hot pink cut off shirts, and an overlynbsp;accentuated lisp of SSS'ssss. The ban on gay marriage in California was over turned, allowing any Tom Dick and Harry to get married to each other. I'm not gay or anything, but if they wanna get married I think it should be their right. I mean fuck, if you want to be just as miserable as a straight male female couple, then why the fuck not? I mean who really cares? I honestly don't see what the big problem is with this whole thing. You can't use thenbsp;sanctitynbsp;of marriage excuse, because that gets destroyed on a daily basis each and every time a straight couple files for divorce. You can't use the religious excuse because not all of us have been brainwashed to believe in the ridiculous bullshit that you might believe in. It's people's belief systems that make them so intolerant to things like this. I'm glad to see that we have fixed ALL of the other problems we face as a nation, so now we finally have time to make a decision on whether or not a couple of gays can get married to each other. To me, this is almost as stupid as marijuana still being illegal. I mean really, it's kind of the same thing if you think about it. Regardless of the gays being able to get married, they are still with each other, they are still fucking each other's assholes and sucking each other's dicks. If this has been happening the whole time, and the fabric of our society is still holding strong, then who gives a shit? Let them get married. Obviously if the gays being allowed marriage rights was going to usher in the apocalypse, it would have happened by now. It's the same with marijuana. People have been smoking marijuana since way before the first state passed it's medical marijuana law, and people who live in states that marijuana is still completely illegal, are still smoking it, so what's the problem? Clearly if everyone smoking weed would have caused some serious negative side effects, we would have felt them by now. We're all smoking pot, and everything functions just as it always has, so who fucking cares? Legalize it, tax it, just a little bit, and move the fuck on with your lives. You aren't protecting anyone from anything by being a dick to the gays. You aren't saving the children from the evil pot smokers by making pot illegal. The sooner our government can wake the fuck up and pull their heads out of their asses, the sooner we can focus on real problems. You know, like the wicked opiate pain pill epidemic that is sweeping our nation. Or maybe the fact that we've been in the Middle East fighting a war we can never win for over a decade now, while our brothers and sisters are over there dying for a nameless cause. It's sad when you see what gets attention focused on it, and what gets pushed to the back burner. It's good to have Danni back. She's been pretty sick, but she's getting better. So let's have a huge round of applause and welcome Big Mouths back. It's been a while. The wet cheeks comment was so fucking funny. It's good to have you back. Remember, September 25th is our second annual Jamhole live audience show. I have some time off, so the Jamhole camping trip will be Thursday the 23rd and Friday the 24th. If you come in from out of state, you are welcome to be on the podcast either Monday or Wednesday. So plan accordingly. We're gonna have a party! You can RSVP on the Jamhole forums or the Facebook group. You can text me if you have any questions at 406.848.1739. Or email info@thejamhole.com. Check out the 250 page to see the trailer for the first live show. You can also purchase the full movie for $5. Wyclef, what are you thinking? Have you ever been to Haiti? No one in their right mind would want to be president of that shit hole. Good luck Wyclef. Holy CHRIST, what the fuck is wrong with your baby's face? This is mostnbsp;defiantlynbsp;not... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2188 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2188#comments Thu, 05 Aug 2010 03:50:36 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2188 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2188 0 63:38 "I just wanna have fun." Famous last words in a life that wants a chance to tame the vast herds. You can't go out dressed like ... "I just wanna have fun." Famous last words in a life that wants a chance to tame the vast herds. You can't go out dressed like that, they will eat you alive. You can't go out sad like that, they'll mistake you for their wife. You can't go out fast like that, they think you stole something from the light. When the night argues with the day no one wins. When the polite turn into zombies and go for your brains, no one sins. So blink an eye before they think you've died in the blink of an eye for my turn to quietly sit and think outside. There's no denying when the lamp post flickers with one last electrical sigh. We used to love getting high now we encourage our women to get low. We run our mouths backed up by a pistol, then wonder why all our friends are in the hospital trying to figure out life's last riddle. I give up, with hands on my head but you weren't listening long enough to understand what I said. In the end nothing really matters anymore, laying on the bloody floor wondering what the after life has in store. Nothing but a rain check, set to wreck my whole day in plain text to try and guess what my phone tries to communicate next. So I just walk away with my grey thoughts of faith and my stomach hungry. Growling, drowning in bile it's all because Inbsp;haven'tnbsp;eaten anything in a while. But nothing sounds like it smells as good as it tastes, I blame the chef who cooks to fill the void that sets his heart's pace. It's out of order that chaos brings loud disorder to a crowd filled with tons of reporters, and the reports stumble in from out in the rain, but you still don't trust them to shout when your raped. Pardon my mistake, someone forgot to turn Shaun's microphone on. It'snbsp;OK, 383 episodes and that's the first time I've fucked up like that. I'm sure you'll excuse me. The only reason we have our own place is to fuck chicks. Otherwise we'd still be living with our parents. In case you haven't noticed, we have jack shit to talk about, so we winged it. Shaun has many personalities in his little head. Shaunathan Poindexter is the personality that is completely addicted to Starcraft 2. Shaun is a jack off of all trades. He was even a billing representative for Nextel Phone support. Hey Verizon, thanks for standing behind me, with that creepy look on your face. I got my fucking way, being polite does pay off sometimes. I'd like to give a huge thanks to the Verizon customer support gentleman I talked to that fixed my bill. It's called the singularity. We are getting more personable, but less personal. If you have to say you are going to kill yourself in order to get someone to do something for you, you are doing it wrong. Maybe this is why you don't go to the bar to find a wife. I just got out of a bad relationship. Yea, you and everyone else that's ever BEEN IN a relationship. Stop making excuses. The phrase that pays, "I just wanna have fun." The phrase of our generation. We all just wanna have fun. Apparently there is a badnbsp;chlamydianbsp;outbreak in the valley. Warn a brother next time. We all have seven sides to our ego personality. Shaun just happens to name his. Let me introduce you to Snek. Where does this complex enigma of a man go to find a woman to call his baby? We are a very emotional generation. We didn't wait to finish college and get a good job, we fell in love back in high school and knocked bitches up. That's why we just wanna have fun now. Let's draw a parallel between female penguins whoring themselves out for rocks, and human women who whore themselves out for diamonds. It works well I think. I think after this little episode, no one will make fun of France anymore. That was pretty brutal France, I think you've made your point. Just kidding France, we're always going to make fun of you. We have a great movie recommendation for you. It's called R.S.O. Registered Sex Offender. It was so fucking funny, you have to see it. Email info@thejamhole.com if you t... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2182 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2182#comments Tue, 03 Aug 2010 03:00:00 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2182 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2182 0 63:24 "My big brain makes up for my little penis." My brain is mush. Much to my dismay, I trained at lunch to fight in this game. ... "My big brain makes up for my little penis." My brain is mush. Much to my dismay, I trained at lunch to fight in this game. Between my fits of rage and constant reminders of what you could have been, another haunted insider. Here's a tip for you, run. Don't look back, just run. Don't think, just run. You keep on the move to stay ahead of the game, but between me and you, you don't look like you've played. Sure, looks will always deceive, and books have pages you can always turn to read. Now it's my turn to bleed because your face is red and I've always kept your heart close to my bed. Enough said because you've said enough without saying a word now I'm lost in the rough. But I found a diamond trapped inside, the saddest looking smile I've ever seen in my life. Let's talk about Shaun's good friend ED. Also, thanks for the ads Ustream. Life is hard sometimes. If you lived my life, you would have killed yourself a long time ago. It's sex talk time, with the Jamhole. Nice job with the movie Inception. If you tried to put everyone in the theater to sleep, mission accomplished. Danni and myself have come to the realization that we're pretty much stuck with each other. There is nothing else in the valley that can make this happen. So here we are. Now it's our turn to write a book. Shaun tells us about getting caught with his pants down. Literally! Epic to the nuts. We've lost a lot of good soldiers to the addiction that Blizzard Entertainment has graciously given to us. Shaun is slowly becoming one of those soldiers. Thank you Starcraft 2. Sex is obsolete now that there's Starcraft. This guy cried like a little girl because he was the first person in his area to get the new game. It's very sad to see an Asian cry. Let's get a littlenbsp;LOT geeky and talk some game shop. This guy got anbsp;stilettonbsp;heel kicked into his eye. It's a good thing he had a little brain, he might have been killed. Fuck that must have hurt something fierce. Pimpin ain't easy, nor is it completely on the up and up. Of course she was vulnerable. That's step one of the game. This is why we need to legalize prostitution. It will dissolve the black market for whores, and keep the standards high. Getting killed by a five pound rock launched by a largenbsp;homemadenbsp;slingshot. I guess there's not much to do in the twin cities. What silly things do you remember from your child hood? Let's reminisce a little. Donate some cash and help keep this free show free. Remember, September 25th we are having the second annual Jamhole live party for episode 404 not found in the 406. RSVP on the Facebook group or the Jamhole forums. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2174 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2174#comments Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:00:07 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2174 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2174 0 78:26 "Get your fucking hands off of my girl." Ok, one down one more to go, still the same day so I don't have anything to write ... "Get your fucking hands off of my girl." Ok, one down one more to go, still the same day so I don't have anything to write about, and if I did, I wouldn't have time to write it anyways. You know I write good notes when I have the time. You can also tell when I don't have the time, because I write stupid shit like this. I hate puking when I'm driving. I also hate puking out of my nose. Especially when I'm in the middle of talking to Shaun. Danni gets a very disturbing call about her uncle. Thank you nurse, for ruining a lovely lunch. Seeing your parents cry is the worst. I can't deal with that shit. This was the start to a pretty awesome weekend. Nice scooter dude! This is love in the newnbsp;millennium. I didn't think I gotnbsp;jealousnbsp;anymore, I'm impressed. You sure showed me. Let me tell you about how Danni slapped me in the face. So hard. I am once again single... for now. What a troubled web we weave. The thought of nbsp;you being with someone else makes me fucking sick. The neighbors dog VS. kitty. Round 1. So Shaun, what were you doing instead of going out on a date? Whatever it was, I'm sure it was more important. Ten of the world's worse boyfriends. Note how I am NOT on the list. That must mean I'm doing ok. Do the Hammer Dance! Remember the live shows we're throwing and / or playing at. August 14th at Distink'd Tat shop, September 18th at Smoker's Friendly, and September 25th at Anna's Italiathen Grille. RSVP on the respective facebook groups. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2167 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2167#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:01:36 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2167 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2167 0 67:56 "Happy birthday dick fuck." Not enough hours in a day. So much crap going on, good and bad. Sometimes I wish I could just lay down ... "Happy birthday dick fuck." Not enough hours in a day. So much crap going on, good and bad. Sometimes I wish I could just lay down and go to sleep without having that damn alarm clock wake me up before I'm ready. Then again, if my wishes came true, I would have more time. Happy birthday Shaun. I can't believe you've made it twenty six years on this planet, living the way you do. Here's to twenty six more. Leave us some nice reviews on Itunes so they will feature us. Thank you. We're having some parties coming up. August 14th Shaun and I and a few other bands will be playing at distinkd tattoo / piercing shop. Bang your head and shake your hips. Then September 18th is the Roach Market thrown by the Hot Box podcast. THEN on September 25th, we are having the second annual Jamhole live show. 404 lost in the 406. It's gonna be a blast. Let's talk about some past relationships. That's always fun. This is what I do on Saturday. I'm running myself ragged. It's cool though. Danni's uncle is back in the hospital. It's brought us a bit closer together. Is that weird? Maybe he just needs someone to pray for him. Let's do a little FML. I am so fucking tired. This is why people who live in trailers with children should not be allowed to have web cams. God bless America, and nowhere else. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2160 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2160#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 05:30:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2160 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2160 0 75:31 "We need more funding, we're gonna get fucked." I found an interesting little story here about a gentleman who lost his son, because his son was ... "We need more funding, we're gonna get fucked." I found an interesting little story here about a gentleman who lost his son, because his son was away at college and thought it would be a good idea to mix oxycontin, xanax, AND alcohol. Umm, duh? You can't mix a powerful opiate with a just as powerful benzodiazapene and then wash it all down with some alcohol and expect your heart to continue beating like nothing happened. Don't they teach you anything in college? I really like the headline that says Oxycontin prescription abuse "a silent, growing problem" among youths. Really? Growing problem I completely agree with, but please, take one moment right now to do a google news search for oxycontin, then tell me how silent this problem is. There is absolutely nothing silent about people who are so addicted to this drug that they are willing to go rob pharmacys and sick people to get them. Speaking from experience with a bad oxycontin addiction, I can tell you that basically you have two choices. Kill yourself, or go get more pills, regardless of the consequences. There is no possible way to formulate into words what it's like to go through severe opiate withdrawals. It is hands down the worse thing I've ever experienced in my life. Fuck child birth and Hellraiser, this is pain. The really ironic part about this story is that the kid drove down to southern California a week earlier and paid some doctor $75 and left the office with 90 oxys, 30 xanax, and 90 muscle relaxants. Let's all give a huge round of applause to all the doctors out there making a HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY from selling the most addictive substance known to man. I guess you have to break a couple eggs if you want to make an omlette right? They say it's such a problem because people have this false sense of security, because it comes from a doctor. So you get people that might not normally try drugs because of how illegal they are, but when you have a prescription for them from a doctor, you are good to go. The next thing you know you stop taking them and feel like you want to blow your brains out all over the inside of your bedroom closet. You have to understand, there is some really good honest doctors out there, but doctors are human too, and humans are greedy mother fuckers. So it happens, but people within themselves, have this desire to get fucked up. Not all, but most. The doctors are just providing a way to do that. What an amazing world we live in. Make your travel plans now for the second annual Jamhole live audience show. Episode 404 in the 406, it's going to be a fucking party. If you wanna see what happened at the first live audience show, check out the Jamhole 250 page. Rsvp on the forums or the facebook group. Shaun is a fucking slob to live with. Do your fucking dishes. August 14th we'll be rapping at Distink'd tattoo shop. If you're local come down and hang out. There's going to be quite a few bands playing. Paybacks a bitch when you get your ass tossed off a wave runner. I'm sorry about your shoulder. Skipping off the water is awesome. When everything is brown, the whites look out of place. Oh what it would be like to live in Arizona. Diabetes rage is a very real, very serious problem. Anyone wanna party in Seattle during Hempfest with the Hot Box? We're trying to make it there, it's looking like it's going to happen. We'll keep you posted. It's August 21st and 22nd. Playing at the scoreboard is epic, especially when the audience is 5 people. Danni seemed to have a littlenbsp;aggressionnbsp;towards that bar. I wonder why? Fight! Fight, a nigger and a white! Hahaha. Does anyone remember that little rhyme from grade school? Is it weird that I do? I blame thenbsp;Christiannbsp;school I was forced to go to. Rap all of the sudden just got real around here. I totally blow up the movie Splice. If you don't want it ruined, don't watch it. Let's all take a minute to point and laugh at the world's first FULL face transplant patient.... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2154 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2154#comments Sat, 24 Jul 2010 01:41:45 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2154 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2154 0 63:31 "You can't be a priest and do that shit." It's a beautiful damn near ninety degree day here in the Flathead Valley, so rather than come ... "You can't be a priest and do that shit." It's a beautiful damn near ninety degree day here in the Flathead Valley, so rather than come straight home and do the show notes like you would all like me to do, I said fuck it, and went for a bike ride. I don't feel one bit bad about it either, so there. Plus, you have plenty of other shit to read on the internet, so stop crying please. It's going to be ok. One day, when I have more time for both podcasts, a hip hop "career hobby" and bike riding, I'll write better notes. Until then, just listen to the fucking show, and keep your head up. Everything is going to be ok. Thank you for the connection problems Bresnan. You really make it a pleasure to do an internet radio show. Now listen as Shaun and Danni try to fill time while I fixed shit. If you are sick, or have a disease that is contagious, DO NOT come to my place. Thank you. The next person that gets me sick is getting a kick to the cunt. You have been warned. Danni finally had sex with someone that's not me! Let's all send her congratulatory messages to her twitter and facebook. Right ON! So it's ok for Danni to bring up my personal life, but don't ever try to bring hers up. I'll keep that in mind. Lil Fstr, you don't see a problem with this on your plates? Maybe my mind is just in the gutter. Shaun, this isn't biological war, this is a friendship. If you want to go to war, we can do that. War is not Christ's way. Are you sure about that? Have you ever read the bible? I rest my case. If you have never seen or heard of Ghetto Fights, you have to check that shit out. It really does wonders for the whole African American community. So now we have babies born already pre addicted to opiates like Oxycontin and Vicodin. That's really helpful. If you have a baby like that, do your baby a favor and kill it. You should let me do the meth commercials for you. Because the ones you make are fucking stupid. This is what happens when redneck's get bored and have access to highly combustible fuels. It never evennbsp;occurrednbsp;to you that this might explode? Hidda Hadda Herdda! Gay sex is alive and well in the Catholic churchnbsp;hierarchy. As if you really needed any more negative press all up the ass of your bullshit hypocrite religious cult. This is what happens when you indoctrinate children into your bullshit hypocrite religious cult. Once they actually figure out what is really going on, they will come back with anbsp;vengeance. So you have twonbsp;uteri, and a baby in each. Your life is completely OVER if you don't abort... If you know what I mean. Read the comments on the page of this story. They are pretty priceless. Killing your autistic children so that in the future, perhaps you can have normal children. I honestly don't see the problem with this. Throwing Pee Pee at the cops, after trying to run over her ex boyfriend at ye old trailer park. What a fantastic bunch of fucked up stories, thank you to all the people in the world doing fucked up shit we can talk about. You really make this show what it is. Remember, RSVP for the second annual Jamhole Live Show! You can do that on the forums or the facebook group. If you want to see footage from last years show, check out the 250 page. It's called that, because it was episode 250. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2148 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2148#comments Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:00:36 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2148 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2148 0 82:45 "It hurts, but it's so pretty." No answer is also an answer. Word to that. The Jamhole Facebook group is slacking. You guys got smoked by the ... "It hurts, but it's so pretty." No answer is also an answer. Word to that. The Jamhole Facebook group is slacking. You guys got smoked by the Hot Box podcast Facebook group. This may have been the geekiest sentence I've ever typed. We are having the second annual Jamhole live show September 25th at Anna's again. Check out the 250 page for our first live audience show. It's gonna be a blast, so book your travel tickets now! I'll make an event on the Forums and the Facebook group. If you are going to start a podcast, make sure you have a girl co host. They will never leave because they need the attention. Thank you for bringing up us fucking. We all appreciate it. Let's talk about the people in the I.T. Crowd. How much money have we spent on the War on Terror since 9/11? Too much... Galactor calls in to talk about RFID detonators. Good stuff. Why is that manly looking woman fucking that dog? Maybe the dog was asking for it. Why is that child screaming at that def lady? Oh right, because she can't hear. That makes sense. Danni is a pussy when it comes to flying. Shh... This lady may be the craziest lady ever... So far. Her daughters are the virgin mary and an angel, and her son was the chosen one. Chosen to have a crazy bitch mom. HAHA. :( Can you tell I'm in a hurry writing these? Fuck I can't wait till I have more time. Hey, you should watch where you walk. You just text yourself right off a cliff. Donate money and shit. Thanks! podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2141 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2141#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 05:00:16 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2141 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2141 0 71:20 "I'll take what the fuck for 400." This was one of the funniest episodes to me personally in quite some time. I don't know what it ... "I'll take what the fuck for 400." This was one of the funniest episodes to me personally in quite some time. I don't know what it is about Shaun, but he just cracks me the fuck up sometimes. I guess the weed probably helps to. Did I mention that you might wanna be under the influence of some kind while listening to this podcast. Unless of course you're driving, then maybe wait to get home. So I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mother. Without her, and her mom and her mom's mom and so forth and so on, none of this would have been possible. So from all of us to all of the mom's that came together to have sex until one of them popped out me, thank you. Oh yea, and donate, because I'm broke right now and I could really use $20. Thanks! Please join me in welcoming "The Hawk" to the studio. Yes, my roommate is a retard. When you rap and podcast, you need to separate groups. One for the rap groupies and one for the podcast groupies. So what's your angle now? The mad rapist strikes again. This is the funniest story ever. I really need to start hanging out with Shaun more. Danni tells us about her boat date. Sounds like a BLAST. She also met a kid. I really have nothing else to say about that. I would really appreciate it if you would not text during the show. I know you can focus for at least an hour. Thank you. The Hawk wants the healing to begin. I fully agree. Danni needs to get to know herself. Danni's going to stay the night and fuck me because she can't find anyone else to fuck. Chicks like pricks. Pay attention. This is why you should hang out for the pre show pre game warm up. Hey, that's exactly where my shirt was. Best farmer tan ever. I'm going to have to hang out at the lake and ride wave runners more. And by the way, a wave runner that goes damn near 80 MPH on the water is not pussy shit, so you, and your "jet ski" that doesn't "float" can blow me. Who sucked your dick with stitches in it? Ok Danni, you win. Thank you. Dump the rider. I don't like that game anymore. LISTEN UP, we're doing the second annual Jamhole Live Show camping party. The live show will be September 25th at Anna's Italian Grille again. It's going to be a blast. If you missed it last year, I highly recommend you come get some this year. Check out the video trailer and buy the copy of the first live show. Some news from Josh at the Bigmouths Podcast. They will be back August 5th. Do you wanna know what happened? Just kidding, I wouldn't blow up his spot like that. If you guys want me to go undercover andnbsp;infiltratenbsp;the homeopathic "doctor," donate $60 which is what it costs for the visit, and I'll get it done. Now let's talk about how all guys like a finger in their ass. Of course, this IS the Jamhole after all. The Hawk says it's called the "Lucky Pierre." I have standards. That's all. I don't see what's wrong with hooking up with chicks on Facebook. Call up Mark and ask him why he first created Facebook. It was because him and his friends couldn't get laid to save their lives. There is a problem with too many fat people in Columbus. You are putting paramedics in the hospital from trying to lift your large disgusting ass. If you are over 500 pounds, you aren't allowed to use the 911 service. Just deal. This is the one case where you should probably just make the phone call. Best text message ever! This brings us to a discussion about whether you would rather get shot with a gun or a taser. Thoughts? Email info@thejamhole.com or use the comment form on the about us page. The screen play to Mrs. Doubtfire II, I Rack. Dude, that chick's a dude! When turkeys start killing people, we have a serious problem on our hands. Peep my turkey impression. The Hawk tells us a story about how he hit The Owl. Second best story ever! Getting put in jail for trying to give someone a hug. What would you do if someone just came up to you and tried to hug you? Thanks, happy birthday mom, and we'll see you... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2135 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2135#comments Sat, 17 Jul 2010 03:00:38 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2135 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2135 0 72:57 "No fucking discretion, just a mad rapist on the loose." So, let's have a show of hands, who here thinks it's a good idea to build ... "No fucking discretion, just a mad rapist on the loose." So, let's have a show of hands, who here thinks it's a good idea to build a Muslim mosque near the site of where the world trade center used to live? At first I thought this was a ridiculous idea, until I saw that Sara Palin also thinks it's a horrible idea. Of course, I can't be seen agreeing with that retarded mind fuck, so I thought about it some more, and have come to the conclusion that maybe it's not such a bad idea. I mean, let's look at this from a terrorist prevention point of view. Who are we in a war against? Terrorists! Now, as we all know, terrorists come in all shapes and sizes, colors and cultural backgrounds. But what is the one thing most terrorists have in common? They believe in that silly Muslim bullshit. Now I'm not saying that white people don't believe in silly bullshit, they do probably more so than the dark people, but unless you are an abortion clinic or porn store, you probably aren't going to get firebombed by white christians. So if we don't want the Muslim terrorists to attack whatever the fuck it is they are going to build at ground zero, you simply build a Muslim mosque near it. Not only will this prevent the Muslims from blowing it up again, but this will also serve as a deterrent to other terrorist organizations. I think the United States is the only country crazy enough to start shit with a culture that has been in a religous war since it's people have walked the planet. This means that, on top of Muslims not bombing ground zero again, no other organization will either. They know that if they drop bombs anywhere near a mosque, they are going to be dragged into this war ad infinitum just like the United States is, and we've all seen how well that has worked out. So really, if you take a minute to think about it, I think it's a great idea. Plus it's New York, which is a pretty rancid shit hole anyways. I doubt anyone is going to notice the difference. I guess the smell might give it away. Muhammad should have added something in the Torah or Koran or whatever magical fairytale book they read out of, about taking showers and going easy on the curry. If you guys could smell yourselves, you would be more mindful of what you shovel into your head holes. Oh well, what do you do? Things are so far fucked past the point of fixing, it's time to just hang out, get by and watch the world end. Let's welcome our friend, Jake Jarvis to the Jamhole. Not the guy's son from TWiG, but our friend. Did you hear about the new 21 and up Kalispell night club? It should have been called The Bird, but no such luck. So what exactly is Club Kali? Well, it's the upstairs of the Eagles club. I guess it is a club, so whatever. Jake and myself go way back. Let me tell you about working at the old Alltel store. Don't worry, it's not there anymore. I fucking hated that job. So apparently all you have to do if you are at a bar trying to pick up chicks, is walk up to them while staring at them, then just lean in and let them do the rest. I suppose they have to be pretty drunk and not a "Dana" type personality for this to work. Are you a girl? Would you just let some dude roll up to you and kiss you? Email info@thejamhole.com. Repo Men was a pretty cool fucking movie. That would be my dream job. Besides working in the medical marijuana industry. Shout out to the 2Hip bike guys. I hope you found some chronic! Can you ride your bicycle with no handlebars? Did you know Kalispell has a monastery? It looks like it's run by one monk on his own. He also looks really creepy, if I was a 12 year old. So it's been decided. Saturday, September 25th 2010 will be the second annual Jamhole live audience show. Come hang out with us in beautiful Kalispell Montana. If you can make it here for September 18th, you can catch the Roach Market / Hot Box live show festival party also! Bring your medical marijuana cards and let's party. Well, the mice are still alive and do podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2128 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2128#comments Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:30:51 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2128 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2128 0 71:52 "No, she was seriously scared of penis." Ok, let's do this real quick like, it's ninety fucking degrees outside and I really want to go ride ... "No, she was seriously scared of penis." Ok, let's do this real quick like, it's ninety fucking degrees outside and I really want to go ride before the show. Sooo, I hear that getting hooked on pain medication has gone up 400% in the last decade. That's pretty awesome. If only every industry could do what Purdue Pharma did and make their products more addicting than air, we'd all be fucking rich. Second, Steve Jobs is defending his piece of shit call dropping Iphone 4 by saying, "Reception issues were a problem shared by the whole smartphone industry." Umm, hey Steve dude, I've had a smartphone for the last 5 years, and it's never been an Iphone, and guess what? I've never had reception problems. Just get up there like the old man you are, admit that you fucked up because you are like a teenager with a rice burner, you make it look all super sweet and shit, but the thing doesn't fucking run. Go to your room and don't come out until you make a phone that is smart enough to make a phone call, and then continue said phone call for a duration longer than ten seconds. It's not an industry problem because if you have a Droid on Verizon, at least here in Kalispell Montana, I've never had a dropped call, unless of course I was talking to someone with an Iphone. The sad thing is, the guy actually sounded sad on the phone when he told me he would probably have to call me back a few times because his Iphone can't hold a signal to save it's battery life. Honestly, I think Verizon should keep on being the carrier that DOES NOT carry the Iphone. But of course, they'll get it, then everyone here will start walking around with them, looking like complete fucking D'bags. SHUT UP PLEASE. Thank you. Last but not least, I'd like to mention the oil explosion take over debacle. It looks like they finally figured out how to cap that son of a bitch off. Until the methane blows, then we're all fucked anyways. But look at it this way, in the meantime, you created quite a few new jobs with the whole clean up process and all. So nice work. In hindsight, a wise man once told me there is no such thing as bad press. So if that is the case in this reality, you guys are the most popular show on TV! Nice work! Did you ever masturbate or still masturbate with the shower massager? Email info@thejamhole.com (if you're a chick of course), and write me an erotic story. Thanks! Getting your dick (or my dick rather), stuck in the zipper. I fucking hate when that happens. If you can find the phobia for getting your dick stuck in your zipper, let me know. Dana is getting some play, except that she doesn't want to play yet. Sorry guys :( Oh yea, and if she fucks you for a little fling, don't turn into a weirdo stalker. She just needs to get fucked, that's all. Cut your dick off so you can save the jeans. Duh! I love internet comments. Josh from the Big Mouths podcast wants you all to know that he's having some difficulties, but he promises to be back sometime this year. Ok, I totally made that up. But he says they'll be back. Dana got fired. Pass it on. Oh yea, and help out with some donations, this shit is expensive. No dick in the dirt, shout out to Tamarack Dispensary. Have you ever been to the funny farm? It's really not that funny. I can deal with kids, I just prefer not to. All the girls with no kids holla! Thank you to everyone for breaking up. Everyone is fresh on the prowl, looking to get that void filled. This valley has the most beautiful women. Thank you mommies and daddies. This is the most disgusting thing I read all day. Once again, a huge shout out to Purdue Pharma for turning everyone into drug ruled zombies. You are now deliberately injecting yourselves with another addicts blood. That's so fucking nasty. Hey nigga, you got any flash blood? AIDS free preferably. If you don't know, you better ask somebody. This is the future of getting fucked up. Aurally. I found my copy of I-doser, so if you wanna buy some "drugs" get at ya podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2122 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2122#comments Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:00:16 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2122 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2122 0 70:06 "I wouldn't work with you if I thought you sucked." Could this whole BP oil disaster reach a tipping point and cause a doomsday like mass ... "I wouldn't work with you if I thought you sucked." Could this whole BP oil disaster reach a tipping point and cause a doomsday like mass extinction event? According to this article, it sure as shit can. Apparently some scientists are comparing the methane gas escaping in the gulf to way back in the day, approximately 251 million years ago. Back then, there was another large undersea methane bubble that caused massive explosions,nbsp;poisonednbsp;the atmosphere, and caused the destruction of more than 96% of all life on earth. This was called the Permian extinction event. Don't believe me? Google that shit. Experts agree the Permian extinction event was the single greatest mass extinction in the planet's history. Then, 55 million years later another methane bubble ruptured causing more mass extinctions during the late Paleocene Thermal Maximum. According to scientists, those subterranean seas of methane virtually reshaped the planet when they explosively blew from deep beneath the waters of what is today called the Gulf of Mexico. Now, scientists are worried that the same series of catastrophic events that led to worldwide death back then may be happening again. Thanks BP! Apparently the Deep Horizon drilling operation may have triggered an irreversible cascading geological Apocalypse that will culminate with the first mass extinction of life on Earth in many millions of years. I for one am super excited. Either way, we'll try to keep on keeping on. After all, if most of life on Earth gets destroyed, and it's BP's fault, someone is going to need to be there to point the finger at them. I've got my finger ready. BP, I'm looking at you. Can anyone say Karma? You really need to read the whole article, what I touched on here is just a small part of the problems they are having, and are going to have in the Gulf. Now would probably be a good time to move as far away from there as you possibly can. Then again, if this thing happens on a global level, we won't be safe no matter where we go. So, I wish you all the best of luck, and keep on listening. Remember, I put up the new songs I've gotten finished at thejamhole.com/music. I was listening back to them today, and damn, I write some pretty cool shit, if I do say so myself... and I do. Again, make sure to check out the Jamhole music page. Do other recording artists do it the way we do it? Because I am FUCKING sick of these songs. I guess if you hear anything over and over and over again, it starts to wear on you. Don't ever ask me to recite another bible verse. Thank you. I guess we have a name for our little rap group hobby. The Rap Music Project. Don't ask, it was Shaun's idea. Let's talk about the state of hip hop today. Are my lyrics a little too complex for you? Poor baby. The Hot Box podcast will now be twice a week. You can catch us on the normal time Tuesday, and now on Saturday! Stay tuned for the time. We're pretty sure it will be in the day time. Probably early afternoon. Also, keep Saturday, September 18th open. We are going to have the first annual Hot Box Roach Market. It's going to be a blast. Stay tuned for details. Also, do you guys want another Jamhole live audience show? Saturday September 25th will be a year since the first live audience show for episode 250. If you guys want it, we'll make it happen. Email info@thejamhole.com and let us know! If you have any kind of artistry talent, you can win yourself a super sweet glass pipe. Check out hotboxpodcast.com/contest for details. Basically we need a new logo, and if your logo gets picked, you'll win the pipe! Shaun gives us helpful advice on how to remedy a broken heart. He knows best right? Poor Mel Gibson. Maybe she deserved it, you don't know. I heard she's kind of a crazy bitch. Didn't you get married one time? Tell me your thoughts on marriage. Singing I will survive on the way to the death camp. Did I say death camp? I meant happy camp. Don't make a bet that will make you set you... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2102 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2102#comments Sat, 10 Jul 2010 06:00:14 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2102 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2102 0 68:57 "Wait till this little bitch rips your heart out of your chest." I know I've been slacking on the show notes lately, but we're trying to ... "Wait till this little bitch rips your heart out of your chest." I know I've been slacking on the show notes lately, but we're trying to make some great things happen with the Hot Box podcast as well as this silly rap dream of ours, so time has been limited. So you can either read this, or wait till we talk about it on the show tonight, but we've gotten a couple of new hip hop tracks up. I made thejamhole.com/music which has all of the music we've made so far. There are two tracks from the Book of Matthew, the track of Shaun and I fucking around in the lab, then the two new tracks I just finished this weekend. So keep that page bookmarked, we'll be posting all the music we make from now on there. In other news, we are starting to do the Hot Box two days a week. There is just way too much shit happening in the world of marijuana to do the show once a week, so along with the normal Tuesday episode, we'll be doing an extra show Saturday in the day time as well. Hopefully that way we can keep the shows more focused (yea right), and spend more time on the topics that need to be discussed in depth. It will make me have fuck all for free time but it will be well worth it. I expect great things. I'm usually let down, but I think this will be different. Of course, the server bill is due again, so any donations are greatlynbsp;appreciated, and help keep the show running smoothly. I think that about covers it for now, plus it's about time to get ready for the Monday Funday show, so fuck yea! Keep the post cards coming to thejamhole.com/pobox. We are asking all of our listeners who aren't lazy pieces of shit to send us a postcard from their city or state. Especially if there are kitties on them. Thank you. Hey Bigmouths podcast, when you do shows, you fucking rock, when you don't you suck a cock. HA, that's a little rhyme I just made up for you. Freestyle nigga! WWGFD? He would bash the fuck out of boxes with his crowbar. Fuck yea, if you find some of these bumper stickers, please send them to the po box. Hey Shaun, can you please stop being such a slob fuckingnbsp;roommate. Thank you. Also, please don't leave your nut hairs all over the toilet. Now, please tell us about your first hate mail. This may have changed his life. If you wanna hear what the hater was talking about, check out the new music page or Lyrickal's Myspace. If you are a rapper who doesn't listen to other rap music, I don't want to listen to you... Or your rap music. Thank you for the headphones Sandy, it is really making dealing with Shaun while we record rap music way more tolerable. Danni can now appreciate what it feels like to heave from both ends. That's called Karma. I think she's still pretty sick, so she won't be on the Monday Funday show. More work problems. Do you think Danni just has really bad luck at jobs or does she cause the problems. It's kind of weird. Passing around depression like a hotnbsp;potato. Good thing they have drugs for that. So if you really want to know about my personal life, here you go. Avatar the Last Airbender was a pretty ok movie. It reminds me of how much our reality sucks. I wish I was magic. Please stop making every single movie in 3D. They don't all need to be like that. Danni finds out who may have gotten her sick. Danni shows everyone hownbsp;jealousnbsp;she is by making fun of my sexy new friend. Also being sick has made Danni lose quite a bit of weight, so she thinks she looks super sexy. Don't get me wrong she looks sexy as fuck, but you lose anymore weight you are going to start looking sickly. Get well soon! Hey, where did my toddler go? Oh right, I buried him in concrete.nbsp;Never mind... You shouldn't dry a horse off with an electric fan. Not a very smart move for someone who comes from a family who can afford nine horses. Yes thank you Danni, drugs do make you feel better, until you run out of drugs of course. Then, good fucking luck. Let's hear all the reasons why Danni will nev... