Ep 497: Brutal Contradiction

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“How does killing yourself get you on a spaceship?”

What an interesting last couple of shows. I hope you enjoyed our coverage of the ridiculousness that was the rapture. Harold Camping took a stupid idea that I’m not even sure he himself believes in, and he got that idea pumped into most every house with cable television or an internet connection. This is quite the feat, especially for an 89 year old. He played on everyone’s worst fears, and turned it into a global mock-fest. I can’t wait for October! We are going to mock you so fucking hard. So hard. Then I’m going to bust the biggest, stankest faith load all over your face.

  • Welcome to the episode of the Jamhole that should never have been. Except that religion is a fairy-tale minus the ending, and if you believed that you were actually going to be raptured, you are a bigger idiot than we thought. You know it’s bad when other religious people are making fun of your religious predictions. That speaks volumes to the silliness of the belief system you live your life according to.
  • Check out the best post rapture video I’ve seen so far! This rapture video is brought to you by the great minds over at The Thinking Atheist. You can also see the rapture story thread over at the Jamhole forums.
  • Who the fuck is responsible for this stupid prediction going viral? Is it because everyone was making fun of it? Is it because everyone hates their life and secretly wishes the world actually would end? You got your bluff called.
  • So apparently Harold Camping once again got his “math” wrong. So we now have a new date for the rapture. It’s going to be a day before my 31st birthday. October 21st 2011 is his new rapture prediction date. Keep on moving those goal posts you old sad fuck.
  • It’s called faith. Duh. I just busted my hot sticky faith load all over your FACE!
  • So what happens to a doomsday cult when the world doesn’t end? Well, if you are a good proper cult, you should have all killed yourselves. The rest just get left in the dust. Back into the ether from whence it came. Hey, better luck next time.
  • Every time I’m wrong… I’m just more right. So suck on that dick. Any more right I’d be left.
  • The Hot Box is on hiatus until further notice. If you listen to the Hot Box, how would you feel about Danni hosting an episode here and there with me, just so we can get a couple new episodes out. Email info@thejamhole.com and let me know your thoughts.
  • Speaking of the Hot Box, there have been some more Montana raids. This latest one happened in Helena. Not nice feds, not nice at all.
  • Ok, so this guy said he stabbed a woman because he was high on marijuana. Oh yea, and he was also rambling on about the end of the world… Oh yea, and he was African American… and the pot was laced with PCP. Weird that the headline only mentioned the marijuana. PCP will fuck your shit up.
  • Let’s celebrate the world not ending, by jumping off the bridge. Two went in, only one came up. Not counting chickens before they are hatched comes to mind. Darwin award anyone? I could jump in and save you, or I could stay dry and pray. Yeah, I’m going to pray.
  • Yea, I’ve had sex with over 1,000 cars, no big deal. Want to make something of it? Where do you find these people? Can you imagine being his parents? Holy fucking shit you must be so proud. Takes all types I suppose. It’s an expression of love. Have you ever watched Knight Rider and got a hard on? I have…
  • Oh my bad, I thought you said you WANTED the pictures of your dead baby. You didn’t? Well, that’s awkward. We went through all that trouble to pose your dead baby, and make sure your dead baby didn’t look dead, and this is how you repay us? With a lawsuit? Some people…
  • Have you ever heard of Osh Kosh? I’m kind of thinking about doing this, just for a year. Could you imagine?
  • Get your own Jamhole Voodoo Doll kit! The first person to donate $100 gets a little baggy with some of my fingernail clippings. The possibilities are endless. You could clone your very own Mat!
  • Email info@thejamhole.com or leave a message for the show at 406.204.4687. You can also text me personally at 406.848.1739.
  • Monday is episode 500. Can we get 500 likes on the Jamhole Facebook page? Probably not, but it’s worth a try. Share and share a like! Join us for live shows every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. 10pm ET. on Jamhole TV!
  • Also make sure to join the Jamhole forums and participate in our community! FAITH LOADS!