Ep 360: Mat-Off


“You mean to tell me you’ve never stuck your dick in a vacuum?”

So it looks like our little town has started it’s transformation to becoming a little city. How do you know that your village or town is now a city? Duh, it has a super walmart opening up in it. That’s right folks, we have finally made it to the big time. I think what excites me most about this super walmart opening is that I’ll finally get my chance to participate in the internet made famous site People of Walmart. I’ve been a fan of this site (both on facebook, and IRL), and I’ve always been a little dissapointed that we only had a normal walmart. Don’t get me wrong, walmart is walmart, and people are fat and disgusting, wearing clothes they shouldn’t have ever purchased, but there is a certain mystical allure to a super walmart that really brings the freaky freaks out of the wood work… and let me tell you a little something about the kind of people that come out of the wood work here. Let’s just say there isn’t a single one of them that should be allowed to reproduce. The funny thing is, that’s pretty much all these people do. Get drunk, have sex, pop out a baby, and increase the welfare check, wash and repeat. They are going to be in for a wicked rude awakening when the welfare runs out and they realize that having babies isn’t really a job. At least not one that pays actual spendable money.

  • Your girlfriend might be a redneck if… Yep, Danni is a redneck for sure. Don’t try and deny it.
  • The difference between nerds and geeks. Geeks like sci-fi, nerds role play sci-fi.
  • Thank you Danni for telling Shaun about my jerk off schedule. It is very important I adhere to a rigorous jerk off schedule, otherwise I become extremely unsatisfied and will then turn into a raging DICKHEAD.
  • I have to get up the earliest, so the tired excuse doesn’t count. Until you have to be up before me, I don’t ever want to hear you are tired and that’s why you won’t fuck me. Let’s rationalize this a little more.
  • An update with the Littles! They had babies, and are now having a siesta. I think Shaun gave them the wrong pills. Easy mistake. D-Con and Viagra are both blue pills, so now we have rats with raging boners who can’t stop fucking. Lovely…
  • Do you remember the Osbournes? Their children are living proof that musical talent is NOT genetic. In other news, Kelly has a large shit problem in her mansion. Untalented shit attracts untalented shit right?
  • Shaun has pneumonia, and god knows what else. If you get me sick, I will allegedly kill you in your sleep.
  • Kelly and Danni love taking to Twitter to tell the world how unhappy they are. Fucking attention whores.
  • Every good show needs a laugh track… That’s all.
  • So after the rat poison kills the littles, genocide style, what happens to the dead bodies? I’m really looking forward to that stinking up the house. Is it possible for rats to become immune to D-con?
  • We haven’t had a story like this since episode 5! Busted trying to have sex with a vacuum. Oh yea, and he was a child molester also. Oh yea, and he’s 94 years old. Fuck yea! Shaun then shares his penis / vacuum story. Thank you Shaun, you are an integral part of the Jamhole.
  • I’m horny, any ladies wanna have some sex, email info@thejamhole.com… Better yet, email mat@ees.com instead. It’s much safer that way.
  • A sex offender bludgeoned his live in girlfriend to death, with a baseball bat because of another man. This story almost hits close to home. Did I mention he is 48 and she’s 28? That’s a good ratio.
  • This is why it’s dangerous to send 17 year old girls pictures of your genitalia. Especially when you are 23 and her daddy owns a taser, and a shotgun. According to Shaun, 18 and 19 year old girls are the horniest girls on the planet. Note to self…
  • Why do guys think it’s fun to show each other their dicks? Not saying that I’m into that or anything, just saying that it’s weird. Do Canadian guys do that too?
  • Shaun shows us how to properly have a threesome without touching dicks or balls. Thank you Shaun.
  • Do white people live on the Indian reservation? Only if they are nuts!
  • If you were trapped and your arm was all fucked up and infected, could you cut it off by yourself? Hey, what’s that smell? Oh nothing, just my gangrenous arm. This guy is a bad ass, except for the fact that he got himself stuck in the first place.
  • Danni gives us a quick run down of the movie Igor. Sounds pretty amusing.
  • Everyone online will be designated as “SHE” until otherwise stated. Just so you know.
  • If you enjoy the show, show some love in the form of a money donation, or just help us spread the word. Thank you! You can also leave a message at 406.204.4687 or email info@thejamhole.com.
  • Also remember to email info@thejamhole.com if you wanna sit in on the show and fuck ME! Danni said it was ok.