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2091 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2091#comments Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:00:05 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2091 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2091 0 68:36 "So, did you get your ass beat by a bunch of canucks?" According to this article out of Vancouver, gangsters, also known as thugs, or "G'd ... "So, did you get your ass beat by a bunch of canucks?" According to this article out of Vancouver, gangsters, also known as thugs, or "G'd up douche bags," have found themselves a new drug of choice. Really? I'm intrigued... This in and of itself isn't surprising, but what is surprising is the reason the article states. They say that an increasing number of mid level British Columbia G's have started getting hooked on oxycontin to "relieve the stress and pain of their volatile life in the criminal underworld." Hahahaha, oh fucking man. I'm so stressed right now, I gotta go kill this nigga who was talking shit, I gotta go collect money from my hoe stable, I got three different baby mommies all wanting a piece of my scrilla (that's money for our white uncultured readers). Fuck, I need a stress reliever. I know, let's get nice and addicted to prescription grade heroin! Fantastic, as if your life wasn't shit enough, you go and add drug addiction to the mix? You know, I always heard in rap songs that pimpin ain't easy, or 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, but I have yet to hear a gangsta rapper talk about being so stressed out over being gangsta that they had to go and get addicted to one of the most addictive substances in our pharmacological arsenal. They are going to have to change the song to say 100 problems but a bitch still ain't one, but I had to add another problem because I'm a fucking oxycontin junky now. I guess gang banging thugs aren't exactly known for their intelligence. This just goes to show you how much of a quick learner I am. I figured out the amazing power of oxy to make you not give a fuck about how shitty your life is over a decade ago. They are just now figuring this out? I am curious how a gang member looks when he's all out of pills and can't afford ammo for his gat in order to go rob another pharmacy to reup the stash. What would that look like? That's the image they should use on their album cover. Because as you all may or may not know, every gang member is also an aspiring "recording artist." You should take a quick look at the actual article I'm talking about, because it goes into detail about how these gang members went on nasty drug fueled killing sprees because the oxycontin in their brain's made them give even less of a fuck then they did before. Is that even possible? Fuck yes it is. I never used to really give a fuck, then once I started taking pills, I gave even less of a fuck... about ANYTHING, except of course, for getting more pills. Ooh goody, this again. Let's do something different for a change. Also, help pay some podcast bills. I mean shit, you're the ones listening to the show. Take a listen to episode seven of the Hot Box, then listen to an episode of Katg with Ben Lehrman. It blows my mind hownbsp;similarnbsp;they sound. Myq Kaplan is quite funny, check out his Comedy Central Presents special. It's big ol fat Oprah tits! Day 53 of the mice living in our walls. Thank you landlord and the makers of D-Con for not taking care of the problem like you should have. Danni can't move in to her new place because the house wasnbsp;foreclosednbsp;on. Talk about bad luck! Speaking of bad luck, hey Danni's boss, quit being a fucking dick. She'll be back to normal once she gets over this whole mess. You aren't helping. This is home to Dana, but we discuss some things and come to the conclusion that she can't deal with an open relationship. At least she tried. We have to part ways unfortunately. She'll still be doing the show at least. After the casual fucking dies down, what's left? Hopefully a good solid foundation for a life long relationship to be built on. But once the foundation cracks, there's nothing left to do but move on. Apparently I could disprove gravity if given enough time. I do have a way with words. Danni needs to be that tough chick she was when I first met her. If you are local and a hot dude, go stop by Danni's work with some flowers. Just try and no... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2084 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2084#comments Tue, 06 Jul 2010 05:25:01 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2084 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2084 0 81:50 "I'm the only one just so you know." Do any of you wake up in the morning and think to yourselves, fuck, this again? Fuck me, ... "I'm the only one just so you know." Do any of you wake up in the morning and think to yourselves, fuck, this again? Fuck me, I have to do what I did yesterday, again today? Well, I'm sure if your life is anything like mine, you go through this twice a week at the very least. When days start blending into weeks and your weeks start blending into months, you may be at the end of your rope. I find doing little subtle things differently really helps to break up the day to day monotony that goes with working a nine to five. Get out of bed on the right side rather than the left. Take a different route to work. Or dare I say it, kill your tv! I haven't had a television in the normal sense of the word since I first moved out of my mom's house. I think living this way has done wonders not only for my mind, but for me as a person. Obama said his presidency was going to be all about change. Well, we haven't really ever had a whole ocean made of oil, so I guess that's a pretty big change. Just be more conscious of what you do in your day to day comings and goings. If you feel like you want to blow your fucking brains out every morning when the alarm clock jolts you out of a hopefully peaceful sleep, then you probably need to switch it up a little. Turn off the autopilot, and start navigating the world differently. Trust me, you'll thank me in the end. If I wasn't doing the podcast, I would probably be jerking off and / or fucking and doing way more drugs. Thank you. I will be the last one. I will be the only one. There can be only one, and that one is me. Now that's true love. I'm glad you still have your wits about you at least. Happy independence day! Let's all go out and get wasted, then blow off our limbs, so that we can really know what it's like to be fullynbsp;dependentnbsp;on someone else. What a great holiday! What do Indians and black people do for independence day? The Losers was a pretty cool movie, if you like that sort of thing. Also, season four of the I.T. Crowd has started. If you're a geek, you will love that show. Also, if you can find copies of Code Monkeys, you will love that even more. Puking and shitting at the same time. Fuck my life. Especially at two in the morning. No more eating three day old pizza. If you are just opening up a restaurant, your labor hours are going to be high. DUH! We need to ok the dude that's going to be banging Danni. Tell us about your day please. Let's lay down some rules for whatever it is that we're doing here. Just come over, and fuck, then go home. Or I guess you can stay the night if you need to. Let's try and not talk to one another's chew toy. Starting now... and go! Apparently Indians don't handle the white man's diseases very well. In other news, let's compare dicks. His dick better not be bigger than mine, because if your pussy gets stretched out more than it already is, I'm going to be pissed. Danni is slacking on her man count. I'm winning so far. Not that this is a game or anything. Blowing your arm off for independence day. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? Apparently bees don't like fireworks either. Up next, on when bees attack! This is what happens when god puts in work. Little kids get run the fuck over by horses. Stop being such a show off god. It's very unbecoming of you. Apparently BP isn't just having one major problem. They are seriously trying to destroy the planet. Thanks BP! Another miracle courtesy of god. What a sad world we live in. I bet the veal is good though. The next technological break through in smuggling cocaine. That's a pretty sweet submarine you got there. Speaking of cocaine, this is the only world cup I would ever think about wanting to watch. Girls gone wild... Literally. If you don't want to go to college, this might make you change your mind. Why did you piss in the sink by the way? That's a classy lady. This is why you should take a test in order to give birth. People like this shoul... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2171 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2171#comments Sat, 03 Jul 2010 06:03:19 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2171 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2171 0 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2080 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2080#comments Sat, 03 Jul 2010 04:00:30 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2080 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2080 0 70:26 "Depending on which bell I ring, that's which hoe comes." Things in the world are still fucked up, perhaps even more so than they have ever ... "Depending on which bell I ring, that's which hoe comes." Things in the world are still fucked up, perhaps even more so than they have ever been since we've all been alive. Amidst the chaos and discord we have allowed those in charge to kindly plummet us into, there are a few things you can hold on to and count on to keep you sane. The most important of these, is of course, smoking weed. If we couldn't smoke weed, I firmly believe the suicide rate would be much higher than it is. Every time we smoke the chronic, it allows us a little escape from the monotonous day to day droning we are all a part of. Smoking weed makes me not give a shit that there isn'tnbsp;anythingnbsp;I can do to stop the oil from destroying our environment. Smoking weed helps me not give a shit that the government is completely fucking us every chance they get. It allows me to spend time inside my own mind when I need to do a little in house spring cleaning. One of the other things you can always count on to be there when you're feeling low, is the Jamhole. That's right, it's been a little rocky over these last couple of weeks, and we appreciate you all sticking with us while we get our kingdom in order. If you listened to this episode already, you'll know that we are, for the most part, back in business. nbsp;So remember, the next time life gets more overwhelming than you think you can handle, just remember, all you have to do to cope is light up a fat bowl of some good weed, turn on the Jamhole, and let us make you feel better. I got some more beats! If you want me to finish this album sooner rather than later, I could use some help paying for the rest of the beats. Hit up the donate page if you enjoy the show, and help me get these beats paid off. Married chicks are just as unhappy, if not more so in their life than I am. I will please ALL of the married chicks, if you please me of course. Now that I'm single, I'm not thinking about sex 24 / 7. Well, I still am, but it's not in my face so to speak. Danni has a new girlfriend. That's all I'm going to say about that. See, when you miss me, and know that perhaps other girls are pleasing me, it makes you want to fuck me and please me that much more. Life is good. Come over, fuck me, do the show, then get the fuck out of my house. Shaun needs to stick with rapping, and leave the cooking to the women. Shake and bake shouldn't chip your teeth like that. Check out the aftermath of the Basement Boyz 100th episode. Click here to listen to episode 101 and hear how the show went from their point of view. If you want to check out our first live show and compare it to theirs, take a look at the trailer and buy our 250th episode at our 250 page. You can help support the show and get some funny at the same time! It will be the best $5 you've ever spent! The perfect example of an eye for an eye. Now what did you learn? What does this cucumber remind you of? If this reminds you of your husbands penis, you might want to take him to the doctor. A healthy penis should never look like that. If your kids were better behaved, I wouldn't have had to rub your dog's asshole in their faces. Duh! When you live the pill junkie life, anything can become a weapon, even the nasty disgusting litter box. Sad kittens story of the week. What a fucking piece of shit. What did those kitties ever do to you? Our fans fuck good. Thank you. Only in Florida would a woman get killed in a car crash involving a porta-potty. Mommy, why did you let a known convicted pedophile give us a bath? You know he was having sex with us right? That's fucking NO! How did all these mother fucking maggots get on this mother fucking plane? That's fucking disgusting! This is why finding chicks or dudes online to date might not always be such a good idea. You might get killed and robbed. Just saying... So apparently I fuck well enough to get my ass pimped out. So if any lovely ladies out there want to donate money to the Jam... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2076 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2076#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 03:45:22 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2076 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2076 0 74:37 "I love you both equally." Ok, so that was a terrible idea, and I swear the next person that texts me saying that Dana is crazy ... "I love you both equally." Ok, so that was a terrible idea, and I swear the next person that texts me saying that Dana is crazy and wants to kill the other girl, my head is going to explode. Thank you, I know, and I'm sorry. Live and learn right? That's what they keep saying, but I don't buy it. I'm broke. No joke. Hope? Nope. Dope just to cope, looking for answers at the wrong end of the rope, and that you can quote, it's broken laying in the snow half open, spilling all over the ground like a cold wind. So just hold spin and lay down with some old sin, hot and molten but not on your cold skin. Golden, set it down out in the open and hope no one trips over your ground up soul. Are you the pope then? Fuck it, I'll play the broke bread like a slow death, shaking underneath the table like a coke head. Epic in the way she's soft spoken, it comes in waves that toss my omen to the day to the hour, to the minute to the year, and every time she leaves I have to break another mirror. To fear bad luck is a dead man's game, when you dress like some shriveled up abandoned rape. The sad win games with abstract names then wonder why they can't return a simple back handed save. I crave my Miss behave on a misty day. She cries slits of rain in between little crisp fits of pain. She's insane and I'm numb to her games, I've suffered enough to be one of her slaves. For one hundred days, until my hunch gets paid for thinking aloud about the chumps with faith. Welcome Ryan and Meg into this super mess we're calling Jamhole episodes. Thanks for playing. Yea, this is probably never going to happen, and I'm an idiot for even thinking it could. Can you see the libido in here? When you say skank, do you mean she loves to fuck? I hope one day we all look back at this and have a good laugh. Please allow me to let Ryan introduce you to the pump and dump. My life is now complete. Thank you Ryan. So what do you want to do? I have no fucking clue, what would you like to do? I don't know, what do you want to do? I'm starting to see a pattern here. If only we had a line full of people waiting to fuck us. I love you, you love me, but we probably shouldn't be together anymore. Ok, so what do you want to do? I don't know... Can we make one thing clear here? She left me. Is Ryan the only person that wants to know if "not fucking" affects the show? That is the worst idea I've ever heard. Tell us about your fishing date. I would have fucked on a boat. I have no pride. I'm not going backwards in a relationship, that's all. She's not a groupie slut, as far as I know. Is anything else annoying? If you provoke me, I will say super mean shit. Ryan, please school us on some psychology. Old school primal psychology. Ryan loves Meg for the record. Now tell me how you met. That's ok honey, I don't need my dick sucked... Ever. How long did those relationships last? I love all chicks... Ok, well not all, but most of them. Ask me why I'm never going to get married. Because Tiger Wood's divorce is going to cost him $750,000,000. That's why. Ryan gets kind of deep when he's drunk. But he's spot on. Don't feel obligated to love me. You're putting yourself at risk by fucking sluts. So are there any girls who are not sluts that would like to have sex? I am a visual creature, and that is what keeps me alive. I wish this was the matrix. Who's ready for some confessions? Aww shit yea son. You are looking at porn in the worse possible place. Thenbsp;McDonald'snbsp;play land right? Of course. Where did all the kids go? When normal explosives just aren't big enough. How the fuck did your sparkler bomb go off on it's own? That's a fucking miracle. If your friend says only eat half the brownie, you should probably listen to them. Holy fucking shit... Peep the latest Hot Box episode. It's our weed podcast hosted by Sandy and myself. This show is supported by listener donations only. If you would like to help us pay some bills, we w... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2071 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2071#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:00:18 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2071 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2071 4 103:30 "I'm probably going to regret saying this..." Are you like hundreds of other Americans who don't own a computer? Where does someone like this go to ... "I'm probably going to regret saying this..." Are you like hundreds of other Americans who don't own a computer? Where does someone like this go to look at porn real quick? Well, the library of course duh! This may all soon come to a sad embarrassing end if a city councilornbsp;in Massachusetts has his way. Daniel Raymondi has asked Mayor Thomas Koch (hahaha, you've got to be kidding me, his last name is Koch?) Oh man anyways, this major delta bravo wants mayor Koch to make a list of all the weird skeezos who have looked at porn on the library computers in the past year. So if you are one of the many unhappy married men of Quincy who takes a quick stop at the library on his way home to jerk off to some public library internet porn, you might be getting put on blast very soon. Good luck with that, and props to all of the divorce lawyers who are going to be soon over run with clients. In other news, if you have already heard this episode of the Jamhole, you know the whole show was dedicated to starting something new and fun, the pros and cons of starting something new and fun, and why it's probably going to end in disaster. I'll do my best to outline the key points. If you have an opinion on this, and you ARE NOT related to Danni, email info@thejamhole.com and let us know. Let us welcome Danni back to the studio. We've missed you! From the sound of it, she's ready to do the show again. I'm really glad you came back! Danni pisses Shaun off by calling him a sensitive fag. Weird huh? Modern medicine has once again saved a life. The plague is gone. Now, if I can only find my voice... Danni's master plan! I'm down as fuck. Are you? We'll see how it goes. It's better to have tried and failed then to completely not know if it might have worked. Place your bets! The rest of the show is basically us talking about and trying to work out the plan. Thanks for listening! The cat's out of the bag. I've been hanging out with a girl. OMFG! Crazy right? Mismatched libido's in a relationship can cause A LOT of problems. Where have all the decent fun guys in the valley gone? All that's left seems to be D-bags... Hey guys, step your fucking game up please. If anyone is local and wants to go out on a date with Danni, email info@thejamhole.com and we'll hook it up. You pay of course, because you're the guy. First we need to get Danni to stop trying to throw up in her mouth every time I mention anything about another girl. That's where we need to start. Let's do a little risk management. What's the worse that can happen? Danni should probably run this idea by Ashley or something first. You know, just for perspective. I apparently need to start caring more. If I have hurt you with my words, you probably deserved it. So go fuck yourself. I mean shit, I'm sorry for being an insensitive prick. Better than anbsp;sensitivenbsp;fag right? Every guy has a girl who was the "one that got away." If he says he doesn't, he's either lying or he's with that girl. Now a days, humans should not be together with each other for more than ten years. After ten, you should go find something new. For your health. If we make this work, it will be epic. Shaun might have a fucking stroke. How does anybody have sex with anybody else in this crazy world? No more ugly faces. I only want to see beauty shining from your face. Camping was awesome, happy birthday Adam! I had a fucking blast. I want you all... To donate and help this fucking show start paying for itself. Thank you. We'll see you tonight for the Hot Box and Wednesday for the next episode of the Jamhole. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2067 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2067#comments Sat, 26 Jun 2010 01:00:22 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2067 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2067 0 69:23 "It's very disrespectful to talk about bitches like that." Let's do something a little different today. We're going to do lightning style intro show notes. That's ... "It's very disrespectful to talk about bitches like that." Let's do something a little different today. We're going to do lightning style intro show notes. That's right, I have many styles, as some of you may know, and it's been a few since I last used it. And go... They are going to probably release Dick Cheney from the hospital Monday. Apparently he was in there for some heart ailment. Someone should tell him that he's long past the best if used by date. The problem with our country is we have the walking fucking dead running it. Gay pride go! Younbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;need all this gay pride if you would stop putting cock in your mouth. That's a woman's job, not a man's. Everytime you put a cock in your mouth, you lose a little pride. The parade is to get it back so they can suck more cock. No homo. Those stupid sand eaters are still fighting over the Gaza Strip. We should really put a dome or something over the top of it, that way when they finally get some nuclear weapons going, they can blow themselves up and none of us normal people will be affected. These people have been trying to kill each other ever since people figured out they could kill each other. There is nothing you, or anyone else can say or do, to stop that. Nothing short of god,nbsp;Jesus,nbsp;Allah, Joseph Smith andnbsp;Muhammadnbsp;coming down from heaven all in a big circle jerk with Muhammad was the pivot man to get them to stop fighting. Kill yourselves and get it over with. Thank you. Go gay pride! No homo. The Iphone 4 is a piece of shit, just like the Iph0ne 3 was, just like every other Iphone. I'm sure they were great back when it was either that or a stupid blackberry, but now that we have android, you can calm the fuck down Steve Jobs. Go figure out how to make your phone do things a phone should. You know, like make calls and let you touch it without it shitting itself. Lot's of people have emailed Steve Jobs and asked him what the deal was. He replies with "Non issue, just avoid holding it that way." Brilliant Steve, simply brilliant. Stop holding your phone like a phone you retard. Thank you android from releasing us from this giant bag of douche. The robots working under the gulf oil disaster are going to be the start of the robot apocalypse, and, in turn, the singularity. When it happens because of something that gets released with the oil and mixes with their circuits or some shit like that, remember I'm the one that told you. Then go to the donate page and give me money, because goddamn, podcasting is expensive if you want it to sound good and download fast. This concludes the lightning round, I hope you've enjoyed it. Thank you to the Evergreen Clinic for curing me. Actually, thank you for writing the prescription for the antibiotics I needed. You do good work, and you do it while looking good. Thank you to the Webmd symptom checker for narrowing down the expanse of what kind of plague I have. Do they like it when you call them bitches? Only the good ones. Redfox calls in to shoot the shit, and make fun of one of their local officials. We're just living the dream, you know how we do. Shout out to the littles! If you didn't want Mexicans to live there, maybe we shouldn't have started a white colony on Mexican land. Just saying... Shaun's pedestrian adventure. He might have had sex, it might have been pretty good. You're the best I've ever had. Is that something chicks just say when it was really THAT BAD? Thanks nurse Jessica, best in home nurse visit ever! Next time you are upset, please don't be upset around me. You rocked me like a hurricane. The 40 year old virgin who knocked up Sara Marshall and felt super bad about it was pretty fucking stupid. Funny here and there, but very stupid. Maybe those guys should do a podcast. I would appreciate it if your family would stop talking about me. Thank you. Hey, are you back with one of your ex girlfriends? Who does that? If you want to fuck her, just ask her, don't ma... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2063 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2063#comments Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:20:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2063 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2063 0 68:03 "Every end is also a new beginning." Still sick, still sad, but you know what? That's life. The more it happens, the more you get used ... "Every end is also a new beginning." Still sick, still sad, but you know what? That's life. The more it happens, the more you get used to it. You really want to know why I'm not that torn up about this? I am. I'm just hiding it better than you are. The last three times you threatened to walk out on me, I begged and pleaded with teary eyes for you to stay. So you stayed. But you can only cry wolf so many times before the village just says fuck it. If you really want to leave, then leave. You made the sex awkward, you pushed me away when I just wanted a hug or a kiss. You are overly jealous and very mean. These things in turn made me be a bigger dick to you than I should have been. I'm sorry for that, but when you provoke, you should always expect the worst back. It really is nice to see what your family really thinks about me. I'm sure we'll end up talking about that, because in hindsight, it's just so damn funny to me. Lots of weird things will become apparent after a breakup. You see who your real friends are, who the people you can trust are, and who was just in it because it served their own ends for the time being. I truly am sorry it ended up this way, but you have made your choice. I hope one day you can get over it, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. According to my Facebook status update feed, I am single now. Thanks facebook! Also, a huge thanks goes out to everyone who "liked" that update. Social networking has completely rearranged how we interact with each other. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes maybe not so much. Hey, I think I'm pregnant, and it's either you or this other guy. Flip a coin and go buy a pregnancy test bitch. Dana wrote us all a letter as to why shit happened the way it happened. Her resignation if you will. People who have heart problems shouldn't try to pick fights with people who are healthy. It never ends well for the cripple. A little hip hop group drama. Do you remember that guy I told you to get beats from? Well stop it, he's MY beat maker now. That was kind of a Delta Bravo move, and you know that. Shaun comes from a long line of natural rock stars. Follow this guy, because wherever he is, the party is. Enjoy our little rendition of I need you now tonight. Or whatever the fuck it's called. Some sly relationship advice from Lyrickal himself. Take this shit to heart. How much time should you spend on a song that's just up on myspace for the fuck of it. A song entitled "Just fucking around in the lab" I'm gonna say two hours is the max for me. Can the women in the chat stop being cunts? Thank you. Churning an argument into violence. I said use real butter bitch! Not this margarine bullshit. Using your best female assets to steal car after car. Hey jealousy! You can get away with just about anything if you're a naked chick. You know how I know you were a family man? Because I never saw you anymore. When I did, you looked miserable as fuck. I would be ok with ladies coming here to tell me about the lord if they were all as hot as this chick was. She wanted it pretty bad. So we may have a case of the Black Plague breaking out here. Thanks goes out to the littles living in my wall. This is how you have to go about talking to the landlord if you want anything done. What the fuck do you do when someone throws acid on your face? There's no blocking that shit. A child versus a train. I'll give you a hint who won... It wasn't the child. Where were his fucking parents? Day 65 and still gushing oil? Nice, it sounds like whoever was driving this robot was a bit drunk. A quick wrap up of the whole relationship thing. Shaun chimes in with his own personal experience. Thanks for listening everyone! Donate some cash if you enjoy the show, follow us on twitter or join the facebook group. Make sure you are subscribed to the show, rate and review us on Itunes. podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2059 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2059#comments Tue, 22 Jun 2010 06:40:42 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2059 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2059 0 78:36 "It's not my fault people make me be a dick." So, how about those... Nevermind, this is silly. I hope you all enjoyed the show. Shaun ... "It's not my fault people make me be a dick." So, how about those... Nevermind, this is silly. I hope you all enjoyed the show. Shaun wanted me to mention that he should probably never be that drunk on the show again. I'm pretty sure he divulged some pretty personal shit, and if he ever listens back to the show, he's gonna feel pretty sad about it. Shit, I feel pretty sad about it. That's what a sixer of the PB's will do to you. Anyways, I posted this on twitter, but I'd like to talk about it here. Let's face it, you don't wanna hear about my sad ass relationship problems. Or do you? Well, you can listen to the Wednesday show and figure out what's up. So, this guy here, this 31 year old computer hacker,nbsp;decided it would be a good idea to steal a bunch of personal information, credit card numbers, anything you might need to steal someone's identity. The cool thing about this is, he stole information from women, then blackmailed them into getting all hot and heavy on the web cam for him. The still greatest part about this whole fucking thing is... Most of the women actually did it! Apparently he tricked them by using free song downloads that were infected with malware. Once you click on some nasty stupid shit like that, it's pretty much over. Tape up the camera on your laptop, especially if you are a hot sexy chick. Although, if you are a hot sexy chick, chances are you have some sort of hot sexy filth of yourself on your computer. Of course, once you have total control of someone's computer, you have to go perusing through C:/mycomputer/pictures/filthy_sex to see what sort of treasure can be found. So in closing I just want to say right on to this guy, and right on to hot sexy chicks. Thank you. Tonights episode of the Jamhole is once again brought to you by Shaun being drunk on PBR. Idaho was awesome. It's god's country out there. Libby is cool too, you can negotiate hotel room prices if you are smooth about it. Thanks Mercaedes. I found the greatest folf course ever in Athol Idaho. Check the PDGA course directory to find a super sweet course near you. The Basement Boyz 100th episode went totally awesome... For me and everyone who watched it. Maybe not so much for the basement boyz themselves. That's why you can't really do a live podcast show in a bar. Next time, come here and we'll use the restaurant again. Here's where it all kind of goes downhill. It always starts at the pool. It's fine, I still don't have any game apparently. Honestly, I had a horrible fucking time. No game, no chicks, no nothing. nbsp;:( What's wrong with me? Ward calls in to tell us all what the fuck went down at the Basement Boyz 100th ep. I let Dana hang out with dudes and I don't say shit. I take a girl to a live podcast show and now I'm the asshole? Idaho rappers don't fuck around. I thought rolling in six deep was cool, they fools roll in like 8 deep. All wearing the same shirts, like a huge white gangsta boy band rap circus. It was a sight to behold. It was just like that Atmosphere song describes. Doing a live audience show isn't as easy as it sounds. But I really enjoyed the stand up part of it. Seeing you guys do that was awesome. Shaun has known me many years, and I am a HUGE douche. I'm a dick. I'm also an OK friend once in a while. Shaun's brother calls in. It's the raspy voice cast. Why does everyone have the fucking black plague? If I would have known that Dana was going to react like that, I probably never would have told her. Please stop being so jealous. Thank you. Yes, she really did get mad, if you were wondering. Shaun goes digging through the porn collection. Find anything fun? Of course. Fuck me indeed. I wasn't even trying to fuck. From this point on, it's just me and Shaun. How awkward was that? Happy Father's day to you! Here is a couple of stab wounds. Thanks daddy! Am I in the wrong here, because she's really pist. Feel free to express yourself with an email to info@thejamhole.co... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2055 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2055#comments Sat, 19 Jun 2010 03:00:16 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2055 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2055 0 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2050 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2050#comments Thu, 17 Jun 2010 06:00:41 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2050 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2050 0 67:54 "You think anyone wants to fuck this?" And now, I would like to welcome to the stage, the great Redfox from the Sporkroast podcast. If you ... "You think anyone wants to fuck this?" And now, I would like to welcome to the stage, the great Redfox from the Sporkroast podcast. If you listen to any of our friends' podcasts you will know who this kid is. So read what he has to say, and take it to heart, because he wrote it from his. This is some serious shit going on here, so pay attention. Why should we believe in science? nbsp;For some reason this question has become more popular in our culture these days. nbsp;One would assume because itrsquo;s 2010, we should have electric cars, jet packs, food in a pill, and all the other things those old ldquo;World of Tomorrowrdquo; cartoons used to have. nbsp;I recently watched a TED Talk by Michael Specter. He is a staff writer for the New Yorker, and his new book, Denialism, asks why we have increasingly begun to fear scientific advances instead of embracing them. nbsp;This lecture really hit home with me, and describes many of the feelings I have about modern times and why we are so quick to deny science and favor our friendrsquo;s versions of stories over authority figures. One of the reasons, I feel, wersquo;re so quick to deny science, is that we fall victim to logical fallacies far too often. nbsp;I donrsquo;t know if itrsquo;s human nature or something in our culture, but we have such a difficulty deciphering correlation and causation. nbsp;Just because two things happen at the same time, doesnrsquo;t necessarily mean that they one is caused by the other. nbsp;The most common, present day example is the Vaccination/Autism issue. nbsp;In the TED Talk, Specter mentions Andrew Wakefieldrsquo;s study that linked childhood vaccinations with autism. nbsp;Multiple studies were done afterwards to confirm the results of Wakefieldrsquo;s study. nbsp;He states multiple studies should have been done after. nbsp;Itrsquo;s a natural part of science. The reason I bring up this logical fallacy is not to restate things about autism and vaccines. nbsp;I want to show how in your daily life, how often this applies even in mundane tasks. nbsp;Everyone has those things in like that they feel work for some reason. nbsp;How many times do you have to smack something in your car before the air conditioning works, or how many times do you push the elevator button for it to go down to you quicker. nbsp;We all do these silly things in our lives. nbsp;They seem mundane at the time, but they translate to bigger and more important things like science. nbsp;How many cold remedies have you tried? nbsp;Why do we flock to Airborne (Which used to contain more than the FDA recommended dose of Vitamin A before they got sued), or other crazy cures. nbsp;Therersquo;s a whole aisle in Walgreens of symptom soothing remedies that have been proven to work. nbsp;Many people have tested these products so that they do what they say they do. nbsp;If something makes a specific claim to help you medically, they must be tested and approved by the FDA. nbsp;Read the bottle of Nyquil next time and compare it to Airborne. nbsp;Yoursquo;ll notice that the Nyquil makes very specific claims about why it helps. nbsp;Airborne ldquo;boosts the immune system.rdquo; nbsp;As a side note, you probably donrsquo;t want to ldquo;boost your immune system.rdquo; nbsp;Boosting your immune system would probably end up with you being more unhealthy as your immune response would start attacking healthy cells. The talk of taking medicines that a pharmaceutical company creates usually brings someone to say, ldquo;I donrsquo;t want all these chemicals in my body, I like natural things.rdquo; nbsp;Without going on to a discussion about how poison ivy is natural, along with snake venom, and jelly fish neurotoxins, you simply need to see how much better science is at doing things that nature. nbsp;Itrsquo;s not that science and nature are at war; itrsquo;s that they are working in tandem. nbsp;In the TED Talk, Specter points out that we need to grow 70% more food in the next decades. nbs... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2046 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2046#comments Tue, 15 Jun 2010 05:59:17 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2046 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2046 0 81:15 "You're shameful about all the wrong things." When we have such a beautiful day as we did today here in the Big Sky country, I almost ... "You're shameful about all the wrong things." When we have such a beautiful day as we did today here in the Big Sky country, I almost forget what a messed up world we live in. Lucky for me, and all the other pessimists out there, the internet is right there waiting to remind us of how fucked up shit can get. Take this story for example. This 54 year old "gentleman" in Brazil was arrested and accused with fathering eight children with his two eldest daughters. The sad thing is, this isn't the first time we've come across a person like this. Do you all remember the story last year about Josef Fritzl, the Austrian father who raped his daughter and had seven children by her and one miscarriage? Of course you do. So maybe we have a copy cat here, or perhaps this is just something that happens every now and then. So back to the main story, this crazy fuck fathered seven children with his 29 year old daughter, and one child with his 31 year old daughter. I guess you gotta switch it up every now and then so you don't wreck the puss right? The police have also confirmed that two other of his children / grandchildren were also sexually abused. Of fucking course they were. You know what, I wouldn't be surprised if it comes out that he was sexually abused himself. That always makes for a great excuse. I think this one is a bit far too past the "I was drunk" excuse, but you are never far too past the "I was molested" excuse. Just ask the Catholic church! Anyways, this is what I like to call the point of no return. There is nothing you can really do for this "family" except to put them out of their misery. ALL OF THEM. Because if you don't, you know the cycle will repeat itself, over and over and over again. That's the circle of life. This guy should have made himself a little Human Centipede! That was for you Ward. Hey, do you guys have a call in phone number? What is it? 406.204.4687. Oh right, I would know that if you would say it slower you fucking asshole. A huge thanks to Shaun for passing me part of his sickness. Go buy your own mouth wash you son of a bitch. Be thankful that I use girls body wash. Otherwise I would smell like balls and asshole. Instead, I smell like a wet dream. You're welcome. Did you just shit your pants? Yes, he did. We'll give Shaun a chance to defend himself on the Wednesday episode. A quick run down of the new episode of True Blood. I wanna do bad things to you! Chicks should always be kissing, that's the law of the land here in Jamholia. Thank you fence for putting a nice size hole in my shorts. So, can you sew? I would appreciate it if you could stop farting in my presence. Have some fucking shame. Thank you. I don't care how poor a man is, if he has family, he's rich. Go tell that to everyone with a family standing in the welfare line. When does a company ever send you an email with your password in the attachment? That's right dummy, never. PMSx365 Best plate ever. What a bitch! If your girlfriend likes to sing Reba, she might be a redneck... Charlieclown is in the lead on the Jamhole donate leader board. Our server bill is due, so if you wanna help out with that, hit up the donate page. Thanks! Another problem with oil going places it shouldn't. At least it's just Utah right? Nice job Chevron! Because of this, we now ownnbsp;Afghanistan. I called that shit! Is the war worth it now? Of course not, but it's a good start. I'm so hungry, it's either my brother, or his hamster. His AmHamster. Thank you. I can't believe he microwaved it. That's just going to dry it all out. Hot pockets! Does anyone remember Joe Cartoon? Drinking your OWN pee pee, to cover up the fact that you were doing drugs. That's not quite how it works, but you get an A for effort. Return of the diaper boy! I swear, I was just trying to show the kids it was ok to wear diapers. I was doing it for the kids! Toddler sized pampers are where it's at! The week after pill. I'm in! This is more like Pla... