Ep 503: Long Drawn Out Horror

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“Nobody listens to this shit, because no one cares.”

So much awesome in the world today happening on a quantum like nano second to nano second basis, we almost are to the point where we need all these different signals of information just to keep a somewhat up to date rendering of reality. I mean, can you imagine going through life basing everything you interacted with on a manual that came out two hundred years prior? Well, some of you in public schools kind of know what I’m talking about. It’s fun seeing your parents name in your text book isn’t it? Well it sure the fuck shouldn’t be. We should be so ashamed of that, that we don’t leave the house for a month because we’re too busy crying in the shower trying to “wash it all away.” I should rename the show to, That’s How it Goes. We could call it THIG. Great name for a podcast don’t you think? Alright, enough of this silliness, now, on to the show notes.

  • Doesn’t it just blow your fucking mind that we now have over 500 episodes? Yea, I’m over it too. Anyways, you can watch this pile live every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. 10pm ET. on Jamhole TV. Call us live and be part of the show at 406.204.4687. Remember, if you dip out, tell someone about the show. Trust me, you DO NOT want to live with that kind of guilt.
  • You can talk to us whenever you want by firing off an email to info@thejamhole.com. It was brought to our attention that a long time ago, for some weird reason, I was curious if we had any Jamholians into BDSM. Honestly, I have a feeling I know what the context was. We’ll just leave it at that. Thanks Bad Mannerz! Speaking of Bad Mannerz, check out the Most Helpful Jamholians of 2011 on the Jamhole Donate page. You have about six more months to beat this guy. Don’t let him win the most awesome prize ever conceived. Yes, even more awesome than Jesus Christ.
  • So anyways, if you’ve never tried it, we both highly recommend choking the shit out of your bitch the next time you have some coitus. Then put it in her butt.
  • I’m curious if any Jamholians have asked for a Google Music invite, and then actually got it. Well, if you did, and you are having problems uploading more than 5,000 songs, listen up. I wrote into the help about it and got a reply. Yea we know, thanks, STFU. Haha, some rich human should start a company and totally treat their customers like that. Just for fun. It would be interesting to see what a persons limit is when treated like complete shit by a company. Especially if they aren’t getting fucked in the ass with a two year contract. Anyways, once you manage to get your music on Google Music Beta, it’s pretty fucking awesome. I listen to way more of my music now.
  • Oh, and if you were wondering, I think I was wrong. YouTube actually gets 48 hours of video uploaded EVERY MINUTE. I want some of that server space. Hey Google, host The Jamhole.
  • I’d like to give some huge mad props to Justin.tv. Remember when we were on those other live video streaming services? Remember when we couldn’t make it through a week of shows without having some sort of bullshit lag or disconnect problem. Justin.tv has kept our live show running smoothly for quite some time now. Thanks for taking the time to give a fuck about the free service you offer to denizens of the internet. If you are sick of being just another Justinfan in the chat, go to Justin.tv and register a free account.
  • Hey good Jamholians of Arizona, thanks for taking an hour out of your day to come hang out with us, even though part of your state is on fire. Not the desert part, the other part.
  • See RIAA, when you constantly sue poor people with ridiculous frivolous lawsuits just because they may or may not have downloaded a stupid fucking song, and because of your overbearing greed, one of your country stars in the state that stupid law is going to take effect in, got his big rich country house burned down.
  • We watched John Carpenter’s The Ward the other night. How can it not be good? This is the man who brought us In the Mouth of Madness. Love that shit. Here are, according to the person who wrote the post, the Five Best Horror Films Set in Mental Institutions.
  • Someone in the old folks home is selling some Xmen comic books. Danni spoil alerts the fuck out of the new Xmen First Class movie.
  • This isn’t an ad, but I’m just saying, if you need a good server to host your website, blog, or podcast, check out our support page. We get cash if you get service. That’s all. Not an ad, just some helpful advice.
  • Put your lack of money where your mouth is. I bet the good people of Jamholia would send you cash if you painted, “Need money” all over those rocking tits of yours.
  • PLUS 1 US! It’s on the menu navigation directly under QUICKIES. This only applies if you have a Google account. If not, then it doesn’t really matter does it?
  • Remember this old bit? Yea FML! I guess it’s not really a bit to read stuff other people write then make fun of it. But that’s the caliber of awesome you have come to expect from The Jamhole.
  • Yea, I want to see you all make your very own suicide in the tub prank. Shit, it doesn’t even have to be in the tub, but it does have to be suicide. MAKE IT SO!
  • Danni takes us all through her very painful, very very painful, day in the kitchen. Right about here is also where the train-wreck happens. I like how she then continues her story, but in a slightly more loud, more angry tone of voice. Clearly we all see that it takes a little tiny bit more than tits and a vagina to be a girl. It isn’t much, but it’s something.
  • Hahaha, she actually slapped herself in the face when she screamed. She hates me alot lately.
  • Note to self, reverse psychology doesn’t always work. Listen as Danni turns into an annoying bird. I like this game. And apparently it’s the pot that makes me stupid. I beg to differ.
  • No one listens to this shit, so it’s ok. That’s why it’s called Fat Girls. Hahaha, oh man. That’s why you have to bring her to the brink. She gets so much more funny after the explosion.
  • Speaking of wanting to kill my fucking self, did you know that there was 35 cases of chemical suicide in the United States. This woman is just one of them. Oh, and by the way, you can apparently get these awesome chemicals on the internet. Internet, is there nothing you cannot do? Feel. Can you feel?
  • Have you ever heard of the Mona Lisa? Well, they may have found the body of the woman they think is the Lisa. Danni thinks it’s a self portrait of Da Vinci as a female. What do you think? Could this really be her skeleton?
  • And now The Jamhole proudly presents…. Tweets from a Weiner. Has that one been used yet? Yes the picture was of Anthony Weiner, and he was absolutely the one who sent said picture… Of a wiener. And this guy makes important decisions that affect our lives. So do any of you watch Little Britain? If you do, that joke made sense. Hopefully…
  • Here’s the picture of Dan the Man’s burn. If you look at the full size version, you still can’t really see it oozing. Sorry to disappoint you all.
  • That’s gonna do it for this steamy pile of an episode! Thanks for joining us and we’ll drop another load on Wednesday. Don’t just hear us, listen.
  • Share and share A LIKE. You know, The Jamhole on Facebook needs a thumbs up from you and as many of your friends as you are not afraid to tell about it. Link that fuck! We also have all the popular social buttons at the bottom of each individual post. It’s up to you to spread the word.
  • Email info@thejamhole.com and leave us a message at 406.204.4687 or text me at 406.848.1739.
  • I also have my own personal tech blog / Twitter. That way we don’t lag up The Jamhole stuff with tech stuff that not all of you might be interested in. Granted, not all of you are going to be interested in every single story or topic we talk about. But we try to keep it varied and interesting. So yea, I got another gig, which is why it’s bytemat. Keep an eye out for the new BYTE coming back in July!