May 31
Ep 355: Wreck The House
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 31st, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 355: Wreck The House [76:06m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“This is the top shelf, you have the junk.”

I’ve got a couple things I would like to write about today. First of all, for some reason, I have a hard time understanding how a couple’s divorce makes the front page of my Google news feed. I understand that as  human beings, we love hearing about other human beings’ problems, especially when they are worse than our own problems. But seriously, is this really news worthy, let alone front page news worthy? So the couple I’m referring to is Al and Tipper Gore. Apparently they are calling it quits after forty years of marriage. In my opinion, the headline should be about how a political couple like that has managed to stay married for as long as they did. There is way too many hot sexy secretaries walking around these government offices, trying to tempt those in charge to put a penis in their mouth. Anyways, I love the quote they used in the article. The Gores said,

“This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further.”

Ok, the Gore’s are asking for privacy, yet they are the ones who sent the email regarding their separation. Umm, duh? Honestly, I’m surprised it lasted this long, I would have imagined if they were going to get a divorce, it would have been after Al Gore was made a fool in the famous South Park episode way back in April of 2006 entitled “Man Bear Pig.” I also find it quite amusing that as government officials, they are supposed to honor the sanctity of marriage, yet it’s the government officials who seem to corrupt it the most. If this kind of shit is allowed to happen, just shut the fuck up and let the gays marry.

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May 28
Ep 354: Man Parts
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 28th, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 354: Man Parts [87:31m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“If it’s gay to like a tighter hole, then sign up me sailor.”

Do you all remember a while ago, when we were talking about draw Muhammad day? Well, the results are in. Apparently enough people took part in this fun little Facebook group game to warrant a nasty letter from the king of Muhammad land himself, and when I say Muhammad land, I mean these third world countries who have their heads jammed so far up their prophets ass, they let the poop do all of the important decision making. I just now did a quick search for the draw Muhammad day Facebook group, but it has apparently been removed. In it’s place are a bunch of groups who want people to stop making fun of Muhammad, stop drawing Muhammad as a cartoon, ban South Park because they used a cartoon Muhammad, stop the draw Muhammad day, and the list goes on. I have to say, and I’m sure it’s been said before, but if your great almighty religious prophet gets a little butt hurt or has a serious problem with people drawing him, then you have a weak ass pussy prophet and probably way bigger problems on your hands. I mean seriously what the fuck Islam? You wonder why you live like fucking animals, with fucking animals, (some of you are fucking animals), because you are all so scared of someone making fun of your stupid little prophet, that you haven’t the time to take care of the more important areas of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s like you went a little weak on the basic survival and safety needs only to go way out of control on the spiritual needs, then just stopped there. Glad to see that’s working out well for you.

So basically we have a large group of people who can barely keep themsleves alive, who’s only worry in the world is that people make fun of their prophet by drawing stupid cartoons of him. Do you realize how ridiculous your lives sound to us? VERY! You should be concerned with the fact that it’s the year 2010 and you are still living like it’s the dark ages. See kids, this is what happens when you put all of your trust and hope in a deity that is doesn’t actually exist. If you had such a powerful deity who loved you and watched over you, you wouldn’t be living like such filthy pigs. I understand the whole humble yourself before god thing, but fuck guys, even the humble people aren’t living in their own piss and shit. I feel bad for you, for a split second, until I remember that you are like this by your own design. You chose to live like this in hopes that when you die you will get to fuck a bunch of virgins or something. I don’t know exactly how the story goes, but I’m sure it’s something along those lines. Why else would a bunch of men live like a bunch of animals like that? Duh, because they are promised a bunch of hot tight ass poon when they die. What a silly religion.

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May 26
Ep 353: Super Jesus
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 26th, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 353: Super Jesus [80:05m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“Not forever, just until you get back up your strength.”

