Ep 439: Open Your Eyes

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“Let’s all take a collective second and hope not… For my sake.”

I wrote and recorded two songs yesterday and two songs today. I need a break for a minute. I’m gonna pass the mic over to a friend of ours. Listen up to what this kid has to say. He’s smarter than you are. Without further ado, I would like to present to you, once again guest writing the show notes for Mat because he has something way better to say than I did… Redfox from Sporkroast!

As you may or may not know, I like to call myself a skeptic. It’s hard for one to define what it means to be a skeptic, but I’ll try my best. It’s all about the scientific method. Skeptics love to not only have evidence to support a fact or theory, but that evidence must go through rigorous testing itself to make sure it is good evidence. Consider the Mythbusters. They are skeptics, and do a great job demonstrating what skeptics do and how they think. Skeptics never like to take facts and theories on people’s word alone. They test all sorts of things people believe to be true, and many of them turn out to be false.

Many of my friends agree with my stance on science, however they aren’t self titled skeptics or aren’t active in the skeptical community. I’ve found that, listening to skeptical podcasts and reading science blogs brings people to you. They come to you when they want to know about different alternative medicines, or what’s really happening on this episode of the Ghost Hunters. Lately, though, I’ve been sort of on the defense when it comes to science and reason, which is an odd position for me to be in. I’ve found out several people I know are very rooted in alternative medicines. It really brings you down knowing that you can take a whole bottle of homeopathic sleeping pills, only to be just as awake as when you took them. There have been two major wins for the skeptical community recently, though, that have brought back a feeling of satisfaction that science does in fact work, and it will continue to work in the future.

For the first one, we need a little background. There is an underground community that’s fighting science tooth and nail telling people that vaccines cause autism. They don’t. They never have, and never will. This group, though, is so wrapped up in this belief that, rather than do scientific studies to prove their point, they are releasing ads in theatres promoting this false belief. The skeptical community, with the help of Elise and Rebecca Watson from Skepchick.org and The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe Podcast, has started a campaign to lobby theatres to stop running the ads. This campaign actually worked for AMC. They’ve decided that they don’t want to upset their customers, and stay out of the middle of this stupid autism talk. I hope the other major theatres follow.

The other major victory has to do with Power Balance bracelets. These bracelets, according to the company, emit frequencies that align with the body’s magnetic field to help you perform better in whatever activity you are doing. The Australian version of the FTC has ruled that these bracelets are a scam, and that the company must refund everyone their money because of false advertizing. There’s nothing you can do, besides practice, which will make you better at something. To believe that some magnetic bracelet will help you more than pure effort and practice, is stupid.

In closing, science works. It will always work. It’s not the perfect picture of our world, but it’s the closest we can get to explaining everything. No other method works like science. It makes me sad when doctors spend their whole lives in school, constantly learning new ways to make us healthy, and people say it’s a miracle when someone is cured of something. It’s not a miracle. There are hundreds of years of study backing up what helps us. I’d like to end with a quote from a recent XKCD comic that really puts the nail in the coffin about why science works.

“We’ve groped for comfort before the slings and arrows of fortune for millennia, and I begrudge nobody their sources of solace, but science provides tools. $100 billion a year in scientific studies and medical R&D has bought us some pretty powerful slings and arrows of our own. The world is amazing, and I’m going to live to experience more of it thanks to people who refused to gracefully accept the ineffability of reality. I find my courage where I can , but I take my weapons from science. Because they work, bitches.”

And now, the notes… Thank you Redfox.

  • What the fuck Skype! There were tears in them tweets. This could cause a break up. What if I had a Skype date? Oh man…
  • Merry Xmas, apparently we did NOT do a show on Xmas eve. I don’t even want to hear it. Very rarely do we take days off, so when we do, trust that we really deserve it.
  • Parents now a days are so lucky, you can blame Santa not being real on the government. It’s just another government conspiracy. If you play your cards right, you don’t have be seen as a liar in the eyes of your children.
  • Would you rather have a bunch of cool presents at two years old, or college money when you get older? Help put a little cash in Sam’s college fund. All donations for the month of December are going to our little two year old friend Sam. He needs a hand.
  • Danni seems way out of it. Can you please try and keep your eyes open for the duration of the show. I understand, sometimes it feels better to just close your eyes.
  • Danni got a pretty cool present for xmas. I did give her a hard time when I got it though. Note to self, next time, leave your girlfriend at home or in the car.
  • Hey HP, why did you totally lie to everyone? That netbook that has “stereo speakers” has one real speaker and one fake speaker. That is shady HP. You lied to everyone.
  • Hey, what are you running over there? Is that the Boston marathon? Let’s take our netbooks and go run this Boston.
  • I was mean, I apologize.
  • I have a surprise for you! Best wedding ever! Double murder suicide in front of EVERYONE! I am so fucking curious as to what the bride did to set him off like that. He kind of planned it out. She must have been a huge bitch.
  • The only way podcasts should be allowed to end. You call me a jerk off, I shoot you, then the cat, then myself. Fuck, there is a lot of shit to worry about when ending ones life. Especially if you do a podcast.
  • I’m gonna shovel this walk, then I’m gonna shovel this one. That crazy shovel lady sure does get around.
  • When it’s winter time and the sun goes into hiding for a while, people start to get a little crazy. If you don’t shovel your half of the walk, I’m going to kill you with this snow shovel. Excellent.
  • Hey Danni, are you ready for your super special Jamhole xmas present? I got you a sad kittens story! Best boyfriend ever! Why the fuck would anyone super glue a kitten’s mouth shut? I Fucking people…
  • Speaking of hating people. Let’s talk about the crossbow cannibal. He wasn’t a fan of people either. This is a pretty epic story, and we only read a fraction of it on the show. Check it out if you’re interested.
  • Hey kids, who’s ready to go see Santa’s Reindeer? Hey mommy, why is that reindeer all dead looking? These are pretty crazy pictures. Survival of the fittest right?
  • The suspect cut off the victims penis and then shoved it down his throat. Done and done. Merry Fucking Xmas! Could you imagine getting your pecker cut off and then promptly shoved down your throat? Fucking epic. Hey, eat YOUR dick.
  • Can we please build a nuke and put it in the purple dildo? Then we could FUCK all of humanity.
  • The choking game claims another life. Another sad, uneducated, poorly parented life. Think of the kids! This has got to stop. Pot hasn’t killed anyone, the choking game is claiming life after life. What’s it going to take?
  • Email info@thejamhole.com and leave us a message at 406.204.4687. Make sure you are subscribed with Itunes, and give us a nice rating / review. This really helps. Join the Facebook group and follow on Twitter. Tell all your friends!
  • Stay tuned after this episode for a special Christmas song by your friends over at Ear Candy NY. This fresh new just in time for the holidays jam is called Shawty It’s Christmas! Holla!!!