Ep 354: Man Parts

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“If it’s gay to like a tighter hole, then sign up me sailor.”

Do you all remember a while ago, when we were talking about draw Muhammad day? Well, the results are in. Apparently enough people took part in this fun little Facebook group game to warrant a nasty letter from the king of Muhammad land himself, and when I say Muhammad land, I mean these third world countries who have their heads jammed so far up their prophets ass, they let the poop do all of the important decision making. I just now did a quick search for the draw Muhammad day Facebook group, but it has apparently been removed. In it’s place are a bunch of groups who want people to stop making fun of Muhammad, stop drawing Muhammad as a cartoon, ban South Park because they used a cartoon Muhammad, stop the draw Muhammad day, and the list goes on. I have to say, and I’m sure it’s been said before, but if your great almighty religious prophet gets a little butt hurt or has a serious problem with people drawing him, then you have a weak ass pussy prophet and probably way bigger problems on your hands. I mean seriously what the fuck Islam? You wonder why you live like fucking animals, with fucking animals, (some of you are fucking animals), because you are all so scared of someone making fun of your stupid little prophet, that you haven’t the time to take care of the more important areas of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s like you went a little weak on the basic survival and safety needs only to go way out of control on the spiritual needs, then just stopped there. Glad to see that’s working out well for you.

So basically we have a large group of people who can barely keep themsleves alive, who’s only worry in the world is that people make fun of their prophet by drawing stupid cartoons of him. Do you realize how ridiculous your lives sound to us? VERY! You should be concerned with the fact that it’s the year 2010 and you are still living like it’s the dark ages. See kids, this is what happens when you put all of your trust and hope in a deity that is doesn’t actually exist. If you had such a powerful deity who loved you and watched over you, you wouldn’t be living like such filthy pigs. I understand the whole humble yourself before god thing, but fuck guys, even the humble people aren’t living in their own piss and shit. I feel bad for you, for a split second, until I remember that you are like this by your own design. You chose to live like this in hopes that when you die you will get to fuck a bunch of virgins or something. I don’t know exactly how the story goes, but I’m sure it’s something along those lines. Why else would a bunch of men live like a bunch of animals like that? Duh, because they are promised a bunch of hot tight ass poon when they die. What a silly religion.

  • Dana takes the night off to pick her uncle up from Missoula. He has some heart problems. But hey, who doesn’t? Anyways, a huge thanks to Shaun aka Lyrickal for hosting the show with me.
  • Let’s talk about Shaun’s Facebook relationship status. Some things were never meant to be.
  • If you are an adult and you play farmville, you should feel ASHAMED of yourself. Here is the group about hating farmville, so go farkle yourself. He wasn’t lying. This lady was balls deep in some fucking farmville. How bad are you going to feel when a virus infects your whole computer network. All because you had to play farmville.
  • I finally found the line, and the line is “The Human Centipede.” In other news, I went back in for round two, we’ll talk about it on tonight’s show.
  • You know how you gotta deal with these hoes. Gotta keep the pimp hand strong. If you are interested in a bunch of white British pimps, check out the documentary “PIMP.” Don’t go by the IMDB ratings, this is really a cool fucking movie. This just goes to show you, can’t make a hoe a housewife. It will end up killing you.
  • Does anyone read the vanity cards at the end of every episode of the Big Bang Theory? Just curious, because I do, and they are so fucking funny. Chuck Lorre is one funny guy.
  • I saw a Jesus freak hoarder today, and it scared me. Jesus Saves… everything. Because he’s a hoarder. So check out the picture and see if you can figure out what the fuck she’s hoarding.
  • Let’s talk about what Shaun has been doing with his life. Watch kids, you can be just like him if you play your cards right.
  • We have more updates from the BP Public Relations twitter account. Remember, #BPcares! We also have another update on the worst oil spill in U.S. history! Have you guys tried to put a tampon in the hole? Just saying… Here is some more fun reading about the problem if you are into it. I sure am! No body plug’s em like BP!
  • Cell phone companies are getting completely out of control with their early termination fees. What other business makes customers PAY money when they leave their service? Only these guys. Thank you free enterprise! This needs to stop right now.
  • What you talking about? Oh right, Gary Coleman died. Pour out a little sippy cup worth of liquor for our little toy dog. Shoe box greetings! I guess god needed another angry black child who hasn’t acted since the late 80s.
  • Did you steal that phone? Let me throw my baby on the ground first, then we can talk. Why does everyone have babies? You are in high school, you shouldn’t have babies in high school. Stop it! Let’s do a quick reenactment.
  • We’ve captured a spy. We plan on torturing the spy until we get the answers we need. Did I mention the spy is a pigeon. Not a stool pigeon, just a plain old regular pigeon. Just make sure it doesn’t fly the coup! Maybe the pigeon was the one drawing Muhammad.
  • Running away from a dog only to get hit by a car. Thanks god!
  • Having sex with your hot sexy 29 year old teacher. The kid was 17, I’m going to have to allow it. As long as she is hot of course. I was hittin that, and getting straight A’s. Thanks for cock blocking me. No wonder she was “Teacher of the Year.” This kid was a huge pussy, I would have kept that going for my whole high school career.
  • Shaun and myself match story for story. I tell you about fucking the flesh light in the couch, he tells us about not being able to get off while having sex. Nasty smells will do that ladies, please keep your vagina’s so fresh and so clean. A dixie cup for your dick & nuts! Shaun is going to open up a sperm bank at this rate.
  • Stop having babies, and if you have babies, stop using them as yourFacebook profile pic. Thank you.
  • Check out Lyrickal on myspace. I rap with him, it’s cool.
  • If you like the show, donate some cash and help keep this beast alive. Follow my twitter and Danni’s twitter, the Facebook group, and make sure you are all subscribed to the Jamhole feed. Write us a review on Itunes.
  • Also make sure you are subscribed to the Hot Box podcast. It’s in Itunes, so search it or check out the site. Catch the next live show Tuesday evening.