This is the second day in a row I’ve seen the tech headline about a guy who got infected with a computer virus. Ok, so at first glance, it sounds pretty sci fi right? But once you read the actual article, you quickly realize that the writer is just solidifying a notion that, once we fully integrate computer technology into our lives, we are going to face the same problems we currently face with viruses, malware, and probably spam. The only difference is, when your computer gets infected with one of these lovely little problems, the computer can, for the most part, be fixed easily. Sure, depending on what kind of problem the computer is having, and how that problem came to manifest itself, the end user will have to face a little responsible embarrassment, and of course, a nice little bill. But, when you look at how computers are being merged with our lives in a more ubiquitous light, common sense rings the bells and alarms that this might cause some serious problems. As we allow computers to run more and more of our day to day lives, these problems will become quite serious. Sure, having a computer on your desk that’s infected with a virus is quite annoying, but all you have to do is unplug the ethernet cable, and the virus is basically rendered inoperative. Of course, depending on the virus, it can wreak some havoc on the computer system itself even to the point of rendering the computer itself inoperative, but again, unless that computer remains hooked up to other important infrastructure, nothing that bad is going to happen.

Now, take that same scenario, but instead of the target being a computer sitting on your desk, it’s the computer that control’s your vehicle, or your pace maker, or eventually, perhaps even parts of your mind and body. Imagine, as they talk about in the article, that we reach a point in society where everyone has a computer chip implanted inside their hand that controls access to security permissions at your office, all of your identity information, your bank information, communications, health information, or anything else we will allow computers to do for us. Imagine if that infected chip was controlling your pace maker, or your hearing aid, or your memory implants. If those devices we trusted enough to implant inside our bodies in the first place, end up getting infected by some nasty computer virus, the results could be quite fatal.  The further down this technological rabbit hole we tumble, the more interconnectedness we experience between our flesh and bone and our computer technology, the more these little problems are going to have extremely large, and possibly even fatal consequences. As the scientists demonstrated in their experiment, it is very easy for a well written virus to transfer itself from the infected chip, via the wireless air waves, into the computers they communicate with. Once there they spread like wild fire causing major headaches for the I.T. crowd.

So like I said, once your pace maker or memory implants get infected, it’s not like you can just do a simple format and recover. I just hope that by the time this happens, we have developed some sort of quantum computing firewall antivirus solution that will make writing viruses almost obsolete. Unless of course we end up with a quantum virus of some sort. But, by the time that happens, it’s going to be far too late to do anything about it. Prevention in this case, really is the best medicine. Good luck humanity! I have a feeling we’re going to need it.

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May 24
Ep 352: Sanitary Napkin
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 24th, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 352: Sanitary Napkin [72:09m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“There is no now here.”

For someone who hasn’t owned a television set top box in the better part of a decade, I still enjoy watching the shows that air over the cable waves. I prefer to ingest my visual entertainment in as much of an ad free environment as possible. I find the advertisements, if given enough time, start to condition ones mind in a negative way. I don’t like anything created by another person for the goal of influencing my mind in any way, shape or form. Of course, living in the modernized, globally networked meta connected world we live in today, it’s pretty much impossible to avoid. Because of this, I find it very important to take control and make changes before they get a chance to, whenever possible. So two of the shows I have been watching for a while have come to an end. I consider myself a fan or at the very least, a viewer of the following shows that have been on lately. This is not a paid for plug by any means, it is simply fact. 24, Lost, Heroes, CSI Vegas, The Tudors, The Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, South Park, Weeds, Aqua Teen, American Dad, Stargate Universe, The Boondocks, Dexter, Mad Men, Little Britain, Metalocalypse, Sanctuary, Tim and Eric, True Blood, and The Venture Bros. Holy fuck, looking at this list, I’m blown away I have enough time to keep up with all of these shows. Then again, in this modernized world we have helped create for ourselves, we have amazing utilities that allow viewing whenever I want. Anyways, like I was saying, two of the shows I have been watching have now come to an end. Lost ended after six seasons, and you can hear my thoughts on this episode of the Jamhole. I think I said everything that needed to be said about Lost. On the other hand, I would like to mention a couple things about 24.

