Ep 456: National Sexual Health Awareness Month

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“You sir, are sentenced to life… of fucking yourself.”

I am amazed at society. I am amazed at our vast collection of knowledge, yet so many people hold onto belief systems that have been out dated for thousands of years. This is why I’m amazed at society. The knowledge, for the most part, is pretty accessible. The individual needs the motivation to go looking for it, to read it, to absorb whatever they can from it. Modern culture always builds on the information the culture before them left behind, or at least has for quite some time now. It’s been a really long time since we’ve had a good starting over. Some say that’s what we need now. Others say we just need a good restructuring. I’m down for whatever as long as it ends up working out for us on a positive level in the long run, at least better than whatever monkey fuck bullshit we’re doing now. We’ve offered many insights on how to fix the problems that face the world we live in here on the Jamhole. Some in jest, others completely serious. I mean honestly, how long can you expect this to go on for before we start running out of some pretty key ingredients? The planet can only hold so many people, so we are quickly becoming overpopulated. Clean water and oil won’t last forever at the rate we are currently going. We are fucking up the planet we live on, which is never a good thing. We are broke as fuck, yet we won’t legalize the one thing that will make a huge impact on our economy. We’re over prescribing the wrong drugs and have created a pretty decent sized army of opiate junkies who’s numbers increase each and every day. We encourage the absolute wrong behavior in social settings. But no one wants to do anything about it because those in power have gotten way too comfortable being in power. I still firmly believe in the fact that we lost sight of our true selves when money became the reason for living. We lost track of our true purpose as soon as we abandoned all of our hopes and dreams to be slaves, working for bullshit wages in even more bullshit conditions. Some of us are lucky to work for people who actually give a shit about us, but for the most part, I’m sad to say, that isn’t the case. Good luck to everyone out there, and let’s try to at least make it through this week.

  • As if you didn’t know, we do this free comedy podcast live every Monday Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. 10pm ET. Watch live and interact with the show on Jamhole TV. If you want your own name in the chat room, you have to register a free account with Justin.tv.
  • I hope you all enjoyed the shocking douche episode. Make sure to stay tuned at the end of that show to hear the phone call. Huge thanks to MDS for contributing not only the quote for that episode, but also the title. He was on a roll. See, this just goes to show that if you participate in the right way, you can get huge props from us.
  • Happy Black African American History month! I would love to hear from our black African American listeners, you know, if we still have any left. Just send along a little email that says yes, I listen or something like that if you happen to be black.
  • Apparently February is also National Sexual Health Awareness month. Hey, let’s all take this moment right now to check on our sexual health. A sick genital is a very unhappy genital. I really hope our community throws a parade with large genitalia like floats and balloons. That would be AWESOME.
  • Hey, who you going for in the Super Bowl? Umm let’s see, who gives a fuck?
  • I had a nightmare once that cheese heads were trying to give me a colonoscopy. That’s just weird. It seems weird to me to be that into something like sports. But whatever.
  • So this girl is driving down the road, and very unstable because of a recent break up. She texts her boyfriend that she is going to swerve into oncoming traffic to kill herself. THEN SHE DOES. In the process, she kills my friends sister, her son, and her unborn child. NOT COOL! Why did this take over a year to figure out? Unbelievable. Sounded like a pretty open and shut case to me, then again, I’m no lawyer. If you want to kill yourself, go kill yourself, why did you have to kill other people in the process?
  • Do you guys remember our little podcast scuffle with our friend Mike Boudet’s show, Am I Bugging You? Well here’s the end of that little genocide. We’re all friends now, and apparently our game is ON POINT! Who’s next?
  • So eventually, if you leave a bait car in the ghetto long enough, someone will set it ON FIRE!!! Fuck yea, nice job Gilbert Arizona!
  • Down to Kentucky for a little HIDDA HADDA HERDDA. They found crack cocaine in your penis? Hmm, if your life has taking you down a path to where you’ve found yourself hiding crack cocaine in your penis, perhaps it’s time to take a step back, and reassess your life.
  • We have a cyclist who got impaled by her handlebars. I’m really lucky in all my years biking, I never got impaled by my handlebars. Fuck that would suck. At least the driver of the SUV didn’t get hurt.
  • The U.S version of Shameless is pretty fucking awesome. Although I recently started watching the first season of the UK version, and I have a couple things to say about this. We’ll discuss on the Monday episode.
  • Also the Onion’s Sportsdome is such a funny show. I’ve really been enjoying that lately, and I don’t even like sports. The Onion news tv show is also fucking brilliant.
  • A story from our most fucked up state. This should be a lesson to anyone not happy with their initial sentence. You done fucked around and got an even worse sentence! Woops. Jail is such a fucking waste. I’m glad we have all the money we can print to burn on this societal succubus. We are so completely fucked as a nation, and as a world.
  • When the snow thaws, you might find a dead body or two. This is probably why you shouldn’t hitch hike. Now let me tell you a story about the hitch hiker I picked up today.
  • We should conduct a little Jamhole Panhandling experiment. I’ve done this in the past as a kid, and honestly, no one really gave a fuck about us or our sad sign. Fuck, we need a hidden camera from Think Geek. Check out their security section and get us something cool.
  • Another car bowling story. As if we needed any more proof the elderly should NOT be driving. You plowed through a shit load of people dude. Not nice. How the fuck do you confuse the accelerator with the brake?
  • If you weren’t such a mouthy prick and cunt, I wouldn’t have had to kill you both. See kids, this is why you should always honor thy father and thy mother. If not, she might snap and shoot you in the head.
  • It’s been a long time since we’ve done some local police blotter. Let’s check in with the good people of the Flathead Valley. Good times.
  • And that’s our show. Email us info@thejamhole.com or leave a message at 406.204.4687. You can send us stuff to the PO Box, and go get yourself a free copy of Lyrickal and Mat Lee’s Rap Music Project.
  • Also all of the videos from last Sunday’s Get Poetry open mic are up over at thejamhole.com/poetryvids.