Ep 333: The Whoo Whoo

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“This isn’t real dude, wake up. This is complete bullshit.”

Remember quite a while ago, we had mentioned that Purdue Pharma, the maker of the oh so popular oxycontin brand of party drugs, I mean pain medication, was messing around with a new formula, that was supposedly going to make it harder for all the party animals out there to get their money’s worth out of the drug. I say it like this, because if you know anything about street drugs and their prices, you will know that there isn’t a pill out there worth more on a per milligram basis then the much sought after oxycontin. Of course, this is the pill that started off my ten year jaunt into the cold dark surreal world of opiate addiction. Keep in mind, I was doing this way back in the day, when you could get a few pills for under $50. Now a days, the street value has gone up so fucking much, people are spending upwards of $1 per milligram. Do the math, if you have an 80 milligram pill, and you purchased it from a street vendor, you most likely paid $80. Completely out of control, and I’ve watched it only get worse. As the people selling the pills get more and more greedy because they are on fixed incomes, and see this as a huge opportunity to make some extra gambling money or whatever, people start resorting to more extreme measures to acquire their drugs. If you are an old disabled person, and you keep raising the price on the pills you are selling on the street, don’t be surprised when one day one of your “friends” robs you for every pill your worth. You brought this on yourself you greedy pieces of shit. Also keep in mind, this drug has a rapid tolerance that builds up with it almost exponentially. So now, instead of doing half a pill and getting really fucked up from it, you find yourself doing the whole pill just so you feel somewhat normal. It’s a vicious cycle that rarely ends well for the end user. Now fast forward about four or five years, we have people robbing pharmacy’s non stop, in some places, even robbing the same pharmacy day after day. Enter loads of news stories about people overdosing, children overdosing, the elderly selling their pills, and street dealers trying to find new and creative ways to scam a prescription for the “good stuff” from any doctor they can find. This of course pressures the source of all this mischief to eventually do something about it. This brings us to the present day, and it appears the new formulation has finally been approved by the FDA. It seems they haven’t learned from previous mistakes. Listen up idiots, it’s not the drugs that are the problem. You need to examine WHY people are d0ing these drugs in the first place. Perhaps because the quality of life has gotten so low, that people are looking for any kind of escape they can find. Perhaps it is in our nature to really like getting fucked up, changing our mind states, partying like the primitive animals we really are. So ok fine, you change the formula a little bit in hopes of cutting down abuse some, but I’ll tell you something, the only thing you are doing is making people angry.

People are going to get fucked up regardless of what you put in the drugs they have chosen to do. Junkies are very resourceful people, and if they want to get high bad enough, they will find a way to do it. It’s either that, or they will die trying. So Purdue says the new formulation will be much harder to crush, cut, ground, chew or dissolve in liquid. This tells me that they are putting some kind of wax or gelatin like gelling agent in the pill mixture, much like the generic brand of oxycontin created by a few other pharmaceutical companies had done. Guess what, people still found a way to get high with those pills. All it really did was drove the street price of the real oxycontin up and the street price of the generic oxycontin down. So like I said, the problem isn’t the drug, it’s the people. I would even go so far as to say the problem is society itself. So you put some nasty shit in your pills, people will shoot them up or snort them anyways, which will land even more people in the hospital, causing people to have more problems, which will make them either switch to regular old heroin, or some other pharmaceutical brand of opiate. It’s not like oxycontin was the only opiate out there people like to abuse. Why not go after the makers of Dilaudid, or Morphine or Opana or Fentanyl, or Ritalin even. I have seen people abuse all of these drugs, but for some reason, oxycontin is the only one that makes the news headlines. Weird huh? Here’s another piece of advice. As you all may know, I have been on Suboxone for quite a while now, and I credit it with freeing my mind from opiate addiction and giving me my life back. If addiction is such a problem, why are doctors only allowed to treat a specific number of people with suboxone to get them off the opiates, yet they can subscribe as many people as they want with the pain medication? That seems a little backwards to me, especially in a society where we are having such a mammoth problem with opiate abuse. So, maybe you want to change that around, place a limit on how many people doctors can prescribe opiates to, and let them treat as many patients as they can with suboxone. I guarantee if you started doing that, you would help way more people, and eventually you would see the numbers of people dying and getting addicted to pain killers start to drop. Just an idea.

  • Tonight we will be performing at Grizzly Jack’s for ladies night. If you want to see how we get down, check out the little internet commercial we made. It basically sums up what the fuck we do on Thursday nights. Also, we have some out of town talent performing with us. We know you are going to love it.
  • If you smoke cigs, listen up. I teach you how to smoke for free… If you have no shame. Fuck that’s annoying. Like a boss!
  • Mountain biking in the middle of nowhere with a full grown dog strapped to your back. Fuck that has got to be uncomfortable. Watch out for the guy reading while driving.
  • Please stop having babies for a while. Jesus titty fucking christ, we are running out of room, do you not see that, or do you just not give a shit? If you can’t stop having babies, then at least stop naming your babies Aiden. That is a silly name. I blame the women. How many eggs do you have left?
  • The world is lopsided. All the fat fucks are on this hemisphere, all the skinny malnourished fucks are on the other hemisphere.
  • Deepak Chopra, you are a fucking idiot. You had nothing to do with the earthquake in Baja. I really hope you were joking when you said that was your fault for meditating so hard. You whoo whoo practicing retard. You can’t apply quantum physics to the macro level. That’s not how it works. Here is the debate we were talking about between Chopra, Shermer, and Harris. It’s fucking brilliant.
  • Watching people get their heads cut off in a movie is totally different than watching a person get their head cut off in real life. Weird huh?
  • Just because you want god to be real, doesn’t mean it’s real. If you hear voices in your head, you are crazy.
  • Mcnally lost all of his shit in a fire, if you donated, you got a letter like this. Help a brotha out and donate to the Mcnally fire fund. I couldn’t imagine losing all of my stuff. Fuck that must suck.
  • Enter the contest to win an autographed copy of the Katg “What Do We Do Now” book. Sick rhymes by the way.
  • My doctor is old school. Wow, is that the first palm pilot ever made? Sell that shit on ebay, or throw it away.
  • The weirdest plastic surgery ever. You really are a Barbie girl. You disgusting fake fuck. Getting your back scooped? What the fuck does that even mean?
  • Weekend at Bernie’s, the movie you never saw. You just tried to bring your dead grandmother on a plane flight with you. It probably would have been cheaper to just FedEx that shit.
  • Please stop wasting land on cemeteries. Dig up all those bodies and burn them, then build me a huge house. So much wasted land. Who’s stupid fucking idea was this?
  • Elderly neglect, why was your grandmother covered in shit? Oh, she’s a shit freak, no big deal.
  • I have a fart fetish, I’m a sniff freak, or something like that. What a stupid disgusting fetish. I’m trying to get my girlfriend to stop farting, you are trying to find one that farts all the time. Just give it a little lick.
  • Hey Josh, suck my balls. Don’t make me write another rap song about you.
  • You can always email info@thejamhole.com, use the form at the bottom of the about us page, leave a message at 406.204.4687, follow us on twitter, facebook, myspace, or youtube. Just poke around the site, you’ll find where all our stuff is at. We’ll see you Friday!
  • Come join us tonight at Grizzly Jack’s for Ladies Night and some live hip hop! It’s gonna be off the hook! How off the hook? Just check out this video.

By Finn

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...

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