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2041 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2041#comments Sat, 12 Jun 2010 04:35:42 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2041 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2041 0 72:25 "You mean to tell me you've never stuck your dick in anbsp;vacuum?" So it looks like our little town has started it's transformation to becoming a ... "You mean to tell me you've never stuck your dick in anbsp;vacuum?" So it looks like our little town has started it's transformation to becoming a little city. How do you know that your village or town is now a city? Duh, it has a super walmart opening up in it. That's right folks, we have finally made it to the big time. I think what excites me most about this super walmart opening is that I'll finally get my chance to participate in the internet made famous site People of Walmart. I've been a fan of this site (both on facebook, and IRL), and I've always been a little dissapointed that we only had a normal walmart. Don't get me wrong, walmart is walmart, and people are fat and disgusting, wearing clothes they shouldn't have ever purchased, but there is a certain mystical allure to a super walmart that really brings the freaky freaks out of the wood work... and let me tell you a little something about the kind of people that come out of the wood work here. Let's just say there isn't a single one of them that should be allowed to reproduce. The funny thing is, that's pretty much all these people do. Get drunk, have sex, pop out a baby, and increase the welfare check, wash and repeat. They are going to be in for a wicked rude awakening when the welfare runs out and they realize that having babies isn't really a job. At least not one that pays actual spendable money. Your girlfriend might be a redneck if... Yep, Danni is a redneck for sure. Don't try and deny it. The difference between nerds and geeks. Geeks like sci-fi, nerds role play sci-fi. Thank you Danni for telling Shaun about my jerk off schedule. It is very important I adhere to a rigorous jerk off schedule, otherwise I become extremely unsatisfied and will then turn into a raging DICKHEAD. I have to get up the earliest, so the tired excuse doesn't count. Until you have to be up before me, I don't ever want to hear you are tired and that's why you won't fuck me. Let's rationalize this a little more. An update with the Littles! They had babies, and are now having a siesta. I think Shaun gave them the wrong pills. Easy mistake. D-Con and Viagra are both blue pills, so now we have rats with raging boners who can't stop fucking. Lovely... Do you remember the Osbournes? Their children are living proof that musical talent is NOT genetic. In other news, Kelly has a large shit problem in her mansion. Untalented shit attracts untalented shit right? Shaun has pneumonia, and god knows what else. If you get me sick, I will allegedly kill you in your sleep. Kelly and Danni love taking to Twitter to tell the world how unhappy they are. Fucking attention whores. Every good show needs a laugh track... That's all. So after the rat poison kills the littles, genocide style, what happens to the dead bodies? I'm really looking forward to that stinking up the house. Is it possible for rats to become immune to D-con? We haven't had a story like this since episode 5! Busted trying to have sex with a vacuum. Oh yea, and he was a childnbsp;molesternbsp;also. Oh yea, and he's 94 years old. Fuck yea! Shaun then shares his penis / vacuum story. Thank you Shaun, you are an integral part of the Jamhole. I'm horny, any ladies wanna have some sex, email info@thejamhole.com... Better yet, email mat@ees.com instead. It's much safer that way. A sex offender bludgeoned his live in girlfriend to death, with a baseball bat because of another man. This story almost hits close to home. Did I mention he is 48 and she's 28? That's a good ratio. This is why it's dangerous to send 17 year old girls pictures of your genitalia. Especially when you are 23 and her daddy owns a taser, and a shotgun. According to Shaun, 18 and 19 year old girls are the horniest girls on the planet. Note to self... Why do guys think it's fun to show each other their dicks? Not saying that I'm into that or anything, just saying that it's weird. Do Canadian guys do that too? Shaun shows us how to prop... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2037 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2037#comments Thu, 10 Jun 2010 04:30:53 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2037 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2037 0 73:56 "Chris Hanson, you really dropped the fucking ball on this one." Have you seen this news story yet? It appears the wife of tv "personality" Larry ... "Chris Hanson, you really dropped the fucking ball on this one." Have you seen this news story yet? It appears the wife of tv "personality" Larry King has tried to kill herself. I use the quotes around personality because if you have ever seen this guy do his job, it's almost as painful as watching Andy Rooney try to remember something. Both of these ancient tv talking heads have jumped the shark on multiple occasions, starting over thirty years ago. So according to the article, when the paramedics went into her room to treat her, they found empty pill bottles for Ambien, Klonopin, and Clonazepam. What I find odd is that Klonopin is the name brand of Clonazepam, so why did she have both versions of the medicine? Also, if you mix Ambien with any benzodiazapine, it should pretty much shut down your whole system, unless you have a wicked strong tolerance built up. I'm very amazed that she actually made it. So in the article they talk about how Shawn King has been suffering from depression for quite some time now, and I find it very interesting that a long term side effect of benzodiazepine use is depression. Hmm, interesting right? Perhaps the pills she tried to kill herself with, were the cause of her depression the whole time. Isn't it ironic, don't you think? Then again, one of the major side effects of being married to a 76 year old Larry King is also severe depression. I mean seriously, if you had to wake up next to that ray of fucking sunshine every morning, you'd probably want to kill yourself too. I mean sure he has lots of money, but in this case, money can't buy happiness. Hey weird creepy neighbor, you gots beef my whole crew gots beef. What would you like to do about it? Oh, you want to tattle on us? Nice adult, no wonder you have diabetes. If your dog barks at us, we WILL bark right back. Shaun got a job doing some cougar maintenance... If you know what I mean. Nice work Shaun! In other news, he might die in the next couple days. We will donate his body to medical science. Threesome Watch 2010 update! No one has slept yet. The OCD Project, may be my new favorite reality tv show. My name is Mat, and if I don't jerk off at least twice a day, I will die. I'm saving the world by being a weird neurotic fuck. I guess some of us grow out of it. The newest oil spill update, they have now found massive amounts of Methane gas underwater. Well that fucking stinks, thanks BP! You have just created Hexxus from Ferngully. The newest war tactic to come out ofnbsp;Afghanistan. If you can bomb us, we can give you AIDS. This is what happens when you start a war with people who have absolutely nothing to lose, and you turn it into a religious war. Nice work all around everyone! Shaun attacks a lady with a dildo over ownership of a stupid fucking dog. What a weird coincidence. Have you met Apso, my Lhasa Apsa? Well, he's dead now, but I think you would have liked him. Can I show you my creepy gimp mask? Lesbians raise the most well behaved kids. Why you might ask? Becausenbsp;lesbians will straight up spank the shit out of a kid. That's why. Performing an at home abortion with a lead pencil, because you are 13 and your "boyfriend" is 30. What a wonderful world we live in. Where was Chris Hanson when you need him? Don't tase me bro! Until I finish having butt sex at least. This guy was such a bad ass, he yanked out the barbs, so they hit him with it again. If you resist arrest, expect to be tased bro. If anyone has any reason why these two humans should not get married, speak now, or show us your genitalia! This fool was ON A BOAT!!! This is why I will never be a cop, among other reasons, you have to deal with people throwing shit at you. Fuck that shit. If you enjoy the show, send us a postcard from where you live, or donate some cash. If you can't do that, at least help spread the word. You can also leave a message at 406.204.4687, or email info@thejamhole.com. Check out episode 3 of the Hot Box podc... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2033 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2033#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 04:45:30 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2033 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2033 0 76:25 "I regret not pulling her tits out too, I really do." Here is an interesting survey for you that shows one in five U.S. high school ... "I regret not pulling her tits out too, I really do." Here is an interesting survey for you that shows one in five U.S. high school students abuse prescription drugs. I'm glad I got that phase of my life over and done with over a decade ago, but I still feel sorry for any one who has to go through the hell that is opiate detox. Sure there is medicine and other therapies that can make it a little more tolerable, but, speaking from experience, this is something that will stick with you for the rest of your life. So this survey questioned 16,000 teens and found that 20.2 percent have taken prescription drugs such as Oxycontin, Xanax, and Ritalin without a prescription. Of course, they won't really experience any major problems unless they use the harder opiates like Oxycontin, Dilaudid or Fentanyl for at least a couple of weeks straight, but you have to remember, everyone is different, and these drugs affect everyone differently. I always think I should try and talk to the kids I see around here, about how, if they keep fucking with these drugs, they are going to seriously regret it and completely ruin their lives, but then I think back to when I was their age doing it, and if someone came up to me preaching about how drugs are bad and all that shit, I never would have listened to them. So you have to learn by experience, and just hope that if these kids do end up getting hooked on it, they have a strong enough parental support structure, they are able to beat it and get their lives back. What really blows my mind about this whole opiate prescription drug epidemic, is that the doctors who arenbsp;inadvertentlynbsp;putting these drugs on the streets, are limited to how many patients they can treat with Suboxone. Suboxone gave me my life back, and without it, I for sure wouldn't be where I'm at now. The problem is, the pain clinic doctors can have as many patients as they can fit into an eight hour day hooked on opiates, but they have a cap on how many patients they can treat with Suboxone. It seems very backwards to me, and this is one of the reasons we read about pharmacies getting robbed each and every day. Some pharmacies have even decided to stop selling Oxycontin, because they keep getting robbed. So, what do you? Increase the resources alotted for treatment, start treating it like a social problem rather than a criminal problem, and maybe you will start seeing some improvement. But, until that happens, people are going to keep being junkies, and kids are going to keep getting hooked on these pills. Good luck! If it's too much information, then stop reading it. Simple right? Shaun got fucked out of his "Helena construction job" so he will be begging for his dishwasher job back. If you can donate some cash to buy us some smokes, that would be greatlynbsp;appreciated. Once again, you didn't have the equipment you told us you had. I even brought mics and cords this time, but your shitty mixer doesn't handle xlr. What the fuck DJ's? All in all, the jello wrestling was pretty fun... Once it finally got started. You brought your babies to your high school graduation? That's so fucking tacky. Drop them off at the day care for fucks sake. At least we won't have any shortage of dumb blonde secretaries any time soon. Next time you do jello wrestling, make sure you have girls to wrestle. And if I may, please set a weight limit. Shaun made the night completely worth it by wrestling the bartender with the fat ass and tits. Good stuff. Is this sumo wrestling? Oh no, they are just fat Indian chicks. God bless the reservation. Welcome to Threesome Watch 2010. All this talk about threesomes is making Danni really super horny, so lucky me! Any girls down to have sex with us, email mat@ees.com. Don't email info@thejamhole.com unless you want Danni to hunt you down. I have to present it to her a certain way. With pills that will make her forget the last 24 hours. Yes, I accidentally groped Shaun's ass, my bad. Stop wearin... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2029 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2029#comments Sat, 05 Jun 2010 06:00:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2029 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2029 0 94:46 "Invite her over and fuck her." Have you ever heard of scareware? Well I hadn't either until today. I've heard of what the new term is ... "Invite her over and fuck her." Have you ever heard of scareware? Well I hadn't either until today. I've heard of what the new term is doing, I was just unaware they gave it a stupid name like scareware. Basically if you use a computer at all, you've probably run into some scareware at some point and time. It's that little "official installed program" looking box that pops up when you're checking out content that may not necessarily be deemed socially acceptable in some circles, that says WARNING, YOUR COMPUTER IS FUCKED. I'm paraphrasing of course, but you get the idea. If people knew what the fuck antivirus program they were using, you would realize that this pop up looks nothing like it. But since people are on autopilot most of the time, or they just don't care, scams like this work, and they work well. Microsoft has said they have already cleaned nearly 8 million computers with their Malicious Software Removal Tool. Hey Microsoft, if you didn't make such an easily exploitable operating system in the first place, we wouldn't have near the problems we have. I blame you, and the idiots that are clicking on this shit enabling it to spread like herpes in a frat house. They should have named it suckaware or foolware or better yet, pwndware, because the second your brain kicks into over drive running through all the differentnbsp;possibilitiesnbsp;of consequences you may end up facing because of the nasty fucked up shit you were looking at online, you click the button, and before you know it, you're making deals with the devil to make sure no one finds out how much you suck at the Internet while the virus is taking over your system. Again, this is borderline social engineering at it's finest. The greatest part about it, is that you probably didn't have a virus or trojan on your computer to begin with until you clicked that fake antivirus message. Then on top of that, some people are actually giving this scareware their credit card information. You just paid to get your computer hacked and completely fucked up, how does it feel? I think the "powers that be" should code up some scareware of their own, but instead of scamming you out of money, it sends a message back to headquarters, and depending on if you clicked the fake pop up or not, decides if you are allowed to use computers anymore. Might as well make it a multi purpose application, and if you clicked on it, you also lose yournbsp;privilegenbsp;to reproduce, and drive. Three birds, one stone. You should watch the podcast live if you can, we added a third cam for the guests. Let us also welcome Shaun back to the show. He'll probably be on a little more often, seeings how he now lives with us. Danni had her first day at work, and from the sound of it, she missed it. A little friendly room mate bickering that goes to a very horrible place. We alsonbsp;interruptnbsp;the fuck out of Danni. She loves it, although she pretends she hates it. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? It's good to be the boss, because that means you don't have to clean up the mess at the end of the night. Danni makes a good boss. With all the high profile break ups happening, we hired a live in counselor. Actually, he will be paying us to live here, but he will be counseling us on our sex life. I wish I was a fan of this show at this point and time, because I have a feeling it's about to get good. The real reason Shaun moves in is so he can bum smokes on a more regular basis. I like my obscure inappropriate humor, so go fuck yourself. Shaun outlines the finer points of love. It's basically one of the biggest scams in the world. I see why everyone is doing it. Charlieclown calls in with a question about love. What is the next step after sexting? Skype video calls of course! Duh! Forward those pictures to info@thejamhole.com Shaun begged for a job, got the job, then quit his first day. I have a feeling he's probably going to regret that. Especially if his construction job d... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2024 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2024#comments Thu, 03 Jun 2010 06:00:55 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2024 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2024 0 82:14 "This is the longest I've been with somebody and not felt like cheating on them." I'm very tired today, and I've been writing quite a bit ... "This is the longest I've been with somebody and not felt like cheating on them." I'm very tired today, and I've been writing quite a bit for show notes the last few episodes, so I'm going to chill and let our slower readers catch up. Plus, I'm tired as fuck and I gotta do some hip hop tonight up at Grizzly Jacks. By the way, for my own curiosity, how many of you read the show notes cover to cover? I'm just curious. I see that we get really good traffic to the site, but out of all the people going to the site, how many of you are actually reading the show notes? Do me a favor, and if you read the notes at least once a week, send me a quick email to info@thejamhole.com that just says something like: Yes, I read the notes. That's all. Just something to satisfy my curiosity. Thank you for being so awesome. Danni was looking extra sexy tonight. I wonder why I want to fuck all the time. I blame her. If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair. Not a bumper sticker a straight male should have on their vehicle. Huge props and mad respect to both Keith and Chemda. It takes a certain special something to break up with the love of your life for around seven years, and still be able to do a talk show five days a week like nothing happened. That's fucking tough, and I have a new found respect for both of them because of this. All the best to you both, even if your still hating. Oh and hey, Danni is still waiting for her apology. Does your girlfriend not like to fuck as much as you do? Well fear no more, we have an answer. It's called Flibanserin, and it is basically all of my prayers answered. If you are a doctor, hook it up! We'll run a trial of our own. What makes you cheat on yournbsp;significantnbsp;other? For one, they were gamers. Gamers make the worse significantnbsp;others ever! I'll go and watch you fish if you sit and watch me code. Fun isn't it? We're only with each other because there isn't fuck else out there. We are the last two fish in the sea, and yes, I will get sick of you eventually. How long it takes for that to happen is up to you and your sex drive. Marriage is an old dying tradition, kind of like listening to the radio or reading an actual newspaper. Hey, do you remember back in the day when we used to read our news off of dead trees? What cavemen we used to be! In case you didn't already know, cocaine is bad for you. Especially the lame ass shit they try to pass off as cocaine now a days. Cocaine today will make your skin rot away. Thank you greedy piece of shit drug dealers. We are all fucked, and the world is coming to an end. Bring on the grasshopper plague! Sad kittens only get worse when they fuck with my video games. This is why you do NOT date gamers! Big trouble in the Porn Valley area of California. Where did you get that awesome sword like movie prop? Is that shit double ended? Nice... Good thing they weren't established porn stars. Be wary of a man named Tom Dong. She talked too much, so I smacked the shit out of her, that's why I got fired from Hu-Hot. Look around, if you don't keep the pimp hand strong, shit like this happens. Thank you all for hanging out with us, if you enjoy the show, donate some cash or tell a friend at the very least. We'll see you Friday! podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2020 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2020#comments Tue, 01 Jun 2010 05:40:29 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2020 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2020 0 76:06 "This is the top shelf, you have the junk." I've got a couple things I would like to write about today. First of all, for some ... "This is the top shelf, you have the junk." I've got a couple things I would like to write about today. First of all, for some reason, I have a hard time understanding how a couple's divorce makes the front page of my Google news feed. I understand that as nbsp;human beings, we love hearing about other human beings' problems, especially when they are worse than our own problems. But seriously, is this really news worthy, let alone front page news worthy? So the couple I'm referring to is Al and Tipper Gore. Apparently they are calling it quits after forty years of marriage. In my opinion, the headline should be about how a political couple like that has managed to stay married for as long as they did. There is way too many hot sexy secretaries walking around these government offices, trying to tempt those in charge to put a penis in their mouth. Anyways, I love the quote they used in the article. The Gores said, "This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further." Ok, the Gore's are asking for privacy, yet they are the ones who sent the email regarding their separation. Umm, duh? Honestly, I'm surprised it lasted this long, I would have imagined if they were going to get a divorce, it would have been after Al Gore was made a fool in the famous South Park episode way back in April of 2006 entitled "Man Bear Pig." I also find it quite amusing that as government officials, they are supposed to honor the sanctity of marriage, yet it's the government officials who seem to corrupt it the most. If this kind of shit is allowed to happen, just shut the fuck up and let the gays marry. The second article I wanted to briefly write about is this lady who is trying to sue Google because her walking directions caused a car crash. Are you fucking serious? I love how the article starts out by asking a simple question. "If Google Maps walking directions told you to walk along a major highway, would you comply?" First of all, unless you are in a major metropolis where driving a car is a huge pain in the ass, why the fuck are you walking? You own a blackberry mobile device, so I assume you can afford to drive right? So Lauren Rosenberg is suing Google because it gave her walking directions on a Utah highway, she adhered to those directions, and got hit by a car. If this isn't a perfect argument for the dumbing down of society, I don't know what is. People inadvertantly killed themselves because they thought it would be a good idea to use major electronics while in the bath tub, got the holy fucking shit shocked out of them, and now we have retarded warning labels that say not to put large electronic appliances in a body of water you might be sitting in. If people had even the simplest understanding of how electricity works, they would know better. So besides trying to sue one of the most well off companies in the free world, what do you think Lauren Rosenberg is going to accomplish by this? Well, if she wins, you can expect to see even bigger more annoying warning screens on applications that weren't designed to give EXACT directions to begin with. If you've ever used any Google Maps based application, it clearly states that these are recommendations, not exact directions. I've never used Google Maps on a Blackberry device, which is what she was using, but I've used it on the Iphone, Android, and Windows computing systems, and I have always seen a warning. I remember thinking back to myself, why would they put such a stupid useless warning on this program. Well, now I have my answer. Because there are people mindlessly roaming this planet on autopilot, and if an application tells them to do something or go somewhere, they are going to do it without using any of that COMMON SENSE that comes built in to our own brain mind software. I mean seriously... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2016 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2016#comments Sat, 29 May 2010 02:00:55 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2016 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2016 0 87:31 "If it's gay to like a tighter hole, then sign up me sailor." Do you all remember a while ago, when we were talking about drawnbsp;Muhammad ... "If it's gay to like a tighter hole, then sign up me sailor." Do you all remember a while ago, when we were talking about drawnbsp;Muhammad day? Well, the results are in. Apparently enough people took part in this fun little Facebook group game to warrant a nasty letter from the king ofnbsp;Muhammadnbsp;land himself, and when I saynbsp;Muhammadnbsp;land, I mean these third world countries who have their heads jammed so far up their prophets ass, they let the poop do all of the important decision making. I just now did a quick search for the draw Muhammad day Facebook group, but it has apparently been removed. In it's place are a bunch of groups who want people to stop making fun of Muhammad, stop drawing Muhammad as a cartoon, ban South Park because they used a cartoon Muhammad, stop the draw Muhammad day, and the list goes on. I have to say, and I'm sure it's been said before, but if your greatnbsp;almightynbsp;religiousnbsp;prophet gets a little butt hurt or has a serious problem with people drawing him, then you have a weak ass pussy prophet and probably way bigger problems on your hands. I mean seriously what the fuck Islam? You wonder why you live like fucking animals, with fucking animals, (some of you are fucking animals), because you are all so scared of someone making fun of your stupid little prophet, that you haven't the time to take care of the more important areas of Maslow'snbsp;hierarchynbsp;of needs. It's like you went a little weak on the basicnbsp;survival and safetynbsp;needs only to go way out of control on the spiritual needs, then just stopped there. Glad to see that's working out well for you. Sonbsp;basicallynbsp;we have a large group of people who can barely keep themsleves alive, who's only worry in the world is that people make fun of theirnbsp;prophetnbsp;by drawing stupid cartoons of him. Do you realize how ridiculous your lives sound to us? VERY! You should be concerned with the fact that it's the year 2010 and you are still living like it's the dark ages. See kids, this is what happens when you put all of your trust and hope in anbsp;deitynbsp;that is doesn't actually exist. If you had such a powerful deitynbsp;who loved you and watched over you, younbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;be living like such filthy pigs. I understand the whole humble yourself before god thing, but fuck guys, even the humble people aren't living in their own piss and shit. I feel bad for you, for a split second, until I remember that you are like this by your own design. You chose to live like this in hopes that when you die you will get to fuck a bunch of virgins or something. I don't know exactly how the story goes, but I'm sure it's something along those lines. Why else would a bunch of men live like a bunch of animals like that? Duh, because they are promised a bunch of hot tight ass poon when they die. What a silly religion. Dana takes the night off to pick her uncle up from Missoula. He has some heart problems. But hey, who doesn't? Anyways, a huge thanks to Shaun aka Lyrickal for hosting the show with me. Let's talk about Shaun's Facebook relationship status. Some things were never meant to be. If you are an adult and you play farmville, you should feel ASHAMED of yourself. Here is the group about hating farmville, so go farkle yourself. He wasn't lying. This lady was balls deep in some fucking farmville. How bad are you going to feel when a virus infects your whole computer network. All because you had to play farmville. I finally found the line, and the line is "The Human Centipede." In other news, I went back in for round two, we'll talk about it on tonight's show. You know how you gotta deal with these hoes. Gotta keep the pimp hand strong. If you are interested in a bunch of white British pimps, check out the documentary "PIMP." Don't go by the IMDB ratings, this is really a cool fucking movie. This just goes to show you, can't make a hoe a housewife. It will end up killing you. Does anyone read the van... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2012 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2012#comments Thu, 27 May 2010 04:00:02 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2012 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2012 0 80:05 "Not forever, just until you get back up your strength." This is the second day in a row I've seen the tech headline about a guy ... "Not forever, just until you get back up your strength." This is the second day in a row I've seen the tech headline about a guy who got infected with a computer virus. Ok, so at first glance, it sounds pretty sci fi right? But once you read the actual article, you quickly realize that the writer is just solidifying a notion that, once we fully integrate computer technology into our lives, we are going to face the same problems we currently face with viruses, malware, and probably spam. The only difference is, when your computer gets infected with one of these lovely little problems, the computer can, for the most part, be fixed easily. Sure, depending on what kind of problem the computer is having, and how that problem came to manifest itself, the end user will have to face a little responsiblenbsp;embarrassment, and of course, a nice little bill. But, when you look at how computers are being merged with our lives in a more ubiquitous light, common sense rings the bells and alarms that this might cause some serious problems. As we allow computers to run more and more of our day to day lives, these problems will become quite serious. Sure, having a computer on your desk that's infected with a virus is quite annoying, but all you have to do is unplug the ethernet cable, and the virus is basically rendered inoperative. Of course, depending on the virus, it can wreak some havoc on the computer system itself even to the point of rendering the computer itself inoperative, but again, unless that computer remains hooked up to other important infrastructure, nothing that bad is going to happen. Now, take that same scenario, but instead of the target being a computer sitting on your desk, it's the computer that control's your vehicle, or your pace maker, or eventually, perhaps even parts of your mind and body. Imagine, as they talk about in the article, that we reach a point in society where everyone has a computer chip implanted inside their hand that controls access to security permissions at your office, all of your identity information, your bank information, communications, health information, or anything else we will allow computers to do for us. Imagine if that infected chip was controlling your pace maker, or your hearing aid, or your memory implants. If those devices we trusted enough to implant inside our bodies in the first place, end up getting infected by some nasty computer virus, the results could be quite fatal. nbsp;The further down this technological rabbit hole we tumble, the more interconnectedness we experience between our flesh and bone and our computer technology, the more these little problems are going to have extremely large, and possibly even fatal consequences. As the scientists demonstrated in theirnbsp;experiment, it is very easy for a well written virus to transfer itself from the infected chip, via the wireless air waves, into the computers they communicate with. Once there they spread like wild fire causing major headaches for the I.T. crowd. So like I said, once your pace maker or memory implants get infected, it's not like you can just do a simple format and recover. I just hope that by the time this happens, we have developed some sort of quantum computing firewall antivirus solution that will make writing viruses almost obsolete. Unless of course we end up with a quantum virus of some sort. But, by the time that happens, it's going to be far too late to do anything about it. Prevention in this case, really is the best medicine. Good luck humanity! I have a feeling we're going to need it. Oh man, who remembers the Arsenio Hall show? I blame that show for every black rapper who thinks he's a dog. Thank you for your contribution. If you don't know, the first episode of the Hot Box podcast is up. This is our sister podcast all about marijuana. You can watch live shows every Tuesday at hotboxpodcast.com/live. Thanks to everyone who showed up for the live show! It was a blast. Hey mister p... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2007 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2007#comments Tue, 25 May 2010 05:30:31 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2007 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2007 0 72:09 "There is no now here." For someone who hasn't owned a television set top box in the better part of a decade, I still enjoy watching ... "There is no now here." For someone who hasn't owned a television set top box in the better part of a decade, I still enjoy watching the shows that air over the cable waves. I prefer to ingest my visual entertainment in as much of an ad free environment as possible. I find the advertisements, if given enough time, start to condition ones mind in a negative way. I don't like anything created by another person for the goal of influencing my mind in any way, shape or form. Of course, living in the modernized, globally networked meta connected world we live in today, it's pretty much impossible to avoid. Because of this, I find it very important to take control and make changes before they get a chance to, whenever possible. So two of the shows I have been watching for a while have come to an end. I consider myself a fan or at the very least, a viewer of the following shows that have been on lately. This is not a paid for plug by any means, it is simply fact. 24, Lost, Heroes, CSI Vegas, The Tudors, The Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, South Park, Weeds, Aqua Teen, American Dad, Stargate Universe, The Boondocks, Dexter, Mad Men, Little Britain, Metalocalypse, Sanctuary, Tim and Eric, True Blood, and The Venture Bros. Holy fuck, looking at this list, I'm blown away I have enough time to keep up with all of these shows. Then again, in this modernized world we have helped create for ourselves, we have amazing utilities that allow viewing whenever I want. Anyways, like I was saying, two of the shows I have been watching have now come to an end. Lost ended after six seasons, and you can hear my thoughts on this episode of the Jamhole. I think I said everything that needed to be said about Lost. On the other hand, I would like to mention a couple things about 24. Jack Bauer is basically the new John Wayne in my opinion. He is every backwoods redneck's wet dream of what a real man should be. I personally know people like this who actually watch 24 while playing with a hand gun. It's like back in the day when I was a kid and Transformers was a cartoon rather than a shitty over cgi'd, under written movie, I would watch with eager eyes while playing with my favorite Transformer. No, Transformer isn't a double entendre for my cock, I would actually watch Transformers while playing with a Transformer toy. Remember, this was a time when toys were made out of metal and lead based paint, rather than todays shitty cheaply made plastic toys with lead paint. So in a way, I can kind of see where they are coming from, but just picture this if you will. A grown ass man sitting on the couch, eyes glazed over staring at Jack Bauer on the screen, wishing they were him in every way, caressing a .45 desert eagle while going over in their minds all of the awesome things they would do if they were more like Jack Bauer. I guess getting a divorce isn't exactly what Jack Bauer would do, but whatever. (That's an inside joke that only one or two of you will understand). Anyways, 24 seems like it basically takes every American american's worst fears and brings it to light in beautiful HD digital glory. Everything always comes down to the wire so to speak, and of course, almost every episode has to end with a shy;cliff hanger leading into the next. I dig it, but I'm a fan of large scale tragedy in the form of nuclear and biological war. But honestly, what kind of show like this can really go on for more than a few seasons without starting to recycle plot points? There's only so many terrorist plots you can have Jack save the world from before you start just filming seasons of him torturing and killing people over silly shit like tracking mud in the house. It had a good run, and I'm glad they didn't over stay their welcome too much. Now, a show like Stargate Atlantis should have gone on well past the five seasons it did, and don't even get me started on Firefly. Well, thanks for reading, I have to finish 24 now and then get ready for the f... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=2002 http://thejamhole.com/?p=2002#comments Sat, 22 May 2010 06:55:00 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=2002 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=2002 0 79:11 "After the two fucking douche bags left, the party happened." So I'm going to do the "I'm tired cop out" thing and write about something completelynbsp;irrelevant ... "After the two fucking douche bags left, the party happened." So I'm going to do the "I'm tired cop out" thing and write about something completelynbsp;irrelevant silly and unrelated to anyone's life, yet something that connects a lot of us. Of course I'm talking about Lost ending. That's right, as I'm writing this, a very legal download of electrons in the forms of a 1 0 binary code are flowing from the internet to a computer under my control. The epic Lost finale has no doubt already aired in most civilized parts of the world, and I'm sure by now, the numbersnbsp;are starting to come in. I speak of the death toll numbers, the suicide numbers, the murder death kill numbers that are turning into a tidal wave of destruction all due to this one single show, ending so fucking bad. Bad as in bad to the bone Michael Jackson probably touched children bad. Not bad as in super bad or bad dudes bad. This is just another sign that points to the imminent doom and fall of society we all face. It has been written in the ancient prophecy, "A show will appear on television that will captivate the audience's imagination in complete and utter wonder, but then, when the season finale airs six seasons later, there will be a mass exodus of order and goodness because of how bad it will suck. This will usher in the fall of humanity." So sayeth the ancient prophecy. Of course, I could be totally wrong, and of course, this is all idle speculation. But I'm telling you what, coming from the lips (or finger tips) of someone who was kind of into Lost when it first started, I'm expecting a "Fuck You" of epic proportions. I stopped watching lost in the fifth season when they started jumping through time and space with the island. I gave it a couple of chances to stop jumping through time and get it's shit together, but it seemed like the show just stopped giving a fuck. But then, when I heard that season six was going to be the last season, and this was going to finally come to an end somehow, I had to start watching again. Of course I didn't go back to finish what episodes I may have missed back in season five, but I get what's going on. So I'll take one for the team and finish up this series, then we'll talk about it on the Monday podcast. If there even is a Monday... Be careful out there. What if I yawn right before I "Kaboom?" What if I yawn when I'm up there rapping? Good morning everyone! Shaun aka Lyrickal tries to explain why he sucked at rapping on Thursday. Have you heard of thisnbsp;Karaokenbsp;he speaks of? Show of hands, how many of you went to the Soundsoft Winamp School of Dj? Shaun tries to rationalize his court problems. You should just stick to rapping, and maybe stop drinking so much. That's just my opinion, because I care about you. This is why you should refuse anbsp;Breathalyzer. Cmon guys, wasn't that good? Please beg the audience for more applause, on my behalf. You fucking weirdo. It was a good time overall. I howled with the dog. Hey old dude, that's a pretty fat wad of one dollar bills you have there. What does "Make it rain" mean? Just forget it... Booty butt booty butt booty butt cheeks! We all feel bad for any lady who has to put on that much makeup just to leave the house, and for any guy who ends up taking her home. Bar lighting is a sneaky bitch. If you have one, you don't need much of the other. Danni isn't allowed to get into any fights, until she gets health insurance. Ok Shaun, what did this hoe do to you? Shaun gets busted looking at porn on my computer. So who's telling you about Shaun's dick? If you keep putting off your court date, you'll never have to attend it. Brilliant idea! I'm leaning towards not guilty, but I'm still not completely sure. Could you imagine your court experience involving two inches of inmate fecal matter? It hasn't happened in quite a while, so we're pretty thankful. You are getting ripped off on the price of the muffin monster. Hey local radio station, playing ... