“I’m sixteen years old and this is my baby.”
What do you feel strongly about today? Is it the same thing you felt strongly about yesterday? Tomorrow? Ten years ago? The concept of time blows my mind, and I’m alright with saying that… for now. Ticking down to entropy, disorder, chaos, whatever you wanna call it while your lord plays us like controllers. Watching as the path takes it’s course, leaving everything and everyone, including us, in the dust. Blah blah blah, here’s some notes.
– A lot of realizations have been come to. Clearly, the show is not going to make us rich. It would be nice if the show paid for itself, rather than the other way around, but we do this because we enjoy doing it.
– Let me, let her, explain how broke we actually are. The cubboards are EMPTY.
– Whatever that was she cooked, made me have to shit my fucking BRAINS OUT! Nay, I will not make it to work without shitting myself. Let me tell you all about my shitty day.
– Someone should make an app that checks your location then tells you all about some nice public bathrooms. That would rock, and I want a check!
– How fucking hungry were you? I was so fucking hungry last night I woke up with a closed throat and swollen eyes. Danni is a delicate flower. Get your eyes right. Oh, and hey, did you find your glasses yet?
– When was the last time you bought flour? What the fuck is flour? Hey, how did those pancakes taste? By the way, I used three year old flour to cook them with. Enjoy that shit.
– Did you see this tree? Yea, she draws sometimes. If you want her to draw you something, email firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll even make sure she hand crafts you a frame. By hand! Not exactly what I meant when I said you need to get a job. But sure, whatever works.
– Steve Jobs resigns as Apple CEO. Apple isn’t one man, and Steve didn’t hand make each one of your magical gadgets. He hasn’t died, though you wouldn’t know that from all my gay friends crying online.
– How did you get the old 1995 Packard Bell computer to make that awful DER sound?
– Would you say that using the power of the Book has enabled you to do MORE drugs? Or does it not really matter one way or another? Facebook is the enabler, allowing for easier access. I think someone is missing out on a huge business killing in the app / drug hooking up business. There should totally be an app for that, which allows users to comment and rate their experience copping the goods.
– For 8 hours a day your friends are out fucking. You bored? Let’s go do drugs and fuck. That’s what school is. Let’s listen and learn about the school for pregnant teenagers Danni may or may not have gone to as a child.
– Show of hands, who is turned on by stretch marks? I’m curious, so email email@example.com if that is you. I also need an explanation why. Are you a fortune teller?
– Let it be known, that you should THINK before you POST. Can we do that maybe? I know it’s going to be hard. If you want to mange your social media the best, try Seesmic and My6sense. If you don’t think before you post, I am going to report your face on Facebook for offending me, using their new social snitch plugin.
– You know how I know god is about to unleash some pain again? Because this Hidda Herdda is building an Ark. It’s going to be the 155 million tax free dollar centerpiece Yea… Maybe take half of the money this is going to cost, and go get some EDUCATION… Gods word is true… Except that it’s not. We’re going to make god look so real, we’ll get people to believe in anything.
– Let me introduce you to the parasitic brain eating amoeba. Have you ever seen Metroid? Let me tell you a little something about parasitic brain eating amoeba. No good. Suck her brains clean out. Also, if you go fishing, you might die of meningitis. Let’s hear it for natural selection! That’s a show. Let’s recap.