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May 21
Ep 351: Fecal Phobic
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 21st, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 351: Fecal Phobic [79:11m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“After the two fucking douche bags left, the party happened.”

So I’m going to do the “I’m tired cop out” thing and write about something completely irrelevant silly and unrelated to anyone’s life, yet something that connects a lot of us. Of course I’m talking about Lost ending. That’s right, as I’m writing this, a very legal download of electrons in the forms of a 1 0 binary code are flowing from the internet to a computer under my control. The epic Lost finale has no doubt already aired in most civilized parts of the world, and I’m sure by now, the numbers are starting to come in. I speak of the death toll numbers, the suicide numbers, the murder death kill numbers that are turning into a tidal wave of destruction all due to this one single show, ending so fucking bad. Bad as in bad to the bone Michael Jackson probably touched children bad. Not bad as in super bad or bad dudes bad. This is just another sign that points to the imminent doom and fall of society we all face. It has been written in the ancient prophecy, “A show will appear on television that will captivate the audience’s imagination in complete and utter wonder, but then, when the season finale airs six seasons later, there will be a mass exodus of order and goodness because of how bad it will suck. This will usher in the fall of humanity.” So sayeth the ancient prophecy. Of course, I could be totally wrong, and of course, this is all idle speculation. But I’m telling you what, coming from the lips (or finger tips) of someone who was kind of into Lost when it first started, I’m expecting a “Fuck You” of epic proportions. I stopped watching lost in the fifth season when they started jumping through time and space with the island. I gave it a couple of chances to stop jumping through time and get it’s shit together, but it seemed like the show just stopped giving a fuck. But then, when I heard that season six was going to be the last season, and this was going to finally come to an end somehow, I had to start watching again. Of course I didn’t go back to finish what episodes I may have missed back in season five, but I get what’s going on. So I’ll take one for the team and finish up this series, then we’ll talk about it on the Monday podcast. If there even is a Monday… Be careful out there.

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May 19
Ep 350: Unnamed Podcast
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 19th, 2010 | | 1 Comment »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 350: Unnamed Podcast [84:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“You owe me an apology.”

Some, if not most people will agree that we are facing some pretty tough times right now. The economy is crap, people are struggling to live paycheck to paycheck, assuming you even have a job. Unemployment rates are higher than they have been in quite some time. The nation is divided between the left wing crazy people and the right wing crazy people. It seems like common sense to me that if you want to get things done and make the world a better place, you have to work together rather than against each other. Having the country split up into different categorical belief systems only makes more problems in my opinion. As soon as you split people up, you create unrest within the society. If everyone could just be a human being, rather than having to classify themselves as being a republican or a democrat, a baptist or a catholic, a black person or a white person, I think we would be doing alright. If Stargate Atlantis has taught me one thing, it’s that we are all members of the same species, regardless of what color we are, or what planet we live on, and if we are going to defeat the wraith threat, we have to work together. Granted we face problems greater than just the impending wraith attack, or the internal disruption I’m talking about here, but if you have a good foundation to start with, whatever you decide to build will, for the most part, stand the test of time. The ancients have taught us that.

I also believe that as soon as the powers that be brainwashed society into thinking the whole point of life was to get as much money and material possessions as possible in the time allotted, and fuck everyone else, you created a huge problem. Now, instead of people working together with their neighbors to achieve a common goal, they are working against each other, trying to get as much shit as they can, destroying everyone and everything in their path. Granted, the majority of people are, for some mysterious reason, intrinsically pulled toward being greedy and selfish, but I believe that is a problematic bi-product of hundreds of years of conditioning and subtle brainwashing generously provided via advertisements and propaganda by the government and those who fund them. So what do we do? Either we can continue to live trapped in a blue dream created by those who have been corrupted by the power, or we can unplug ourselves. Turn the tv off, turn the internet on, and keep an open mind. Put your trust in science and logical thinking rather than blind faith and outdated belief systems. Think for yourself, and listen to the Jamhole. The rest will fall into place.