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1998 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1998#comments Thu, 20 May 2010 06:35:06 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1998 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1998 1 84:13 "You owe me an apology." Some, if not most people will agree that we are facing some pretty tough times right now. The economy is crap, ... "You owe me an apology." Some, if not most people will agree that we are facing some pretty tough times right now. The economy is crap, people are struggling to live paycheck to paycheck, assuming you even have a job. Unemployment rates are higher than they have been in quite some time. The nation is divided between the left wing crazy people and the right wing crazy people. It seems like common sense to me that if you want to get things done and make the world a better place, you have to work together rather than against each other. Having the country split up into different categorical belief systems only makes more problems in my opinion. As soon as you split people up, you create unrest within the society. If everyone could just be a human being, rather than having to classify themselves as being a republican or a democrat, a baptist or a catholic, a black person or a white person, I think we would be doing alright. If Stargate Atlantis has taught me one thing, it's that we are all members of the same species, regardless of what color we are, or what planet we live on, and if we are going to defeat the wraith threat, we have to work together. Granted we face problems greater than just the impending wraith attack, or the internal disruption I'm talking about here, but if you have a good foundation to start with, whatever you decide to build will, for the most part, stand the test of time. The ancients have taught us that. I also believe that as soon as the powers that be brainwashed society into thinking the whole point of life was to get as much money and material possessions as possible in the timenbsp;allotted, and fuck everyone else, you created a huge problem. Now, instead of people working together with their neighbors tonbsp;achievenbsp;a common goal, they are working against each other, trying to get as much shit as they can, destroying everyone and everything in their path. Granted, the majority of people are, for some mysterious reason, intrinsically pulled toward being greedy and selfish, but I believe that is a problematic bi-product of hundreds of years of conditioning and subtle brainwashingnbsp;generouslynbsp;provided vianbsp;advertisementsnbsp;and propaganda by the government and those who fund them. So what do we do? Either we can continue to live trapped in a blue dream created by those who have been corrupted by the power, or we can unplug ourselves. Turn the tv off, turn the internet on, and keep an open mind. Put your trust in science and logical thinking rather than blind faith and outdated belief systems. Think for yourself, and listen to the Jamhole. The rest will fall into place. It's been a blast bringing you 350 episodes of the Jamhole. Thank you for being with us for so long, and we look forward to bringing you 350 more. If you want to check out our first live audience show for episode 250, go to thejamhole.com/250. You can purchase the full movie at the Jamhole store. Redfox calls in and tells us how awesome we are! Thanks Redfox! Let's talk about a little podcast drama, between us and an unnamed podcast that I'm sure you all are familiar with. You owe Danni an apology, and you know who you are. If you can't take a fucking joke, then what's the point? Don't be mad at us because you are over 35 years old and you can't tell your parents what you do for a living. That is NOT our fault. It was all in good fun, until you made it not fun. I was out of line with the emails to the reporter, but like I said, it was all in good fun. Calm the fuck down and apologize to Danni so we can all move on with our lives. Love us or hate us, you have to give us props for doing what we have done with the show. 350 episodes later and still going strong. Bangkok is burning! Now where will all the rich white men go to have sex with little Asian boys? Perhaps they could go to church BAZINGA!!! Thank you Sandy! Five recession proof jobs. In these oh so tough economic times, you might need a second j... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1994 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1994#comments Tue, 18 May 2010 05:30:50 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1994 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1994 0 65:45 "Are we talkin' Wraith rape?" You know the world is truly coming to an end when things like this happen. Not only the fact that it ... "Are we talkin' Wraith rape?" You know the world is truly coming to an end when things like this happen. Not only the fact that it happened, but that it was at the top of my google news entertainment section. Justin Beiber has been nominated for a black entertainment television award. Nominated for what? Cutest prison bitch of the year? I apologize, that was a racist thing to say. The kid is like sixteen years old, and apparently the Canadian symbol of idolatry at the moment. The first time I ever heard of Justin Beiber was from a fucking twitter trending topic. I kept seeing his name up there, so finally one day I was like who the fuck is this? I checked out his music, and sure the kid can sing, but the music was exactly like every other song on the radio or television today. Complete crap. They are fooling the fuck out of you, and you pay them to do it. It's the greatest business model ever! I don't usually write about "celebrities" but I really didn't have much else to write about, and this kind of blew my mind. It's really funny to me that out of all the music that's ever been made, either white or black, it ends up being some sixteen year old Canadian kid from Bumfuck Onatario that bridges the race gap with a bridge that neither Eminem, nor Jay Z could burn down. Then again, we're talking about B.E.T. here, which is owned by Viacom, which is owned by a bunch of rich white Jews. B.E.T. is for the "White" black people. It's like Wayne Brady or Obama. They are "white" black people. I guess it's only fair, considering we have no shortage of "black" white people. Especially up here in Kalispell. So yea, that's all I got for you. Back to work on the Hot Box. Oh right, here's the show notes... I am quite aware of my hair issue. Thank you. It's my father's fault. He's dead now, so I guess that'll teach him to give me shitty hair genes. Keep your eye out for the first episode of the Hot Box podcast. If you like weed, you'll probably want to listen to this. I'll give you the info as soon as the site is finished. If you want to help us finish the site, email info@thejamhole.com or peep the form on this page. The Hot Box is my own personal Jamhole. I remember why I don't do graphic design for a living. If you guys know where I can get a ZPM, holla at me. We are holding down Atlantis with everything we have. Which isn't much without a ZPM. ZPM stands for Zero Point Module, FYI. Fucking hive ships. Fuck I really wish star gates were real. Danni is starting to like pot again. Yay for me. Restless leg syndrome is a real thing, and it fucking sucks. Remind me again of what you caught when we went fishing? Oh right, NOTHING. :) Did you know Lyrickal is also a fitness trainer? We went running. Fuck running. I am not a big fan of the May fly. Don't let the car fool you, my treasure is in heaven. Have you ever had a Rape Dilema? Well the Congo is having one right fucking now. Good luck women. This is why your mother told you not to eat dirt when you were a kid. Mud pies for everyone! Danni tells us about her friend who used to eat chalk. Dirt should be worth more than gold. China is having even more problems. I think it's population control. They put something in the water that is making people go wild with the beaver cleaver cutting fools the fuck up. A man entered hymen city with a gun... And it was loaded. Oh yea, he also killed his bitch ass wife. Stabbing the bar owner for not turning it up. The jukebox that is. When the song says Turn It Up, it's best to do what the song says to do. Racking up a pretty sweet Verizon phone bill. Because they like to fuck you over when you pay for tethering. That's why we all recommend Pda Net. Google or Apple? Do you even have to ask? Leave a message at 406.204.4687. We'll see you Wednesday! Stalk us on all the usual sites, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace. podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1957 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1957#comments Sat, 15 May 2010 06:55:54 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1957 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1957 1 71:51 "I don't want to see you lick your own semen." Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you fromnbsp;love. Such ... "I don't want to see you lick your own semen." Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you fromnbsp;love. Such true words from the doctor of love himself, Leo Buscaglia. Leo was born in 1924, and I'm curious what it was like for him back in his prime, elegantly boning down on mid forties house wives, sneaking into their bedrooms mid day while husbands were at the office or factory bringing home the bread so to speak. Ah to be in your early twenties during the forties and fifties, experiencing everything life had to offer a young strapping lad back then. Godnbsp;dammit, smoking cigarettes was so fucking sexy back then. Now every time we light one up, people stare at us like we're smoking crack or something. Anyways, they had no shortage of war to keep everyone busy and the economy rising. It was an interesting time, especially when the threat of impending nuclear fallout was on the tip of everyone's tongues. For those twenty years, it seems like all you really read about in the history books (wikipedia) is the wars. It makes me wonder when people read about our history, if there will be the same amount of focus on war as there is when we read about previous times. I mean fuck, we're doing some pretty cool fucking shit technologically speaking, and I would be super pist if all that made it into the history books was the war in the middle east. So yea, if you haven't figured it out yet, I really don't have shit to write about, and I need to get some stuff taken care of for the marijuana podcast. We finally have a name for it. It's going to be called The Hot Box. Keep an eye out for episodes to start being released sometime in the next few weeks. I still have to theme the blog and create the pages, and finish the graphics, but we're very excited for this, and if you are into anything marijuana related, this will be the podcast for you. If you have some skills and some spare time you'd like to volunteer for the Hot Box, we could use some graphic / web design help. Just figured I would throw that out there, I know for a fact we have some really talented listeners. Email info@thejamhole.com if you are that person. Let me let you in on a little secret. We're just fucking with you. Figure it out. It's not our fault you guys like drama. It's human nature, I don't blame you. I don't think anyone knows what to believe now. That makes this that much more fun. Happy birthday to Lyrickal's sister. Thanks to everyone that came out and partied with us at the Palace. It was a blast. Doug writes in with a very heart felt letter. I'm sorry Doug. Fuck you Doug! Blame Danni, it was her idea. Dude, you actually made me feel bad. Since we are totally in a position to give other people relationship advice. Why the fuck not. I checked their facebook status today, and they broke up. You win some, you lose some. I'm just going to write rhymes while you're fishing. Charlie clown in the chat might be our tallest listener. If you think you can beat him, let us know. He makes me want to start a basketball team. Rapping at the Palace bar. We all had a good time, except at the end when the birthday girl got arrested. Apparently they released her a couple hours later, so that's good. Say no to drugs. Or at least to doing drugs in a wide open bathroom. God Fearing Women played some seriously funky shit at the Palace. Good times. I would love to make some hip hop with you guys playing live instruments. The freshest sex move in my sex repertoire. How did we end up on the floor? Because I'm just that smooth, that's how. When I cum I could give a fuck less if we keep fucking. Just so you know. We have so much content, we let Josh from Bigmouths borrow some. I want that back when you're done with it. We are a choose your adventure podcast. Joe was very insightful. Josh was very amusing. Did you know we recorded a live audience show for our 250th episode? Check it out here. It's only 5 bucks. For real, I did not... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1953 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1953#comments Thu, 13 May 2010 06:00:51 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1953 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1953 0 80:06 "I don't wish I was there, but thank you for the post card." Nothing is going all that well in the world, so why should my ... "I don't wish I was there, but thank you for the post card." Nothing is going all that well in the world, so why should my life be any better. I try to do what I feel in my heart to be right, but it rarely ever is. Perhaps I should start doing the opposite of what my heart tells me to do. I'll show him. Some people simply weren't meant to be together, but I don't think that's the case. Honestly, I have no idea what the case is, or what it contains. I don't know much of anything at the moment. Like I've reverted back to a simplistic form of autopilot. Eyes puffy, nose runny, contemplating exactly what the fuck has gone wrong this past week. Hindsight right? Yea, right... I don't know what to do. Is it right that I have to give up everything while she gives up nothing? Is it fair that I am willing to do anything she wants me to do for her, but that feeling is not passed back to me? I don't think it is, but that's how much I love her. I'm willing to give up my favorite thing just so I can be with her. But then I think about that, and it makes me upset. Why should I have to give up my favorite thing? I mean fuck, it's my favorite thing! I do everything I can to make her happy, whynbsp;doesn'tnbsp;she do the same? I guess if relationships were easy, everyone would have one. But still, I've never been one to just walk away from a challenge, the problem is we are both very stubborn people. Which goes back to my point about me making all the changes to suit her needs, and her not really changing much of anything to suit mine. But regardless of what happens, I love her with all my heart, or at least the pieces I've picked up off the floor and scraped off her shoe in order to glue back together into something that once, might have resembled my blood pumping organ. Hearts are very important, broken ones as well as whole ones. I heard a wise man once say, "Kid, you gotta have heart to make it in this world." Well no shit, if you don't have heart, you are basically nothing more than a lifeless zombie doomed to wander the world in an endless search for BRAINS! Wish us luck, and please feel free to send any and all comments on the matter to info@thejamhole.com. We would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. Thank you. We both apologize for missing a show. We have a pretty good track record of doing shows on a set schedule, but hey, sometimes shit happens. Let's pour out some non alcoholic liquor for the pingbot. He's once again relapsed. Let's be honest, we all kind of saw that coming. Android running on the iphone, and windows 95 running on the ipad. I said windows 98 on the podcast, that's my mistake. Windows 95 is much better right? That's not really something to be proud of. What does that say for the iphone OS? Keep the post cards coming! You can send them to our po box. Thank you Amham and Doug, and thank you to berger for sending us the awesome disguises. Well, everything was cool, then it was not cool, then it was cool again, and then it was not cool. As of right now, I have no idea about anything. I am a sex addict, and she doesn't really care about sex. So, what do we do now? I hate jerking off, especially when I have a girlfriend, but we all do things we don't want to do. I'm not going to say anything else about this, for fear that things will get even worse. You can just listen to the episode, form your own opinions, then send them to us. Or don't. There are seven days in a week. Pick at least three of those days to try and make your boyfriend / girlfriend sexually happy. They will thank you, trust me. Let's do a little risk management. What's the worst possible thing that could happen? In a relationship where two people are really in love with each other, there should be no shame, ever. What is the one thing in the world that man cannot do for themselves? It's probably for a good reason we can't suck our own dicks. If we could, nothing would ever get done. Check the show notes from episo... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1949 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1949#comments Sat, 08 May 2010 06:55:26 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1949 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1949 3 72:13 "When people stare at the sun, they go blind." Apparently, the best and brightest of our valley came out to the city library on last Thursday ... "When people stare at the sun, they go blind." Apparently, the best and brightest of our valley came out to the city library on last Thursday to watch a film entitled "Epic: The Story of the Waffen SS." It was probably nothing short of a klan meeting up in there, but there were some people who came out to protest it. The unfortunate thing is that most of the people who were protesting it, were doing so on behalf of the United Church of Christ. I only say that because the person coordinating the protest just so happens to be the pastor of said church. It's cool though, as long as they were out there protesting nazi's who decided the Flathead Valley would make a great place to call home, and not going door to door trying to con you into believing their fairytale, I'm ok with it. The classy gentleman who screens these works of world war two era neo nazi "art" was quoted as saying, "Itrsquo;s a fucking freak show, theyrsquo;re all the same queers and Jews and shit that were at the gay pride parade." This is a classic text book example of exactly why the world is completely ass backwards fucked up. It's people like this who live their day to day lives in the mind state that they are better than everyone else just because they just so happened to have the genes that make you white rather than genes that make you black. It's a fucking crap shoot younbsp;inbrednbsp;hidda hadda herdda speaking backwoods retards. You can't base any sort of societal status on a completely random event you had absolutely nothing to do with whatsoever. It's like saying I make more money than you just because I'm a dude and you're a chick. Ok wait a minute, that was a bad example, but you get what I'm saying. Anyways, do you want to know the funniest part about his whole mess? The paper says, "A scuffle broke out as the protesters took photos of some of the people entering and a womanrsquo;s camera was broken. Kalispell Police arrestednbsp;April Gaede and Mark Harrington for the incident, charging them both with assault and criminal mischief, misdemeanors, and led them out of the library in handcuffs." Do you all remember who April Gaede is? She is the mother of the Prussian Blue girls, and that woman we talked about a while ago who was on that stormfront website posting up shit about the valley so other unevolved white supremacists and white power ego freaks like herself can move up here. Pretty fucking amusing right? I guess it's true what they say, karma is a bitch. I'm sure the valley could do without people like this living here, so I think we should get together, and run them the fuck out of town, 1800's cowboy style. You know, just for fun. Let's give a huge round of applause for the pingbot! He's back, sober, and ready to post my shit. Welcome back pingbot, it just wasn't the same without you. A huge thanks to everyone who was rockin with us at the Scoreboard on Cinco de mayo. It was a blast. Just know that I was shitting myself about ten minutes before we rocked the mic. Thank goodness for the boy band effect. How many ways can you think of to download cool stuff on the internet? Even the cowboys can appreciate our Thursday night hip hop at Grizzly Jacks. In the dark? Follow the son! Thanks church. Some of us were born leaders, some of us are followers. Allegedly long boarding in town. I have great evaporative skills. Danninbsp;reenactsnbsp;scenes from the 2008 hit movie "College." What's a queef? It's a pussy fart. We welcome anyone who found the show from a google search of pussy fart. What's wrong China? It seems that every hour a Chinese baby is born with Syphilis. You guys should work on fixing that. So what are YOU allergic to? If you make fun of a guy for having a small penis, over and over again, you can probably expect a good solid beat down. Does it bother you that I appreciate the naked female form? It's like a good piece of art. If I don't ask, how would I know? Getting busted embezzling money, ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1934 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1934#comments Thu, 06 May 2010 06:55:48 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1934 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1934 0 77:15 "Was he or was he not abducted by aliens?" National prayer day huh? More like national talk to yourself day. I could easily understand back in ... "Was he or was he not abducted by aliens?" National prayer day huh? More like national talk to yourself day. I could easily understand back in the day, say around two hundred years ago or more, people believing in a big jealous omnipotent omniscient white flowing bearded being in the sky watching over each and every breath we take. But now, in these modern times we live in? Are you fucking kidding me? I get the whole allure of it, and for those weak willed people, perhaps it's some sort of a guilty guide for them to live their lives by, but if you look at the state of religion today, it is so much more than that. I mean seriously, we have done many scientific tests on prayer to see whether or not there is anynbsp;measurablenbsp;effect, beyond just your normal every day placebo, and I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but when you pray, you are basically talking to yourself. Now, I don't know about you, but when we see someone frequently talking to themselves, we tend to think they have some sort of mental illness going on. Of course, in these modern times we live in, that person walking down the street talking to themselves may very well be talking to another person, thanks to the wonderful technology that is Bluetooth. Although I highly doubt the person on the other end of your ear piece has any kind ofnbsp;omnipotent properties about them, unless of course they are your boss. But for real, cut the crap, all you are doing is instilling a false hope within people who may otherwise have nothing left to live for. Honestly, if you get to that point in life because you keep making stupid choices, then maybe you should just give up living in the first place. I found the last couple of paragraphs on this article about the possible future of the National Day of Prayer (aka national talk to yourself day) pretty fucking amusing. You would think a day dedicated to the religous followers main channel of communication to their deity of choice would be one of the most peaceful events to ever take place in human history. Nay my friends, it is not. According to Charles Haynes, the National Day of Prayer was an attempt to unify people of different faiths, but fights have become more common in the last few years. He attributed this, in part, to the prominence the George W. Bush administration accorded to private evangelical Christian groups such as the National Day of Prayer Task Force. So let me get this straight, you have a day dedicated to praying, which is basically defined as any other form of spiritual communion with a deity, yet you have fights breaking out? I thought these people lived peaceful lives, because they are filled with the holy spirit. Also, what the fuck is the National Day of Prayer Task Force? Sounds like a government agency dedicated to making sure people are praying the right way by shoving guns in their faces and prayer books up their asses. It reminds me of the Northwest Drug Task Force. Except instead of enforcing ridiculous drug laws, they are enforcing prayer. Where the fuck did we go so wrong? This isn't the way the world was supposed to be. I blame religion, or more specifically, I blame the corruption of an idea (religion) by greedy, power hungry fools. Someone should pray for them... Let's all welcome Lyrickal back to the Jamhole. Also, happy Cinco De Mayo! You get this one day Mexicans, then it's back to work. A huge thanks to Jamhole friend Gerard for sending us more 8 mile effect audio. He's all about the flow this time. He's right up there with Snow. If you can, please interview him. I want to know what makes him tick. If I sucked that bad at rapping, you would tell me.... Right? Washington D.C. finally gets their medical marijuana shit straight. Nice work guys, it only took you a decade. For more awesome information on the marijuana legislation front, check out our friends over at MPP.org. Some local medical marijuana news. It seems the Kalispell city council is making decision... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1930 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1930#comments Tue, 04 May 2010 06:55:33 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1930 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1930 0 71:26 "You're a little fucked dude." So the people have spoken and it's once again making the headlines here in our quiet mountain town of Kalispell Montana. ... "You're a little fucked dude." So the people have spoken and it's once again making the headlines here in our quiet mountain town of Kalispell Montana. Back in 2004, the people made it very clear that we wanted marijuana legalized. We know that the only way we are ever going to make that happen, is by first legalizing the use of marijuana for medicinal use. Once that gets done, we will be able to show beyond a shadow of a doubt that marijuana has absolutely zero harmful effects and properties to it, and that the laws fueling the drug war do more harm than good, therefore it should be completely legalized. We can go back to the age old arguement of statistics and proven scientific evidence that alcohol is far more harmful and has way more deaths attributed to it than marijuana ever has or ever will. Yet the drink is legal but the plant is not. So here we are, over five years later, still trying to take care of business. It seems the city is being run by complete morons, because the council once again voted to ban new medical marijuana dispensaries and commercial grow operations within city limits. You know, those same city limits that are peppered with casinos and bars. Those very same city limits that are riddled with sex offenders and child molestors, churches and payday loan places. The one good thing that could actually help the city, and those in charge ban it. What a fucking joke. You can't hide behind the "federal loans will have to be re-payed if we break federal law" argument forever. Pretty soon you are going to have to face up to the FACTS of why you really don't want people growing and smoking pot. IF you even know why. My guess is these leaders of ours have their heads so far up their own asses that everything they see is shit. Guess what Kalispell city council? Washington D.C. finally got their medical marijuana initiative ban lifted. That's right, the place where our Federal Government rules from is now able to implement the medical marijuana initiative they passed over ten years ago. So what are you afraid of Kalispell city council? Open your eyes and start being part of the solution, not the problem. Guess who smokes pot now? I finally got some videos of us rapping at Grizzly Jacks on Thursday nights. Check out the Jamhole YouTube page. If you are local, come out to Grizzly Jacks on Thursday nights at 9pm. We do live hip hop and have a ladies night dance contest. We get a little geeky for a few. Jailbreaking the Iphone 3GS makes me really glad I have a Droid. If you need a good jailbreak program, check out Spirit. Word on the street is you can break it, but there is NO unlock yet. In other geeky news, GSM isn't secure anymore. Told you so! Also speaking in geek, let's talk about some cool Android apps. Abduction is awesome, and very addictive, so be careful. You also want to check out ThrottleCopter and Missile Shield. If you want to play Nintendo games on the Droid, check out Nesoid. You will need the NES roms for the emulator to work with. If you need something, all you have to do is ask. If you make it easy to buy apps, people will buy the fuck out of them. I'll work on making a page that lists all of the apps I'm currently using. For now check out Light Racer, Raging Thunder 2, Space War, GPS Status, G-Mon, Speed Test, Twidroid, Trapster,nbsp;BeyondPod, WeatherBug, and Advanced Task Killer. The Ipod touch finally took a dump on my face. So now the Droid is on it's own, and it's doing amazing. If you ever need to buy something from Best Buy, make sure you know someone that works there. Thank you friend! If you have a friend you can get a $52.99 tuner for $18.99. That's what I'm talking about. Evil Dead the musical as put on by FVCC was fucking awesome. Again, thank you Nicole for getting us tickets. Look who's evil now! We saw the new Nightmare on Elm Street, and it was pretty fucking cool. They picked the only guy that could have played Freddy. It got us in the mood for nightmares ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1913 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1913#comments Sat, 01 May 2010 06:55:14 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1913 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1913 0 76:47 "Hey Mat, what is the most not sexy thing you can think of?" An old Dutch proverb once said, "Many words don't fill the sack." I'm ... "Hey Mat, what is the most not sexy thing you can think of?" An old Dutch proverb once said, "Many words don't fill the sack." I'm going to go ahead and agree with that, as I scratch my empty sack with a satisfied look sitting on my face. A quick run down of the movie Is Anybody There from Danni. This is followed by a nbsp;briefnbsp;reminiscingnbsp;of Michael Caine's amazing movie career. Harry Brown was a cool fucking movie. You should probably try and watch it. Keep your ears open for the Jamhole's first sister podcast. Check out the forums post to help us name it. I finally posted the pics from our trip to Spokane for the Awaken party. We sure do enjoy the 4/20. Were you a conceived mushroom baby? This is what happens when you get your chick preggers while tripping balls on shrooms and / or acid. If I were eight months pregnant, could you fuck me? Probably not. Head hung low. We should sue BP on behalf of the planet. Class action style. Pay me for destroying the planet on which I live. If these companies are going to destroy our home, the least they could do is pay us for it. I mean fuck right? May 20th is drawnbsp;Muhammadnbsp;day. Let's draw the fuck out ofnbsp;Muhammad. Send us your pictures and we'll post them on the site. Mark your calendars. When you take a piss in the morning, do you fart? I should start recording this. If you are familiar with the torrent protocol at all, you might find this interesting. Interesting use of fear and social engineering. This will make you eel. Followed by the cat licking her asshole. This is why you need to watch the live shows. Sexually assaulting yourself in jail... With a hot sauce bottle. You are a foul creature. If you keep stealing from my store, I'm going to nail your ass to the wall... Literally. Well actually, I'm going to find a couple of kids your age to do it for me. Three cheers for India! We need to get an African Grey to help us host the show. That would be awesome. We have some stories aboutnbsp;Africannbsp;Gray birds. Danni is a lizard killer. Wrecking the house, biting fingers, and killing the loud mouth bird. Go wash your hands.nbsp;Definitelynbsp;not the birds cup of tea. He got his feathers pulled out. This story reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on it. If your kid won't sit still, hog tie the fucker. Problem solved. Let's have a quick round of applause for Cleveland Ohio. Danni is the worse guesser in the world. You just lost all your little paychecks. That's the sad part about this whole thing. Send us a postcard from your locale, we'll decorate our walls with them. If you like the show, toss us a couple bucks. We know you love the fast download speeds. Also, I posted a couple hip hop videos from Grizzly Jacks. If you are local, come check us out every Thursday at 9pm. Bring your ladies and your dancing shoes. podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1909 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1909#comments Thu, 29 Apr 2010 05:55:58 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1909 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1909 0 81:17 "How was I mean?" Let's talk about a little something called the virginity industry. I bet you are thinking to yourself right now, I had ... "How was I mean?" Let's talk about a little something called the virginity industry. I bet you are thinking to yourself right now, I had no idea there was even such a thing called the virginity industry. I didn't either until I found this little gem of a news story coming out of Paris France. Most of the clients are women of middle eastern decent, because as we all know, the arab culture is re-fucking-diculous. Basically, to sum up the story, women are going to the clinic in Paris to undergo a 2,000 euro procedure known as a hymenoplasty. If you haven't guessed it yet, this procedure reconnects the tissue of the hymen, and takes about thirty minutes under a localnbsp;anesthetic, in essence, making the woman a born again virgin. Dr. Marc Abecassis is running the clinic and says he performs about two or three a week. This would be a very unnecessary procedure if it wasn't for the outrageous consequences laid upon the women if they aren't virgins on their wedding night. Some women have committed suicide because they felt like they had no other choice, other women have been murdered because they did not bleed the first time their new husband tried to enter their little hairy Arabic pussy cat. According to the story, Muslim clerics (probably the same ones who said the earthquakes were caused by women dressing sexy), say this virginity issue is not about religion. They say, "We should remember that when people wait for the virgin's blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions. This is not related to Sharia law." Based on the previous track record of these "scholarly clerics," I wouldn't believe anything that comes out of their dirty disgusting mouths. I really feel bad for any female born into that culture. You are basically born into a society that doesn't respect women one iota, and you can pretty much be killed for walking the wrong way or not covering up everything on your body except for your eyes. Granted, eyes are fucking sexy as fuck, but in all honesty, fuck that shit. I need the women in my society to shake what their mommies gave them, flaunt it if they got it and to be able to do whatever their little cold female hearts desire. Plus, if this whole problem wasn't based on religion, wouldn't it be easy to fix? People live and die by religious traditions on a daily basis, but laws and culture change and evolve all the time. So if this really is a culture based problem, why not pull your heads out of the sand and start fixing it? I don't know about you, but I don't want to have sex with an unskilled virgin every time I get married. Fuck that noise. Give me a slut who knows how to work that ass any day of the week. I mean seriously, virgins are great because of how tight they are, but that's about it. They cry, they bleed, and they are very unexperienced. Unless of course your girl is a born again virgin, then she might have an idea or two of how to ride a dick. So once again, in conclusion, we wait for the middle east to evolve past their ancient outdated cultural beliefs and join the rest of the civilized world. If you are a woman who lives there, good fucking luck. You are going to need it. I am so fucking funny, I don't even need to say anything to make Danni laugh. That's why we stream the show live with video. You can watch the live shows at thejamhole.com/live every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. / 10pm ET. Let's talk about shaving assholes. That was fun. A piece of advice from me to you, if you use the same clipper to shave your genitals as you do for shaving your face. Don't go ass to mouth. ALWAYS shave your face first. You are so fucking welcome. We watched the Drawn Together movie. Fucking awesome, we highly recommend it. That show makes me horny as fuck for some reason. Is that weird? Then we watched a horror movie called Necromentia. Also cool, if you are into horror movies in the vain of the Hellraiser series. Good stuff. Suicide is so much fun! How do you intim... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1900 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1900#comments Tue, 27 Apr 2010 06:55:10 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1900 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1900 0 96:15 "Can you feel your dick in her stomach when you're fucking her?" I think some of the countries we share this planet with seriously need to ... "Can you feel your dick in her stomach when you're fucking her?" I think some of the countries we share this planet with seriously need to make some changes before they can expect anyone to take them seriously. I mean fuck guys, just from the two plus years of doing this show, we've come across some pretty outrageous ridiculous shit that some of these "societies" participate in. Arresting goats because they thought the goat was anbsp;shape shifter,nbsp;worshipingnbsp;retarded mutated infants like they are a god, making women cover up their finer body parts, making marijuana illegal but alcohol legal, allowing churches to operate on a tax free basis, blaming earthquakes on meditating too hard or on women who dress a little more revealing than covering themselves with a fucking bed sheet, believing that eating fresh albino body parts is the cure for aids, and the list goes on. Granted, our country, the United States, is guilty of pulling our own style of retardednbsp;shenanigans, but I like to think that is the fault of those before us for allowing such idiotic practices to survive for so long. I mean take a long hard look at the state of things today. Not doing so hot are we? I mean granted, some of us are doing ok, but as a whole, we are seriously fucking up some big time shit. I think there needs to be at least a decade span of time, where foreign policy gets dissolved and each country focuses it's resources within, fixing the immediate problems we face on our own soil, before anyone can be expected to fix everyonenbsp;else'snbsp;problems. I believe that if we do that, get all of our individual countries to a self sufficient state where we are living in a somewhat homeostasis with the resources we have at hand, we will be in a much better position to help out on a more global level. But fuck dudes, I've said it before and I'll say it again, if we keep going the way we are going, we are going to collide head first with a major wake up call, and I promise, it isn't going to be the least bit pleasant for any of those involved. Including us... So please, wake up, and let's try to fix this huge mess of shit those before us have so kindly blindly created and left us with. That way we can leave a habitable planet for future generations to come. Let's welcome Brayden back to the Jamhole. It's been a while, and we all missed you. Also, a huge shout out to Ustream for completely fucking up the broadcaster before the show. I hope they spend some of that $75,000,000 on some new programmers. In other news, we are still picking through the rubble of Jamhole Corporate. Let's all pour out a little liquor for everyone who lost their lives because the Islamicnbsp;extremistsnbsp;crashed a plane into it. We have some proof of the 8 mile effect. A huge thanks to Jamholia member Gerard for keeping his eyes and ears open out in the field and sending us this awesome clip. If you want the mp3, go to the forums and check the music player. Now that's true G shit! Thanks to MDS for sending us the 8 bit version of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. This is so fucking awesome. Here is the link to the pixel bomb video we were talking about. It's also on the forums now. Brayden takes us through the suicide of his best friend. So what stage of the grieving process are you in now? Roddy will be missed. Brayden also has a girlfriend now, so of course, let's talk about her! If you have braces, don't brush your teeth with cock. If you do, expect to get slapped in the face. The dating pool is pretty slim if you're looking for a girl whonbsp;doesn'tnbsp;have kids. Good luck guys! The great boobquake of 2010! A +8 Iranian cleric blames the earthquakes on women dressing like whores. Your logic is flawed +8 cleric of darkness. I will defeat you. Count how many breast puns there are. Here is another site talking about Boobquake 2010! Apparently is also made it on the Colbert Report. That's so fucking awesome. Jamholia member Nicole calls i... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1885 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1885#comments Sat, 24 Apr 2010 06:50:55 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1885 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1885 0 72:55 "We employ the city of Detroit." We as a species living together on this amazing planet of ours, need to really take a look at what ... "We employ the city of Detroit." We as a species living together on this amazing planet of ours, need to really take a look at what the fuck we're doing. We are in control of how healthy our planet stays. If we don't take a close careful look at our living habits, we will be the reason the planet dies. Remember, if the planet dies, everything living on the planet dies with it. I know you think this is some silly hippy tree hugger shit, but look around. We take so much out of the earth, and put back very little. The things we do put back are doing more harm than good. It's only a matter of time before the natural laws that govern the planet try to fix everything we've broken. When that happens, it will be too late for us. Ever since humans first walked the earth it has been our responsibility to live in perfect homeostasis with our planet. The more advanced we become, it seems the more this homeostasis becomes unbalanced. We need to take a good hard look at the big picture. When we get to the point of no return, which I believe we are quickly approaching, we are going to have to make some seriously hard decisions. Once that happens, we will no longer concern ourselves with what fashion styles are hot this year. We will no longer care about who has the nicer car or who has the bigger house. It won't matter who makes more money or which reality television show has better ratings. None of the petty, self important things we concern ourselves with on a daily basis will matter in the slightest. Those of us who do manage to survive will be right back at the old drawing board so to speak, once again starting at the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I mean seriously people, I understand that with an estimated seven billion people all trying to share this planet, some bad shit is bound to happen. But this is getting completely ridiculous. We have religions running rampant abusing the fuck out of the power they have given themselves. We have multi billion dollar companies leading the way to complete ecological meltdown and mutually assured destruction. Our leaders are driving this metaphorical titanic right into the iceberg over and over and over again. No one learns from past mistakes anymore, it's like we are in a hurry to see who can destroy one another first. We've been in and out of wars since we landed on this continent, all for what? You fabricate lie after lie to justify the poor decisions you make, which only benefit those doing the lying. We are a greedy self centered species, for the most part only concerned with the present and our own self preservation. We have our heads so far up our own asses, the only big picture we see is shit. Yet that isn't enough to motivate us into making the changes that need to be made. There is a reason things have to get worse before they get better. Because we need things to be so fucked up before we realize that something has to be done. If we don't get our shit together and start trying to nurse our dying planet back to health, I feel really bad for the future generations that are going to have to figure out a way to fix all the shit we completely fucked up, or they will look to the stars to find a new planet we can start over on. But of course if this happens, it will only take another few thousand years to end up right back where we started. Remember the past or you are doomed to repeat it. People like that quote so much in theory, but when it comes to actually practice what was preached, we just don't have the time. If you like to watch the Jamhole live on your mobile device, you might want an android phone. For some reason the ustream app on the Iphone sucks pretty hard. Take from that what you will. How many people know about Islam? Islam isn't very funny, and this is a comedy podcast. Some people don't have a sense of humor. Comedy Central is a bunch of little sandynbsp;vagina'snbsp;for censoring the latest South Park episodes. So it's ok to make fun of every other religi... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1880 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1880#comments Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:45:25 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1880 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1880 0 70:47 "We just like to huff it, I didn't know it was flammable." In this episode we talked about Awaken, the party in Spokane that we performed ... "We just like to huff it, I didn't know it was flammable." In this episode we talked about Awaken, the party in Spokane that we performed at on April 20th, and I would just like to make a few things clear. I talked to Lyrickal today, and he talked to the guy who put the show on, so we have some more info about what happened. I had mentioned on the episode that things were planned poorly, and there was a huge lack of equipment, then we ended up being the ones who had to set most of the main room up. Apparently the promoter did hire two sound guys who were supposed to have that all taken care of, one of them flaked out and the other guy was late or something. So that is why the equipment wasn't there when it should have been. I just want to make it clear that I know how much work it is to throw a party of that caliber, and I completely understand the stress level that goes along with it. I appreciate being given a chance to perform for a new crowd in a new state. I just want to say that, personally, I'm not mad at Jake, and for getting everything put together at the last minute, it was a very successful party. I was mostly mad at the fact that after all the help we provided, we got yelled at for taking so long to set everything up, and that cut into our performance time, which in turn fucked everything else up. Like I said, if I would have known that we were going to have to set everything up, we would have gotten there earlier. But all in all, it was an awesome party, and I look forward to performing in Spokane again. You guys have some great talent there, and the crowds are awesome. So yea, I just wanted to make it perfectly clear that I am not mad about any of this, just a littlenbsp;disappointednbsp;that it turned out the way it did for us. But like I said, shit happens, and when it happens, we do the best we can to make it work. The rest of the party was awesome. If I had to say, it was the best 4/20 party I've ever been to. So a huge thanks goes out to everyone that showed up and helped make this thing happen. It was awesome meeting you guys, and wenbsp;definitelynbsp;need to throw more parties together. I would also like to thank Beez for letting us crash at his place for four days. Thanks for letting us transform your room into a podcast studio. I hope your kitty gets better. This is how a 4/20 weekend should go. Puffin day and night, relaxing, sleeping. That's what I'm talking about. If you would like to own the banner we used for episode 338, check the forums or email info@thejamhole.com. The running bid is $5.00 from Galactor. Happy motherfucking birthday Ashley! Let's all keep Beez's kitty in our prayers. If you wanna watch a cat fetch, check out the youtube video we made. Our kitty pretty much got her ass kicked by other cats again, the whole time we were gone. That's what you get for being such a pussy! I would like to apologize for Danni having such a shitty birthday. Maybe if you did things for me, I would do more things for you. But either way, I am sorry you didn't have a good time. Let's talk about the Spokane party, Awaken. There was some problems at the get go that caused our time to get cut, but all in all, it was a pretty awesome party. We'll make up for our performance tonight, at Grizzly Jacks. It's ladies night, come party with us! Note to self, take the Keisha song out of the hip hop playlist. Don't ever do that again. I forgot to mention this on the Friday show, and I said it on the show notes for episode 338, but it was awesome meeting zenu and his wife. Thanks for coming down and hanging out with us. High five to Danni for getting a new job! I'm glad you held on until you found something you actually wanted to do. Here is another story about thenbsp;burglarynbsp;homicide in Kalispell. If you are selling pills to kids, watch your back. They might end up beating you to death. They are not your friends, they only tolerate you because you have something they want. That's all. H... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1875 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1875#comments Tue, 20 Apr 2010 06:40:10 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1875 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1875 3 93:07 "Everybody watched 8 mile, that was the problem." I literally just finished putting the studio back together, after quite a long drive of me trying to ... "Everybody watched 8 mile, that was the problem." I literally just finished putting the studio back together, after quite a long drive of me trying to con Danni into giving me road head just so I wouldn't fall asleep. She hates penis in her mouth so much, she offered to drive rather than just simply sucking me off while I was driving. Oh well, what are you gonna do. The show in Spokane was fun, we'll talk about it tonight. Basically I need to get these notes finished so I can start getting tonight's show ready. Fun stuff right? We could just take a day off and say that we'll see you on Friday. We could say that we're both terribly tired after a long four days of getting blazed on the Northwest's finest herb, driving hundreds of miles, and getting down at the 420 party. But you know us, we're not like that. That is something you could expect from other podcasts, but not us. We have dedication to the game. That's just how we roll. So I should probably end it right here, I seriously need to bust a nut before the show tonight. Anyway, I completely forgot to mention this, but we had a couple of listeners meet us in Spokane when we got there on Saturday. They could only stay for the night, as they have better jobs than we do and had to leave Sunday morning, but I just wanted to say that it was really fucking cool meeting zenu and his wife, and I hope we can party again sometime. Fuck that was bugging me. I need to start taking better notes or something. Also, this episode was recorded on Danni's birthday, so of course if you haven't already, donate some cash so she knows you all appreciate her. Let's talk about some cool nick names the beautiful city of Spokane Washington has. Are you familiar with Compton? I am also proud to introduce you all to my best friend, Beez. Pardon his levels early on, he's not used to being on that side of the micnbsp;equipment. We watched a pretty kick ass documentary about L.A. gangs. From the very beginning to the modern times, this is why shit is the way it is. I blame the cub scouts, and the white man. Kitty was not cool at all with being moved to a strange place. She's gonna need some therapy, but I think she'll be ok. My friend has a cat that fetches. It's pretty cool, you should check the video. Here is the show notes for the Kalispell homicide I was talking about. We'll talk about it more tonight. This starts a pretty decent nbsp;talk about medical marijuana. Let's pour out a little liquor for Jack Herer. He was one bad motherfucker. He wrote some cool books. This is what we used to do before we started the Jamhole. You can thank us every time you make a cell phone call and it works. That was us. We also used to rap together way back in the day. You know, before rapping was cool. Don't hook up a HP monitor to a HP tablet pc. It will most certainly cause a blue screen of death. Four maxed is the most disgusting drink in the world. It's like cough syrup with wormwood in it. No thanks. Danni finally gets a good birthday present. You are so welcome, and I love you. If you want to check out the King Douche Bag of Jerk Off Mountain ep, it's right here. Let's compare dicks. A Jamhole update about the school that was spying on it's students with built in web cams. You are still weird creepy fucks. We have also solved the problem of priests molesting children. You're welcome! Beez tells us a touching story about Sykes. Hey little boy, can I buy you a drink? A huge big up to Simon Singh for kicking some BCA ass! I'm not trying to date you, I'm just looking to fuck. Beez has mad game with the honeys. It is every dude's wet dream to marry a chick that loves fishing. I gotta say, it's not all that great. Let's talk about shroom tripping ego death back in the day. Beez and I have been some weird places together, both consciously andnbsp;subconsciously. I even tried to kiss him once. You have to hear the story. Beez has lots of cool stories. Women in the Middle East a... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1870 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1870#comments Sat, 17 Apr 2010 06:55:03 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1870 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1870 0 87:47 "Bag her, then tag her, so I don't have to shag her." Great drive, even better weather, a couple of time zones later and here we ... "Bag her, then tag her, so I don't have to shag her." Great drive, even better weather, a couple of time zones later and here we are, in the beautiful Spokane Valley. I keep thinking back to the picture of kitty in the back seat of the car, freaked the fuck out about where we might be going. We haven't spoken since, and last I heard she had earned the nickname "Bad Kitty" from the toddler twins where she is staying. My friend got the claws as well, so he had to trap her in a box and slide her out of the boys' room. We should have just brought her with. Maybe the other cats here could have taught her how to fetch. Anyways the show is tomorrow (Awaken), if you are in the area, come check it out. Not only will we be rapping, there's like eight other rooms with all sorts of crazy cool music playing. It's at Paintball Assault, 4103 East Mission Ave. I really enjoy it when we leave the Flathead Valley for a few days, then check out what news has been going around lately. There was a fun little headline in my news reader that states, "Kalispell homicide tied to medical marijuana uncertainty." Really? So check this out, if a person is caught stealing someone's brand new plasma tv, and the theif kills the owner, do we say it was because of the plasma tv? If that person didn't have a plasma tv in his house, he might still be alive today. Of course not, that's completely absurd. When people rob liquor stores for beer and smokes, do we blame the beer and the smokes? Or do we blame the person doing the deed? Of course we blame the person. People do stupid retarded shit all the time, sometimes they have motive, sometimes it's completely random. That's the beauty of free will. So in this story, a 21 year old Robert Lake, who has a history of getting himself caught doing stupid shit, along with 19 year old Jeffery Nixon were arrested for allegedly killing 49 year old Wesley Collins. The cops think the homicide happened during the course of a robbery at Collin's apartment. They say it appeared a medical marijuana card holder was providing weed to the others, when it turned into robbery. They allegedly killed the guy, took his body out in the middle of patrick creek somewhere, and dumped it off. So then, does it really matter what the guy was selling, whether it was illegal or legal? When a car dealership is robbed, do we blame the car manufacturers for making such awesome cars? I get that there is still alot of people in the Flathead Valley that think marijuana is the devil, and everyone who smokes it are demons, so at this sensitive time in marijuana legalization legislation, I think it's a dirty trick to try and make this story all about the pot. This story is about a couple of young punks with a record of theft, in a situation that got way out of their control, way too fast. When Richard Lake robbed a casino a couple months ago, did the papers say it was the casino's fault for having so much money? Fuck no, because that would be completely ridiculous. Anyways, we have a quote from the Kalispell Police Chief himself, Roger Nasset, saying, "There are statements out there that medical marijuana had nothing to do with this homicide, and that's absurd. nbsp;It absolutely did." Really police chief? You have got to be kidding me. Pharmacy's are getting robbed for their oxycontin and other opiate pain killers, every single day, and sure, I can see blaming that somewhat on the drug. But let's be real here, oxycontin is not only more addictive than tobacco and alcohol when taken recreationally, and after you are hooked on it, and you run out, you literally feel like dying would be easier than dealing with the pain of withdrawals. But like I said, there is a HUGE difference between oxycontin and marijuana. We all know that if you smoked weed every day for a month, and then quit cold turkey, you would be just fine. Now, get high on opiates every day for a month and then stop. I guarantee you will beg for death or offer to suck a whole bag ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1866 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1866#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:55:29 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1866 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1866 0 82:33 "They should be testing on monkeys not sheep." I think I've finally figured out what the problem is with the local hip hop scene. Perhaps some ... "They should be testing on monkeys not sheep." I think I've finally figured out what the problem is with the local hip hop scene. Perhaps some of you who follow our show may have already figured this out, but after going to the open mic at the Dragon's Den last night after the podcast, I think I've figured out the problem. The difference between the Dragon's Den crowd and the Grizzly Jacks crowd is very simple. It all comes down to age. At the den, it is an all ages show, at Jacks, it's 21 and over. So, like I said, we went down there after the show last night, and caught the tail end of what was going on (which wasn't a whole lot), and you could tell just by looking at how the kids dress and carry themselves, what the problem is. These kids have no image of their own. Their whole persona is a carbon copy replica of every single no talent rap group you've ever seen on Mtv since it's inception way back when. This goes back to the whole "It's not what you say, but how you say it" theory. I don't blame the kids, not completely at least. I blame their parents a little for not being there during the more formative years of their little selfnbsp;anointednbsp;"G" children. It's a mixture of living here in the Flathead Valley, not being exposed to "real" hip hop music and performers, and a need to feel accepted by the people they hang out with. This feeds on itself over and over until it gives birth to these young blood thug wanna be's. Once that happens, it's usually too late. It gets reflected in the way they dress and present themselves, in the music they create and listen to, and in the people they associate with. I honestly believe they are making music because they think it will make them more popular and rich. After listening to their music, I believe they really don't have anything worthwhile to say, they are simply in it for the perks. What those perks might be, are beyond me. I can't speak for my crew, but personally, I'm rapping and making music because I love doing it, and if somewhere down the line that ends up paying my bills, then all the better, but if not, then I'm still doing something I love to do. I guess if I had to say anything to kids that may be falling down the pit of despair that is the "gangsta" rap game, it would be this: Stop it! Be yourself, stop mimicking this tired old song and dance that you see on tv, be original, and if you have to diss someone just to make a song, then perhaps that song is better left not being made. Pull your heads out of your asses, pull your fucking pants up, stop wearing gang colors and look in the fucking mirror once in a while. Do you see that scared white kid in a silly clown getup looking back at you? That's who you really are. So please, for the sake of the local rap game, and yourselves, do something creative and worthwhile that helps move the game forward, and if you can't do that, then do everyone a favor and do something else. I hear skull church is always accepting applications for christiannbsp;rap groups... We start out the show on a high note. Times are tough, and we see that reflected back in Danni's attitude. Now you know why I don't ever want to look for another job. Fuck working with the public for minimum wage. If I have to deal with these retards I'm going to need way more than that. If you don't want to hear what people have to say about your situation, then stop putting your situation on the internet. That's all. It's Danni's birthday April 19th, if you would like to get her something, hit up the donate page, or send her marb lights to the po box. We play a few voicemails that have been building up. Thank you for that. If you would like to leave us a message for the show, call 406.204.4687. Can someone please leave a message about how awesome the show is with Danni on it so she can stop having a complex. Thanks for that twentysix. I hate throwing up. Actually, the actual act of throwing up isn't so bad, it's the minutes leading up to it th... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1903 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1903#comments Tue, 13 Apr 2010 06:55:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1903 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1903 0 96:15 "You'renbsp;Britishnbsp;and I'm from a sweatshop." There isn't a whole lot going on right now. I'm just about finished with "god is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. ... "You'renbsp;Britishnbsp;and I'm from a sweatshop." There isn't a whole lot going on right now. I'm just about finished with "god is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. The more I read this book the more it becomes crystal clear that god was just an idea postulated by man, and the more man evolves, the less there is a need for that man made deity. Hitchens quotes quite a few old schoolnbsp;philosophers, most of which are in the philosophy book my grandpa sent me. Here is something from Epicurus speaking about the omnipresent nature of god. "Is he willing to prevent evil but not able? Then is he impotent. Is he able but not willing? Then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?" Hume suggested that the profession of belief in a perfectly simple and omnipresent supreme being was in fact a covert profession of atheism, because such a being could possess nothing that we could reasonably call a mind, or a will. Hitchens also mentions a question that was asked by the Chinese when the first Christian missionaries made their appearance. "If god has revealed himself, how is it that he has allowed so many centuries to elapse before informing the Chinese?" This makes me think that if you had two civilizations that are completely cut off from each other in every was possible, would one of these civilizations end up creating a mythological story as to how they came to be? Perhaps they both would. But then when you take the two and put them together, would they each have the same story of creation? It seems silly to me that if there really is / was one true god, I would think that each civilization would have the same stories about it. But as we look back through history, some of the civilizations have deistic views that are as different from others as night and day. It's like when you and your friends get in trouble, it's always wise to have the same story to tell. When you have discrepancies in your stories like that, someone is lying. So that's about it, if you want to read more about this stuff, I highly recommend picking up "god is not Great." No kidding there isn't many black people living in the Flathead Valley. Most of the older people who live here don't like them. A couple of them even post on this website trying to get more of their white power people to move here because it is friendly to their kind. STOP IT! Grow the fuck up and evolve with the rest of us. People are people and some people are complete shit.nbsp;Doesn'tnbsp;matter what race they happen to be. If reincarnation is true, I hope I come back as a big dicked black man so I can rape the fuck out of you and all of your white daughters. So the city would rather be known as the meth capital and thenbsp;racistnbsp;capital. Not the pot capital. You are so fucking stupid. Holla at the Cannabisnbsp;Farmacy and the other sign that got put up. Welcome to the Flathead Valley, we have the best chronic around! Check out the menu page for proof. Thanks to everyone that came and hung out this weekend with us. We'll be having a party for Dana's birthday in Spokane Washington on Monday, April 19th. If you wanna come kick it, let us know. Check out the flyers for the Awaken show on Tuesday, April 20th. We'll be performing along with a grip of other talent. It's going to be a blast. If you can make the trip, I highly recommend it. Let's over analyze the diss song we were talking about on the Friday episode.nbsp;You sure do rhyme the N word good. Way to bring it back to the white people! Don't tell on your brother if you have shit to hide, because it will most likely end up ALL OVER the internet. Bibby bang! Hahahaha. Don't clean your bong when you are in a shitty mood. You might just burn your shitty little trailer down. Weird sex things humans are into. Hell yea, I'm into a few of those myself. Just check the pictures, if you can bust a nut by the last one, you are a MAN! Guess who has a huge bad ass black truck. No honey, I said MOR... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1854 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1854#comments Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:30:41 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1854 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1854 0 76:55 "I would risknbsp;herpesnbsp;to hit that." Holy fucking shit, let me tell you a little something about updating wordpress plugins. So we're using a very simple (in ... "I would risknbsp;herpesnbsp;to hit that." Holy fucking shit, let me tell you a little something about updating wordpress plugins. So we're using a very simple (in theory) plugin shopping cart, which will rename nameless for the sake of this post. So I finish my route today, and I was slacking on the Friday show notes because my friend was visiting from Spokane. So I put off doing the notes until Monday, knowing that I have a small route, which would leave me plenty of time to get the notes done. Fuck me, that's not how it ever happens, and I should know better by now. So I login and notice that I have a couple of plugins that need updating. If you know anything about wordpress and their plugin system, you know that every now and then people fix some stuff then issue an update. You will also know that when they fix some things, other things tend to break (See last time we updated our podpress plugin). Like I said, I should know better than to update some shit right before I'm about to get my notes done, especially if I'm on a tight schedule. So of course, my thinking is like, "What's the worse that can happen?" I mean fuck, it's just my store I'm updating. Well, I installed the update, activated it, and POW, the whole motherfucking store breaks. It's times like this when I wish my girlfriend had a rich computer geek programmer as a brother, so I could just email him and be like, "Yo, fix this... Thanks." But alas, I do not, so fuck me. I start doing some reading, and of course, I'm not the only person having this problem. Now riddle me this, if you know thousands of people rely on your plugin to make their store function, wouldn't you perhaps, test the fuck out of it before you push the update down the line? I know that if I was in the programming business, I would try my hardest to make sure each and every update I released was working perfectly. And I get it, you can't test for everything because people use this program set on a whole bunch of different platform scenarios, but fuck dudes, let us know that hey, if you update to the new version, it might fuck everything up completely. So I spent the last hour and a half trying to fix the new version, before finally giving up. I found a couple of posts pointing to the old version that I used to use, so I downloaded that and put it back on the server, and hopefully it's all working now. Like I said, I'm at work right now, so I haven't had time to fully test it. So if anyone wants to order something from the store, let me know if it's working. I still have a few tweaks to finish, but other than that it should be back to a somewhat normal working configuration. Anyways, if you deal with this kind of shit like I do, it seems like a very good idea to do some research before updating. This is my public service announcement for the day. I hope I saved someone some update heartbreak. Let's welcome back our old Friday guy from back in the double digit episodes, Shaun AKA Lyrickal. He's one of the guys I'm rapping with now. Good stuff. You can check out his myspace page here. Looks like I'm not the only one getting old. Someone gets a little sore from dancing. She did almost win last Thursday. Let's talk about some local rap drama. Please pull your hip hop heads out of your asses. We are ALL 406 here, deal with it. If you are going to write a diss song, please try and refrain from rhyming the word "Nigger" with the word "trigger." Especially if you are "white." Thank you. So, how much tail do you really get from being a rap star? It's all about attention whoring really. If you wiggle your genitals, they will wiggle theirs. Also, cooking at HuHut will probably get you laid. If y0u want to come hang out in Spokane April 19th for Danni's birthday live show, make sure email info@thejamhole.com and RSVP. We will be there Saturday April 17th, Jamhole live episode Monday April 19th, and then "Awaken" the 4/20 party is on Tuesday April 20th. Come on down and party with us, it... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1850 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1850#comments Thu, 08 Apr 2010 05:25:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1850 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1850 0 76:55 "This isn't real dude, wake up. This is complete bullshit." Remember quite a while ago, we had mentioned that Purdue Pharma, the maker of the oh ... "This isn't real dude, wake up. This is complete bullshit." Remember quite a while ago, we had mentioned that Purdue Pharma, the maker of the oh so popular oxycontin brand of party drugs, I mean pain medication, was messing around with a new formula, that was supposedly going to make it harder for all the party animals out there to get their money's worth out of the drug. I say it like this, because if you know anything about street drugs and their prices, you will know that there isn't a pill out there worth more on a per milligram basis then the much sought after oxycontin. Of course, this is the pill that started off my ten year jaunt into the cold dark surreal world of opiate addiction. Keep in mind, I was doing this way back in the day, when you could get a few pills for under $50. Now a days, the street value has gone up so fucking much, people are spending upwards of $1 per milligram. Do the math, if you have an 80 milligram pill, and you purchased it from a street vendor, you most likely paid $80. Completely out of control, and I've watched it only get worse. As the people selling the pills get more and more greedy because they are on fixed incomes, and see this as a huge opportunity to make some extra gambling money or whatever, people start resorting to more extreme measures to acquire their drugs. If you are an old disabled person, and you keep raising the price on the pills you are selling on the street, don't be surprised when one day one of your "friends" robs you for every pill your worth. You brought this on yourself you greedy pieces of shit. Also keep in mind, this drug has a rapid tolerance that builds up with it almost exponentially. So now, instead of doing half a pill and getting really fucked up from it, you find yourself doing the whole pill just so you feel somewhat normal. It's a vicious cycle that rarely ends well for the end user. Now fast forward about four or five years, we have people robbing pharmacy's non stop, in some places, even robbing the same pharmacy day after day. Enter loads of news stories about people overdosing, children overdosing, the elderly selling their pills, and street dealers trying to find new and creative ways to scam a prescription for the "good stuff" from any doctor they can find. This of course pressures the source of all this mischief to eventually do something about it. This brings us to the present day, and it appears the new formulation has finally been approved by the FDA. It seems they haven't learned from previous mistakes. Listen up idiots, it's not the drugs that are the problem. You need to examine WHY people are d0ing these drugs in the first place. Perhaps because the quality of life has gotten so low, that people are looking for any kind of escape they can find. Perhaps it is in our nature to really like getting fucked up, changing our mind states, partying like the primitive animals we really are. So ok fine, you change the formula a little bit in hopes of cutting down abuse some, but I'll tell you something, the only thing you are doing is making people angry. People are going to get fucked up regardless of what you put in the drugs they have chosen to do. Junkies are very resourceful people, and if they want to get high bad enough, they will find a way to do it. It's either that, or they will die trying. So Purdue says the new formulation will be much harder to crush, cut, ground, chew or dissolve in liquid. This tells me that they are putting some kind of wax or gelatin like gelling agent in the pill mixture, much like the generic brand of oxycontin created by a few other pharmaceutical companies had done. Guess what, people still found a way to get high with those pills. All it really did was drove the street price of the real oxycontin up and the street price of the generic oxycontin down. So like I said, the problem isn't the drug, it's the people. I would even go so far as to say the problem is society itself. So you put some nasty shit in your p podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1835 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1835#comments Tue, 06 Apr 2010 06:00:39 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1835 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1835 0 71:59 "I'm going to sleep, you fucking leave me alone." Haters hate, debaters debate, creators create, the rest of us, well, we masturbate into a faceless disaster ... "I'm going to sleep, you fucking leave me alone." Haters hate, debaters debate, creators create, the rest of us, well, we masturbate into a faceless disaster plate of disgraced plastered paint dressed up all pretty to act as faith. Reaction nervous, hands shaking, staring into a bottomless cup of what the fuck are we doing crazy. Screwing and luring the pure humans of past, present, and future into an immune view of jaded delays and misconstrued truths. Practice makes perfect, habits face certain tragic death when the earth's surface turns on it's last staggered step. Transferred from lavish beach front to the last scandalous leased cup, our patterns pitter patter as we cease to clean up. Free your mind and let the data unwind into a preconceived notion of what it's like to be blind. The proverbial wool blindfold over eyes hold sighs and a bright hope that the earth dies before I tell my joke. Those who joined the pre show got quick live hip hop show. You're welcome. We'll be doing that from time to time, so if you wanna see what this rap shit is all about, come catch a live show. Guess who got android 2.1 when they woke up? This guy! If you have a droid, you'll probably get it soon. Check out the video we made showing you all how we get down at Grizzly Jacks on Thursdays! Come down this Thursday, we have some out of town hip hop talent, and the sexiest ladies in the valley. You have two more weeks to enter for your chance to win an autographed "What Do We Do Now" book. April 20th we will be in Spokane doing a rap show. We'll be heading there Saturday and staying the weekend, so if you wanna come do a live Jamhole ep with us on Monday April 19th for Danni's birthday, get a hold of us. Speaking of Danni's birthday, feel free to send her stuff to the PO Box or the donate link, or something off of one of the many wish lists we have on the site. I'm deleting my profile on the forums andnbsp;unsubscribing because I hate Mat, but I'll keep in touch with you. Either listen to the show or go fuck yourself. I don't care either way. Redfox calls in and kills some time. Thank you for the show quote kitty! I am addicted to you. Stop protesting oxycontin you fucking idiots. There are much stronger pills on the market you should focus on. Maybe if you were actually being parents, your children wouldn't overdose on your pain killers. Now pay attention as I teach y0u how to get the right stuff. This is for entertainment purposes only. Just saying... Galactor calls in with the scoop on the doctor scene. Where the fuck is my lighter? She's not having a seizure because of low blood sugar... That bitch is possessed! I'm gonna need 20cc's of the body of christ, STAT!!! Clash of the Titans, not too bad, as long as you like greek mythology. If not, you might just wanna watch it at home. Also, you probably don't need to watch it in 3D. nbsp;I have a rather large 3D glass collection, so if you need the hook up on some tight 3D glasses, hit me up. Drinking and driving... Sort of. Well, he was driving, before he hit that cop. What was the cop doing? Talking to another drunk driver. Did I mention the driver was a midget? The driver is a midget. Let's play hide and seek. You go hide behind mommy's car, and I'll run over your head. Another classic example of poor parenting. Danni has a sensitive side. Have any of you had a family member run over another family member? Email info@thejamhole.com and let us know. Or you could leave a message at 406.204.4687. Make sure you're sending in postcards from where you live. Thanks to everyone who has already. This will be really cool looking when it's finished. Uganda leading the way innbsp;religiousnbsp;child sacrifice. Right the fuck on! Thanks for the crash Ustream, appreciate it as always. Make fitty bucks by shakin yo butts! Thursday night at Grizzly Jacks in Bigfork Montana! Spread the word, help support the show by donations, votes, or check out the store. podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1831 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1831#comments Sat, 03 Apr 2010 06:55:25 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1831 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1831 0 99:03 "What the fuck is Montana?" Guess who's favorite "church" organization in Kalispell just bought up another property downtown. I swear this fresh life church thing is ... "What the fuck is Montana?" Guess who's favorite "church" organization in Kalispell just bought up another property downtown. I swear this fresh life church thing is getting way out of control. Making moves like a bandit on this small town god mentality. So Levi Lusko, who is the 27 year old head of the organization says that, "Our goal isnrsquo;t snatching up properties, our goal is to accommodate the growth of the church." With over 1,500 members, they are outgrowing the two large occupancy movienbsp;theatersnbsp;in the heart of downtown Kalispell they acquired back in 2007. It's not just here that he's done this either. Mr. Lusko was the youth pastor of one of the biggest churches in New Mexico, and the director of student ministries at Ocean Hills Church in San Juan Capistrano. He seems to really know how to get the kids to like him and listen to what he's saying, which is fucked up, because no one is out there telling the kids the other side of it. All they hear is this god is coming back shit, and they are scared into doing whatever he says. God is never coming back! Don't you see? They have the perfect mechanism for getting people to believe this shit. You say that god is coming back, but on his own time, so in the meanwhile, just keep coming to church and learning about how god is completely awesome and totally coming back, donate money to us, and when god does finally come back, you'll all be good and ready to go to heaven.nbsp;I find myself more and more amazed at the capacity of the human mind to believe such silly shit. People need to see the problem with this. Some young charismatic god preaching eccentric rolls into town from California with a pile of cash, and opens up a mega church appealing to the non conservative side of the valley here, and all of the sudden he's converting every kid who has ever been scared into believing in the existence of a god. If god was real, we'd have some evidence of it. Also, the problem with the catholic church and children kind of points the other way. If religious people have morals because of god, why do they insist on finger fucking your children? I've been to a service there, and it's very scary how zombie like the congregations are. The mind is a powerful tool, especially when used against you. So now you see a skull church sticker on every other car that drives by, with a look in the eyes of the driver like they've lost something. It's very relaxing to know that everything is in god's hands right? Light as a feather, not a care in the world, and if I do happen to fuck up, I can just apologize and be on my way. Man, god is so awesome. God is a placebo effect, nothing more. We used to need god back when we didn't understand fuck all about how the world works. But now, as we discover and advance our technology and our lives, we have replaced god with stable, sound scientific logic and reasoning. So I find myself asking, what's the end game here? Do you want to turn this valley into one of those weird creepy religious cult towns Stephen King always enjoys writing about? Does it start stock piling guns and ammunition for the impending apocalypse and subsequent zombie hell that is close to follow? I guess we can all be a little happy that it's not another catholic church right? I'm sure you'll agree that we already have a pretty decent sizednbsp;molesternbsp;problem in this valley. Just look at the maps online. They are everywhere. So to set our minds at ease, and incorporate a couple puns from the actual movie theatre names he purchased, Levi Lusko gives us this quote, "All of the purchasing and the buildings are for the people who are stranded in sin so they can find liberty and life in Jesus Christ." Seems like you hit the jackpot of easily manipulated people when you found Kalispell Montana, didn't you Levi. Thank the good lord himself that Levi Lusko and Skull church are here to save the rotten people of the Flathead Valley from the sin we strand ourselves in each an... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1826 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1826#comments Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:20:58 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1826 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1826 2 90:19 "There's a hole down there and I put my fingers in it every night." Ok, so my time is short right now, so the show notes ... "There's a hole down there and I put my fingers in it every night." Ok, so my time is short right now, so the show notes aren't going to be anything special. Plus it'snbsp;Aprilnbsp;Fools (national liar liar day), so I'm really just not in the mood. All day I've had to deal with people's retarded pranks and jokes. I used to enjoy the fuck out of this little merry prankster day, but I guess I'm just to that age and jaded enough to just not give a fuck anymore. Plus, on top of all that, I have a little hip hop performance tonight, and I'm still trying to get my shit memorized. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I mean after all, I did just write this whole song two days ago, then made changes, so I've had like a day to memorize the rhymes. On top of that, working a full time job, and producing this lovely podcast you all listen to, kinda has menbsp;creativelynbsp;drained at the moment. So let me just say this. Topeka changing their name tonbsp;Googlenbsp;was a retarded fucking move. Then today,nbsp;Googlenbsp;changing their name to Topeka, totally changed it around and made me smile this morning. Good on yanbsp;Google. That was the one prank that actually didn't make me want to punch the prankster in the face. Thanks for trying to keep it somewhat realnbsp;Google. To the rest of you, we'll see you tonight at Grizzly Jacks. You must be at least 21, and if you happen to be a female, your drinks and hopefully your clothes, will be half off. Show up around 9 to get good seats, because we're going to pack the house tonight. Come watch us do some Montana rap music for y'all! YEEHAAW! Wow Mat, what fucking day is it? Get your shit straight please. My handwriting encryption got all fucked up. That's my bad. Quick shout out to one of our beat makers, Mozart Jones. Thanks for hooking it up, and if you're looking for some sick beats, check out his page. Let me walk you through a little creative process for writing hip hop that I actually have to perform. Fuck, this is way harder than just recording hip hop. If you wanna see what I've been working on, come to Grizzly Jacks tonight at 9pm. Remember if you are a lady, bring your ass and get ready to shake it, because the best dancer wins $50! We'll also have some videos of the show for you all to check out. If you don't smoke, don't be a smug bitch when you walk by people who are smoking outside. The great outdoors is now the only place we can smoke. That's your fault, so deal with it. Grow the fuck up and quit beingnbsp;whinynbsp;little cry babies. The weirdest interaction Danni and I have ever had... 2 am naked Reese's puffs time. If you smoke in your house, you are an animal. 