Ep 460: National Abortion Federation

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“I’m walking funny, and not because the finger in the ass.”

It’s been 3 years since we started the Jamhole podcast. Come join us for the Friday episode live and be a part of Jamhole history. I would like to know who has been listening the longest, so email info@thejamhole.com or call 406.204.4687 and leave us a message.

  • Did you hear me? But are you really listening? The number to call in live is 406.204.4687. Join us live on Jamhole TV every Monday Wednesday and Friday 7pm PT. 10pm ET. If you enjoy the show, help us fund it. We pay for this out of our own pocket.
  • Huge shout out to the tiny florescent shrimp at the bottom of the ocean, with their little tiny Ipods and headphones.
  • Hey, I know I owe you that money, I’m just waiting on my taxes. Most popular phrase starting February and going till the middle of April. No seriously, I’m just waiting on my taxes.
  • Starting now, we are going to make a list on the donate page of everyone who donates over at least over $10. If you do this, you will be considered a financial contributer to the show. This will be a competition year to year, and the person who has the most contributions at the end of the year get a super awesome Jamhole care package. We’ll release the details soon, so get that money sent in!
  • Episode 461 is the Jamhole three year anniversary. Leave us a message, I’m curious up to this point, who has been listening the longest. 406.204.4687 or email info@thejamhole.com. February 18th is also our personal two year anniversary of being together.
  • Apparently I am a bit behind in the news, Watson spanked those nice humans. Welcome to our new computerized leader. Should we call you Skynet or do you like Watson? Whatever you want, you’re in charge now.
  • Be careful when you are trying to jump start a fork lift. Especially if something catches on fire, and the fork lift is propane powered.
  • When parking on snow or ice on a hill, make sure your truck doesn’t slide backwards down the hill. I can’t believe that shit. I’m really surprised I didn’t shit my pants. This is how amazing my day was.
  • Let’s talk about the Get Poetry open mic poetry slam. This one was a special Valentines themed slam. I’ll start getting the videos rendered and uploaded. I won for best love poem, which is kind of weird. Thanks everyone! Check out thejamhole.com/poetryvids if you wanna see the last 3 poetry slams.
  • What do you know about Adderall? I know if you do too much you’ll get a wicked bad headache. I also know that if you plan on having sex, you should really stretch it out first. Fucking for a little over three hours makes you feel really super sore the next day. You’ve been warned.
  • Big momma Danni doesn’t fuck around with no little dicks. If you want this pussy, you better have a nice hard cock for mommy. Hey, where did all my inhibitions go? Oh fuck…
  • Thanks for bringing some Anna’s. My favorite pizza / cheese steak in the valley. If you are local, check out annasnewyork.com. I made that shit! Hey, if you are getting pulled over and you don’t have your seatbelt on, take a sec and put it on as you are pulling over. That’s the secret to never getting a seatbelt ticket.
  • Are you leaving now? Oh ok good, because I’m about to start crying. I have no idea why.
  • I had one invite for ILT, but it’s gone now. Check back next month.
  • I need some new porn, I’m sick of these tired ass bitches. Long story short, I went from awesome sex, to crying and depressed, to a four cycle jerk off session. Yea, I’m that much of a bad ass.
  • Over all, it was a great time. I wish I would have gotten to sleep earlier. I could have also done without the headache. But over all, it was fun and quite the interesting experience, and another check off the list of drugs I need to try before I die.
  • Let’s talk about Intervention. Jenna the heroin addict had a shitty childhood. Therefore she is a heroin addict.
  • Now let’s talk about My Strange Addiction. You are eating glass and bullets because you crave attention in a weird way. Move to New York and call it visual performance art. You are a hipster goth emo punk visual performance artist. Did I mention a huge homo? You should fit in quite nicely in New York. We also hear from a black female who is addicted to bleaching her skin, because she is a huge racist. We should really try and get on one of these shows. You know, for fun. I’m addicted to water softener salt. Does that count?
  • Well Detroit, it looks like you got lucky. Robocop is coming to save your broke ass “city” after all. I’m all about Robocop, but $50,000? Really? I’ll build you one for half that if I can keep the other half. I do love how the internet made that happen. I want a huge Domo statue next. Now listen as I try to explain Cain from Robocop 2.
  • Hey South Dakota, this is why no one takes you seriously. You try and pull some old bullshit like this. We are OVERPOPULATED! We NEED women to have the choice at the very least. I don’t believe you understand the gravity of how FUCKED we are.
  • Hey National Abortion Federation, the Jamhole appreciates the work you do.
  • Here is a study that asks the question, does semen have antidepressant properties? I’m going to say yes. All of your wives and daughters who are on Prozac right now, need to be taken off Prozac, and put on semen. It’s all natural and organic!
  • Remember, the Friday show is episode 461, and our THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the Jamhole. Come join us live on Jamhole TV at thejamhole.com/live. Follow the Twitter, join the Facebook group and make sure you are a member of the Jamhole Forums.