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May 17
Ep 349: Snapper Trapper
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 17th, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 349: Snapper Trapper [65:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“Are we talkin’ Wraith rape?”

You know the world is truly coming to an end when things like this happen. Not only the fact that it happened, but that it was at the top of my google news entertainment section. Justin Beiber has been nominated for a black entertainment television award. Nominated for what? Cutest prison bitch of the year? I apologize, that was a racist thing to say. The kid is like sixteen years old, and apparently the Canadian symbol of idolatry at the moment. The first time I ever heard of Justin Beiber was from a fucking twitter trending topic. I kept seeing his name up there, so finally one day I was like who the fuck is this? I checked out his music, and sure the kid can sing, but the music was exactly like every other song on the radio or television today. Complete crap. They are fooling the fuck out of you, and you pay them to do it. It’s the greatest business model ever! I don’t usually write about “celebrities” but I really didn’t have much else to write about, and this kind of blew my mind. It’s really funny to me that out of all the music that’s ever been made, either white or black, it ends up being some sixteen year old Canadian kid from Bumfuck Onatario that bridges the race gap with a bridge that neither Eminem, nor Jay Z could burn down. Then again, we’re talking about B.E.T. here, which is owned by Viacom, which is owned by a bunch of rich white Jews. B.E.T. is for the “White” black people. It’s like Wayne Brady or Obama. They are “white” black people. I guess it’s only fair, considering we have no shortage of “black” white people. Especially up here in Kalispell. So yea, that’s all I got for you. Back to work on the Hot Box. Oh right, here’s the show notes…

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May 14
Ep 348: Amateur Hour
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 14th, 2010 | | 1 Comment »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 348: Amateur Hour [71:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“I don’t want to see you lick your own semen.”

Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. Such true words from the doctor of love himself, Leo Buscaglia. Leo was born in 1924, and I’m curious what it was like for him back in his prime, elegantly boning down on mid forties house wives, sneaking into their bedrooms mid day while husbands were at the office or factory bringing home the bread so to speak. Ah to be in your early twenties during the forties and fifties, experiencing everything life had to offer a young strapping lad back then. God dammit, smoking cigarettes was so fucking sexy back then. Now every time we light one up, people stare at us like we’re smoking crack or something. Anyways, they had no shortage of war to keep everyone busy and the economy rising. It was an interesting time, especially when the threat of impending nuclear fallout was on the tip of everyone’s tongues. For those twenty years, it seems like all you really read about in the history books (wikipedia) is the wars. It makes me wonder when people read about our history, if there will be the same amount of focus on war as there is when we read about previous times. I mean fuck, we’re doing some pretty cool fucking shit technologically speaking, and I would be super pist if all that made it into the history books was the war in the middle east. So yea, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I really don’t have shit to write about, and I need to get some stuff taken care of for the marijuana podcast. We finally have a name for it. It’s going to be called The Hot Box. Keep an eye out for episodes to start being released sometime in the next few weeks. I still have to theme the blog and create the pages, and finish the graphics, but we’re very excited for this, and if you are into anything marijuana related, this will be the podcast for you. If you have some skills and some spare time you’d like to volunteer for the Hot Box, we could use some graphic / web design help. Just figured I would throw that out there, I know for a fact we have some really talented listeners. Email info@thejamhole.com if you are that person.

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May 12
Ep 347: Sex Addict
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 12th, 2010 | | No Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 347: Sex Addict [80:06m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“I don’t wish I was there, but thank you for the post card.”