24 has apparently been cancelled. If I were the writers, I would have detonated the nuke and blew the fuck out of whatever network cancelled me. But I don't write for 24, so fuck it. Congrats to Smashley getting off probation. Who's ready to PARTY! Please don't heckle me while I'm rapping. It's only funny when you heckle comics. If you heckle rappers, you might just get shot in the face. Hey U.S. where the fuck did you get 1.15 BILLION dollars to give to Haiti? Last I checked we were in debt, and you can't spend negative monies. Nice work guys! What a fucking waste. Getting paid for selling your seven year old step sisters ass. Now that's a pimp. What an amazing world we live in. You guys gang banged the wrong girl you weird creepy New Jersey fucks! Opening up a strip club for underage boys in your trailer. Now that's taking advantage of the space you have. Cutting your dick off because you are fucking crazy, and heart broken. Was it hard or soft before you cut it off? I'm glad you geeks enjoyed my AMD joke. You totally took a shit in the wrong car. What the fuck is wrong with people. Taking a huge leap off the 86th floor of the Empire State Building. Fuck I wish I could have seen that happen. Are you enjoying the free publicity Bank of America? More counts of sexual abu... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1822 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1822#comments Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:00:28 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1822 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1822 0 97:16 "You are a cold blooded reptilian bitch." A while back I wrote a blog post about how I'm sick and tired I am of all these ... "You are a cold blooded reptilian bitch." A while back I wrote a blog post about how I'm sick and tired I am of all these unicorns running rampant in our valley, scamming people out of money for bullshit magical remedies that have absolutely zero scientific evidence to support them. Well, it seems we have a backlash of pissed off magical unicorns on our hands. What I don't understand is this. Why do the unicorns feel so threatened? I mean seriously, I'm not a unicorn, I just see what kind of animals they really are, and it makes me mad that they are allowed to scam people like this. So these unicorns either have nothing better to do, or feel threatened by what I'm writing because I am exposing them for what they really are. Horses with horns strapped to their heads, doused in glitter. I mean if you want a horse, why not just go spend money on a horse? But no, these unicorns have to give all animals like this a bad name, trying to create a niche for themselves, even though they have no proof that what they are doing actually works. Even the horses are starting to get pist about it. So listen up you punk ass unicorn piece of shit. You are so fucking lucky that I have respect for my boss, and that he has kindly asked me to back off and let you work your little fairy dust magic on the people of the valley. But I'll tell you something, if you keep trying to get me fired, or if you keep fucking with my job the way that you are doing, and you know exactly what the fuck you're doing, we are going to have big problems. Not even just with me, but with the Internet. Let me tell you from first handnbsp;experience watching these animals in action, the Internet and our loyal friends that live on the Internet, are not people you want to fuck with or have put all over your big horse face looking ass. I hope I have made myself perfectly clear. Also, if I do for some crazy reason, lose my job because of this, I will make it my life's work to ensure that younbsp;receivenbsp;every single bit of karma, or whatever the fuck it is you stupid fake ass unicorns believe in, comes back on you a hundred fold. I am not fucking around with you anymore. I left it alone after my initial blog post, but you had to take it to a whole other level, and that is simply unacceptable, especially for a creature of your age. So here's an idea, instead of taking it to the level you have brought it down to, why not do some actual scientific research and provide us with the evidence you say is so clearly there. If the evidence is NOT there, then that means you are a complete and utter fraud. Because from what I've found on the internet relating to unicorns and their fake practice, it's nothing but a scam. Granted, there are a few good ones here and there, but they aren't unicorns, they are horses. Real life scientifically sound honest to goodness horses. It's not even just me, ask all your horse friends, they will tell you the same thing, and they will also tell you to knock it the fuck off, because you are giving not only yourself a bad name, but the whole species you belong to. I really hope we are crystal fucking clear on exactly what I'm talking about here. Make no mistake, and thank your lucky fucking stars that I am a bigger man than you (even though you are a unicorn), because if I went down to your level, I'm telling you right now, it would not end well for you, or your fake ass practice. I will have your ugly ass long faced glitter covered head mounted on my fucking wall, and a necklace made out of your bullshit horn. End it now, before I end it for you. Keep the entries coming for the autographed KATG book contest. Remember, the contest ends April 15th. I am a warm blooded mammal, where as, she is a cold bloodednbsp;reptiliannbsp;bitch. That's the best way I can explain it. Keep checking the Jamhole store for some cool hippy hemp necklaces Danni is making. They are just a little something we'll give you in return for helping her out with cash while... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1817 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1817#comments Sat, 27 Mar 2010 06:00:04 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1817 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1817 0 93:06 "It's like farmnbsp;equipmentnbsp;ok. It's big." I've pretty much blown my creative load this weekend writing hip hop rhymes for the show this Thursday. It seems that ... "It's like farmnbsp;equipmentnbsp;ok. It's big." I've pretty much blown my creative load this weekend writing hip hop rhymes for the show this Thursday. It seems that from my one performance at Grizzly Jacks last Thursday, it has opened up a couple doors of opportunity. We'll talk about the shows I'll be rapping at so you guys can come down and check it out if your into that. The one major show I know of is on April 20th in Spokane. As we get the details, I'll be sure to let you know. I'm very excited for this. Anyways, so I was combing thenbsp;Googlenbsp;news site looking for something somewhat interesting to write about, when I found this little gem. It seems that over the weekend, the F.B.I. conducted a few raids in Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana on what they are describing as a "Christian militia group." I don't like the sound of that any more than you probably do. A Christian Militia? Are you fucking kidding me? That mixes the crazy belief system of a militianbsp;with the even crazier belief system ofnbsp;Christianity. Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes this country needs a good militia here and there to make sure the government doesn't over step it's bounds, like they seem to be doing a lot lately. But I am not at all down with anbsp;Christiannbsp;militia group, or any religious militia group for that matter. You can't mix those two kinds of crazy together, and if you do, you have a very unstable recipe for god justified violence. Especially if they get balls big enough to start fucking with othernbsp;religiousnbsp;extremist groups. This could start world war three if they aren't careful. So I did some quick checking, and this Christian militia group calls themselves the Hutaree (which meansnbsp;"Christiannbsp;soldier"), and if you can deal with trying to read white text overnbsp;camouflagenbsp;background (maybe pray to god for a web designer with a little color theory knowledge), you can see what they are all about. Here is a fun little quote taken from the group's website. "We believe that one day, as prophecy says, there will be an Anti-Christ... Jesus wanted us to be ready to defend ourselves using the sword and stay alive using equipment." It seems from the news article that most of the arrests were focused around gun charges in one form or another. On the wiki page it says they were first targeted by the F.B.I after its members made threats of violence against Islamic organizations, and seven people were arrested for allegedly selling pipe bombs in Michigan, Ohio and Indiana.nbsp;Now, the main thing I don't understand with all of this end times bullshit, is that if you are really building up arms to go and fight the antichrist, do you think guns andnbsp;pipe-bombsnbsp;are going to have any effect whatsoever? If you believe what you say you believe, then the antichristnbsp;is basically Satan himself, which is basically the opposite power to god. So now your dealing with an all powerful evil being, and you are stocking up guns and explosives to try and stop him? Please wake the fuck up, this isn't the movie Legion for fucks sake.nbsp;As much as I would love to see the look on their faces when, first of all, there is no end times for their little religious militia to play "army" in (other than the one we might usher in by completely destroying the planet we live on), and two, if there happens to be an end times, they run out there with whatever weapons they managed to hide from the A.T.F., and start firing onnbsp;Beelzebubnbsp;himself, oh man it's going to be a fucking party. But back to reality, (you know, where the rest of us live), there have been many end times predicted, and when the time comes for the prediction to come true and manifest something totally fucking epic, and it doesn't, they just keep on moving the goal posts. Maybe not enough people believed, or maybe you didn't pray hard enough. So we'll all meet back here, same time, in the year 2012, and we'll try again. Once again my mind has been bl... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1813 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1813#comments Thu, 25 Mar 2010 05:00:57 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1813 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1813 0 96:45 "I've seen some fucked up boob jobs in my time." As some of you may know, I'm currently reading the book, "god is not Great" by ... "I've seen some fucked up boob jobs in my time." As some of you may know, I'm currently reading the book, "god is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. When you read something like this, coming from a largelynbsp;Christiannbsp;Lutherannbsp; upbringing, it really makes you think. Of course, I've come to the realization a long time ago that the evidence we currently have in no way supports what these religious nut jobs classify and believe in as a god. The bible itself is a huge contradiction not written by god, but by man. As you all know, man always has a hidden agenda, and if you think the bible is free of that, you are more naive than you thought. If you are doubting your faith in any way, or have a propensity towards learning about the horrendous atrocities that have been committed in the names of these religions, I highly recommend picking up this book. Hitchens does an amazing job covering not only the religions we are familiar with here in the United States, but the ancient Eastern religions as well. I was taken aback when he describes how the Japanese suicide bombers (Kamikaze or Divine Wind) were being trained by the Buddhist and Shinto priests. Of course nothing as crazy as flying your airplane into a battleship or building could ever be motivated by anything less than a higher power of some sort. In the case of the Kamikaze, it was enough to be assured that their emperor was a "Golden Wheel-Turning Sacred King," one of the four manifestations of the ideal Buddhist Monarch and a fully enlightened being of the material world. Of course, being westerners and seeing how history played out, it's easy for us to just shrug it off as lunacy. Look, those crazy delusional Japanese are at it again, with their weird mysterious Tathagata filling their minds with bullshit lies. But we can easily draw a lot of parallels between them and any modern day western religiousnbsp;fanaticism. I love the term Hitchens uses to describe this brainwashing. He calls them Zen-obedient zombies. I couldn't think of a better phrase to describe them. In this, we can clearly see why blind faith can be a huge threat to our lives in a free and rational thinking world. I would like to end with a quote from the end of chapter fourteen. Hitchens says, "A faith that despises the mind and the free individual, that preaches submission and resignation, and that regards life as a poor and transient thing, is ill-equipped for self-criticism." Think about it... The following chapter covers religion as original sin. He starts out with a few bullet points regarding how religion is not just amoral, but completely immoral. Granted, some of these things have been removed from religious doctrine, but in order to understand why religion is the way it is now, we must examine where it came from and how it used to be. They are: Presenting a false picture of the world to the innocent and the credulous The doctrine of blood sacrifice The doctrine of atonement The doctrine of eternal reward and/or punishment The imposition of impossible tasks and rules When you can clearly see how completely fucked up religion used to be, and what it has turned into, you can hardly blame the people who are fooled into following it. I mean, you have to admit, 72 virgins, eternal life in paradise, nirvana, or any of the other promised gifts of the faithful seem like pretty awesome things. But when you look at the reality of the situation, and break it down to it's core parts, you are basically being scammed by the worst kind of con artist. But again, people are weak, and when they reach a low part in their lives when everything seems to be going horribly wrong, it's very easy to take the blame and responsibility of "why" your life is all fucked up, and project that onto some higher power. Please absolve me of making stupid decisions and fucking my life up even more. If you do that, I'll believe in you. Sounds like a fair trade right? Wrong... Dead wrong. All of t... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1806 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1806#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:30:24 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1806 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1806 0 103:51 "Can you stop hacking wep keys for just 5 minutes please." So I saw a sign the other day that read "Church Divorce Care" on it. ... "Can you stop hacking wep keys for just 5 minutes please." So I saw a sign the other day that read "Church Divorce Care" on it. I just wanted to let you know, that I am saddened by the fact that one of the few groups still alive today that still honestly give a fuck about "marriage" enough to not want the "fags" and "homos" to be allowed to participate, they have realized that, it is in fact "retarded" to think that two people should be insane enough to last more than a couple of decades (if that), and that eventually when the love story comes to an end, like all of your friends have already figured out it has, they will need a "holy" shoulder to cry on. So now the church stance is marriage is sacred and holy and all that bullshit, but you know, if you can't "tough" it out, then we're ok with that too. It must have been "the devil" who tricked you into getting her knocked up right? Of course it was. Sign on the dotted line, I'll collect my $500 "blind eye of god" fee, along with my $350 "keep my mouth quiet to the congregation" fee, and we'll all be on our ways. We'll be seeing you Sunday right? Of course we will. Going through a divorce can be tough, I firmly believe "god" of all things knows that. So when all else fails, like is usually the case, you can trust your local church to give you the divinenbsp;guidancenbsp;you seek. But just one thing, you can't be cheating on your wife with someone else in the church, then act all surprised when you come home to find your wife sucking off the preacher with a finger in his ass. In other thoughts, have you ever referred to your wife or girlfriend's vagina as "that fucker?"nbsp;nbsp;Next time she's naked, turn the light on and yell, "Holy shit, look at that fucker!" "Bring that fucker over here." What can I say, I'm a romantic. Some say one of the few left roaming this cursed planet of ours. Danni got fired, so during this off time she would appreciate it if you could help support the show, and her by donating some cash. In return for donations more than ten dollars, she'll make you a hemp necklace... Fucking hippies... Get your asses on the forums and enter to win an autographed copy of the new Keith and The Girl book, "What Do We Do Now." Helping keep retards literate and in love for over five years. You are really going to want this book regardless of your stupid Facebook relationship status. Trust us. All you need to enter is a jamhole forums account. Details can be found right here. Or thejamhole.com/contest. The contest will end April 15th 2010. Let's get the fuck out of town, but first, let's have a gas station debate on whether or not god exists. You can check out the pictures from our trip on the pics page. Some real time pics were posted on the twitpic account, and the forums. It's a fucking casino, I get it. But it's a casino that has "Lucky Lemmings" in it. Now that's a big fucking deal. We should have just gotten a room at the casino. Every timenbsp;they put new stoplights in, they should leave the stop signs. That way, when the power goes out again, the stop signs will help people decide what to do. I can't sleep unless I have the relaxing background hum of the desktop computer. Internet was down, thought I'd go outside today. I'm bored, let's go talk to the recruiters. That's a fun game. If I didn't have this show, I might be on my way to Afghanistan. Hey, so I heard Obama finally fixed everything! So we're all good now right? We're notnbsp;actuallynbsp;working our asses off so we can live paycheck to paycheck anymore. Listen to me have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. What the fuck is health care? Idiots are everywhere, here are a few encounters. Idiot sightings!!! 10 retarded television shows we wouldn't want aliens (or god) (or anyone else) to see. Now let's talk about them. Raise your hand if you work in an office and your playing "Biggest Loser." What an amazing concept. Hey god, end the world with a meteor please. I wa... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1802 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1802#comments Sat, 20 Mar 2010 05:50:55 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1802 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1802 2 107:53 "I like looking at disfigured people." So it has come out recently that long time homeopathic whoo whoo debunker, beloved skeptic and phenominal magician James nbsp;Randi ... "I like looking at disfigured people." So it has come out recently that long time homeopathic whoo whoo debunker, beloved skeptic and phenominal magician James nbsp;Randi has come out of the closet at the ripe old age of 81. Now this is how you do it. There was no hypocrisy nbsp;involved whatsoever, no back peddling, no making excuses for his actions or self rationalizations like some of the other people we have read and talked about on the show, most of them holding positions of power within our government. Most of these people I speak of were being nbsp;controlled by those who padded their pocketbooks. Pretty soon, after so much of this back and forth shady pocket padding, we might as well have the people who did the padding in the first place do the voting, because obviously the people we elected don't listen to we the people, they listen and vote the way those who padded their pockets most would like. So what's the difference? It's all a numbers game in the end. I am such a good liar that I fooled you all into voting for me because I made promises of all the great things I would do, but now that I'm actually in office, I'm going to do whatever the people who pay me the most want me to do. So if you want something voted on a certain way, just give me more money than the people who want it the other way. This is a classic example of the break down in our system that causes it to completely not work. So sure, why not vote no on some bill here and there that will end up setting the gay rights movement back years and years. Why not take money from people who would just as soon see you hanging dead from a tree than give you a helping hand. Why not join a church and give money to it, when in reality they would rather see you crucified than the lord they supposedly worship, just because you were born with an aversion to sucking cock instead of eating pussy. Honestly, it makes no difference to me, in my eyes, the world is just as fucked up for me as it is for you. Unless of course you were born into a shitload of money, or won the lottery or something, or you work in porn. Then you probably have it just a little better than I do. But that's besides the point. I basically just wanted to say right the fuck on James Randi, that's how you come out of the closet. That right there is how you fucking do it. We can only hope the rest of the closeted gays in congress will take a hint, and watch and learn how the master works it. Check out A Scathing Review. At least check out the episode where they interviewed Keith and The Girl for the "What Do We Do Now" book. Good stuff. So, are you guys in a relationship too? Listen to the last part of the ep to hear me taking a dump. Thank you to the idiots burning garbage for giving me a wicked headache. Stop burning things you aren't supposed to burn, you fucking retards. The new south park episode was fucking brilliant. Poor Tiger Woods. Should have thought that through a little more. You can't keep a whore's mouth shut, no matter how many hundred dollar bills you gag her with. So we're trying to take a trip to a nice hot spring with a private jacuzzi. Of course the one I had reserved is all fucked up. Oh well, we had a great trip anyways. We'll talk about it Monday. I bet you could fix your jacuzzi if you weren't living in the 1800's. Fuck it, we're going to Idaho. Get your plans ready to go to Defcon with us. Check out the Defcon website for more info. It's going to be so awesome. Vegas, here we come! I will leave a magician, and return a +5 black magic hacker wizard. Phear me! Pay the fuck attention when we're doing the show. You are no longer allowed to have your phone while we're doing a show. Hey 40 Days for life, why don't you get the fuck out of our town, and go protest these fish. They are also having abortions. They are having way more abortions than the sluts here in the Flathead Valley. Weird fucked up baby diseases. If you were thinking about having a baby, or yo... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1798 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1798#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 05:35:38 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1798 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1798 0 101:09 "This conversation is over." So I'm searching around bing for the phrase "kalispell podcast" or "montana podcast" just to see who else is podcasting up in ... "This conversation is over." So I'm searching around bing for the phrase "kalispell podcast" or "montana podcast" just to see who else is podcasting up in these parts. Plus I've never used bing before, so I wanted to see what Microsoft's great answer to Google was. I don't care for it, and I probably won't ever use it again, but that's besides the point. In the results it returned, was a video podcast made by the oldnbsp;Christiannbsp;school I went to. Apparently the new cool thing to do for churches to be hip is recording their sermons and posting them as audio or video for people to subscribe to. You know, in case you want to be bored to tears and lied to the other six days left in your week. So of course I have to hear it so I can see what they are preaching now a days and how the quality is, and let me tell you something... God fucking awful. There was a horrendous feedback loop buzz in the background that was making my cat try to kill herself, and whoever was operating the camera had a little trouble following the pastor as he moved about the stage. The pastor should probably learn how to read a little better before he tries to read out of the bible in front of a sell out crowd of upper middle class god snobs. You would think god could step in once a week and help this poor guy out, maybe hook it up with thenbsp;Rosettanbsp;Stone or something. I was embarrassed for this guy, and I've never met him or heard of him in my life. So he's preaching the same old tired shit about how we're all full of sin and god sentnbsp;Jesusnbsp;to die on the cross for that sin, so that we can live forever with god and jesus, and probably the holy ghost and a bunch of fucking angels and shit, in this perfect fairytale kingdom somewhere up in the sky. First of all, we're humans, and so far with the technology we have, we can keep a sack of flesh and bones alive for a little over a hundred years. Even longer if it's just a brain and eyes on life support, like they did to cain in robocop 2. It's not quite forever, but hey, we're working on it. Second of all, you are a child still if you even think of believing this stuff. Now that I'm older and I've experienced the world and everything it has to offer, I can tell you that all this religion stuff is man made B S, continued on through the ages as a way of controlling large groups of people, created to fill a gap in ournbsp;consciousness, when we think about the who, what, where, when, how, and why questions of our existence. It's much nicer for some people to fool themselves into thinking there is a higher power out there that really gives a shit about some rat on a planet it supposedly created millennianbsp;ago. Also, ifnbsp;Jesusnbsp;is the son of god, he couldn't be killed... He could turn into a man, but then he's a man, who CAN be killed. How does that logic work? If that's the case, he didn't feel a god damn thing, and we shouldn't really feel sorry for him when he supposedly got beaten and then cruicified. So when he died, did he become immortal again? Does he still have his super "water into wine" powers when he's in man form or just in god form? I'm just trying to clarify a few things here. I'm sorry, but you can't set the laws of physics in motion then break them whenever you want. I mean I guess if you're god, you can do that, but then what's going on now? Did you get bored and forget about us? You supposedly made some pretty large promises way back in the day, I don't think your followers would appreciate you breaking those promises now. Honestly, I would much rather live in a world where there really is a god that exists and rules over people, and demands our respect, honor, and our first ten percent, and in return does cool stuff for us, but I'm afraid that's just not the case. I would also love a world where we're all super tall, wicked buff, blue, and we can plug our weird hair thing into just about anything else on the planet, but that is also, as some people found out the h... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1794 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1794#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:45:09 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1794 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1794 0 80:06 "This was more interesting than any interview we did that day." I think we need to all take a minute, step back and look at what's ... "This was more interesting than any interview we did that day." I think we need to all take a minute, step back and look at what's going on. We have, for far too long, let the people in power take control and run this world we all live on, into the ground. Of course it all has to do with that age old quote, "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely." I don't know what it is about being a human that makes us so power hungry, but when we get it, we get it bad. Perhaps it's the whole thing about how we like controlling other people, but at the same time, the more we control others, the less we are able to control ourselves. Words to live by right? I think the government has split the people up too much, which nbsp;creates a society where, instead of working together to solve a problem, we work againstnbsp;each other, which in turn, creates even more problems. Of course, this is exactly what the government wants. If we the people are busy fighting withnbsp;each other, we don't notice the bigger picture. It never even crosses our mind that maybe we're being completely distracted for a reason. We're staring at the left hand, making sure it's not doing anything evil, meanwhile the right hand is sharpening a knife, about to plunge it into our collective backs. So what do we do to fix this? My guess is to just reset and start over, keeping in mind the knowledge we have accumulated during the last go around. You know, we don't want to make the same mistakes over and over and over again like we seem to be currently doing. Because guess what, if we don't start making some serious changes, real quick like, we aren't going to have a planet to live on, or a chance to start over. Nature always has a way of righting itself, and if we don't do something about it soon, our efforts will be too little, too late. Daylight savings time is ridiculous. I can't believe we're still doing that. Now I present to you, Keith Malley and Chemda Kahili, also known as Keith and The Girl. They wrote a book, it's called, "What Do We Do Now?" and it's a great read. If you have ever been in, or plan on being in a relationship, you will need this book. We will also have a contest to give away two autographed copies of the book, to two lucky Jamhole listeners. Keep checking back and listening to the show to find out how you can win. Listen as Keith and The Girl try to fix Dana and my relationship. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it right? Oh wait, I just found a crack. I am in fact, a master madman in the sack. Don't let the calm and cool fool you, I'm crazy. The problem isn't that the sex is bad, the sex is in fact, mind blowing. Which is why I want to fuck all the time. Maybe if the sex was shitty, Inbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;want it all the time. Cheering Dana up takes a different approach than cheering me up. Who would have thought? So communication is key right? And who the fuck is Brent? He apparently never forgets. You might want to look into a good dentist Brent. If I get mad or upset, all I need is some good weed and a jerk session, and I'm back to normal. If only it worked this well for everyone. So I'm a fucking fag child who can't sit still and needs to bust nuts daily, and she's a dike bitch. Soooo, what do we do now? I love you baby! All the worlds problems can't be solved by fishing. In other news, on the show Dana said she only has one friend, but her facebook and myspace page beg to differ. You have way more friends than that. There is a time and place for certain jokes, and apparently my timing sucks. If you have a podcast and you would like to interview Keith and Chemda about their new book, "What Do We Do Now," email info@keithandthegirl.com So after all that, we have finally come to a compromise. Life is once again good. And if you bet that I was NOT going to have sex this evening after the show, you are dead wrong. We had the freakiest most awesome suck and fuck session we've probably ever had. The roof, the ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1790 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1790#comments Sat, 13 Mar 2010 06:50:29 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1790 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1790 0 85:52 "I was playing the numbers game because you were being a cunt." It's that time of year again, where the clocks change an hour, fucking up ... "I was playing the numbers game because you were being a cunt." It's that time of year again, where the clocks change an hour, fucking up my sleep cycle. Thanks guys, just as I was starting to get somewhat used to waking up at the time I need to wake up in order to get to work on time, you go and switch the clocks on us. According to the wiki entry, daylight savings was firstnbsp;proposednbsp;in 1895 by George Vernon Hudson, so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Once again, this is a testament to the human race trying to play god. I bet you think you're really clever, switching the clocks to squeeze out that extra hour of daylight after you get off work, meanwhile wreaking such havoc on our internal biological clocks. I would be really careful if you have a girlfriend or wife that is approaching menopause. If you fuck with the biological clock too much, you run the possibility of breaking the whole damn thing... If you know what I mean. The next thing you know, she's on your back crying while at the same time explaining to you how she needs to have babies like there's no tomorrow. Tick tock, tick tock. I bet back in 1895 when good ol George thought of this idea, he never thought of the negative repercussions it could have on countless generations to come. Thanks again George! Why don't we just put the clocks back two hours, or three or four even, I mean fuck, why stop there? We're the ones that invented the idea of monitoring time passing, we can do whatever the fuck we want with it. Like in my house for instance, the clocks always say 4:20. Happy birthday to Hack.Planet from the forums. Party time! For his 17th birthday, we brought him on the show, and made fun of him for not being able to talk into a microphone properly. It's easier to type in the chat isn't it? Katg.com/book. It's funny. Buy it. Also, Keith and Chemda will be on the Jamhole Monday evening to talk about their new book, "What Do We Do Now?" Also, keep an eye out for ways you can win an autographed copy of the book. If this book can help our relationship, you know it's good. Who would have thought a place called Grizzly Jacks would have a hip hop ladies night on Thursdays. Nice work guys. If you wanna check out their sites, you can see Poppa Pill and Lyrical aka Shaun on myspace. Thank you for crashing Ustream, and to Danni for blatantly pointing it out. So basically I feel bad for the fat chicks that were there, because all the guys were hitting on the just kind of fat chicks. Honestly, it's only about a 20 pound difference. You're almost there ladies. Brayden totally rats me out for trying to get one of my ex girlfriends to come back to the valley. It's called playing the numbers game. It's called life. Thanks Bro! Let's talk about the life of a 17 year old in school. You get an F in IT Essentials, and you want to study computers? It's not all world of warcraft is it? You actually have to study stuff. Another quick MPP news update. Legalize it motherfucker! Don't take ambien and try to stay awake. It will turn rectangles into triangles. Why are all the young people insomniacs? I blame the MMORPG's. WWJD??!? Question 29, the great persuader. We all have some skeletons in our closets right? His just so happens to have little molested children skeletons in his. The courts now show that Thimerosal does not cause autism. You just now figured this out? Let's all try and keep up please. Even more child molestation by those who preach the good word of god! Holy moly, am I right or am I right? It's 2010 and we still allow this kind of shit to go on. Shooting yourself in the nuts. That is all... Has anyone seen James Brown? Or his body at least, because it seems to have gone missing. Maybe you should have buried him sooner huh? Everyone wants a piece of that James Brown money. Going to jail because you raped, then tried to kill a two year old. Not just any two year old, but your son! That was your son, and ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1786 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1786#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:35:32 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1786 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1786 0 85:34 "Yep, we saw that one coming." Just when I thought the city I lived in was starting to get educated on the whole medical marijuana thing, ... "Yep, we saw that one coming." Just when I thought the city I lived in was starting to get educated on the whole medical marijuana thing, and starting to make good choices that will move the community forward, they come out and pull this kind of crap. Basically to sum up the story and to save you from having to read the whole thing, it states that the city ordinance will be amended to prohibit any new medical marijuana dispensaries from operating within city limits. You know, the same city limits that allows bars, casinos, and payday loan places to operate on every fucking block, and near the very same parks where your children go to play. This is our great city leaders making it loud and clear that they consider medical marijuana a greater threat to the community than everything I have just listed. You know, even though people have been smoking pot for all sorts of reasons since the plant was first discovered to be so fucking awesome, it still has not been directly responsible for one single death. Amazing right? So it seems Kalispell's planning director, Tom Jentz, is more worried about Kalispell's image with tourists than he is with helping sick dying people get the proper medicine they need. So let me get this straight Tom, you are taking the side of people who come visit and help our economy ONLY during tourist season, instead of something that could help the cities dying economy all year around? I think someone needs to sit down with Tom and go over the numbers, because that is completely ridiculous and counter productive. He also seems to be worried about state and federal law, but I highly suspect that is just an excuse, especially considering the fact that the state law allows medical marijuana, and the Obama Administration announced they will not prosecute medical marijuana cases at the federal level. It seems the leaders of our city are worried what will happen if a different administration steps in and once again tightens the federal laws. I firmly believe that by worrying about those things, you are once again holding up forward progress. The people have spoken, numerous times, but it seems the city is refusing to listen. Which is silly, especially in a city that seems to be as broke as it's inhabitants are, maybe you would want to evolve and embrace these new ways to make money. Especially since there are more pot smoking voters than non, and we WILL remember this come time for re election. If you won't do the job, we'll elect officials that will. You should also feel lucky that we are even offering you the chance to tax the weed we smoke. I have never had a problem finding weed in this valley allegedly, and that was back when the laws were strict. Sure it's nice now, not having to worry about it, and the quality of the weed is the best I've ever seen, but like I said, I'm allegedly smoking either way. Basically it comes down to this. No matter what you do, the people that want to smoke weed, are going to smoke weed. That's all there is to it. If you want to waste a shitload of tax payer money to prosecute these people who have for the most part, always been productive members of society, then that's your problem. All you are doing is instilling a distrust and distaste for the officials that are making these ridiculous city ordinances. Remember back in the day when the city made an ordinance outlawing skateboarding within the city limits? Remember how well that worked out? You are making the exact same mistake all over again. It seems that for people who think themselves quite educated, you are all making very poor decisions on how to handle this. Maybe it's time for a changing of the guard, to more modernized people who know how to run a city properly. Thanks for the snow again. I thought we were done with that shit. So THIS will be the last snow... Right? The keith and the girl book is OUT!!! Fuck yea, you should all go buy a copy, it's so fucking funny, and helpful, at the same fucking time. Here's th podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1781 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1781#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:30:36 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1781 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1781 2 84:53 "I'm an asshole for even offering you that." I'm really getting sick and tired of all these crazy unicorns running rampant in our valley. There are ... "I'm an asshole for even offering you that." I'm really getting sick and tired of all these crazy unicorns running rampant in our valley. There are few things that annoy me more than walking down the street, or driving down the road, and all of the sudden tripping over or having to swerve out of the way because some crazynbsp;recklessnbsp;unicornnbsp;materializesnbsp;out of nowhere right where I just happened to be. Talk about a bad case of wrong place, wrong time. Unicorns have wonderful evaporative properties. They always think they are so high and might, shitting magical fairy dust, ejaculating the cure to HIV out of their large magical unicorn dick and nuts, and shooting laser beams out of the candy cane dick horn protruding out of their forehead. Don't even get me started on the uniporn. The internet was created as a quick and efficient way to share knowledge and information with eachnbsp;other. I mean seriously, how did humans share magical spells and mystical cures with each other back before the age of the internet? How the fuck did people praise the good name of the Lord and Savoir Jesus Christ before the internet? How did the good citizens of Internet consume media back in the day? That's what I call old school. I was lucky enough to have been born before the internet was part of our collectivenbsp;reality. I vaguely remember the time before the internet, when people had tonbsp;actuallynbsp;go out and socially interact with people in order to add them tonbsp;theirnbsp;friends list. It was a dark and troubled time, but we had a light atnbsp;thenbsp;end of the tunnel, and that light, is what we all know, love and cherish today as the internet. I firmly believe in my heart of hearts, that the unicorns are corrupting our perfectly pure mother internet, and they are turning her into nothing more than a cesspool and a breeding ground for sexual deviants, heathens, and non magical believers alike. Something must be done about this before the problem is beyond our ability to solve. Judgement day approaches, what will you wear? I am my own biggest fan. Happy birthday to Chris from Annas NY Pizza! I love partying at the restaurant! Especially when my other option is watching the second Twilight movie. NAH DUDE! Weird it didn't get very good ratings on the IMDB. Check out the 250 live audience show we did! It will be the best five bucks you'll probably ever spend, until our next live audience show! Kids these days are doing some wicked crazy weird shit. Please allow me to explain. Titty tats for everyone! If you are going to pierce, make sure it'snbsp;symmetrical. Seize the night! You know who else is a carpe noctum? Hey Brayden, she was made for you brohound! Tang is apparently street slang for suboxone. Probably not a good idea to snort. If anyone knows what drugs are good to do and how, it's this guy right here. Trust me... Google places is a great app for the Droid. If you live in the Flathead Valley, check out the local attractions... If you need to find a good casino. Speaking of the Droid, let's talk a little geek tech. Redfox calls in to get schooled on the Droid. Hey Verizon, you're welcome, you can pay me by taking money off my phone bill. When buying a mobile device, you should base your decision on it's ability to make custom ringtones. That's what's really important. Every song is called Blah Blah Blah. That's all I hear on the radio. Blah Blah Blah. Are you even trying anymore? Speaking of gay, guess who came out of the closet? That's right, apparently Roy Ashburn likes penis in his mouth and / or asshole. Yet another hypocritical senator admits he's a huge flaming HOMO. My question is, how many straight senators are there? I mean, really straight... Danni doesn't really dig twat... Now that I think of it, she doesn't really dig dick either. WWJD??!?? Question number 27 The magical slapping hands. This one was the best so far, in my opinion, and as always, you can join the discussio... