Ep 390: Speed

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“If you get in a wreck on that road, you’re an idiot, and I hope you die.”

Today was just one of those days. You know the kind. The sort of day that drags on like it was being taken against it’s will to the chopping block. It’s like all of the retards that live in the Flathead Valley all call each other the night before, and figure out a master plan as to how they can get in my way, seriously piss me off, and fuck up my day. For starters, driving on the highways today was a little reminiscent of watching the Special Olympics. But with less skill and grace. I swear, some of these people HAVE to be giving out bribes to the DMV or something, because I really don’t understand how you can be so oblivious to what’s going on around you and still be able to get your driver’s license. I can’t wait for the day when we have cars that drive themselves. Some people are scared of that, because the systems can malfunction or get hacked. Well, have you been out on highway 93 or highway 2 during lunch time? You know it couldn’t possibly be any worse than that. I would much rather have to dodge an autopilot car who’s control computer has a virus, than some idiot who thinks they are the only person on the road today. At least they would have an excuse. “I knew I shouldn’t have told my car to click on that email attachment while I was commuting to work. Now my whole car is fucked. But hey, it still drives better than I do.” Oh well, much like the Snoop Dogg song, this types of shit happens every day. I was just a little more sensitive to it today. It’s cool, because boy are you all in for a show tonight. I’m excited. Plus, it’s Monday Funday, so that should make it all better. Here’s the notes!

  • I love how excited Danni gets sometimes. Sometimes I just want to slap her in the face.
  • Danni has a job she likes. She can thank me for that later.
  • Tick tock, the time is coming near for the second annual Jamhole live show! Check out thejamhole.com/404 for info! It’s September 25th, and you aren’t going to want to miss this. Shaun is planning a camping trip for us. I’m excited. You can also RSVP on the Facebook group.
  • Help us pay the server bill, shit is expensive. You love the nice download speeds, so show us how much you love it. Donate some cash, and help keep this show fast and free.
  • Another car crash on the same highway. This is just another reason why we need highway zamboni. I’m telling you. Thank you retard drivers for making us have to drive super slow on that highway. I completely blame you.
  • Proof that if you drive around with dogs on your lap like a FUCKING IDIOT, you are putting the rest of us at risk. You might as well be texting while driving.
  • Some shit went down in the nations trailer park. Alabama, hows it going? This kid begged for his life. You said no, and shot him in the head.
  • I hate when people get mad and punch inanimate objects. So mad, I’m going to go punch a wall right now.
  • Caught red handed gold faced because he was huffing paint. You know gold paint is the good shit.
  • Yet another story of children living in filth and squalor. Thank you Georgia.
  • Slapping your daughter to death for crying to much. You want something to cry about? Oh you don’t? Hmm. Well never mind then.
  • A man found near a busy street surrounded by sex toys. It’s not what it looks like.
  • Fucking around at Danni’s new job. Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.
  • Let’s play some voicemails. You can leave a message at 406.204.4687 or text my cell at 406.848.1739.
  • Email info@thejamhole.com, and send us post cards from your locale to thejamhole.com/pobox.