Ep 383: Snek


“I just wanna have fun.”

Famous last words in a life that wants a chance to tame the vast herds. You can’t go out dressed like that, they will eat you alive. You can’t go out sad like that, they’ll mistake you for their wife. You can’t go out fast like that, they think you stole something from the light. When the night argues with the day no one wins. When the polite turn into zombies and go for your brains, no one sins. So blink an eye before they think you’ve died in the blink of an eye for my turn to quietly sit and think outside. There’s no denying when the lamp post flickers with one last electrical sigh. We used to love getting high now we encourage our women to get low. We run our mouths backed up by a pistol, then wonder why all our friends are in the hospital trying to figure out life’s last riddle. I give up, with hands on my head but you weren’t listening long enough to understand what I said. In the end nothing really matters anymore, laying on the bloody floor wondering what the after life has in store. Nothing but a rain check, set to wreck my whole day in plain text to try and guess what my phone tries to communicate next. So I just walk away with my grey thoughts of faith and my stomach hungry. Growling, drowning in bile it’s all because I haven’t eaten anything in a while. But nothing sounds like it smells as good as it tastes, I blame the chef who cooks to fill the void that sets his heart’s pace. It’s out of order that chaos brings loud disorder to a crowd filled with tons of reporters, and the reports stumble in from out in the rain, but you still don’t trust them to shout when your raped.

  • Pardon my mistake, someone forgot to turn Shaun’s microphone on. It’s OK, 383 episodes and that’s the first time I’ve fucked up like that. I’m sure you’ll excuse me.
  • The only reason we have our own place is to fuck chicks. Otherwise we’d still be living with our parents.
  • In case you haven’t noticed, we have jack shit to talk about, so we winged it.
  • Shaun has many personalities in his little head. Shaunathan Poindexter is the personality that is completely addicted to Starcraft 2.
  • Shaun is a jack off of all trades. He was even a billing representative for Nextel Phone support. Hey Verizon, thanks for standing behind me, with that creepy look on your face.
  • I got my fucking way, being polite does pay off sometimes. I’d like to give a huge thanks to the Verizon customer support gentleman I talked to that fixed my bill.
  • It’s called the singularity. We are getting more personable, but less personal.
  • If you have to say you are going to kill yourself in order to get someone to do something for you, you are doing it wrong. Maybe this is why you don’t go to the bar to find a wife.
  • I just got out of a bad relationship. Yea, you and everyone else that’s ever BEEN IN a relationship. Stop making excuses.
  • The phrase that pays, “I just wanna have fun.” The phrase of our generation. We all just wanna have fun.
  • Apparently there is a bad chlamydia outbreak in the valley. Warn a brother next time.
  • We all have seven sides to our ego personality. Shaun just happens to name his. Let me introduce you to Snek.
  • Where does this complex enigma of a man go to find a woman to call his baby?
  • We are a very emotional generation. We didn’t wait to finish college and get a good job, we fell in love back in high school and knocked bitches up. That’s why we just wanna have fun now.
  • Let’s draw a parallel between female penguins whoring themselves out for rocks, and human women who whore themselves out for diamonds. It works well I think.
  • I think after this little episode, no one will make fun of France anymore. That was pretty brutal France, I think you’ve made your point. Just kidding France, we’re always going to make fun of you.
  • We have a great movie recommendation for you. It’s called R.S.O. Registered Sex Offender. It was so fucking funny, you have to see it. Email info@thejamhole.com if you think the main character is just like me. Shaun and Danni both think so.
  • A couple tied up and tortured a teenage employee, because a fortune teller said whoever stole her handbag was close to them she loved. Holy shit, I know tons of people that are close to me and I love.
  • Mom, I can’t go to school, because I’m blind. Dude, you had a maggot eating your eyeball. That’s so fucking disgusting.
  • What would you do if you won 1.74 million dollars? Duh, blow it all on drugs and drug related stuff, and those little bottles of liquor. It’s not his fault, he has OCD. Oh, and yea, the gigolo’s were GOOD. Word to that.
  • When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. You beat leukemia only to get run over by a car.
  • Remember, email us info@thejamhole.com or leave us a message at 406.204.4687 or text me at 406.848.1739.
  • Help keep the show going. Donate some cash and help pay for our awesome fast server. I know you love getting Jamhole episodes in under 30 seconds.
  • Also remember, the second annual Jamhole live audience show party camping trip is coming up. We will be camping Thursday September 23rd and Friday the 24th, then the live show is Saturday, September 25th. It’s at Anna’s Italian Grille again, and all the info is on the Jamhole forums event page or the Facebook group event page.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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