Ep 260: Sex Monster

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“Would you say the internet has made you a better fucker, or a worse fucker?”

For being as technologically advanced in our civilization and society as we are, we seem to have a strange fascination with creating weapons that have the capability to completely destroy all existence as we know it. We don’t even have just one mode for total destruction either. We have a vast array of devices and contraptions that are all equally pernicious as they are  terrifying. You can’t really blame us if you go back through the historological records, the law of the land favoring the group with the biggest, baddest weaponry. Whether you are simply protecting yourself from invasion, or doing the invading, having the most high tech arsenal will always increase your chances of decimating those who oppose you. No shit you’re probably saying to yourself. Fucking duh Mat, everyone knows this. The point of what I’m really stoned and trying to get across is this. If humans are so fucking awesome and advanced and shit, then why the fuck do we still have petty bullshit problems to worry about like WAR, or using up all our natural resources, which also happens to play a tiny little discreet role in the equilibrium of our planet. Not to sound like a faggy hippy tree hugger or anything, but seriously, we are killing the planet we depend on to sustain us. No planet, no us. Know planet, know us. HAH! That’s like those stupid no god things that are all over twitter trends right now. I want one that says “No god, no shit!”

  • The whole story revealed about the cops here at 3 am the other morning. What a fucking bitch!
  • On the 7th day he rocked! One of the most entertaining movies I’ve seen in quite a while. God is stupid. Christian music is stupid. You only pretend you like that shit because it’s about god. The only thing you pretend you like god is so you don’t burn in hell. What a cop out.
  • Josh was just hating because he doesn’t have a family that loves him. YOU ALL should send a hallmark thank you card for keeping the jamhole going. Thanks Mom!
  • Hey adults, CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT!  You lazy shitty fucks, if I didn’t give a fuck about what people think, you WOULD be embarrassing me. Pay this nigga 5 bucks a dish, and when I deliver to you, I’ll do your fucking dishes.
  • It’s my birthday on the 22nd, go buy me something from one of these wish lists, or buy yourself something from the jamhole store. That would seriously help us out.
  • Danni’s surgery is coming up. That’s what she is getting me for my birthday. An ovary! THAT is why I love this woman. Also keep an eye out for the danni documentary. Thanks Mcnally!
  • Danni won’t let me fuck her surgery wound. Whatever.
  • Has anyone seen stereo radiation lately? Just curious. So I just went to their forums and found this. I don’t know why I never thought to check their forums. I’m an idiot, and so is everyone who asked me about what happened to them.
  • You need to unplug and slow shit down. Also, don’t answer your phone while we’re fucking. Just don’t make the dick exit the pussy. Keep that shit going.
  • Danni has a hard time paying attention for longer periods of time. It’s not her fault.
  • Can you tell I jerk off in that chair because I move the camera? We need money if you want to watch Mat jerk off.
  • Tell ustream to fix their shit and step up their game. This seven minute lag is unacceptable.
  • The book of Genesis from the holy bible. In super sexy jerk yourself off graphic novel mode!
  • Stop killing people over made up shit.
  • Three years for fucking dead people. Hey, at least he’s not fucking live people!
  • A stoned phone call from someone in the chat. We have some time issues. The chronological kind, not the other kind. He says he farts when he gets hard. Two words: Butt Plug!
  • Profanity party in the jamhole chat! That’s how we roll. I love my listeners.
  • If you have balls, I apologize for this next story. That fucking sucks, that’s all I can say.
  • The Jamhole has a whole new respect for the Chinese. They eat babies! You have to see these pictures. Baby soups on, come and get it. At least China is doing its part to help control the overpopulation problem. One child per family, don’t be greedy american religious fucks.
  • Psychic, psychologist, same fucking thing. That’s how bad your job sucks.
  • I put the parody diss songs from bigmouths and the jamhole up at thejamhole.com/diss.