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1774 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1774#comments Sat, 06 Mar 2010 06:00:29 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1774 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1774 0 108:48 "There is no god, eat shit." With all the messed up shit happening in the world today, I'm very pleased you all find the time to ... "There is no god, eat shit." With all the messed up shit happening in the world today, I'm very pleased you all find the time to take an hour or two out of your busy schedule to come listen and laugh with us three days a week. Back when I first started this podcast, I had no idea it would become such a prominent part of my life. Some people do shows as a hobby, while others incorporate it into their lives, so much in fact, that it becomes an integral part of the day to day grind. I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and he asked me how I manage to keep sane after reading all the books I read, and realizing how seriously fucked up the world we live in is. I told him first of all, I'm not that sane, I just hide it very well, and second of all, it helps tremendously having an outlet like the Jamhole podcast. I feel bad for people who realize how corrupt and fucked up things are, but have no platform to let it all out. Honestly, my head would explode if I couldn't write or speak to you all like I do on this show. There are a lot of people out there who think the same way I do, and I'm amazed they don't kill people more often. Everything about the world as it is today is trying to take advantage of people who are a little worse off than they are. You have churches trying to indoctrinate children before they are old enough to know what religion is. You have homeopathic con artists trying to get you and your whole family on a strictnbsp;regimentnbsp;of bullshit sugar pills, making you think that you are making your body more healthy, when in reality, the body was doing just fine on it's own, before you shelled out hundreds of dollars for a placebo effect. You have chiropractors dreaming up new ways to keep you coming back to them, preaching the subluxation idea. Would you let a chiropractor pop your baby's back? Let's get real here. I mean seriously? You have the government who we put there to help us and protect us, trying to fuck us out of anything and everything they can, meanwhile other countries' governments are trying to do the same exact thing. Who can you trust? I firmly believe that if we would all stop trying to fuck each other over, and started working together, we would be a lot further down the evolutionary path than we are right now. Hell, sometimes it might seem like we're actually moving backwards. Which is funny to me, because everyone is trying their hardest to get as much money and power as they can for themselves, they fail to realize the big picture. It's a very counterproductive way to live your life, unless of course, you were born into riches, then it probably doesn't matter much. You have no idea what it's like to have to work for everything you have. You have no clue what it feels like not knowing where your next meal is going to come from. Granted, I don't live like that either, but I'm living paycheck to paycheck just like the majority of you are doing. I can appreciate everything I've created, because it wasn't just handed to me. I worked my fucking ass off to get where I am today, and then I take a step back to take it all in, and I realize that I'm really not doing that great. I mean again, not in the great scheme of things at least. But try as we might, we make it day after day, week after week, month after month, and when it's all said and done, we return to the dirt. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, or so they say. What beautiful weather we're having! Makes my dick get hard. Of course you should all be watching the live shows from thejamhole.com/live or on the ustream app for your android or iphone mobile device. You can also check out the jamhole ustream account to watch the archive videos of the live shows. I hate the neighbors yappy little fucking dog, especially first thing in the morning. Hit snooze on that fucker. Neither here nor there, but the dodgeball team I was banned from, hasn't won a game since I got kicked off the team. Like I said, just saying... Don't be surp... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1770 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1770#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:00:35 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1770 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1770 2 86:18 "Don't get married on super bowl fucking Sunday." Score some more holy points for the religious holy rollers, as if they needed anymore. The recent ignorance ... "Don't get married on super bowl fucking Sunday." Score some more holy points for the religious holy rollers, as if they needed anymore. The recent ignorance portrayed by the self righteous sheep in their pamphlet entitled, "Women #38; Girls" is simply apalling. Just when you think there is no way in hell these people could get any more intrusive, any more obtuse, any more in your face with issues that no one in their right mind should give a shit about, they go and print up this ridiculousness. You can read the whole story for yourself, but basically, it goes a little something like this. A car with two men in the front and a woman in the back seat go through the drive through at a Hi-Lo Burger in Bristol Virginia, waited on by Keshia Cantor, who was wearing boots pulled up over jeans, a pink zebra-print shirt with a black jacket zipped up over it. She has blond hair, dark eye make-up and a little red lip ring. You may be thinking to yourself, so fucking what? Sounds like every other normal teenage girl that works fast food in our society. As the car pulls up to the window to pay for their food, the lady in the back seat reaches up and hands Keshia a pamphlet. As she does this, she says, "Even though nothing is showing, yoursquo;re being ungodly" and "You make men want to be sinful." Taken aback by these ridiculous statements in the pamphlet, Keshia finishes up the order and closes the window. Basically the pamphlet states that the sins of men are in part, the fault of women, specifically women in tight clothing. Because you know, we have absolutely no self control when we are faced with a sexy girl wearing sexy clothes. So what about all the priests that molest children? Are the children to blame for wearing provocative clothing, tempting these childnbsp;molesting "men of god?" Leave it to the hardcore religious followers to have a thought process that stimulates such ridiculous thoughts as this. So thenbsp;pamphletnbsp;goes on to say that, "Some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly." Seriously? I mean is it April first? This has to be some kind of joke right? Nay my friends, it is no joke. There is so much wrong with this line of thinking, I don't have the space to cover it all in the notes here. We will discuss this further on the Friday episode of the Jamhole. I just wanted to point out the flawed logic here, as if you all really needed me to. What I really get a kick out of is, the pamphlet was signed anonymous. Almost like the religious organization that created the pamphlet was ashamed at how ignorant they were being, but for some reason, they just had to get it out there. Un-fucking-believable. What will they think of next? Oh wait, I know, why don't you work on making accidental miscarriages illegal in Utah. Oh wait, too late... No one beats are rates. Really? I would have loved to be there when they thought that was a good idea. Silly people in Libby. Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind. Is this for real or complete bullshit? What scared you as a child? Fire in the Sky was one that really fucked with my head. I also used to check the toilet fornbsp;piranhas after I saw that movie as a child. I don't want to live in Florida, Danni doesn't want to live in Montana. One of us is going to have to bite the bullet, can you guess who it's going to be? I do apologize for being selfish, like I said, I should be happy for her that she gets to move where she wants to live. If you cut your finger off while working in a kitchen, you should probably make sure you recover the lost digit before serving any food you were making. Just saying... This is why I don't eat at Ihop's. Let me give you a quick science lesson. Carnivores eat herbivores andnbsp;omnivores, omnivores eat herbivores and carnivores, and herbivores are huge pussies. Also, don't eat seafood in a land locked state. The choking game is making it's way to New Zealand! Hey kids, if you want to get high, DO DRUGS! It rea... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1765 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1765#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:00:00 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1765 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1765 1 77:18 "That's not progress, that's a lie." All good things must come to an end. I've been giving this whole moving thing quite a bit of thought. ... "That's not progress, that's a lie." All good things must come to an end. I've been giving this whole moving thing quite a bit of thought. Honestly, I can't see myself having to start all over again, when I'm doing ok right here. I shouldn't be selfish though, I should be happy that Danni is going to be able to live where she wants to live. I was angry at first, a tidal wave of abandonment issues washing over me, angry that she would just drop everything and follow her parents back to Florida. Angry because I feel like she is leaving me and the show without a second thought. But like I said, that was me being selfish, and for the most part, I know that I should be happy for her. Life tends to get lived in cycles, or chapters. Every now and then you get to a point in life, where the chapter is finished, and you need to start the next one. We had a great time together, and we will always have those memories, but it seems that it's time to move on. Of course, I don't want to spend the rest of my life here in Kalispell Montana, but I'm not quite ready yet to pack it all up and leave. If you listen to the show, you'll know that the job I have now is the longest I've ever kept a job for, and it's one of those things that only get offered to you once or twice a lifetime. Most people work jobs that don't even know their name, just another paper pushing number in a computer server somewhere. I'm lucky to have a job that I actually somewhat enjoy doing. In my head, it seems silly to have to start all over again. I would do almost anything for Danni, but packing up everything and moving to follow her parents across the country just isn't one of those things. It would be different if they were moving somewhere else, but I've lived in Florida, and it's not the climate or locale that I want to call home. Whenever things change, you should always try and make the new better than the old. For instance, when you break up with your girlfriend, you should always try to trade up. Whenever you get a new car, you should always try to pick something a little better than what you were previously driving. I think about it the same way with where you live. If you are going to go through all the trouble of packing up your entire life, to go settle down somewhere new, the new place should be better than the place you were living. If not, then what's the point? Anyways, I apologize to Danni for being a dick, I'm just upset that I am going to have to find a new girlfriend, and another co host. The two things I hoped to never have to do again. This town doens't have the best track record for finding a girl that doesn't have or want to have any children. I just need to make the best out of the time I have left with her, say a prayer to whom it may concern that her parents house doesn't sell, and look forward to the next chapter in my life. Here's the news, Danni's parents are paying her to leave me... Just kidding, they wanted me to come with, but that's just something I can't do right now. But who knows, if I could see the future, I wouldn't be a delivery guy. If you're a rich fuck, right now is the perfect time to be scoping out new locations. Sure, living off your parents seems like a good idea. It usually never is... Enjoy the show while you can, because the future is uncertain. No offense to anyone in Florida, but it is a breeding ground for lots of things I don't like. Namely mosquitos and humidity. Thanks for taking time off from the Katg 75 hour marathon to promote their new book, which you can find here. I'm broke, so buy me a copy, maybe it will save our relationship. nbsp;By the way, in 75 hours, how many times did Ustream crash for you? It crashes usually twice an hour for us. This must be called a herpe, because that's what everyone says. Everyone is a comedian lately. Kalispell fun fact: The general manager of Famous Daves allegedly has herpes simplex one. Herpes is never funny. Windows Vista service pack two is a huge... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1763 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1763#comments Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:08:52 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1763 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1763 1 5:20 Here is the footage from the last game Mat was allowed to play in. If you notice me acting like I should get kicked off ... Here is the footage from the last game Mat was allowed to play in. If you notice me acting like I should get kicked off the team, please let me know. We sum up from start to finish how having a little fun and making a video of guys and girls playing dodgeball can get you not only kicked off the dodgeball team, but banned from the boys and girls club. I did get my money back, so no hard feelings, although I am a little dissapointed I don't get to help take my team to a flawless victory. They lost game 3 by the way, coincidence? Probably not. At least I got to end the season with a perfect record. Mcnally did a great job editing the footage, so if you have a minute, check out keithcourage.com and show him some love. Mcnally, you do good work sir. This video was filmed by Danni on Tuesday, February 16th 2010, and you can thank her for the close ups of guys this time... You know, to be fair. I think the score for this game was 11 to 5, but it could have been 10 to 6, depending on who you ask. Did I mention we won this game also? This is the last video in the Jamhole Dodgeball series, especially considering NO ONE is allowed to film in the boys and girls club anymore. You can probably thank us for that. Well, and the lovely lady who manages the place. So enjoy this on the go with your mobile media consumption device, or click the more link and check it out on youtube. Remember to rate the videos and pass them around to your friends. videocast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1759 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1759#comments Sat, 27 Feb 2010 06:45:44 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1759 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1759 0 92:43 "If she was ugly, I guarantee shenbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;be alive right now." Another week down, another week ahead. I have absolutely nothing to say, it's late Sunday and ... "If she was ugly, I guarantee shenbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;be alive right now." Another week down, another week ahead. I have absolutely nothing to say, it's late Sunday and I've been shitting my brains out. I appreciate it when Danni buys a tub of ice cream, and I eat it in two days. Sometimes I think she does that on purpose. She likes it when I suffer, crapping my life essence into the toilet, swearing to never again eat ice cream. I always do though. I can't help it. It's my curse I suppose. Uncontrollably eating ice cream, and having an opinion on unproven idealogical concepts. Thank you for getting me sick. I feel much better now. Look how healthy Danni is now! Except that she caught whatever I had. Enjoy that. By the way, we had the best sex in a long time on Saturday night. I just wanted you to know that. Please refer back to episode 314 as we now go through the show notes. Have you noticed all the chiropractic places in town? Weird, I did too. I should be more clear when I make blanket statements. Are those hiccups? Nice. Do you have a website? NOPE! But thanks for trying to get me fired. I am not an expert on the ancient healing art of chiropractic. Please now refer to the show notes for episode 315. I gotta take a pretty decent size dump. If you give a shit what I have to say, I'll give a shit what you have to say. Usually... Why are you so mad about a blog post? Have you read the other stuff online? It's not just me. WWJD??!? Number 23, would you give up the internet for a world free of quackery and religion? Sure, why the fuck not. You are wasting money on bullshit. How can he tell what's wrong with your screaming baby by having the baby hold onto a 1/4 inch audio jack? There is NOTHING in the magic box. I'm sorry, your baby has subluxated vertebrate. Let me sell you some highly diluted homeopathic bullshit remedy and give you a referral to the chiropractor. Jenny McCarthy is still an idiot. News flash! I'm blown away she remembers to breath. Here's the current body count, compliments of Jenny McCarthy and her awful advice. Medicine didn't make your kid autistic, you did. Redfox calls in with some breaking news. Jenny McCarthy discovers her son does not have autism. He outgrew his autism. How wonderful. Speaking of epic fail, everyones favorite unconstitutional bill has been renewed. Privacy is dead, and you killed it. I guess we didn't learn the first time. If you have a miscarriage in Utah, you are probably going to jail. If you were thinking of leaving Utah, now would be a good time. A miscarriage is god saying, "Not yet honey." Pretending to be a chick on facebook to get pictures of naked dudes. Then using the pictures to blackmail the dudes into FULL SEX. Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes. The latest weapon in the fight against HIV.... in Zimbabwe... Circumcision! That explains why I'm aids free! If you would have kept an eye on your kids, your five year old might not have stabbed your two year old. Just saying... Times is rough in Detroit. That's motherfucking amityville nigga. Having lots of protected sex at the winternbsp;Olympics. Should have brought more condoms. How many gold medals do you have? I traded all mine for cash... And crack. Feeding your rottweiler a five year old. The dog got his head like a football. What is up with you lately saying if it was my kid. BECAUSE THE STORY HAD A KID IN IT. Sometimes you say dumb things. Way to end on a high note. If you have some spare paypal monies, or some tax money, send it our way to the store or the donate link. podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1755 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1755#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:00:57 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1755 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1755 2 83:58 "If you're abused at home, you can tell me." It was brought to my attention this morning that perhaps I am not an expert on the ... "If you're abused at home, you can tell me." It was brought to my attention this morning that perhaps I am not an expert on the ancient healing art of chiropractic. Perhaps when I sat down to write the show notes, google was only returning the results for half of the story. Perhaps I was just in a hurry, and seeings how these are notes for a comedy talk show, perhaps no one would really care about mynbsp;insignificantnbsp;scribblings. I didn't really plan on actual board certified, life saving, mystical healing chiropractorsnbsp;reading my silly little blog and taking offense at my lack of research. It would seem that before I dismiss something as a scam, I should take better care to find ALL of the evidence I can. Sometimes it just isn't enough relying on your favorite board certified doctors and skeptics. Sometimes you have to get your evidence straight from the source. Again, if I thought I was going to be critiqued by someone in the field, I would have spent a little more time on it. Perhaps I should just stick to delivering water and leave the mystical woo debunking to the professionals. But you know I can't help myself. SO.... I took another hour or so out of my day to do some more research on the matter of chiropractic subluxations. The funny thing is, the more I searched, the more it doesn't look good for thenbsp;chiropractors. Of course, this is all open to change if they ever come up with some conclusive evidence that states otherwise, but so far, every single piece of literature I came across basically said what I had initially written and linked to in the monday show notes. I'm sorry, there just isn't any conclusive evidence that suggests this is a real thing. Kind of like god right? Anyways, You also have to understand, I have absolutely no stake in this at all. I am simply trying to find somewhat interesting things to write about three days a week, and this is just something I heard mentioned on another podcast by a very respectable doctor. I just so happened to notice that the town I live in has a lot of this "chiropractic healing" going on, so I figured it was fair game. So again, I present to you, my more in depth findings on chiropractic subluxations... Let's start back in February 2004. There was a study done in the Journal of Manipulative Physiological Therapeutics entitled Chiropractic Manipulation and Acute Neck Pain: A Review of the Evidence. "There has been scant investigative research into the treatment of acute neck pain with chiropractic manipulation. Consequently, more data are needed and appropriate studies should be initiated." --Michael T. Haneline, DC, MPH So no problem there, perhaps they just haven't had enough time to collect the data they need to say one way or another. I mean let's be serious, this art of "healing" has only been around for a little over 100 years. Just give them more time. Let's fast forward to June of 2008 and see if they've collected any more convincing evidence... "At present there is no evidence-based indication for chiropractic neck manipulation. There are many claims made for this procedure, that it can cure migraine or other headaches being the most common, but the evidence does not support such claims. Straight chiropractors ndash; those who believe in the ideology that a magical life energy they call ldquo;innate intelligencerdquo; is necessary for health, and that most or all disease is caused by the blockage of innate intelligence. They manipulate the spine, including the neck, in order to relieve imagined subluxations and free the flow in innate intelligence. This form of chiropractic is pure pseudoscience." -- Dr. Steven Novella, MD Hmmm, still nothing huh? Trust me, it's not that I didn't look, it's just that there is no such thing. Like I said, if there is evidence, please explain it to me, I'm not an expert by any means, I'm just curious. Just in case you are still shaking your head, perhaps a little upset that you've wasted quite a bit... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1748 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1748#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:45:48 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1748 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1748 8 86:36 "Here's a good bathroom that's private, I'm gonna go jerk it." I am sick of seeing all these chiropractor offices open up in the valley here. ... "Here's a good bathroom that's private, I'm gonna go jerk it." I am sick of seeing all these chiropractor offices open up in the valley here. It's getting seriously out of control, and I feel like I need to address it. So I present to you, my thoughts on chiropractic and the scam that is subluxations. Have you ever been to anbsp;chiropractor? If not, I'm almost positive you at least know someone who has been to, or is seeing a chiropractor on a regular basis. Being a delivery guy, I go into quite a few of these offices, and the one thing I noticed that's odd to me, is that they all have posters, or videos playing about subluxations. My spell check doesn't even know what the fuck a subluxation is, which leads me to believe there might be some bullshit involved. It's always a bad sign when I know I've spelled something right, yet my spell check insists that it has no idea what the fuck I just typed. Ok, so the quick run down from quackwatch on subluxations is as follows: "Chiropractic theory is rooted in the notions of Daniel David Palmer, a grocer and "magnetic healer" who postulated that the basic cause of disease was interference with the body's nerve supply. Approximately a hundred years ago, he concluded that "A subluxated vertebrae... is the cause of 95 percent of all diseases... The other five percent is caused by displaced joints other than those of the vertebral column." He proclaimed that subluxations interfered with the body's expression of "Innate Intelligence"mdash;the "Soul, Spirit, or Spark of Life" that controlled the healing process. He proposed to remedy the gamut of disease by manipulating or "adjusting" the problem areas." I like to think we have come a long way since Daniel Palmer's days, but then I go outside. Never underestimate the ridiculousness of things you can trick people into believing. Hell, if you're really good at it, you can even trick people into paying you money for bullshit diagnosis and treatment. Of course, some chiropractors say you can actually see the subluxation on x-ray, others say you cannot. It's never good to have such differing views on something in the same field. Keystone Light can't say that Pabst causes liver damage, yet Keystone is just fine for you. It's kind of like how different versions of the same basic religion will contradict themselves within the same sect. Don't they know how counterproductive that is? So we basically have this thing that makes you really sick, but it's not a germ of any kind, and you can, and you cannot see it on x-rays, depending on hownbsp;delusionalnbsp;you are. Chiropractors also argue over how to find the subluxations, and where the subluxations are located. "In addition to seeing them on x-ray films, chiropractors say they can find them by: (a) feeling the spine with their hand, (b) measuring skin temperature near the spine with an instrument, (c) concluding that one of the patient's legs is "functionally" longer than the other, (d) studying the shadows produced by a device that projects a beam of light onto the patient's back, (e) weighing the patient on special scales, and/or (f)nbsp;detecting "nerve irritation" with a device.nbsp;Undercover investigations in which many chiropractors have examined the same patient have found that the diagnoses and proposed treatments differed greatly from one practitioner to another." So now the subluxations are on the move right? Up in my brain causingnbsp;aneurysms, down to my lungs for somenbsp;emphysema, into the pancreas for a little cancer, then back down to my dick to give me a good solid case of erectile dysfunction. Maybe the next timenbsp;chiropractorsnbsp;think they are getting setup, use a permanent marker and put a small dot where you say the subluxation is, that way the next chiropractor can find it. With everyone slowly attempting to give a fuck about their health, it's very easy to be suckered into these scams. Especially when they release pamphlets that say, "A chiroprac... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1732 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1732#comments Sat, 20 Feb 2010 06:00:20 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1732 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1732 0 98:33 "The pickle has won!" Check this shit out. I had to work Saturday, Sunday was spent trying to help ease the eye strain for those of ... "The pickle has won!" Check this shit out. I had to work Saturday, Sunday was spent trying to help ease the eye strain for those of you who enjoy reading the show notes on the site. I changed some of the CSS, made things a little easier to find, and since I do it trial and error style, it took me most of the night to do. Not to mention working on some other projects with my brother, and trying to write a motherfucking rhyme or two every now and then, this is what you get for notes. I am slowly appreciating the fact that the Jamhole forums is on the ning network, and not made from phpbb, because that shit is a pain in the ass. Can we please just stick with one language? No, of course not, fuck me. So here I sit, one thirty on the clock, flashing at me like I'm some sort of idiot. Hopefully one day we'll have the resources to be able to hire professional coders to code my shit for me, but until then, this is what you get. If you don't like it, then maybe you should learn how to code, and take the steps to make this motherfucker shine. I'm delirious, horny, itchy, and boring, all at the same time. Oh yea, and I really want a ciggy, but for some strange reason, I can't seem to take my eyes off this god forsaken screen. Like I've forgotten something. What could it be? If you find a problem with what I've done on the site, please email info@thejamhole.com or use that sweet little spam free form on the about us page. Also, I'm really digging astronomycast's idea of having listenersnbsp;send post cards, so we can get a better idea of where our audience is in the world. Like a quick little game of where's waldo. You can do that straight to the po box, no problem, right now! So I'm trying to figure out a way to get to defcon, if you wanna party, and have some extra funds, check out the donate page. You should also probably check out the Jamhole 250 show, and the Book of Matthew. One is our first live audience show, the other is my first hip hop cd. Get them both, you dig? Also make sure you are a member of the forums. That way you know what's going on, and we can count you. I like counting, as long as I'm not counting crows. Let's end on a high note shall we? You know Thursday, February 18th 2010 was our two year anniversary of The Jamhole, the most tasteless piece of media we've ever subjected ourselves to. Congrats! People seem to enjoy Marc being on the show, we'll see if we can keep him on every now and then. Thanks for the feedback. We are five years apart, and yes, we know we look alike, thank you. Mike writes in to give us the inside scoop on jake brakes. Do we have any other truckers out there listening? Email info@thejamhole.com and let us know, or of course, use the contact form on the about us page. Remember that lawyer office with the dog in it? He took a swipe at my hand, but my reactions are quicker than his. Please leave your dogs at home if you are in a small office. Or put the dog away if you know you're delivery guy is coming. Not everyone thinks your dog is as awesome as you do. A tragic premature end to the dodgeball season. Kicked off the team, then banned from the boys and girls club premises. Wow, so I guess we're NOT all adults here. I'm cool, as long as I get my refund. Also, keep an eye out for the game 2 video, the tragic finale of the two dodgeball games I played. Are we really tacky? Guess who's back? Back again, 40 days for life is back, tell a friend. So the first 120 days have been fruitless, this time god will listen. Here is the youtube clip of the little girl I was talking about. She never had a chance. You should all email trierw@bresnan.net and tell them to go away. Or pretend like you are going to have an abortion, and see if she can convince you not to. Record the call and send it to us. We'll compare notes. WWJD!?!?! Check out what wouldnbsp;Jamholenbsp;do question 20 on the forums. Would you tell? Join the Jamhole facebook group and the forums. We have numbers! The pic... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1728 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1728#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 06:00:21 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1728 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1728 0 92:32 "The boy has to walk on his own." I don't understand why the city here is having such a problem with the whole medical marijuana dispensary ... "The boy has to walk on his own." I don't understand why the city here is having such a problem with the whole medical marijuana dispensary thing. They went ahead and imposed a 90 day moratorium on any medical marijuana dispensaries in Kalispell that might want to open their doors for business. One of the main arguments is against a dispensary opening up right by woodland park in the old Kay Bridal shop. The mayor of Kalispell, Tammi Fisher, says she thinks the Woodland Park location is a horrible location for a dispensary. So what you are saying mayor, is that having a medical marijuana dispensary by a park where children play is a horrible thing, yet right next store to the dispensary is a bar, and that's just fine? That sounds good (sarcasm), lets lead by example and show our kids that alcohol, a drug that is legal, yet kills around 75,000 people a year and causes countless health problems is just fine, yet a plant that was made illegal for ridiculous reasons in the first place, that doesn't have any deaths or adverse health affects attributed to it, is a bad thing? You are out of your fucking mind. You should be so lucky to have something like this bringing in jobs and supplying good weed to people that need it. The people have spoken, and the only reason you have imposed this moratorium, whichnbsp;embarrassedlynbsp;passed 8 to 1 by the way, is so you can figure out how to get your grubby hands on some of that money they will bring in. How many ways can your little city council gang find to fuck us in the ass with no lube in the next 90 days? Why don't you put a moratorium on opening up more churches? I think we're well over our per capita quota for churches. I would like to say a huge thanks to Councilman Bob Hafferman who actually stood up for the rights of the people here in the city, and cast his vote saying, ldquo;I find nothing that mentions a medical marijuana business is violating any existing laws, Irsquo;m opposed to any action when a business is in violation of no laws.rdquo; Well said sir. The only violation I see here is the city, making it even harder for people to start up a new business, that's trying to breath some life into a long dead economy. Let's go ahead and keep on prescribing drugs that are more addictive than nicotine, creating junkies out of people who got hurt somehow, but let's keep a lid on anyone trying to smoke some harmless weed to ease their pain and stimulate their appetite. All eight of you who voted for this moratorium should be ashamed of yourselves. Check the new poll, those are Lisa Loeb glasses for sure. At least Danni can see now. Also, let's welcome my brother, Marc back to the Jamhole. Yes, my brother and I look and sound alike. We get that all the time, thank you. Hey church, why don't you give up lying to people for lent? Why don't you give up believing in fairy tales for lent? Or maybe catholic priests could give up molesting kids for lent? I know, that's old, but it still makes me laugh. All the radio stations here in the valley FUCKING SUCK. Hey morning zoo hosts, how do you sleep at night knowing the kind of bullshit content you put out over the airwaves? I'm amazed you get paid to do what you do. Hey hostpapa, you call yourself a web host? The SGU get a plug for their blogs being mentioned in the L.A. Times, and you shut their server down? That is unacceptablenbsp;behaviornbsp;for a web server host. I hope you learn your lesson before you go out of business. Please tell Danni she looks beautiful in her new glasses. Girls are so self conscious sometimes. Nice job chair lift operator at the big mountain. The one main thing you get paid to do, and you completely fail. It was funny as fuck, and we thank you for that, but that's your job, and you failed at it. Do your girlfriend a favor, and shave your pubes. Unless you are doing a penis comb over, then nevermind. Girls may not all like to suck dick, but they do it. We all have to do things we don't li... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1714 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1714#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 05:00:01 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1714 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1714 0 81:37 "I just did the million dollar psychic challenge." I was personally very excited for this episode, because it is the first time my brother has been ... "I just did the million dollar psychic challenge." I was personally very excited for this episode, because it is the first time my brother has been on mic. If you were at the live audience 250 show last September, you will have met him. It took a bit of calming talk, letting him know that microphones don't work like cameras, in as his soul would not be sucked out and converted into mp3 format. Actually, that's all it really took. See, rumors like that do hurt people. I understand that back in the day, when you killed a buffalo on a cold winter morning, sure it looked like the soul was escaping. But in the modern times we live in, we know that is simply not the case. We have come a long way with our intellectual capabilities in certain areas, yet in other areas, we are still sacrificing virgins and chasing ghosts. Did I mention I cracked my first WEP key? Damn straight... It was only a 64 bit key, and it was my router I hacked, but hey, you gotta start somewhere right? Also, we've been getting some great feedback on the Dodgeball Game 1 video, so I just wanted to thank Mcnally one more time, he is one hell of a video editor. Let's give my brother a warmnbsp;Jamholenbsp;welcome. Marc watched the movie hackers once when he was 6, and he's been hacking the planet ever since. This is also the brother I was talking about in the story where I shot him in the head with a bb gun. We are making it our goal in life to secure everynbsp;unsecurednbsp;network in the valley. With the proper permissions, of course. Verizon is ripping people off on every netbook they sell. Netbooks should not come with a contract for 3 g service, and a netbook should also NOT cost $900. Also, just FYI, a lady at thenbsp;Verizonnbsp;corporate store told us Verizon spent around two million dollars to secure their network. The network still isn't secure. When Marc and I are in public, we talk too loud. No, I will not help you fix your wifi network. Unless you pay me big bucks no whammies. And yes, you CAN tether your droid with the PDA-net app. So what did you get for Valentines Day? Nothing much, just an ALTER TO OUR LOVE, and a kitten. Some girls just can't be satisfied. Oh well... It sounds like I may have raped Danni for V-day. If I wanted you to eat chocolates, I would have gotten you chocolates. Take from that what you will. Why is the big purple dildo melting? I'm not a huge dildo professional, but something tells me dildo's shouldn't sweat like that. It's sweating lube. Which is weird. Danni continues getting taken advantage of while at work. Thank you fat bitch for calling my girlfriend in to work two hours early on Valentines Day just so she can do YOUR work. New rule, if Danni does YOUR work, she gets payed YOUR wage. Deal? Another corpse fucker gets awkwardly walked in on. Ok, it is what you think. The new Canibus album, "Melatonin Magik" is some pretty hot shit. I am curious as to why Can-i-bus has D12 on the track called, "Air Strike" totally dissing Eminem. I thought you guys were bros. The more I listen to this album, the more I really like it. Canibus spits some hot shit. Of course, you should all have watched the Dodgeball Game 1 video. Go rate and comment THE FUCK out of that motherfucker. Mcnally did an amazing job, and Danni did some good filming. Please don't expect me to edit anywhere near that good for the next dodgeball game videos. This is new to me, but let me google that for you. The best answer to any question anyone could ever ask you on the internet. WWJD?? Question 18, which ability would you rather have? I'll take the one that doesn't involve Samuel Jackson chasing me through teleportation worm holes. Wow Kevin Smith, you have really let yourself go. As far as fat fuck podcasters goes, you're the only one now giving Patrick from NLO a run for his money. What happened Kevin? You can't eat the pain away. Way to take the fight to twitter by the way. Sometimes you deserve the rape, sometimes, you ... