Ep 370: Freshly Fucked

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“I’m the only one just so you know.”

Do any of you wake up in the morning and think to yourselves, fuck, this again? Fuck me, I have to do what I did yesterday, again today? Well, I’m sure if your life is anything like mine, you go through this twice a week at the very least. When days start blending into weeks and your weeks start blending into months, you may be at the end of your rope. I find doing little subtle things differently really helps to break up the day to day monotony that goes with working a nine to five. Get out of bed on the right side rather than the left. Take a different route to work. Or dare I say it, kill your tv! I haven’t had a television in the normal sense of the word since I first moved out of my mom’s house. I think living this way has done wonders not only for my mind, but for me as a person. Obama said his presidency was going to be all about change. Well, we haven’t really ever had a whole ocean made of oil, so I guess that’s a pretty big change. Just be more conscious of what you do in your day to day comings and goings. If you feel like you want to blow your fucking brains out every morning when the alarm clock jolts you out of a hopefully peaceful sleep, then you probably need to switch it up a little. Turn off the autopilot, and start navigating the world differently. Trust me, you’ll thank me in the end.

  • If I wasn’t doing the podcast, I would probably be jerking off and / or fucking and doing way more drugs. Thank you.
  • I will be the last one. I will be the only one. There can be only one, and that one is me. Now that’s true love. I’m glad you still have your wits about you at least.
  • Happy independence day! Let’s all go out and get wasted, then blow off our limbs, so that we can really know what it’s like to be fully dependent on someone else. What a great holiday! What do Indians and black people do for independence day?
  • The Losers was a pretty cool movie, if you like that sort of thing. Also, season four of the I.T. Crowd has started. If you’re a geek, you will love that show. Also, if you can find copies of Code Monkeys, you will love that even more.
  • Puking and shitting at the same time. Fuck my life. Especially at two in the morning. No more eating three day old pizza.
  • If you are just opening up a restaurant, your labor hours are going to be high. DUH!
  • We need to ok the dude that’s going to be banging Danni. Tell us about your day please.
  • Let’s lay down some rules for whatever it is that we’re doing here. Just come over, and fuck, then go home. Or I guess you can stay the night if you need to.
  • Let’s try and not talk to one another’s chew toy. Starting now… and go!
  • Apparently Indians don’t handle the white man’s diseases very well. In other news, let’s compare dicks. His dick better not be bigger than mine, because if your pussy gets stretched out more than it already is, I’m going to be pissed.
  • Danni is slacking on her man count. I’m winning so far. Not that this is a game or anything.
  • Blowing your arm off for independence day. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?
  • Apparently bees don’t like fireworks either. Up next, on when bees attack!
  • This is what happens when god puts in work. Little kids get run the fuck over by horses. Stop being such a show off god. It’s very unbecoming of you.
  • Apparently BP isn’t just having one major problem. They are seriously trying to destroy the planet. Thanks BP!
  • Another miracle courtesy of god. What a sad world we live in. I bet the veal is good though.
  • The next technological break through in smuggling cocaine. That’s a pretty sweet submarine you got there.
  • Speaking of cocaine, this is the only world cup I would ever think about wanting to watch.
  • Girls gone wild… Literally. If you don’t want to go to college, this might make you change your mind. Why did you piss in the sink by the way? That’s a classy lady.
  • This is why you should take a test in order to give birth. People like this should just be shot. Hey Georgia, stop doing so much meth.
  • Don’t hate on me because I’m finally getting what I want. This is a win win situation for everyone. But especially me! I am the best in the sack, compared to all of you. Stop asking questions you don’t want to know the answer to.
  • Look at my horse, my horse is amazing!
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