Ep 322: Monster Head

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“I was playing the numbers game because you were being a cunt.”

It’s that time of year again, where the clocks change an hour, fucking up my sleep cycle. Thanks guys, just as I was starting to get somewhat used to waking up at the time I need to wake up in order to get to work on time, you go and switch the clocks on us. According to the wiki entry, daylight savings was first proposed in 1895 by George Vernon Hudson, so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. Once again, this is a testament to the human race trying to play god. I bet you think you’re really clever, switching the clocks to squeeze out that extra hour of daylight after you get off work, meanwhile wreaking such havoc on our internal biological clocks. I would be really careful if you have a girlfriend or wife that is approaching menopause. If you fuck with the biological clock too much, you run the possibility of breaking the whole damn thing… If you know what I mean. The next thing you know, she’s on your back crying while at the same time explaining to you how she needs to have babies like there’s no tomorrow. Tick tock, tick tock. I bet back in 1895 when good ol George thought of this idea, he never thought of the negative repercussions it could have on countless generations to come. Thanks again George! Why don’t we just put the clocks back two hours, or three or four even, I mean fuck, why stop there? We’re the ones that invented the idea of monitoring time passing, we can do whatever the fuck we want with it. Like in my house for instance, the clocks always say 4:20.

  • Happy birthday to Hack.Planet from the forums. Party time! For his 17th birthday, we brought him on the show, and made fun of him for not being able to talk into a microphone properly. It’s easier to type in the chat isn’t it?
  • Katg.com/book. It’s funny. Buy it. Also, Keith and Chemda will be on the Jamhole Monday evening to talk about their new book, “What Do We Do Now?” Also, keep an eye out for ways you can win an autographed copy of the book. If this book can help our relationship, you know it’s good.
  • Who would have thought a place called Grizzly Jacks would have a hip hop ladies night on Thursdays. Nice work guys. If you wanna check out their sites, you can see Poppa Pill and Lyrical aka Shaun on myspace.
  • Thank you for crashing Ustream, and to Danni for blatantly pointing it out.
  • So basically I feel bad for the fat chicks that were there, because all the guys were hitting on the just kind of fat chicks. Honestly, it’s only about a 20 pound difference. You’re almost there ladies.
  • Brayden totally rats me out for trying to get one of my ex girlfriends to come back to the valley. It’s called playing the numbers game. It’s called life. Thanks Bro!
  • Let’s talk about the life of a 17 year old in school. You get an F in IT Essentials, and you want to study computers? It’s not all world of warcraft is it? You actually have to study stuff.
  • Another quick MPP news update. Legalize it motherfucker!
  • Don’t take ambien and try to stay awake. It will turn rectangles into triangles. Why are all the young people insomniacs? I blame the MMORPG’s.
  • WWJD??!? Question 29, the great persuader. We all have some skeletons in our closets right? His just so happens to have little molested children skeletons in his.
  • The courts now show that Thimerosal does not cause autism. You just now figured this out? Let’s all try and keep up please.
  • Even more child molestation by those who preach the good word of god! Holy moly, am I right or am I right? It’s 2010 and we still allow this kind of shit to go on.
  • Shooting yourself in the nuts. That is all…
  • Has anyone seen James Brown? Or his body at least, because it seems to have gone missing. Maybe you should have buried him sooner huh? Everyone wants a piece of that James Brown money.
  • Going to jail because you raped, then tried to kill a two year old. Not just any two year old, but your son! That was your son, and you tried to kill him, after you raped him. Father of the week right here.
  • When the world ends in 2012, we’re gonna go ahead and hang back here, so if you wanna sign over your possessions to us, you can do that.
  • A Redfox impersonator calls in, with apparent server problems. I love the Germans!
  • Just to clarify, I did not rape Hunter.
  • Striking children in the head with keys. Maybe if your kids would shut the fuck up on their own, I wouldn’t have to hit them with keys.
  • Watch where you’re going, or else get dragged through a car wash. Now you’re being silly. This is why old people shouldn’t drive. Not even 2008 Toyota Matrix’s. Please stop naming your cars after sci fi movies.
  • Problems in Mississippi. Canceling the prom because you wanted to be a lesbian. Let’s talk about our proms. Now you are going to get sued by a bunch of angry butch dike lesbians. Good luck with that.
  • If you were listening live, you would have seen the gun show that Hunter graced us with. Thanks for that awkward little moment. Everything looks good butter face.
  • Let’s sing the happy happy joy joy song, then listen to Hunter tell us a story. Look, he figured out how to use the microphone, and it only took him an hour!