Ep 345: The Dream Team

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“Was he or was he not abducted by aliens?”

National prayer day huh? More like national talk to yourself day. I could easily understand back in the day, say around two hundred years ago or more, people believing in a big jealous omnipotent omniscient white flowing bearded being in the sky watching over each and every breath we take. But now, in these modern times we live in? Are you fucking kidding me? I get the whole allure of it, and for those weak willed people, perhaps it’s some sort of a guilty guide for them to live their lives by, but if you look at the state of religion today, it is so much more than that. I mean seriously, we have done many scientific tests on prayer to see whether or not there is any measurable effect, beyond just your normal every day placebo, and I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but when you pray, you are basically talking to yourself. Now, I don’t know about you, but when we see someone frequently talking to themselves, we tend to think they have some sort of mental illness going on. Of course, in these modern times we live in, that person walking down the street talking to themselves may very well be talking to another person, thanks to the wonderful technology that is Bluetooth. Although I highly doubt the person on the other end of your ear piece has any kind of omnipotent properties about them, unless of course they are your boss. But for real, cut the crap, all you are doing is instilling a false hope within people who may otherwise have nothing left to live for. Honestly, if you get to that point in life because you keep making stupid choices, then maybe you should just give up living in the first place.

I found the last couple of paragraphs on this article about the possible future of the National Day of Prayer (aka national talk to yourself day) pretty fucking amusing. You would think a day dedicated to the religous followers main channel of communication to their deity of choice would be one of the most peaceful events to ever take place in human history. Nay my friends, it is not. According to Charles Haynes, the National Day of Prayer was an attempt to unify people of different faiths, but fights have become more common in the last few years. He attributed this, in part, to the prominence the George W. Bush administration accorded to private evangelical Christian groups such as the National Day of Prayer Task Force. So let me get this straight, you have a day dedicated to praying, which is basically defined as any other form of spiritual communion with a deity, yet you have fights breaking out? I thought these people lived peaceful lives, because they are filled with the holy spirit. Also, what the fuck is the National Day of Prayer Task Force? Sounds like a government agency dedicated to making sure people are praying the right way by shoving guns in their faces and prayer books up their asses. It reminds me of the Northwest Drug Task Force. Except instead of enforcing ridiculous drug laws, they are enforcing prayer. Where the fuck did we go so wrong? This isn’t the way the world was supposed to be. I blame religion, or more specifically, I blame the corruption of an idea (religion) by greedy, power hungry fools. Someone should pray for them…

  • Let’s all welcome Lyrickal back to the Jamhole. Also, happy Cinco De Mayo! You get this one day Mexicans, then it’s back to work.
  • A huge thanks to Jamhole friend Gerard for sending us more 8 mile effect audio. He’s all about the flow this time. He’s right up there with Snow. If you can, please interview him. I want to know what makes him tick.
  • If I sucked that bad at rapping, you would tell me…. Right?
  • Washington D.C. finally gets their medical marijuana shit straight. Nice work guys, it only took you a decade. For more awesome information on the marijuana legislation front, check out our friends over at MPP.org.
  • Some local medical marijuana news. It seems the Kalispell city council is making decisions that are hurting our valley. Less churches and casinos, more medical marijuana dispensaries and head shops. Less bars, more medical marijuana dispensaries and smoke shops. Thank you. It is very clear the Kalispell mayor, Tammi Fisher, has no idea what she’s doing. Tammi Fisher, you are an embarrassment to our city.
  • Our friend, Sandy Cheeks calls in and schools us on exactly what’s going on with the local medical marijuana scene. She is also going to host our weekly marijuana podcast. It was her idea, and we love it!
  • A huge thanks to everyone who’s been sending their post cards to us. Check out the PO Box and send us a post card from where you live. Thanks AmHam!
  • A Russian regional president has apparently been abducted by aliens. I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit until we see some cold hard evidence. Unfortunately the only eye witness was a goat, and he was drunk on vodka of course. And to think, we used to be afraid of these people.
  • Spiderman puts the smack down on a would be shoplifter during a nerd comic promotional event. This is why I love Australia. That, and I really enjoy their accents.
  • Facebook can be a very dangerous place, as you might already know from listening to our podcast. This bitch kind of got what she deserved. If you weren’t such a cunt, you’d still be alive. FYI, the internet is no longer as anonymous as it used to be. If you fuck around like this, expect a knock on your door and a punch in the face. Did I mention he was a chef?
  • Lyrickal gets intellectual for a moment. Don’t worry, it doesn’t last long. How many weird creepy facebook families do you know? Email info@thejamhole.com and let me know. Thank you.
  • Is google skynet? Google Watch seems to think so. If I didn’t have a podcast, I might actually give a shit about privacy, but I don’t, so fuck it. If you really are that paranoid, but you still want to use google, try scroogle.
  • Out of all the cute fluffy animals in god’s kingdom, why would you ever want to fuck a cat? That’s just asking for trouble.
  • Do you take this huge pussy to be your illegally wedded…. pussy? Fuck it, I don’t even care anymore. Basically a weird German guy married his old dying cat.
  • If you enjoy the show, donate some cash to help keep it going, or spread the word. You can also leave us a message for the Friday show at 406.204.4687, or email info@thejamhole.com if you have anything you’d like to tell us, or any news stories you’d like us to talk about.
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  • Also, we have ONE Jamhole shirt left, in XL, so if you want it, get to the store ASAP!