Tag Archives: ward

Ep 256: Gangsterism


“Just put it in your fucking mouth so we can do this and go to sleep.”

The news is dead it seems, the people writing it are all dead, the people reading it are all dead. I’m dead as I type this to you right now, and you are dead reading it. What a sad emo world. Did you hear, people are calling windows 7 slower than vista? Everyone said xp was the shit, fuck vista. Then they said windows 7 would be the shit, fuck vista, now they say vista is the shit as long as all your shit is updated when you use it, and fuck everything else. This is why we’re all dead. The preachers are going to bring us that old time religion. You know, that same old time religion we tried to get away from back in the day when we first came to america. This is why we’re all dead. Every country in the world hates the united states, including canada probably, but somehow we get to be the boss of everyone. I like how we can have nuclear bombs but only us, and if anyone else has them that we don’t like, we’ll take them away. This is why we’re all dead. Speaking of the country, we owe about a babillion dollars to most of the other countries that hate us, so they develop their nuclear bombs on the down low, hoping the united states won’t find out. This is why we’re all dead. So keep on listening to podcasts, and watching television, and listening to the radio, and reading magazines, because hopefully someone on one of these shows will tell you all what to do when the shit hits the fan.

Thinking back now, I am kind of glad we’re so overpopulated. It will make the majority of the people good targets, taking the shots while the rest of us smarter less obese people will have time to get our shit together and get the fuck out. This is why we’re all dead. Greed has been allowed to run rampant within the walls of the united states, completely fucking up the equilibrium we started out with. We have whole industries dedicated to making a profit off of people who have lost all hope. Some of that profit is even tax free. This is why we’re all dead. We lock up countless people in jail because they smoke a harmless plant, yet the officials of our cities are racking up DUI points like it’s a game, potentially killing people every time they go out and celebrate. This is why we’re all dead. Enjoy your life while you have it and are still able to enjoy it. Make it out to your favorite podcast meetups, support your local live shows, communicate and interact. Make as many friends as you can, because one day, this way of life we have all become so painstakingly accustomed to, is going to explode, leaving in its wake a chance for people to rise up and start things over the right way. Oh and by the way, vaccinate your kids, or home school them. I don’t want the inconvenience of wearing a hazmat suit every time I want to go outside because you were all too stupid to keep your children vaccinated, and now we have a world full of disease out there. Just because your religion flourished during the dark ages, doesn’t mean you have to take us all back there. Thank you.

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