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“I’m pretty sure the G stands for Gingers.”
Welcome back to another helpfully informative and fun filled episode of the Jamhole! We’re happy to be here bringing our eclectic mix of dark humor, news absurdity, and the occasional reminder that ants have been here longer than us and will probably still be here after we’re gone.
Let’s start things off with Roommate Beef, Ants Edition. BJ’s ongoing battle with sugar ants escalates as the tiny invaders begin spreading through the house. All well and good other than the little inconvenient evolutionary fact that ants have survived for roughly 140 to 168 million years, which means the odds of BJ winning this war are not great.
What would you rather deal with? Raw sewage or ants? Let’s take a quick look at the Big Pipe Tracker for Portland. Remember boys and girls, no matter how bad your week is, someone else is dealing with a clogged shitter.
Meanwhile, over in Kenya a guy got arrested for smuggling thousands of queen ants because apparently there’s money in the ant business. BJ remains unconvinced this is a viable side hustle.
Let’s talk about what’s happening in Iran. I feel like this war is going to turn into a tweet beef between Mojtaba Khamenei and Trump. I don’t want to spend too much time on this, so you can just read the article here on the NY Post.
No matter what happens in the world, you can always rely on the fact that cops are pieces of shit. Here’s a story about a cop shooting where the wounded suspect had to wait for a second ambulance because the first one was used to transport an officer experiencing anxiety after the incident.
In keeping with the cops are shit theme, let’s hop over to the UK where dozens of police officers were fired after being caught pretending to work from home.
We all know insurance is a scam, yet we all generally need to have it at some point. Insurance companies remain undefeated champions of the “collect money, provide nothing” strategy. Even if you need a new roof.
Apocalypse real estate is booming, and for the low low price of five millskis, you too can have a luxury underground bunker.
Episode 912 TLDR:
Ants have been around longer than dinosaurs and will probably inherit the Earth.
Insurance companies remain the most reliable villains in modern capitalism.
Some people will risk prison smuggling ants.
Others will spend millions building apocalypse bunkers.
Meanwhile most of us are just trying to keep bugs out of the house and gas in the car.
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