Ep 296: Sperm Wars


“I’m never licking your taint again.”

Sarah Palin on fox? Hahahaha, that seriously confirmed the image  I had in my mind’s eye when people said the words Fox News. Sarah fucking Palin. I would totally be all for it if she was replacing glenn beck, or some other woman, but she is a fucking news analyst? Does she even know how to spell analyst? You can’t spell analyst without anal, so maybe she does. Maybe her and Bill Oreilly can come out with a sex tape together… Throw in some Larry King with a side of Andy Rooney, gangbang style, and you got yourself a program. If I was a rich, rich man, I would make commercials like that. Just a big fucking orgy with all of the droning voices of hidda hadda herda amercia’s favorite personalities. I hate that I am related, associated, and affiliated with human beings who think this retard is going to make positive changes in the world. She is a fucking retard, and you can take me to court for saying that, because I have indisputable evidence that this woman has retard in her blood. Maybe it’s a ploy by the government, and they are going to kill everyone who tunes in to watch her. Kind of like what they tried to do with Aids, but more effective. If you watch this woman on tv and nod your head like you understand what the fuck she is saying, you are going to get killed by the american government. Because you are a retard. At the very least I think some liberal spaying and neutering should take place. ( NO PUN ) Then again, I think some conservative spaying and neutering should also take place. ( PUN )

  • Hey, guess who finally found my rebate! If your business uses rebates, you are a scumbag.
  • I finally figured out what the crazy shovel lady does. She shovels snow! No fucking shit right?
  • Who’s up for a Sweatshop Union show in Big Sky Montana Saturday January 23rd?
  • Did you get your hair cut?
  • Stop asking me to sign up for online bill pay. I will not!
  • Codespell was awesome. MythOS is equally so far awesome. Thanks Kelly McCullough
  • Let me school you about sperm. Dudes, listen up. Danni explains what’s in our balls to us.
  • How many chicks are you banging? Keep your sperm in optimus prime condition. (fuck you Michael Bay)
  • We have different types of sperm because women are hoe bags sluts.
  • The ass problem has cleared up thanks. Told ya, 3 days tops. Speaking of, how dangerous is it to read on the crapper? Let’s find out… Anal cushion, anal cushion, anal cushion.
  • Danni shares a secret about all you beautiful pristine bitches. Disgusting…
  • Who wants a sex robot? We have a follow up to this for Wednesday.
  • Detroit? NAH…
  • I seen a dog eat it’s own shit, but not people. What about babies? Sure, why the fuck not. You got suckered into raising another man’s child. GO YOU!
  • It is more normal for the chick to suck penis. I don’t make the rules, but I will play the game.
  • Leave Allah alone! Or else we will firebomb your shitty catholic church. That shouldn’t be a problem for you, because you have an all powerful god on your side. It’s your fault for cheating catholics. Not nice.
  • Michael Vick raped the pit bull that raped this two year old. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s not what it looks like. Also, put clothes on your baby. No one wants to see that.
  • He’s the only ex I stay in touch with really. Maybe. Ok, I am a huge liar. Let’s talk to one of Danni’s exes about getting some penis in the mouth. All chicks love penis in the mouth.
  • It’s never too hot to suck cock.
  • Let me tell you about Fat Murphy. Look at my vagina and / or testicles. Thanks Allah!
  • Hey Josh, go get that cable so you can call The Jamhole.
  • You’re six, what the fuck are you stressing about? Have we fucked the world up so much that six year olds are resorting to suicide? Only the autistic retarded ones.
  • Our god question for the episode by the good doctor. (Send us drugs). Just kidding. No but seriously. Oxy 80s sucka!
  • A voicemail from twentysix. Thank you, the feed in listen doesn’t work. Email google and have them fix that. Thank you. Or use beyondpod or something.
  • You can go eat snow.
  • I uploaded two new emo poetry eps 30 and 31 if your into it. See you Wednesday!

By Finn

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...

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