Ep 318: The Fourth Kind

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“Don’t get married on super bowl fucking Sunday.”

Score some more holy points for the religious holy rollers, as if they needed anymore. The recent ignorance portrayed by the self righteous sheep in their pamphlet entitled, “Women & Girls” is simply apalling. Just when you think there is no way in hell these people could get any more intrusive, any more obtuse, any more in your face with issues that no one in their right mind should give a shit about, they go and print up this ridiculousness. You can read the whole story for yourself, but basically, it goes a little something like this. A car with two men in the front and a woman in the back seat go through the drive through at a Hi-Lo Burger in Bristol Virginia, waited on by Keshia Cantor, who was wearing boots pulled up over jeans, a pink zebra-print shirt with a black jacket zipped up over it. She has blond hair, dark eye make-up and a little red lip ring. You may be thinking to yourself, so fucking what? Sounds like every other normal teenage girl that works fast food in our society. As the car pulls up to the window to pay for their food, the lady in the back seat reaches up and hands Keshia a pamphlet. As she does this, she says, “Even though nothing is showing, you’re being ungodly” and “You make men want to be sinful.” Taken aback by these ridiculous statements in the pamphlet, Keshia finishes up the order and closes the window. Basically the pamphlet states that the sins of men are in part, the fault of women, specifically women in tight clothing. Because you know, we have absolutely no self control when we are faced with a sexy girl wearing sexy clothes. So what about all the priests that molest children? Are the children to blame for wearing provocative clothing, tempting these child molesting “men of god?” Leave it to the hardcore religious followers to have a thought process that stimulates such ridiculous thoughts as this. So the pamphlet goes on to say that, “Some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly.” Seriously? I mean is it April first? This has to be some kind of joke right? Nay my friends, it is no joke. There is so much wrong with this line of thinking, I don’t have the space to cover it all in the notes here. We will discuss this further on the Friday episode of the Jamhole. I just wanted to point out the flawed logic here, as if you all really needed me to. What I really get a kick out of is, the pamphlet was signed anonymous. Almost like the religious organization that created the pamphlet was ashamed at how ignorant they were being, but for some reason, they just had to get it out there. Un-fucking-believable. What will they think of next? Oh wait, I know, why don’t you work on making accidental miscarriages illegal in Utah. Oh wait, too late…

  • No one beats are rates. Really? I would have loved to be there when they thought that was a good idea. Silly people in Libby.
  • Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind. Is this for real or complete bullshit? What scared you as a child? Fire in the Sky was one that really fucked with my head. I also used to check the toilet for piranhas after I saw that movie as a child.
  • I don’t want to live in Florida, Danni doesn’t want to live in Montana. One of us is going to have to bite the bullet, can you guess who it’s going to be? I do apologize for being selfish, like I said, I should be happy for her that she gets to move where she wants to live.
  • If you cut your finger off while working in a kitchen, you should probably make sure you recover the lost digit before serving any food you were making. Just saying… This is why I don’t eat at Ihop’s.
  • Let me give you a quick science lesson. Carnivores eat herbivores and omnivores, omnivores eat herbivores and carnivores, and herbivores are huge pussies. Also, don’t eat seafood in a land locked state.
  • The choking game is making it’s way to New Zealand! Hey kids, if you want to get high, DO DRUGS! It really is that simple.
  • Pranking Kmart with a +5 wizard dildo. It’s ok, you were bored and drunk. God bless Florida!
  • Redfox calls in with an apology. Apology accepted, thank you. In other news, I’ll just do what the poll says to do. So if you want me to move to Florida, vote yes, if you don’t, then vote no. This makes my life that much easier.
  • That is a stupid tattoo you have on your butt, so let me carve my full name into your tits. With the beaver meat cleaver. FUCK YES!
  • Throwing cheese balls to celebrate newlyweds could be hazardous to your health. Especially if the newlyweds are completely fucking nuts. Score another point for crazy bitch drivers.
  • When fox hunting, do not get in the way of a gyro-copter. The blades will take your fucking head off. Who’s fox now bitch? Props to him DING!!!
  • Hey India, stop killing your women you crazy fuckers. Pretty soon you will have to fuck your goats, because you killed all your women.
  • I wish Danni could get over the sickness as quick as I did. I completely fucking annihilated that shit. I kicked it in it’s little virus nuts!
  • Another crazy sex dungeon is found after neighbors reported unusual behavior. Whatever happened to having good ol regular normal sex? Oh right, it’s BORING!
  • WWJD??!?! Number 25! Sex tape scandal, what do you do? Check it out on the forums and play along. Hey, pass the mind bleach.
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