Ep 241: Politics

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“Your job is to purposely not help anyone.”

The moral of the story is just sit back, relax and smoke some weed. There is absolutely nothing you can do that is going to make a bit of good increase anywhere, for any amount of time. So fuck it. I like to increase my inner good to the power of 10, that way even when you bring me down, I’m still good. I mean shit, in my mind we’ve already solved all your problems, we’re just waiting for you to catch the fuck up. That’s what life is like being ahead of the game. I mean sure, we can step down a few feet and discuss things on your level, but why spoil the party? Grasp the quantum entanglement within and make it happen.

  • You are just buying water, and getting scammed. That’s sad to me.
  • When your kids are sick, you should take them to the doctor, not to the magick shop.
  • I do surgery with my mind. It’s no big deal.
  • Homeopathy vs. Pharmaceuticals
  • Has anyone seen our social security?
  • How much do you owe because you randomly got sick?
  • Let’s try and solve this one more time. Listen up this time.
  • Are we still wasting trillions of dollars on war? That’s too bad.
  • The Obama school talk. We don’t want to air that because he’s a communist or something.
  • Dead people don’t pay taxes, fyi.
  • Government doesn’t work when retards are in charge of shit.
  • I wish I was the executive vice president of jerking off.
  • Piss in this cup or I’ll stick a catheter up your dick hole then punch you in the stomach. I don’t trust your test.
  • Eating your childs brain to gain its courage. It’s better than ramen, plus, the devil told me to do it.
  • Leave Woody Harrelson alone, we’re all drug addicts.
  • Trying to orgasm while on opiates may be the single hardest thing anyone has ever done in the world.
  • Danni lies about getting addicted to pills and cocaine in third grade.
  • Have you ever experienced a colostomy bag before? Let’s eat! Best insane plea ever!
  • Sunday school is awful, you should never make your kids go to sunday school.
  • I hope the sequel of district 9 doesn’t involve pedophiles and homeless bums.
  • If you didn’t agree with Ian you can find him at stupidllama.net or on the facebooks.
  • We did it, sex is great, and we’ll see you monday for an early show. Check the twitter.