Tag Archives: episode 326 lucky lemmings

Ep 326: Lucky Lemmings

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“Can you stop hacking wep keys for just 5 minutes please.”

So I saw a sign the other day that read “Church Divorce Care” on it. I just wanted to let you know, that I am saddened by the fact that one of the few groups still alive today that still honestly give a fuck about “marriage” enough to not want the “fags” and “homos” to be allowed to participate, they have realized that, it is in fact “retarded” to think that two people should be insane enough to last more than a couple of decades (if that), and that eventually when the love story comes to an end, like all of your friends have already figured out it has, they will need a “holy” shoulder to cry on. So now the church stance is marriage is sacred and holy and all that bullshit, but you know, if you can’t “tough” it out, then we’re ok with that too. It must have been “the devil” who tricked you into getting her knocked up right? Of course it was. Sign on the dotted line, I’ll collect my $500 “blind eye of god” fee, along with my $350 “keep my mouth quiet to the congregation” fee, and we’ll all be on our ways. We’ll be seeing you Sunday right? Of course we will. Going through a divorce can be tough, I firmly believe “god” of all things knows that. So when all else fails, like is usually the case, you can trust your local church to give you the divine guidance you seek. But just one thing, you can’t be cheating on your wife with someone else in the church, then act all surprised when you come home to find your wife sucking off the preacher with a finger in his ass. In other thoughts, have you ever referred to your wife or girlfriend’s vagina as “that fucker?”  Next time she’s naked, turn the light on and yell, “Holy shit, look at that fucker!” “Bring that fucker over here.” What can I say, I’m a romantic. Some say one of the few left roaming this cursed planet of ours.

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