Ep 297: Third World Shithole

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“Fox news flash, you’re the retard.”

Do you realize that having a hundred different versions of the same bullshit belief system is NOT a good thing? It wouldn’t be so bad, except for the fact that they all contradict each other, which leads me to believe that they are all bullshit. Especially if you use that logical scientific mind “god” supposedly gave you to think about it. All of the scientific evidence about the world we live in goes against most things the bible says. The funny thing is that we can have a lot of different scientific theories, but the ones that contradict other ones get tested, and the truth comes out. All you religious nuts do is say that you know your belief system is the right one, and when asked how they know, they respond with the faith cop out. I love it how some churches are giving money to Haiti, while other churches are saying that it was god’s will that Haiti got struck with an earthquake. So which is it guys? Are some of your brothers giving money to help the very same people that god just got finished smiting? Or are they just misguided? I know, hows about you are all misguided, and taking advantage of people so you can sucker them out of their money. Money, that by the way, you pay NO taxes on. Way to give back to the communities you are bleeding dry, just so you can have a nicer car, a more luxurious place to live, and an even bigger church to fill with even more people to take advantage of. You take the responsibility off of the individual, and place it on some made up deity, and some how that makes people feel better. “Well, if I’m such a fuck up, I guess that’s the way god made me.” You people animals disgust me. What’s worse, is that you have managed to brainwash these people so bad, that they will actually defend the people who are stealing from them. It’s a sick sort of Stockholm syndrome. If your god is so powerful, where the fuck is he? Oh right, it’s all a game, how convenient. I’m sure he’s very busy with trying to micro mange the universe. Open your eyes people, you are all being scammed.

  • If you send your problems into the twitterverse, they automatically get fixed. Code, programs, computer problems, or otherwise. What’s funny, this actually works.
  • Fuck Haiti, and this is why. It’s a shithole, and it’s always been a shithole. I blame god. Who gives a fat flying fuck about Haiti? Not us…
  • Fuck you Levi Lusko, and your Fresh Life Church. Way to waste four thousand dollars. Next time you wanna blow some of your untaxable profit, give it to the jamhole. We’ll put it to good use. The people of Haiti are just going to buy crack.
  • Word on the street is there is oil in Haiti. Now do you care?
  • Roxxxy the sexXx doll has been arrested. Whores do not play nice together.
  • Way to go Fox News. Hey, why do only the retards take you seriously? Let’s ask Sara Palin… Nevermind. Hey, do you remember when you voted for this retard? I am so ashamed of you. Fox News and Sara Palin, a match made in heaven.
  • Sweatshop Union January 23rd in Big Sky Montana. Who wants to party? This guy!!!
  • If women want to run the world, they need to suck a dick every now and again. We’ve worked out a little micro economy for ourselves. So far so good. I pay about ten bucks per blow job. Does that make my girlfriend a whore?
  • Rome is a great show, but I’m going to give something away. They kill Ceasar. Man that blew my mind, what a twist. I totally didn’t see that coming.
  • I get in a shitty mood if I don’t drain my nuts at least once every couple of days. I blame the killer semen. When you don’t wanna fuck me, that’s when you put penis in your mouth. Your best friend loves penis in the mouth, what’s your problem.
  • Would you rather be with a person like Josh from Bigmouths, who would rather play EVE than fuck his girlfriend, or with a person like me who wants to fuck and get my penis sucked all the time? I weep for Josh’s girlfriend. If you need a penis to suck, come to Montana.
  • I got you a flower. Best girlfriend ever! I have been very satisfied lately, thank you Ashley.
  • Why would you ever want to fuck a rabbit? Unless of course you get rid of the claws. I’d rather crush a bunny then fuck a bunny.
  • Killing cats all day, just another day. Kitty Massacre! I don’t like these cats or your boyfriend. DIE! I bet he was religious. Just saying…
  • Hey, remember Courtney Love? What a hole. Guess what, getting flowers tattoo’d on you, doesn’t make you pretty. You used to be a rockstar, now you are just sad.
  • When you are in vegas, don’t buy crack from the black guys. Buy cocaine from the white guys, then make your own crack. It’s much safer that way.
  • I need a face to fuck. I’ll pay ten bucks.
  • More proof that women suck at driving, and the Japanese suck at driving. In one combined super awful driver. Open your eyes and maybe you could see better.
  • Gay rights activist plays more than just doctor in his dungeon. It was just a sex game accident. We use guns and drugs to heighten our sexual activity. Shoot me in the face right when I’m about to blow my load.
  • Let’s answer some anonymous questions from formspring.me/thejamhole. Keep the questions coming! I don’t let dead people suck my nuts, sorry Nick Starr.
  • A little facebook drama for your mamma. Your children don’t belong on facebook, that’s what myspace is for.
  • Here’s a little marijuana policy reform update. Nice work MPP.ORG!
  • A voicemail from our friend Willygoat. Don’t worry willygoat, we are just fine. It’s my fault because I really like to read on the shitter.
  • New emo poetry eps at thejamhole.com/youtube
  • Give us a vote on podcast alley if you haven’t already. Every vote helps!
  • If we made you laugh, fuck donating to Haiti, donate to us.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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