Ep 342: Suicide is Fun

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“How was I mean?”

Let’s talk about a little something called the virginity industry. I bet you are thinking to yourself right now, I had no idea there was even such a thing called the virginity industry. I didn’t either until I found this little gem of a news story coming out of Paris France. Most of the clients are women of middle eastern decent, because as we all know, the arab culture is re-fucking-diculous. Basically, to sum up the story, women are going to the clinic in Paris to undergo a 2,000 euro procedure known as a hymenoplasty. If you haven’t guessed it yet, this procedure reconnects the tissue of the hymen, and takes about thirty minutes under a local anesthetic, in essence, making the woman a born again virgin. Dr. Marc Abecassis is running the clinic and says he performs about two or three a week. This would be a very unnecessary procedure if it wasn’t for the outrageous consequences laid upon the women if they aren’t virgins on their wedding night. Some women have committed suicide because they felt like they had no other choice, other women have been murdered because they did not bleed the first time their new husband tried to enter their little hairy Arabic pussy cat.

According to the story, Muslim clerics (probably the same ones who said the earthquakes were caused by women dressing sexy), say this virginity issue is not about religion. They say, “We should remember that when people wait for the virgin’s blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions. This is not related to Sharia law.” Based on the previous track record of these “scholarly clerics,” I wouldn’t believe anything that comes out of their dirty disgusting mouths. I really feel bad for any female born into that culture. You are basically born into a society that doesn’t respect women one iota, and you can pretty much be killed for walking the wrong way or not covering up everything on your body except for your eyes. Granted, eyes are fucking sexy as fuck, but in all honesty, fuck that shit. I need the women in my society to shake what their mommies gave them, flaunt it if they got it and to be able to do whatever their little cold female hearts desire. Plus, if this whole problem wasn’t based on religion, wouldn’t it be easy to fix? People live and die by religious traditions on a daily basis, but laws and culture change and evolve all the time. So if this really is a culture based problem, why not pull your heads out of the sand and start fixing it? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have sex with an unskilled virgin every time I get married. Fuck that noise. Give me a slut who knows how to work that ass any day of the week. I mean seriously, virgins are great because of how tight they are, but that’s about it. They cry, they bleed, and they are very unexperienced. Unless of course your girl is a born again virgin, then she might have an idea or two of how to ride a dick. So once again, in conclusion, we wait for the middle east to evolve past their ancient outdated cultural beliefs and join the rest of the civilized world. If you are a woman who lives there, good fucking luck. You are going to need it.

  • I am so fucking funny, I don’t even need to say anything to make Danni laugh. That’s why we stream the show live with video. You can watch the live shows at thejamhole.com/live every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. / 10pm ET.
  • Let’s talk about shaving assholes. That was fun. A piece of advice from me to you, if you use the same clipper to shave your genitals as you do for shaving your face. Don’t go ass to mouth. ALWAYS shave your face first. You are so fucking welcome.
  • We watched the Drawn Together movie. Fucking awesome, we highly recommend it. That show makes me horny as fuck for some reason. Is that weird?
  • Then we watched a horror movie called Necromentia. Also cool, if you are into horror movies in the vain of the Hellraiser series. Good stuff. Suicide is so much fun! How do you intimidate a fat pig man?
  • A rather lengthy discussion about Tank Girl. This ends in a little micro argument. I suppose now I have to watch that movie goddammit.
  • Check out our friend twentysix’s music site. Shout out to Shazam for hosting it for him. It’s called Corrective Fluid.
  • A Jamhole update on the present we got mother earth for earth day. This shit is getting way out of control. You can now see it from space. They are blowing out about 42,000 gallons of oil per day. What a fucking waste. Nice work guys!
  • Thanks to MDS for sending us this map of which states allow you to marry your cousin. Hidda hadda herdda!
  • This is what happens when that huge flat screen tv on your wall falls and crushes your two year old. Now how is that family going to watch television? What a sad story. I hope it was still under warranty.
  • Fuck you Doug calls in to thank us for the book contest. You’re welcome Doug.
  • So let me get this straight, you STOLE the porno magazine, but you PAID for the smokes? That seems really backwards to me. You killed the Asian guy because he was so small. Have you ever bought porn?
  • Ireland is not having a very good time with shops that sell legal alternatives to real drugs. Maybe just make the real drugs legal and be done with it.
  • Oklahoma now has the worse laws in the whole United States when it comes down to abortion. If you are a female and you live in Oklahoma, you should probably just move. Doctors should keep their religious beliefs out of their practice.
  • Do you guys have horse trailer drive through espresso barns where you live? Just curious. In other news, send us postcards from your state if you like the show. Thanks!
  • How much money would it take for Danni to get knocked up then have an abortion? She always underbids these kinds of things.
  • Ending the show on a high note. A woman has been charged with having sex with a horse, and giving a guy and his jack russell terrier an STD. Fucking awesome! You fucked a dog, pig and horse, not in that order. Thank you Indiana.
  • We are rapping tonight (Thursday) at Grizzly Jacks. Come hang out and party with us while we move the crowd with some Montana hip hop! It’s ladies night, so drinks are half off, and we’re having another $50 dance contest. So bring your chicks and your dancing shoes. We’ll see you tonight.
  • If you liked the mix that was playing for the pre show, check out Dj Ztrip. It’s called Uneasy Listening Volume 1. The mix is in the downloads section.