Ep 308: Rockin Knockers


“By the way, that’s not going to heal back up all the way.”

I love the fact that even though we’ve come so far in our evolutionary path, people still hold on with their last breath, to ancient traditions and thought processes. Sure, some people need that feeling of being watched over by a grandfather figure in the sky, and why not? It takes the responsibility off of them, and places it in the hands of a great all knowing being. I have a problem when you start wars in the name of that being, or you walk around all smug because you think you are better than everyone else, because god talks to you and not me. I’ll tell you what, those voices in your head, aren’t god. It’s you slowly losing your mind, giving in to the crazy that most likely runs in your family. Let’s face facts, if god was real, and he wanted us to believe in him, he would make his existence known. He would know that in order for us to believe, we need some kind of real proof. How does he know? Well silly, because according to his book, we were created in his own image. That means he gave us rational, logically thinking minds for a reason. To question every single idea we come into contact with. So if you really wanna get down to brass tacks, by not questioning gods existence, and blindly believing in it, you are, in essence, slapping god in the face. You are saying, “Hey god, thanks for this awesome mind, but I don’t really need it. I just believe what people tell me to believe.” Thanks, but no thanks. Plus, if you are so sure god exists, stop being sad when people die. Stop trying to delay your own death. You should be in a fucking hurry to get to heaven. Because you are not, that tells me that perhaps your faith isn’t as strong as you think it is. Open your eyes, and question everything… Unless of course, you hear it on the Jamhole.

  • There are many ways to watch the live show, either on the go or from the comfort of your own home. Hey Ustream, please fix your shit, we’re all sick and tired of the broadcaster crashing every fucking episode.
  • Happy birthday Michael! Please start being gay again, it’s for your own good.
  • Do not ever let your girlfriend fall asleep with your dick and nuts in her hand. Especially if she is having weird dreams. You may wake up with no dick. If you could see what I was dreaming about, you’d cry too.
  • The latest spam is getting pretty fucking tricky. If you fall for this, just kill yourself.
  • WWJD??? Would you be a complete sex machine, or let the dickless orphan have it?
  • By the way, your penis is always going to look like that. Thanks doc!
  • Was this marriage proposal for real? I don’t think it was, but you never know. Want to propose to your lady on the Jamhole? Contact us and we’ll make it happen… For a nominal fee of course. The kid sounds like he’s 12 by the way.
  • 30 scary things about food you probably didn’t know. You probably didn’t want to either, you’re welcome.
  • Being religious doesn’t make you live longer, but it might turn you into a big fat smug fuck. This story is behind a pay wall now for some reason, sorry.
  • Remember the crazy shovel lady? Let’s talk about the crazy shovel guy, who goes into strip clubs and starts swinging. Not that way…
  • Cocaine is getting cut with some nasty ass shit. It will make you black. Or your skin at least. Cocaine is a helluva drug.
  • Don’t ever smoke wet sticks, no matter how fun the black guy tells you it will be. It basically puts your dick in the dirt. Here’s a quick list of drugs I’ve done.
  • Do you remember witch hunts? They are making a wicked come back! Score one more for religion.
  • Here’s where Ustream fucked us… AGAIN.
  • Kidnapping a 13 year old so she can babysit your child… And also to fuck her of course.
  • If you would learn the alphabet, you wouldn’t get punished like this. Water boarding your children will make them learn real quick.
  • If you make the children watch as you cut off their mothers head, they will respect you. Especially if you make them eat the heart. That’s how you get courage.
  • Killing crazy retards. If the retard is fat and you are throwing the body into the water, you might want to use a bigger rock. You don’t need these retards resurfacing. Do you smell what the rock is cooking? I laugh every time I see rocks because of that.
  • Please help me get my beats out of lay away, donate to the show or buy some Jamhole church stickers!
  • If you haven’t already, please give us a vote on podcast alley, make sure your subscribed to the show, give us a rating and review on iTunes, and if you have a question, ask us anything! Also please make sure you are a member of our forums and facebook group. We’ll see you Wednesday!