Ep 244: Jamholiness

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“At least the baby died and the cat lived, I’m happy now.”

Another three jamhole episodes and we put another long week of endless work behind us. Into the record books so to speak. Time flies when you do a comedy podcast three days a week. Once you start a podcast, it becomes part of your life, just like work, love, and eating. Given enough time, and it almost becomes a second nature of sorts. Pretty soon, your life merges with the podcast in a sort of symbiosis only seen in the most ancient of parasites. Don’t kill the host, live in perfect balance with the host. Don’t destroy the environment, rather, live in perfect harmony with the environment. The Jamhole is my life, our life, all of  our lives. If you were to add up everything that pisses you off in life, multiply it by not giving a fuck about what people think, to the fourth power, then divide by three, you get my life. You get The Jamhole. I love it!

  • If you are coming to the live audience show September 25th, go to the facebook page or the forums event page and rsvp so we know about how many people are coming.
  • Let’s take a minute to welcome Swine flu to our beautiful Flathead Valley. We will be checking vaccine records at the door.
  • I’m still not looking forward to the dick surgery. Let’s pour out a little liquor for my penis.
  • The Swine flu will make you crazy sick, but the vaccine for the swine flu will kill you.
  • Happy 9/11 to everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful presents. Also happy anniversary to Danni’s parents, and happy birthday to Lauren Hennessy.
  • The Obama speech was not show live in Columbia Falls high school. Perhaps they thought Obama was going to show the kids how to unlock the seven seals of the apocalypse or something.
  • I finished the book Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. I highly recommend it. The book I am now reading is Infected by Scott Sigler. Infected is brilliant so far.
  • Guess who is totally clean and NOT infected? This guy right here! Apology accepted.
  • Why won’t god heal amputees? Oh right, because god doesn’t exist, and you all waste precious time praying to an imaginary friend.
  • Next time you fuck, say Oh Mat! Oh Mat! Oh Mat! instead of Oh god oh god oh god, and see if you still orgasm. I bet you do.
  • This man prayed to god, and look what happened to him. God killed him at church.
  • Another sad kitten story from our most fucked up state. This is why you should always poop in the litter box, even if your house is covered in feces. Cats only poop on your stuff when they are mad at you. I bet that analogy works with girls also.
  • This is how to deal with a poopy baby. Just stick a cork in it. I said a cork, not your penis you sick fuck. He’s only eight months old.
  • Trying to find your child you gave up for adoption ten years ago, just so you can fuck him. Nothing makes up for long lost times like some good old fashioned butt sex. She’s actually not that bad looking, I’d take her down to boner town, and bone her!
  • We watched a few movies in the past week, they were pretty good. Check out The Casino Job, Monsters vs Aliens, and finally, Star Trek. Very enjoyable.
  • Building a box to get out of jail free. Nice work guys! At least he didn’t have to crawl a few miles in poop.
  • Danni has the attention span of a three year old.
  • Cops are now all up on the web 2.0 tip, so watch your back. Hey big brother, how are you today? Good, that’s good. Stop documenting your crimes online. You are doing their job for them idiot.
  • Danni’s call center job finally starts to wear her down a bit. Knock her down a peg if you will. You feel that sting? That’s pride. You gotta say, “Fuck pride!”
  • A little inside look at what Danni has to deal with on a daily basis. This should be fun to listen to.
  • Fuck my life, and make sure you get your entry in for the 120 gig ipod, and check out the September 25th party to celebrate 250 episodes of the jamhole!
  • Antikhristos

    -At the hospital I work at they don’t typically bother testing to see if someone has H1N1 or just the typical flu because it costs something like $600 to
    confirm it. From my understanding it doesn’t really change how they treat it. Anyway the real count of ppl with H1N1 is probably way off. Not that it matters.

    I’m getting the reg. flu and H1N1 vaccines this month for free. You guys will probably die by that point.

    -The republicunts are just butthurt still.

    -Also you might already know this but the bupe in the suboxone will make you sweat like a motherfucker. No idea if you’re still on it but that might help explain part of the body temp. regulation problem. It’s also got such a long halflife that even when you miss/skip a dose you’ll still sweat like a motherbitch for a couple days.

    pz nigraz

  • mat

    Yea, it seems that i’ll be on the suboxone for the rest of my life, but I had the body heat problem long before I started taking that. I believe its a side effect left over from all the opiates I did when I was younger. It sucks, but it’s nice in the winter time. Keeps me warm. It really sucks in the summer though.

  • Antikhristos

    How do you feel about coming off the suboxone?

    I mean you really have to stop all opiates entirely for about six months for your brain chemistry to return to some semblance of normality.

    Since you have a script it would be easy enough to taper off of. Well not easy, but easiar anyway.

    I’m sure you’ve thought about all this before… but fuck taking that sub or methadone forever shit brah.

  • mat

    Honestly, taking them doesn’t really bother me, except when it makes me all depressed, but that hasn’t happened in quite a while. Of course ideally it would be nice to stop taking them, but realistically, the damage has already been done, I’m just happy to be able to function normally.

  • Rob Miller

    Hey Matt,

    Followup on that traffic light camera commment. here’s where I read about it.

    http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/27/2734.asp

    But that was in April, so maybe they voted them back in? Don’t know

  • mat

    It sounds like its saying that if they already had a contract and the cameras in place, they get to keep them. As far as I know, we’ve had them here for quite a while now. Just makes you more aware about your surroundings, and makes you not smoke weed at red lights anymore.