Ep 274: Just The Tip


“I got like a little period blood stain in my pants.”

What a week, long drawn out, day to day work delivering thousands of pounds of water. I love the job, it’s nice to not sit on my ass all day. Keeps the blood flowing, keeps the love handles at bay. I’m gonna be honest with you all here. I love jerking off. Not as much as I love getting my dicked sucked, which is a little more than I love straight up fucking, but the point is, you know when you jerk off and you blow your load into a sock, or in my case, a damp paper towel, and you think you got all the semen out of your dick? There are few things in the world more annoying than a couple minutes after you thought you got all the semen out of your dick, when you start to feel a little wet spot in your pants. I wish the penis had a shut off valve or something. Once I’m done busting my nut, that should be it. I don’t want to have to deal with a leaky dick for the next ten minutes. Especially if you are at work, you find a nice bathroom to go jerk off in real quick. You can’t be wasting time waiting for all the semen to finish leaking out of your cock. I’m gonna let you all in on a little secret. Maybe it’s something you have all known for years, but I just figured this out in the past few months. The cure to stop semen from leaking out of your cock after jerking off is this. Go pee after you jerk off. The urine will flush out any semen that may be chilling inside your cock. Before my surgery turned my dick into frankencock, I experimented around with this. It works every time. I’m really looking forward to getting the stitches out of my cock. Have you ever had just the tip of your dick sucked? It fucking sucks. Sure you think it’s going to be great, and at first it is. But it leaves you wanting more. I’m hopefully getting the stitches taken out Monday, and shortly thereafter it’s going to be on. On like donkey kong. But for now, just the tip.

  • Mcnally did an awesome job editing Danni’s surgery video. You can watch a sneak peak of it on keithcourage.com, and it’s also on the forums.
  • Everything I look at right now makes me want to fuck. I need to bust a nut something fierce. You have no idea how bad this sucks.
  • It’s really fun when blood from my stitches leaks out onto my pants. It makes me look like I’m on the rag. Pulling on these stitches hurts… A lot!
  • How’s your boyfriend? He’s cheating on me, even with stitches in his cock.
  • It is very easy to get sucked into the app hole. Be careful when browsing apps for the droid. Or wallpapers.
  • Trapster is a bad ass app for seeing where speed traps are near you. They didn’t even pay me to say this.
  • You can also track your females period. They have an app for that!
  • Mosquito Sound (Ultra Sound) is the most fun app ever. Piss off everyone!
  • The Droid is still the most bad ass phone I’ve ever had. Just saying…
  • If the neighbor mentions that I’m cheating on you, just please disregard whatever he says.
  • Is it true that China and / or Japan owns a lot of our national forests now because we put them up as collateral on our huge debt? Take the poll on the right hand side of the site.
  • Danni’s doctor appointment went well. Other than that burning when she pees. I wouldn’t worry about that.
  • Did you know the ciggys you smoke may be more deadly than you first thought? You’re right, who gives a shit. It’s pretty interesting though.
  • Yay for Danni and her new job. Boo for frowning on taking smoke breaks. Oh well, you can’t win em all. Did I mention they begged her to work there? Yea, I don’t think they did either.
  • I still stand by my previous statement that line cooking is not a career. Just saying…
  • This is what happens when your a huge fat fuck. That recliner will be your death bed. Oh, and Danni found his myspace, if you want to leave a nice comment. He’s dead, but I’m sure someone will read it.
  • This is what happens when you don’t¬†discipline¬†your children. They turn out to be rancid bitches.
  • Do you think I could put my dick in your pussy with these stitches in? Yea, probably not.
  • Coke head Rabbi. The lord said it was ok. I was also trading coke for sexual favors.
  • I love doing stories that involve cocaine. Just to watch Danni squirm!
  • What’s black and white and looks like Michael Jackson? This ladies ultrasound! DING! It kind of does! You gotta see this picture.
  • Of course I saved the best for last. A heartfelt story about a father who put down his son because he raped their 3 year old daughter. I say the father goes free, he did what he had to do. That kid was fucked up, no matter what anyone says. He fucking deserved that shit.
  • Beat your fucking kids, before shit gets too out of hand.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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