Ep 450: Lucky Charms

Play

“If she was my grandma, we would sit back and smoke blunts and write fucking rhymes all day.”

I must like typing, because typing is all I do. Words for me, and some words for you. I want you to read what I’ve written so far, before you ask for more, it’s my faux pas. You would laugh if you saw me 160 WPM typing, on this pretty pink Sony Vaio, behind it’s 17 inches, I’m hiding. My notebook is for writing, keys are for unlocking doors, it’s another awkward case of I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

  • We are going to learn all sorts of shit in this episode. Listen up, maybe you can take something away from this.
  • No, waking up to my dead friend sending me Facebook wall posts is completely normal. Not weird or creepy at all. You should probably just let this one go. Because I am mature.
  • I did learn today that you can send Facebook a message and they will turn the deceased profile into a real memorial page. Should we do that?
  • Here’s a great idea, let’s all repost this message so we can get into heaven! Look god, we believe in you! YER FUKEN SILLY!!!!!! Stop that, you’re being silly.
  • Thanks to whoever hooked up our YouTube account to post longer videos. You have no idea how happy that makes me.  Also, congratulations to Danni and Paul the Tumor for being the first Jamhole YouTube video to break 10,000 views.
  • Check out thejamhole.com/poetryvids for the Get Poetry open mic poetry jam footage. If you wanna see my shit, it’s right here! If you wanna catch it live, be at the Boiler Room every Sunday at 4pm.
  • Let’s all note my mad editing skills. Take a look at the very first emo poetry episode. Now look at the new shit!
  • Hey Vatican, nice letter to your bishops about their mandatory reporting of priest abuse to the cops. Naughty naughty, especially for a religion. Way to imPEDE. Let’s sit and pray about this. Bow your heads. Dear god, could you maybe make your priests stop fucking my kids? In your name we pray, amen! This begs the question, WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US? Thank you Danni.
  • Can I make a request? If you are going to play my rap music on your podcast, please don’t talk over the song. My rap music is not petty background music to be talked over. My hip hop needs to be bumped, and bumped loudly. If you need examples, check out older Jamhole episodes. Somewhere between 40 and 100. Still I am grateful you guys are helping get my rap music out there. Download Lyrickal and Mat Lee’s Rap Music Project, and give that shit to everyone you know.
  • I agree with Redfox from the Sporkroast podcast. The survival of a shooting victim is not a miracle, it is called science. If you say something is a miracle, you are no longer allowed to use technology. Send your money to the Jamhole Church! We’ll send you a Jamhole Church sticker.
  • Who’s ready for Jamhole HyPnOtOaD? We now have ALL of the listeners. Someone should totally make that for me.
  • Fresh out of our most fucked up state, sent in by our friend Redfox. Hey, does your cocaine smell like a cremated body? No, mine smells like a dog… Womp Womp. Now let’s have a discussion about heroin.
  • Sent in by MDS, a Danni feel good story. Also if you listen right here, you can hear Danni use her nose spray. Someone is getting sick. I’m calling it, right here, right now. Anyways, this guy was doing post birth abortions using scissors. We at the Jamhole feel he was really providing a service that most people are too afraid to do. Well, maybe not necessarily with scissors, but you know what I’m saying. As Zackzack in the chat put it, Big Ups Philly!
  • Guess who has Cow and Chicken seasons 1 and 2? WE DO, fuck yea. Love that shit, even have the poster. Someone seriously needs to make us some I M Jamhole, but with the Jamhole logo. Make us all of these shirts. If you make shirts, then do what you do, and make shirts. I M Mat. I R Danni. I also want Seedless hoodies with Jamhole logo’s on them.
  • A Lotion man has been accused of trying to make a lucky fucking charm out of his unborn baby fetus. Yea, he killed her with an axe. That’s just how it goes down in Laos. And now I present you the worst Irish accent EVER! Shaquandra! See, this is what happens when you believe in silly bullshit.
  • Dude, that dinner was so fucking BOMB. My girlfriend cooks some wicked awesome food. Look at how awesome my life is. I’m doing exactly what I want to do.
  • Now let’s talk about what happens to a girlfriend who is not completely awesome. This bitch pissed her man off so bad, he actually set her on FIRE! Fuck yes dudes. 4 words: Stop drop and roll. What do you think he said to her as he tossed the lighter? Tell us in the forums post for this episode.
  • Did you know that if you read the show notes while listening to the show, it follows along like a book. Sometimes you even get super secret special extra insight. And now, my reenactment of the British chick who got set on FIRE!
  • Email info@thejamhole.com and leave us a message at 406.204.4687. You can also text me at 406.848.1739. Follow us on twitter and join the Facebook group. Then invite all your friends. Let’s break 1,000!
  • Check out the DubHop track on my Soundcloud page. This is my favorite new song so far and Soundcloud is the only place it’s posted at. It’s good shit, props to my brother Dj Marc Lee for making the beat.