Ep 244: Jamholiness

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“At least the baby died and the cat lived, I’m happy now.”

Another three jamhole episodes and we put another long week of endless work behind us. Into the record books so to speak. Time flies when you do a comedy podcast three days a week. Once you start a podcast, it becomes part of your life, just like work, love, and eating. Given enough time, and it almost becomes a second nature of sorts. Pretty soon, your life merges with the podcast in a sort of symbiosis only seen in the most ancient of parasites. Don’t kill the host, live in perfect balance with the host. Don’t destroy the environment, rather, live in perfect harmony with the environment. The Jamhole is my life, our life, all of  our lives. If you were to add up everything that pisses you off in life, multiply it by not giving a fuck about what people think, to the fourth power, then divide by three, you get my life. You get The Jamhole. I love it!

  • If you are coming to the live audience show September 25th, go to the facebook page or the forums event page and rsvp so we know about how many people are coming.
  • Let’s take a minute to welcome Swine flu to our beautiful Flathead Valley. We will be checking vaccine records at the door.
  • I’m still not looking forward to the dick surgery. Let’s pour out a little liquor for my penis.
  • The Swine flu will make you crazy sick, but the vaccine for the swine flu will kill you.
  • Happy 9/11 to everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful presents. Also happy anniversary to Danni’s parents, and happy birthday to Lauren Hennessy.
  • The Obama speech was not show live in Columbia Falls high school. Perhaps they thought Obama was going to show the kids how to unlock the seven seals of the apocalypse or something.
  • I finished the book Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. I highly recommend it. The book I am now reading is Infected by Scott Sigler. Infected is brilliant so far.
  • Guess who is totally clean and NOT infected? This guy right here! Apology accepted.
  • Why won’t god heal amputees? Oh right, because god doesn’t exist, and you all waste precious time praying to an imaginary friend.
  • Next time you fuck, say Oh Mat! Oh Mat! Oh Mat! instead of Oh god oh god oh god, and see if you still orgasm. I bet you do.
  • This man prayed to god, and look what happened to him. God killed him at church.
  • Another sad kitten story from our most fucked up state. This is why you should always poop in the litter box, even if your house is covered in feces. Cats only poop on your stuff when they are mad at you. I bet that analogy works with girls also.
  • This is how to deal with a poopy baby. Just stick a cork in it. I said a cork, not your penis you sick fuck. He’s only eight months old.
  • Trying to find your child you gave up for adoption ten years ago, just so you can fuck him. Nothing makes up for long lost times like some good old fashioned butt sex. She’s actually not that bad looking, I’d take her down to boner town, and bone her!
  • We watched a few movies in the past week, they were pretty good. Check out The Casino Job, Monsters vs Aliens, and finally, Star Trek. Very enjoyable.
  • Building a box to get out of jail free. Nice work guys! At least he didn’t have to crawl a few miles in poop.
  • Danni has the attention span of a three year old.
  • Cops are now all up on the web 2.0 tip, so watch your back. Hey big brother, how are you today? Good, that’s good. Stop documenting your crimes online. You are doing their job for them idiot.
  • Danni’s call center job finally starts to wear her down a bit. Knock her down a peg if you will. You feel that sting? That’s pride. You gotta say, “Fuck pride!”
  • A little inside look at what Danni has to deal with on a daily basis. This should be fun to listen to.
  • Fuck my life, and make sure you get your entry in for the 120 gig ipod, and check out the September 25th party to celebrate 250 episodes of the jamhole!