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1708 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1708#comments Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:33:19 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1708 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1708 3 6:08 Well, here it is, a sport like no other. Dodgeball used to be my favorite gym class game back in grade school. Back then it ... Well, here it is, a sport like no other. Dodgeball used to be my favorite gym class game back in grade school. Back then it was called Warball, but that makes sense considering it was anbsp;Lutherannbsp;school I went to. Everything is war with these people. Anyways, the Flathead Dodgeballnbsp;Associationnbsp;has started a pretty damn cool thing here in the valley, and we're going to try and make films of each game Tyler and myself play in. Mcnally did another amazing job editing footage we send him, so if you have a minute, check out keithcourage.com and show him some love. Mcnally, you do good work sir. This video was filmed by Danni on Tuesday, February 9th 2010, and you can thank her for the hot sexy close ups of chicks in little shorts bending over. I did. I forget what the score ended up being, but our team did win, so that's pretty cool. We're going to try and make a series out of this, so you can see us play each game in the season. We'll see how that works out. After this, they might not let us film anymore... Just kidding, we will always film. nbsp;:) So enjoy this on the go with your mobile media device, or click the more link and check it out on youtube. Remember to rate the videos, you know, for fun. videocast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1725 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1725#comments Sat, 13 Feb 2010 06:40:26 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1725 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1725 0 74:43 "If I can flavor the pee, I'm in." Every now and then the medical marijuana debate will surface in the local newspapers here in the Flathead ... "If I can flavor the pee, I'm in." Every now and then the medical marijuana debate will surface in the local newspapers here in the Flathead Valley. Montana was the 11th state to pass some type of medical marijuana legislation, with 62% of the votes. More than half of the people that showed up to vote that day had some good decent common sense. I would like to talk about the other 38% or so that still cling to the dying belief that if you smoke weed, you will rape and murder babies. I blame the years and years of negative propaganda back in the early days of prohibition. I would imagine these are the same people driving around town with McCain, Palin and Bush stickers still on their vehicles. Those stickers can be a bitch to get off. Anyways, one of the very annoying things these pot haters keep on doing, is lumping weed in with drugs like heroin, cocaine, meth, etc... I'm sorry, but there needs to be a major reclassification of this shit. If you think weed is like heroin, that's the same as me thinking doctors on House or Scrubs could really get down on some surgical shit in real life, and not kill the person. It's not the same thing. Plus, if you are going to run around spouting off that all drugs are the same, then toss alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, taurine,nbsp;Tylenol, and aspirin into that bag while your at it. Those aren't the same thing are they? Do you say thatnbsp;Lutheransnbsp;are the same as Catholics which are the same as Protestants, which are the same as Muslims, which are the same as Baptists? I could do that all day.nbsp;But no, you do not say that, although, if you think about it they are all kind of the same, or at least the ideas were all ripped off from the same ancientnbsp;religions, but hey, nothing is original anymore. nbsp;The city and state stands to gain a nice little addition to their budgets if they do this right, while at the same time taking a little pressure off of the overpopulated prison system. Oh right, I forgot to mention, you might as well letnbsp;everyonenbsp;out of jail that's in there for some silly marijuana charge. Unless of course, your goal is to create a sub population of crazy, blood thirsty soldiers for your crazy killer zombie army. Then just leave them in there, poke them with a stick once in a while, and feed them raw meat. That's how you turn normal people into crazy blood thirsty zombie dogs. The Dodgeball game 1 video is up on the feed, and on the youtubes. Thanks Mcnally! Happy Valentines day.... Tyler. Oh and you too Danni. Only one job per person right now, times are tough. Guess who's waking up crying now? Well yea, me still, but so is she! Something is going on in our heads, and that's why we are all having fucked up dreams, the end is nigh. Quite possibly the biggest ass in the valley. Hey, make room for the rest of us pig. Could you imagine fucking that? The way to god begins with a broken heart, or a crack habit, or a triple rape murder. Never on a good thing, always negative. Thanks god! If you don't want to be a single mom, then stop having kids. No one wants to raise the kids of someone else. Our community, fighting the war on unsafe driving, one sign at a time. Feel free to call the number. Don't talk and drive, unless you see someone being an asshole, then call this long ass number. Fail... If you have a name in quotes, you are a "d-bag." Should we call you "spook" or "stang"? What the fuck is a jake brake? I'm glad you asked. I called it, and now you have mumps. I win. We all lose. Also, the new aqua teen season is great. By the way... WWJD? To drink pee or not to drink pee, that is the question. Skeezing on our cell phone privacy. Privacy is dying for the most part, so that our convenience and capitalism can live on. Who's information is it now? You know what goes good with mahjong? Ketamine and cocaine... and meth. Nice. I will live out the rest of my days in a mahjong k-hole. Grabbing another man by his nuts. Because I'... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1700 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1700#comments Thu, 11 Feb 2010 06:00:15 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1700 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1700 0 81:45 "Bigger chick, bigger dowry, that's how this works." The people that populate this valley are some of the biggest hypocritical self righteous pretentious retard jerk off's ... "Bigger chick, bigger dowry, that's how this works." The people that populate this valley are some of the biggest hypocritical self righteous pretentious retard jerk off's I have ever come into contact with. We probably have more churches per square mile than New York hasnbsp;Starbucks, and you would think that with a town full of such god fearing people, their perfect untainted morals would shine through such highly regarded character... But NAY it does fucking not! These people have their heads so far up Jesus Christ's asshole, they are becoming the very same communion they are receiving. The sad thing is, these people are in the highest offices of power as far as this little valley goes, and they are sucking big infected church cock all day long. I would say the community is better, but the community is the congregation of these churches everynbsp;Sunday, or at the very least, on majornbsp;religiousnbsp;holidays. What can you do? If god was real,nbsp;religiousnbsp;communities such as the one here innbsp;thenbsp;Flathead Valley should be flourishing with awesome goodness and thriving with progress. God should be smiling down upon this town, bathing it and all it's inhabitants in rays of pure unadulterated happiness. I see quite the opposite here. This town is a cesspool for meth and pill junkies, childnbsp;molesters,nbsp;theft, prostitution, fraud, embezzlement, etc... There is corruption running rampant in the airport management, the city bleeds more money than a female hemophiliac on the rag,nbsp;the casinos are taking advantage of the depressed and lost just as much, if not more than the church is. There are just as many scum bag pay day loan places as there are trailer parks. Why aren't these people good? Why isn't life here perfect? Please tell me that our free will has destroyed thenbsp;paradisenbsp;god intended for us. I firmly believe the belief system these people hold so dear and true to their heart is what has made the valley the depressed dot on the map it is today. Let's have a big round of applause for god! Let's have an even bigger round of applause for all of you lost sheep who got suckered into believing this shit. Don't feel too bad, I got tricked too, when I was a kid. The church has had thousands of years perfecting it's illusion, plus you were probably indoctrinated as a child, so you never really had a chance. Granted, in every community like this, you do have good people, you just don't see them very often because they are lost in the sea of shit that is thenbsp;religious cult. Basically, you have been fooled into believing in god because someone in your life said if you don't, you will burn in hell eternally. Sounds like you got fooled by the oldest trick in the book. Scare someone into doing what you want. Hey, if you don't listen to The Jamhole, you will spontaneously combust. If you don't donate to The Jamhole, nbsp;your heart will stop beating. You won't know when, you won't know where. Do you want your heart to stop beating? Do you want to spontaneously combust? I don't either, so just donate some money and listen to The Jamhole, and everything will be ok. Douche bags in high school will most of the time, remain douche bags. They just get a little bigger. So instead of me sucking at editing dodgeball footage, our good friend Mcnally from KeithCourage.com is going to put it together for us. You may be familiar with his work on the 250 live audience show, and Danni's surgery documentary. Thanks Mcnally! If you are going to do steroids, you have to learn how to control your rage. Where's the integrity!!!??!?!? Did I mention we won our first dodgeball game? WE WIN, YOU LOSE! Honestly, when hot chicks dress like this to play dodgeball, we all win. I bring home the bacon, Danni cooks it. Danni has no faith in my fighting skills, which is fine. I don't fight, I kill. Don't fuck with me... Hey farmville, thanks for the blowjob gift! WWJD?!?!?! Have friends or look awesome? Fuck ot... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1696 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1696#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:35:17 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1696 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1696 0 91:25 "By the way, that's not going to heal back up all the way." I love the fact that even though we've come so far in ournbsp;evolutionarynbsp;path, ... "By the way, that's not going to heal back up all the way." I love the fact that even though we've come so far in ournbsp;evolutionarynbsp;path, people still hold on with their last breath, to ancient traditions and thought processes. Sure, some people need that feeling of being watched over by a grandfather figure in the sky, and why not? It takes the responsibility off of them, and places it in the hands of a great all knowing being. I have a problem when you start wars in the name of that being, or you walk around all smug because you think you are better than everyone else, because god talks to you and not me. I'll tell you what, those voices in your head, aren't god. It's you slowly losing your mind, giving in to the crazy that most likely runs in your family. Let's face facts, if god was real, and he wanted us to believe in him, he would make his existence known. He would know that in order for us to believe, we need some kind of real proof. How does he know? Well silly, because according to his book, we were created in his own image. That means he gave us rational, logically thinking minds for a reason. To question every single idea we come into contact with. So if you really wanna get down to brass tacks, by not questioning gods existence, and blindlynbsp;believingnbsp;in it, you are, in essence, slapping god in the face. You are saying, "Hey god, thanks for this awesome mind, but I don't really need it. I just believe what people tell me to believe." Thanks, but no thanks. Plus, if you are so sure god exists, stop being sad when people die. Stop trying to delay your own death. You should be in a fucking hurry to get to heaven. Because you are not, that tells me that perhaps your faith isn't as strong as you think it is. Open your eyes, and question everything... Unless of course, you hear it on the Jamhole. There are many ways to watch the live show, either on the go or from the comfort of your own home. Hey Ustream, please fix your shit, we're all sick and tired of the broadcaster crashing every fucking episode. Happy birthday Michael! Please start being gay again, it's for your own good. Do not ever let your girlfriend fall asleep with your dick and nuts in her hand.nbsp;Especiallynbsp;if she is having weird dreams. You may wake up with no dick. If you could see what I was dreaming about, you'd cry too. The latest spam is getting pretty fucking tricky. If you fall for this, just kill yourself. WWJD??? Would you be a complete sex machine, or let the dickless orphan have it? By the way, your penis is always going to look like that. Thanks doc! Was this marriage proposal for real? I don't think it was, but you never know. Want to propose to your lady on the Jamhole? Contact us and we'll make it happen... For a nominal fee of course. The kid sounds like he's 12 by the way. 30 scary things about food you probably didn't know. You probably didn't want to either, you're welcome. Beingnbsp;religiousnbsp;doesn't make you live longer, but it might turn you into a big fat smug fuck. This story is behind a pay wall now for some reason, sorry. Remember the crazy shovel lady? Let's talk about the crazy shovel guy, who goes into strip clubs and starts swinging. Not that way... Cocaine is getting cut with some nasty ass shit. It will make you black. Or your skin at least. Cocaine is a helluva drug. Don't ever smoke wet sticks, no matter how fun the black guy tells you it will be. It basically puts your dick in the dirt. Here's a quick list of drugs I've done. Do you remember witch hunts? They are making a wicked come back! Score one more for religion. Here's where Ustream fucked us... AGAIN. Kidnapping a 13 year old so she can babysit your child... And also to fuck her of course. If you would learn the alphabet, you wouldn't get punished like this. Water boarding your children will make them learn real quick. If you make the children watch as you cut off their mothers head, they will respec... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1690 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1690#comments Sat, 06 Feb 2010 06:00:38 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1690 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1690 1 89:51 "You have a cat in your pants." A couple of weeks ago, I was kind of annoyed that my pipe was so clogged with resin, I ... "You have a cat in your pants." A couple of weeks ago, I was kind of annoyed that my pipe was so clogged with resin, I couldn't really smoke through it. I was even thinking of cleaning it the fuck out. But then, I was stopped by a thought of how much more annoying it is when you run out of weed. Especially when you live pay check to pay check and pay day is another week away. So let's go buy a new bong. Sure, why the fuck not. The only bong I have is one we got when we made the jamhole salvia videos. It's a cheap little acrylic bong, covered in Jamhole and Katg stickers. Well, the one thing I forgot about when buying a new bong, is that you really want to use the fuck out of it once you get home. Another key piece of information is that bongs use a shitload of weed, especially when you spend your weekends chilling at home on the computer working on website shit, or writing fat dope rhymes in your rhyme book.nbsp;Double that if you have a friend over who is just as big of a stoner as you are. Multiply that by the fact that when you get a new bong, you want to smoke out of it as much as possible, feeling out the percolation, mastering each and every curve, adapting to it's dimensions, getting lost in the shapes and colors of the hand blown glass. Divide that shit by how much weed you have left, and that equals scrounging for resin Sunday night. Fast forward to about ten minutes ago. 10:38pm Sunday night... I am really super glad that the pipe was so clogged a couple of weeks ago, and I just left it. Yea, I think that was the point of this, to teach you the core lesson of "Waste not, want not." And also to fill up about 300 words or so, so we can move on to the show notes. Always remember, you can watch the live shows on the go with your Android or Iphone Ustream app. If you are near a computer, just check out thejamhole.com/live. Danni is having more weird "she thinks she's pregnant dreams." I guess that means the subliminal suck more cock thoughts are completely backfiring. Beats for babies. Help me get my beats out of lay away, before I have to start selling babies. Danni's on the rag. You can go ahead and put that in your menstrual cycle app. If you are weird like me, keeping track... A movie about a ghost on the rag... speaking of bitches on the rag. I'm not allowed to watch your religion in action, because of it's violent content. Here's the trailer! I can't find whatever the hell that cat thing Danni was talking about. She's crazy. Nevermind, here it is! This is part 1. We're trying to take role and get some numbers in the forums, so if you like the show, make sure you are a member of thejamhole.com/forums. Thank you. And also the facebook group. Thanks for the sweet cruzers to thejamhole.com/pobox! I give you my best Josh from Bigmouths podcast impression. WwjD!! Your first 35 years of sex, or your last? If you wanna play along, check the forums. The good doctor took a few minutes and posted them all in the everything else section. Check the new poll! Should I spend real money on real beats? I have never seen such amazing chronic. Good weed and the first ep of the new season of Lost, made me pass the fuck out. By the way, does anyone have any idea what year it is in the new season of Lost? Just curious if anyone knows. If you get paid like a dishwasher, then fuck them. Just wash dishes. The cat is not doing her job. I found a spider crawling on me. I am not pleased. In these oh so tough economic times, sometimes you have to sell pictures of your little daughter to make ends meet. I do not have a lisp. If I had a lisp, this is what I would sound like. Please stop fagging it up. Please stick to the script. "This rechiper faggot is pissing me off," is not part of the script. I love a good six person murder / suicide. I know there is a 666 in there, which means the devil made him do it. The devil and this horrible economy. Making bank off god. Sweet un-taxable big bucks no whammie... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1683 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1683#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:20:32 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1683 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1683 0 82:53 "I should be offended, look at what came out of your wife's vagina." Holy fucking shit, have I mentioned how fucking sore I am? My routenbsp;Wednesdaynbsp;wasn't ... "I should be offended, look at what came out of your wife's vagina." Holy fucking shit, have I mentioned how fucking sore I am? My routenbsp;Wednesdaynbsp;wasn't so bad, it consisted of an 80 mile drive, six stops, then another 80 mile drive back. But today is 40 stops, up and down stairs. I'm walking like a fucking retard, pardon me... Like a fucking R word. I hope it's just that dodgeball uses muscles that delivering water does not use. Because if not, then that means I am getting to old for this shit. Only time will tell. Anyways, if you like the show, please consider helping fund my next hip hop album. I am going to make a legit album, with beats I purchased that have been professionally made. As much as I like the thug appeal of jacking fools for their beats, I feel if I want to take this to the next level, I'm going to have to spend some money. We do this show out of our own pocket (well, my pocket), and there is a lot of expense that goes into it. So please, if you enjoy what we're doing here, if you like the emo poetry sessions, and the Book of Matthew, consider donating to help me get these beats paid for. Let's just say I need about a couple grand. If each listener donates ten bucks, that will more than pay for the beats. It's tax time, so if you've been wanting to donate to the show, now would be the perfect time. If you want something more than free comedy shows three days a week for your money, you can also go to our store and get somenbsp;Jamholenbsp;church stickers, the 250 show,nbsp;Jamholenbsp;shirts, and / or the Book of Matthew. Thank you guys so much, we are coming up on our two year anniversary February 18th. That's right, we have been at this whole funny podcast talk show thing for damn near two years. Thank you everyone for the support you've shown us, and please keep spreading the word. Also, I'm putting a press kit together to try and suckernbsp;attractnbsp;some sponsors, so if you enjoy the show, please make sure you are subscribed in itunes or whatever podcatcher you use, make sure you are a member of the forums, as well as the facebook group. Also, make sure you are following the jamhole twitter account, and Danni's twitter account. Last and probably least, make sure you are all voting for us on podcast alley each month. Thanks again, and we'll see you Friday for episode 307. Welcome back Danni, I sure did miss you. Is it possible that girls who work at hooters are just playing the role of the dumb dunce? Or are they really just that stupid? Tell us about your trip. How's your ex boyfriend doing? How's the rock chip in your windshield? I will never cheat on you because I don't ever want a qtip shoved into my pee hole. Ever! If you are going to fuck me, I need a clean bill of health, signed and notarized. Dodgeball was awesome. Yes, I am still sore as fuck. You can check the four quick dodgeball videos I made here on thenbsp;Jamholenbsp;youtube account. This is some serious shit. Black Dynamite! What a great movie. Nothing takes your mind off of how sore your body is like smoking some chronic and watching Black Dynamite. Great shit! Hey Toyota, what the fuck is the problem? Did you not get enough bail out money or something? Only people who have retarded children are offended by the word "Retard." This fucking retard is going to waste some tax dollars trying to get people to stop saying the R word. Scientologists, you fucking suck. You have the worst belief system ever. You are the equivalent of me starting a religion based on serenity or firefly. News flash, you CANNOT heal people just by touching them. If you believe that, you are a fucking retard. Don't touch me... Speaking of retards, if you think MMR vaccines cause autism, you are a fucking retard. Dr. Wakefield is in a little bit of shit for lying. I told you so! What do you have to say now Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey? You should have been a Scientologist, that way you could just touch your retarded child to heal hi... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1679 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1679#comments Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:45:02 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1679 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1679 0 82:21 "You have to make the bait more obvious sometimes." If you spend any amount of time interacting withnbsp;religiousnbsp;people like I do, you will have heard one ... "You have to make the bait more obvious sometimes." If you spend any amount of time interacting withnbsp;religiousnbsp;people like I do, you will have heard one of their many arguments of god's existence, called the morality argument. This argument comes in many different flavors, the most popular being, "In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard. That all changed once I becamenbsp;religious, therefore god must exist." With this line of thinking, every atheist should be a raping, killing, destructive force of hate and malevolence, completely fucking up everything in our way. We are not, so what does that tell you? Maybe god had some morality to spare, so he gave it to some of us non believers, or maybe the wholenbsp;argument of existence via morality is complete and utter bullshit.nbsp;I think it's fucked up that someone has to be at the lowest point in their life before they finally give up responsibility to a "higher power." I also think it's fucked up that a lot of the problems we face in the world today, are problems caused by religion or people with strongnbsp;religiousnbsp;affiliation. Since this is the case, what does your morality argument say about them? Go ahead, keep moving the goal posts. I have all the time in the world. You are the one counting down to some eternal heaven / hell dichotomy where the fate of your soul hangs in the balance. I'm not waiting for anything. I'm making the best out of the life I have made for myself. I don't pray to some eye in the sky to help me make my life better. If I want my life to be better, I will take the steps to make it better. If I want to give some of my hard earned money to a charity, I will do so, not because god gave me morality, but because I am naturally a human being, and sometimes human beings do nice things for other, less fortunate human beings. When I do decide to give my money to a charity, you won't see me make a big deal out of it either. You won't hear me preach about why some fictional invisible fairytale character is going to give my soul great things in the after life because I gave you some money right now. But how the deity won't let me give you the money until you accept the deity as your one and only deity. That is such bullshit. Start paying taxes like the rest of us, if you really want to talk about moral judgement. What makes you so high and mighty that you don't have to contribute to the society you live in, and steal from and lie to and brainwash? Did god give that to you before or after he gave you morality? Welcome to the show, my friend Tyler. Life was good back in the day. I miss not working. Who's ready fornbsp;Dodge ball? If you are local here to Kalispell Montana, show up at the shady lane roller rink at 6:30 pm. We are very excited. Poor Josh from the Bigmouths podcast. He has had one hell of a week. We should all send him Big Mac's to his PO Box. Where's my job Obama? Brayden still hasn't gotten his yet. Although he has done us a solid on the medical marijuana front. Weed must have been the only drug the CIA isn't selling. The crazy shovel lady spotted again. I finally figured out what her deal is. She has wicked OCD. Cameras make you do more dumb shit than normal. So hook us up with the pinhole camera from our think geek wish list. One of the greatest stories from my younger days running around this town. I'm glad Tyler was here for this. This was around the same time we would go around town and make chalk outline crime scenes. Good times. Jack move sucka. I'm have quite the collection. Did you ever get a ransom note? Email info@thejamhole.com and maybe you'll get your jack back. The 1023 campaign is doing some awesome stuff for skepticism. Skeptics unite to prove how homeopathy is complete useless bullshit. Here are the results. How many signatures did we need to get our weed legalizationnbsp;initiativenbsp;on the ballot? Oh well w... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1671 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1671#comments Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:00:14 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1671 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1671 0 87:39 "I will make a movie about me, kicking your fucking ass." The more I read "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens, the more my mind ... "I will make a movie about me, kicking your fucking ass." The more I read "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens, the more my mind is blown at how people can believe some of the things they believe in. It's like they stopped caring about what was going on around them five years after they were born, and they haven't looked back since. He is risen... He is risen indeed! I'll make you a deal, I'll start believing in god, but you have to stop using technology. No more cars either. You should probably all just start wearing burkas as well. And blind folds, I wanna see everyone wearing blindfolds. Girls aren't allowed to vote anymore either, and we get to throw rocks at them if they aren't virgins. We should all probably go ahead and quit our jobs, that way we can spend more time on our knees,nbsp;worshipingnbsp;the deity. AMEN! I'm in... I was at buns on the lake this morning for breakfast with Dana, and there was a table of people who had just gotten done with church. They were joking around about people who go to church, but don't have faith. They thought it was funny that people would go to church just to be seen as believing in something they do, so they can be part of the super secret magic club. It's saying, look how quaint these people are, with their wishful thinking and belief in a ghost full of holes. Death and taxes, unless you happen to be a tax exemptnbsp;religion. The guy that wrote "A People's History of the United States" died. His name was Howard Zinn. If you opened up a restaurant, and made it 18 and over only, that way you don't have to tolerate sad babies while you eat, you would make a mint. Beat the shit out of your children, or don't bring them out in public. What is stopping you from killing babies? See, the prison system does work. Legion... So is this what allnbsp;Christiansnbsp;think their god would be like if it really did exist? Let's make a movie portraying what would happen if mynbsp;religionnbsp;was real. Hey Michael Bay, please don't make nightmare on elm street suck. Please. If you want a movie to remake, remake transformers, and make it not suck. Danni recites the lines from the movie Hot Tub Time Machine. Why do you bring dogs to work, when you work in an office? Check out the new spam. Who falls for this? I knew thosenbsp;Nigeriansnbsp;would fuck me. So you see children, how powerful and generous god is, he has made all the trees and grass to be green, which is the color most restful to our eyes. Thanks god! Why do you hate babies so much? You were a baby once, what's the beef? Haiti is getting back on track. It's good to see they are back out raping and pillaging. Duct taping a toddler to a wall. Yes please. I'm gonna kill you! Because the devil told me to. God told me not to, so I did it during the day. I wanna make money telling lies. This is why you can't watch porn and drive a semi at the same time. Streaming video rocks! Do dudes ever dump chicks? How many chicks have you dumped? This is plan A, and this is plan B. If you are going to cheat, you have to cheat at the same time. Check out our think geek wish list. We need a couple of pin hole cameras. By the time I want to fuck somebody else, I'm not in love with you anymore. It's nothing against you, it's something against monotonous repetition. Getting your world rocked, final destination style, with a huge fire hose. In 3d! I would post the link to the story, but google says it is infected with malware. You know how I know you're gay? Because you told the cops you're obsessed with circumcision. Those wackynbsp;Australians. Stop killing abortion doctors you crazy church fucks. 3rd trimester abortions, that's veal. Those babies were dead already. I wanted the back alley abortion anyways, so there. Emo Poetry 32 is up at the jamhole youtube page. If you enjoy the show, donate us cash! Check out our first live audience show at thejamhole.com/250. podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1667 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1667#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:45:11 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1667 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1667 0 75:57 "I need fur to express my inner being." So it's that time of year again, when the president addresses this great nation of ours. What I ... "I need fur to express my inner being." So it's that time of year again, when the president addresses this great nation of ours. What I find very amusing about this whole thing, is that he keeps saying things we already know. Let's get back to work he says. Hey Obama, we've been working this whole time, where the fuck have you been? We work our fucking asses off, just to break even. That's fun right? You say people shouldn't go bankrupt just because they chose to go to college right? So quit talking, and do something about it. You are the president after all. Now of course, it's easy to get up in front of the country and talk all this shit about what needs to be done, and how to make things better, but that's all it is. It's just talk. Put your money where your mouth is so to speak, and start doing things to make us proud that you are the president. Because I don't know if you know this or not, but where I live, up here in Montana, people aren't exactly behind you. If they are behind you, it's to kick you off the cliff you've led us to the top of. The majority of the American people are blind, religious sheep, and if you go over that cliff, you will bring them all with you, which in hindsight, may not be that bad of a thing. You say we need healthcare reform right? So let's fucking do it! I'm sure by now all of the major health insurance companies have enough money stashed away to live the rest of their lives very comfortably, which is more than I can say for those of us who gave them that money in the first place. It's the same with the auto industry. They should have made more than enough money in profits since the auto boom back in the day to carry their businesses through this low point. But then they get all this bail out money. That's pretty fucked up. Maybe, instead of giving them even more money, why not look into the reason they are broke in the first place, then fix it. You can keep on giving them money, but if they keep on spending it on private planes, hookers and blow, it's not going to help anything. So yea, I'm just saying, fix the shit you say your going to fix, or get the fuck out of the way and let someone else do it. Steve Jobs shows how sick he really is by unveiling the iPad. Remember the mad tv iPad? We do. Let's make an iPod, but BIGGER. Because we are all getting bigger. It's an iPod for fat fuck people. At#38;t huh? Really? Do they even have any towers left? Because from their service, younbsp;wouldn'tnbsp;think so. I would of course like to have one for around the house, so you can send mine to the PO Box. It's ok, I'll wait for the android tablet. A quick little end spoiling review from the great Keith Malley's film debut, She's Crushed. I checked just now, and you are only down 15% Keith. Keep your head up. A huge thanks to MDS for sending us his $.05 Verizon credit. We can now finally both quit our day jobs. Thank you! WWJD? This one might be a little long, but hey, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... Hey Danni, explain to us what the state of the union is please. Thank you. By the by, are people where you live as unhappy with Obama as they are where I live? If you hear anything about that in your day to day passing, email info@thejamhole.com and let us know. I'm curious. You can judge how good a company's product is by how much they outsource their tech support. If a company doesn't have any tech support, maybe they don't need it. If you can't figure out your nexus one, send it to me, and go buy a jitterbug. Did you know we live in a world where we have actual werewolves? I didn't either until we did this news story. It's kind of like that tv show, Being Human. Pretty entertaining sometimes. Danni really likes it. Don't make fun of my FURsonna. I am a nine tail fox. Have fun in your padded cell Wolfy Blackheart. If you need to get brains out of a skull, just ask Danni. Do you have a baby you don't want anymore? Toss it off the overp... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1663 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1663#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 05:00:42 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1663 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1663 0 72:04 "Dana's in the bathroom right now, and she wants to blow you." I was going to write something completely clever and thought provoking here, but I ... "Dana's in the bathroom right now, and she wants to blow you." I was going to write something completely clever and thought provoking here, but I don't want to spoil the actual episode too much. Plus because of who we had on as a guest, I'm not really allowed to say anything. I know this is a blog of sorts, but you know how these things are. Basically, we're on a need to know basis, and you simply don't need to know. Don't worry, I don't really need to know either. The first rule of freelance private sector security consulting, is you don't talk about freelance private sector security consulting. That's right, not even on a talk show. You especially don't write about it on a blog either. Just keep quiet, pretend you never saw or heard this, and stay safe. It's a crazy world out there. Say hello to Danni's friend from 6th grade, Josh! Don't worry, everything he says is a lie. Almost. They used to sword fight back in the day. It's a good thing we didn't go to the Sweatshop Union show in Big Sky Montana. They got turned away at the border. Fucking border patrol. You let in the wrong people, and keep out the right ones. Anyways, here are some more upcoming Canadian tour dates. Fernie is pretty damn close to us, maybe we'll make that one, if we can get into Canada that is. You just turned 21, better go get wasted so hard. Here is Josh's life story. Enjoy. I don't understand the nazi paraphernalianbsp;comment Danni made. Danni ruined Josh's life. That will happen. Let me tell you about a little paradise I call Montana. If I want a drink, I'll get a drink. I am an adult, remember? Thank you. Also, the next time you text me my girl is going to blow me, and she doesn't blow me, I'm going to put my penis in YOUR mouth. Josh gives amazing head. His words, not mine. A call from Germany! Fuck I love those guys. David was so drunk on his 21st birthday, he needed two chairs. The cake his dad got him was awesome. I never said it was hush hush, I just said I'm not going to talk about it. Basically, I work for a company like this, and now I have to kill you. So why are you here again? Let's ruin a couple of movies for you. First of all, The Book of Eli. It's the bible, and it's in braille. Denzel is still my nigga. Whoever has the book, controls everyone. The Stepfather was decent. We could have killed people better. Just keep that in the back of your mind at all times. Killing people changes a man. So does having to live in a shit hole desert for months on end. My hands taste like purple penis. Hmmm... WWJD? What would Jamhole do? Making people dumber, and getting paid for it. Let me introduce you to my translator, his name is Achmed. Apparently, they didn't train Josh to keep his mouth in front of a microphone. Don't drink the holy water in Russia, it might kill you. You can't handle that much god. Nice work god, that's what you get for getting your holy water from a disgusting stagnant lake. It's ok, tap water was undrinkable innbsp;Haitinbsp;BEFORE the earthquake. Speaking of, I hope we get an earthquake here. Bring us some fucking money. I think Haiti probably caused the earthquake on purpose, so they can finally get paid. Job well done. If you hear another voice not talking into the mic, that's my friend Tyler. We'll try and get him a mic next time. The pope gets his shit all up on the web 2.0. Hey priests, you need to become more medianbsp;savvy. If you're trying to keep up with the times, why are younbsp;worshipingnbsp;an 8,000 year old bad idea? Faith is knowing somethingnbsp;withoutnbsp;really knowing something. That works nice in a movie when you can write a part for god. Weed fixes everything, even ADHD. Get your kids off the pharmaceutical meth, and on some of that chronic shit. Let me tell you a little something about Adderall. When you mix riddlinnbsp;with oxycontin, you get SUPER fucked up. Especially if you shoot it up. Danni makes herself sound like anbsp;supremenbsp;crackhead.... podcast The Jamhole no No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1658 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1658#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 06:45:48 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1658 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1658 0 77:10 "I should write a parenting book, I hate kids." The older I get, the more I start to have massive, blinding realizations about things. Some more ... "I should write a parenting book, I hate kids." The older I get, the more I start to have massive, blinding realizations about things. Some more obvious than others, always ending up bringing a cheeky grin to my sad weathered face. The latest of these is the whole 21st birthday thing. Probably because just last night we were out celebrating our friend's 21st birthday. Having a younger brother, and sharing friends with him has given me insight into a couple of younger generations' thought processes. When I turned 21, I took a little over 21 bong hits, had some friends over, and we all hung out. I never went out drinking to excess or anything like that. If you listen to the show, you'll know that in my younger years, I never acquired the taste for alcohol. This saved me many MIP's / DUI's that people I was hanging out with ended up getting. I think I was too preoccupied with drugs that produced way better and more mind blowing effects and hallucinations than just making ugly chicks look fuckable, or making me feel like I was tougher than reality allowed me to be. It always seems funny to me that when people turn 21, they feel the need to get drunk to the point of near alcoholnbsp;poisoning, like it's some new flavor of Kool-Aid they have never tried before, and instead of sugar, it's filled with meth and cocaine. It's not like they've never had alcohol before, although I'm sure that is the case for some. But in most cases, it's the first taste of the freedom of being allowed to sit in a bar and get wasted with all the other people who have seemingly given up on life. It's like a glance into the future. All this misery and more could be yours if you keep on being a raging alcoholic. It almost seems like having a 21 year old drinking age does more harm than good. If kids were allowed to drink like they are innbsp;Europe, turning 21 wouldn't have such an allure to it. It wouldn't be a tradition to go out and get blackout drunk, it'd be just another birthday. Another year older. It also cracks me up that when you turn 40 or 50, you really start to regret all of the bad things you've done to your body in the name of blowing your mind and fucking ugly chicks. Your liver is pretty well done, kidneys done, brain barely able to keep the body in working order, penis sad as fuck. It makes you wonder if that blackout binge when you turned 21 was a good thing, or the reason you are now 53 years old, and dying of liver failure. Oh well, I'm sure by the time these generations make it to 40 or 50, we'll have replaced failing organs, if not the whole body, with robotic surrogates, so it doesn't really matter. Personally? I'll leave the body behind, and live the rest of my days out roaming the ever expanding vastness of the internet. Happy birthday David! Danni redeems herself with one of the best kaboom's I've heard since the 250 show. If you like the show, show some support. I need to pay the server bill and get some beats. Hey liberty tax, please chill the fuck out. Having kids erotically dancing with a sign dressed up like the statue of liberty at 9 in the morning does not make me want to hire you to do my taxes. I'm sure France would be very proud. Church and blink 182. Neither are punk. Please stop trying to transform god into something cool that kids can relate to. Because when you do that, you lie so bad. I'm really glad I chose David's 21st birthday party over going to see Sweatshop Union play in Bigsky. We'll talk about thisnbsp;Monday. Apparently for now, all the Sweatshop Union united states tour dates have been cancelled. Something about not being able to cross the border. Land of the free right? Wanna learn a quick and easy way to grow mushrooms for research purposes? Check out the haztek. A little local news. Just because you suck at being parents so bad one of your kids died, doesn't mean you can sue the city. You should be thankful you aren't in jail. If they win, I'm going to have a kid just so I can let hi... podcast The Jamhole yes No http://thejamhole.com/?p=1654 http://thejamhole.com/?p=1654#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 06:00:27 +0000 mat http://thejamhole.com/?p=1654 http://thejamhole.com/?feed=rss2&p=1654 0 81:30 "Do you remember when we got ripped off for buying weed, twice?" Three hundred episodes in the can, almost two years of doing the jamhole and ... "Do you remember when we got ripped off for buying weed, twice?" Three hundred episodes in the can, almost two years of doing the jamhole and we're still going strong. Just make sure you don't measure how strong we are going by the sound of this episodes Kaboom. Let me give you a little inside insight. For the last forty to fifty episodes, people in the live chat have been asking for Danni to do the Kaboom. Then finally last night, I was going to let her do it. Then we get the idea that rather than Danni herself doing the Kaboom, everyone should do it. Everyone includes Danni, Chris, Odie, and Brayden. So I'm like sure, that sounds good. I sit back as the intro plays, intent on letting everyone else do the Kaboom. What happens after the backspin? Absolute silence. Along withnbsp;achievingnbsp;three hundred episode spartan status, I believe we also have one of the jamhole's most awkward silences ever. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. It has been an honor bringing you all over five hundred hours of jamhole goodness. Thank you all for helping us grow this show into what it has become, and we look forward to bringing you at least thre