Ep 316: Innate Intelligence

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“If she was ugly, I guarantee she wouldn’t be alive right now.”

Another week down, another week ahead. I have absolutely nothing to say, it’s late Sunday and I’ve been shitting my brains out. I appreciate it when Danni buys a tub of ice cream, and I eat it in two days. Sometimes I think she does that on purpose. She likes it when I suffer, crapping my life essence into the toilet, swearing to never again eat ice cream. I always do though. I can’t help it. It’s my curse I suppose. Uncontrollably eating ice cream, and having an opinion on unproven idealogical concepts.

  • Thank you for getting me sick. I feel much better now. Look how healthy Danni is now! Except that she caught whatever I had. Enjoy that. By the way, we had the best sex in a long time on Saturday night. I just wanted you to know that.
  • Please refer back to episode 314 as we now go through the show notes. Have you noticed all the chiropractic places in town? Weird, I did too. I should be more clear when I make blanket statements.
  • Are those hiccups? Nice. Do you have a website? NOPE! But thanks for trying to get me fired.
  • I am not an expert on the ancient healing art of chiropractic. Please now refer to the show notes for episode 315.
  • I gotta take a pretty decent size dump. If you give a shit what I have to say, I’ll give a shit what you have to say. Usually…
  • Why are you so mad about a blog post? Have you read the other stuff online? It’s not just me.
  • WWJD??!? Number 23, would you give up the internet for a world free of quackery and religion? Sure, why the fuck not.
  • You are wasting money on bullshit. How can he tell what’s wrong with your screaming baby by having the baby hold onto a 1/4 inch audio jack? There is NOTHING in the magic box. I’m sorry, your baby has subluxated vertebrate. Let me sell you some highly diluted homeopathic bullshit remedy and give you a referral to the chiropractor.
  • Jenny McCarthy is still an idiot. News flash! I’m blown away she remembers to breath. Here’s the current body count, compliments of Jenny McCarthy and her awful advice. Medicine didn’t make your kid autistic, you did.
  • Redfox calls in with some breaking news. Jenny McCarthy discovers her son does not have autism. He outgrew his autism. How wonderful.
  • Speaking of epic fail, everyones favorite unconstitutional bill has been renewed. Privacy is dead, and you killed it. I guess we didn’t learn the first time.
  • If you have a miscarriage in Utah, you are probably going to jail. If you were thinking of leaving Utah, now would be a good time. A miscarriage is god saying, “Not yet honey.”
  • Pretending to be a chick on facebook to get pictures of naked dudes. Then using the pictures to blackmail the dudes into FULL SEX. Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes.
  • The latest weapon in the fight against HIV…. in Zimbabwe… Circumcision! That explains why I’m aids free!
  • If you would have kept an eye on your kids, your five year old might not have stabbed your two year old. Just saying… Times is rough in Detroit. That’s motherfucking amityville nigga.
  • Having lots of protected sex at the winter Olympics. Should have brought more condoms. How many gold medals do you have? I traded all mine for cash… And crack.
  • Feeding your rottweiler a five year old. The dog got his head like a football. What is up with you lately saying if it was my kid. BECAUSE THE STORY HAD A KID IN IT. Sometimes you say dumb things. Way to end on a high note.
  • If you have some spare paypal monies, or some tax money, send it our way to the store or the donate link.