Ep 455: Shocking Douche


“This douche owes you a blow job.”

We apologize for missing a show. It’s very rare when it happens, but sometimes it happens. Just know that when we do miss a show, it hurts us just as much as it hurts you, perhaps even more. We pour a lot of ourselves, motivation, money, blood, sweat and tears into this podcast, and I really believe it shows in the episodic content we produce. You can easily tell which shows are in it because for some strange reason, they think it will make them rich and able to quit their day jobs, from the people who podcast because they really love the art. So for those of you wondering why we missed a show, I’m going to lay it out for you briefly. We pride ourselves in being honest when we turn the microphones and cameras on, so if you really want to know what’s up, here it is. Basically, if you’ve been listening to this show for any amount of time, especially in the earlier episodes, you’ll know that we like to get high. So much in fact, that I’ve been to rehab twice because of it. Getting high is fine in moderation, just like everything else in life, but when it starts to take over that life, Houston has a problem. So, for the most part, I’ve managed to keep my shit together, but like I said, I still like to get high every now and then. So basically when “every now and then” turns into “every day” we have to take a step back, have a little intervention, and get back on the right path. That’s what happened last night. Danni was concerned she noticed I was getting out of control, so she stepped in and corrected it.

Guys, if you don’t have a girl who can step in and check yourself before you wreck yourself, that girl you’re with, doesn’t really love you. I don’t know where I would be without Danni, and more importantly my mom, for helping me get my shit together in the first place. So yea, everything is all good now, there is no need for concern. Thank you for all the messages about why we missed a show. It’s kind of nice to see how much of an effect we have in your lives, even if you don’t like taking the time to email info@thejamhole.com with a quick thanks, or donate some cash, or join the forums, or write a quick review in Itunes, or even tell a friend about the show. Some of you do, and for that we thank you. I would really love to see more of you doing it. We really do appreciate it. Remember, we do this show for you as much as we do it for us. So the more of you that reach out and interact by sharing stories, or sending us post cards, the happier we are to do what we’re doing. Thanks, and we’ll see you Friday.

  • Let’s welcome for her very first time on the microphone, Danni’s sexy ass girlfriend, Sam. Danni is making great strides in trying to hang out with girls. I smell a breakthrough.
  • Of course, now it’s time to dissect the beautiful complexity that is Sam’s life. See girls, if you are trying to be a lesbian, you can’t be creepy about it. That’s the guy’s job. You completely ruined what could have been one of the hottest lesbian shower sex scenes to ever play through my mind. I will never forgive you for this.
  • You can tell the people who are in the podcast game because they think they can get rich from it, from the people who are in the game because we care about producing a great show strictly for the smiles… And for something fun to do. Mission accomplished.
  • We completely failed our January goal of $250. Perhaps that’s my bad for over estimating the generosity of our listener base. So, let’s see if you guys can at least pay the server bill. This thing costs $179.99 each and every month. Because we love doing this, I pay for this shit every month out of my own pocket. I would love it if the show could at the very least pay for the server that we need to get you the episodes SO FAST. Anyways, I hate begging, so do it or don’t. Thank you!
  • We did episode 55 of the Hot Box live from the Compassion Centers of Montana at 4865 HIGHway 2 West, Columbia Falls Montana. Go get yourself the best medical cannabis you will ever smoke. Huge props to Mrs. Greenthumb for baking us the dankest brownies ever to cross the threshold that is my maw. Oh man, they were so fucking good.
  • Huge shout out to my beat maker Ev-G. The last 3 beats he sent me are so fucking awesome. I can’t wait for you guys to hear this new album. If you want to help me get this thing made, I would super appreciate it. Donate 10 bucks and that will guarantee you a copy of the album before anyone else gets it. If you want to hear the Rap Music Project to check out my rhymes and some Ev-g beats, go to the Jamhole Music page.
  • Ok, who’s ready for the meat of this mother fucker. So, basically I had a pretty terrible experience with one of the people that asked me to film Shilo Golie’s cd release party. If you like Atmosphere, you’ll dig this kid. Go get yourself a copy of “Not a Worry in the World.”
  • I’m sorry, but unless you are a hot chick named Danni, you can’t pay me to film your friend’s release party with a blow job. Also, please stop trying to fuck me. When you fuck me, you fuck yourself.
  • You should take more care to be nice to people. Especially when those people have internet talk shows. You asked me not to put your name on my podcast, and I didn’t. No one knows who the fuck you are, only that you are a HUGE DOUCHE BAG.
  • Listen to this awesome voicemail “he” left me. Wow dude. Wow. I really hope you change your arrogant tune when your in Seattle. Let’s just say I won’t be surprised if no one ever hears from you again.
  • For the record, we have the most unbiased listeners in the world. They will call me out on shit if I am being a piece of shit. Clearly in this case it was YOU who was being the piece of shit.
  • Information will always find a way. I can’t believe Muburak actually thought that killing Egypt’s internet was a good idea. You’ve been running a country for how long? What a piece of shit. You can’t stop the signal. Plus, if your whole country is revolting, maybe it’s time for a regime change. Just saying…
  • Redfox from Sporkroast calls in to discuss the Google Twitter voice translate program. Pretty cool shit.
  • If you are on a methadone program, you aren’t allowed to have a baby. Not until you are completely clean. Bringing another drug addicted person into this world is the last thing we need. I mean fuck, we’re way overpopulated. Pull your head out of your ass and stop having so many fucking kids. Especially if you live in a shed. You stupid fucking idiot.
  • Oh, and hey rappers, nobody wants to listen to you rap about what we have in our pockets. Please stop doing that.
  • Thanks for listening, and be sure to stay tuned at the end of the podcast to hear a legally recorded phone call between me and the Shocking Douche. Like I said, you should really take more care in who you feel like fucking with and trying to rip off. You never know who you might be pissing off.
  • Email info@thejamhole.com and leave us a message at 406.204.4687. Help us pay the server bill for the month of February at the Jamhole Donate page.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
This entry was posted in podcast and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.