Nothing is going all that well in the world, so why should my life be any better. I try to do what I feel in my heart to be right, but it rarely ever is. Perhaps I should start doing the opposite of what my heart tells me to do. I’ll show him. Some people simply weren’t meant to be together, but I don’t think that’s the case. Honestly, I have no idea what the case is, or what it contains. I don’t know much of anything at the moment. Like I’ve reverted back to a simplistic form of autopilot. Eyes puffy, nose runny, contemplating exactly what the fuck has gone wrong this past week. Hindsight right? Yea, right… I don’t know what to do. Is it right that I have to give up everything while she gives up nothing? Is it fair that I am willing to do anything she wants me to do for her, but that feeling is not passed back to me? I don’t think it is, but that’s how much I love her. I’m willing to give up my favorite thing just so I can be with her. But then I think about that, and it makes me upset. Why should I have to give up my favorite thing? I mean fuck, it’s my favorite thing! I do everything I can to make her happy, why doesn’t she do the same? I guess if relationships were easy, everyone would have one. But still, I’ve never been one to just walk away from a challenge, the problem is we are both very stubborn people. Which goes back to my point about me making all the changes to suit her needs, and her not really changing much of anything to suit mine. But regardless of what happens, I love her with all my heart, or at least the pieces I’ve picked up off the floor and scraped off her shoe in order to glue back together into something that once, might have resembled my blood pumping organ. Hearts are very important, broken ones as well as whole ones. I heard a wise man once say, “Kid, you gotta have heart to make it in this world.” Well no shit, if you don’t have heart, you are basically nothing more than a lifeless zombie doomed to wander the world in an endless search for BRAINS! Wish us luck, and please feel free to send any and all comments on the matter to info@thejamhole.com. We would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. Thank you.

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May 7
Ep 346: Revenge of the Syph
posted by: mat in podcast on 05 7th, 2010 | | 3 Comments »
 
icon for podpress  Ep 346: Revenge of the Syph [72:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“When people stare at the sun, they go blind.”

Apparently, the best and brightest of our valley came out to the city library on last Thursday to watch a film entitled “Epic: The Story of the Waffen SS.” It was probably nothing short of a klan meeting up in there, but there were some people who came out to protest it. The unfortunate thing is that most of the people who were protesting it, were doing so on behalf of the United Church of Christ. I only say that because the person coordinating the protest just so happens to be the pastor of said church. It’s cool though, as long as they were out there protesting nazi’s who decided the Flathead Valley would make a great place to call home, and not going door to door trying to con you into believing their fairytale, I’m ok with it. The classy gentleman who screens these works of world war two era neo nazi “art” was quoted as saying,

“It’s a fucking freak show, they’re all the same queers and Jews and shit that were at the gay pride parade.”

This is a classic text book example of exactly why the world is completely ass backwards fucked up. It’s people like this who live their day to day lives in the mind state that they are better than everyone else just because they just so happened to have the genes that make you white rather than genes that make you black. It’s a fucking crap shoot you inbred hidda hadda herdda speaking backwoods retards. You can’t base any sort of societal status on a completely random event you had absolutely nothing to do with whatsoever. It’s like saying I make more money than you just because I’m a dude and you’re a chick. Ok wait a minute, that was a bad example, but you get what I’m saying.

Anyways, do you want to know the funniest part about his whole mess? The paper says, “A scuffle broke out as the protesters took photos of some of the people entering and a woman’s camera was broken. Kalispell Police arrested April Gaede and Mark Harrington for the incident, charging them both with assault and criminal mischief, misdemeanors, and led them out of the library in handcuffs.” Do you all remember who April Gaede is? She is the mother of the Prussian Blue girls, and that woman we talked about a while ago who was on that stormfront website posting up shit about the valley so other unevolved white supremacists and white power ego freaks like herself can move up here. Pretty fucking amusing right? I guess it’s true what they say, karma is a bitch. I’m sure the valley could do without people like this living here, so I think we should get together, and run them the fuck out of town, 1800′s cowboy style. You know, just for fun.

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