Ep 228: A Moment of Clarity

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“If the dick hole guy can do this I can do this.”

Everything is dying. From the moment of birth every carbon based life form counts the years which blur into months that dissipate into days which dissolve into hours that change into minutes which are made up of seconds that go tick tock, tick tock, counting down as our metabolism causes the cells that make up the substance of our material being to decay and whither into a worthless pile of sad memories. The older we get, the more we watch the clock do it’s thing as it has done for countless seconds in a never ending dance around the twelve sacred numbers. A very smart cartoon robot when asked the question of what time it was said, “Time is an abstract concept created by carbon based life forms to monitor their ongoing decay.” There is great truth in this quote, even if it does come from a robot. The only reason we have time is so we know how much longer we have left to play the game of life. Was there time before we came along and started keeping track of stuff? Who knows, and I have a headache right now, so I’m not even going to try and wrap mind around it. Basically, what it all boils down to is this. We are here for a limited time only. Some have longer than others, but it is the one thing we will all always have in common. We are always living from moment to moment, latching onto anything we can. Hopefully, during our last few seconds on this planet, we will finally achieve one final moment of clarity. A split second where suddenly everything becomes clear, and then… No one knows after that, not yet at least. But if you did know, it would kind of ruin the surprise.

  • Danni wants to marry Mat for his health insurance.
  • Rat tails and flat tops. Ask me how I know you live in a trailer.
  • The poor town of Libby, still dying.
  • The exciting hypothetical end to this hypothetical situation I described a few episodes ago. I’m glad breaking up is a good reason to not come to work… Hypothetically of course.
  • My math is awful. I actually drank 64 ounces of liquid. Fuck that’s been bugging me.
  • This is why it’s not a good idea to smoke pot at work. I knew I forgot something!
  • The most uncomfortable place I’ve ever been to in my life. I have to reschedule when I actually have cash with me. Fuck you std place.
  • Danni had a super sweet $1500 day. Guess what you get for that much money. A super dry vagina. That’s a sweet deal!
  • I saved your life, and you’re welcome. But it really sucks that Danni might have Endometriosis. We can’t afford that kind of disease. Lucky us!
  • Apparently Danni’s cervix is like Mat’s pee hole. I can do this, no problem. Practice makes perfect right?
  • Playing around at work like girls. Water and bathing suits!
  • Fuck all the places that we talked to or tried to talk to about having our 250th episode celebration at. How do you ever get anything done? Regardless we got it handled. Did I mention fuck the VFW in Kalispell? Go to thejamhole.com/map for the itinerary for the party. Also check out the forums event and rsvp if your coming.
  • No matter how sick Danni gets, the show must go on. This shit is therapy, so suck it.
  • Is that your penis, welcome to the neighborhood!
  • Lightning round movie reviews. All of these movies were much better than Transformers 2. Observe and report, Bruno, The Killing Room, Slaughter, and Aliens in the Attic.
  • Yet another dilapidated home full of shit. Have we learned our lesson yet?
  • You don’t get high from old drugs, you get seriously hurt. If it smells bad, don’t smell it.
  • This is what happens when you lose your head. He was old anyways. At least you save money on a smaller casket.
  • Did you know that rabbits scream? Did you also know that cancelling your sideshow subscription because you are a huge pussy is not a good birthday present for Tim Henson. I for one, did not know they screamed.
  • Another reason why Danni is the way she is. Her daddy made her eat her pet bunny when she was young.
  • Stabbing your parents because the devil told you to. Sounds perfectly logical to me.
  • Let’s play some voicemails. If you would like to leave us a voicemail, call 406.204.4687 or skype thejamhole.