Ep 510: Sting of the Dicks

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“You should be paying me for getting your fucking shitty music out to more people.”

How is everyone doing? I hope you are not in jail because the feds want to turn anyone who smokes pot or sells pot into criminals. I also hope you all have a great time blowing stuff up and getting wasted to celebrate our independence.  I look forward to reading all the news stories about people losing limbs after the 4th. We’ll be doing a show on Monday the 4th, so if you aren’t too busy blowing yourself up, come join us. It’s going to be a very explosive episode. I have a ton of writing to do, so I’m not going to say much more, other than enjoy the episode, please be subscribed in Itunes and write us a review. It only takes a second, and the more great reviews we get, the more visible our podcast will be in the Itunes directory. Also it’s very important that you like the Jamhole page on Facebook, then take a moment to invite all of your friends. This helps us spread the word of the show to as many people as possible. Thanks, and happy listening / reading.

  • Join us every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7pm PT. 10pm ET. on Jamhole TV. But if you really want to know exactly when we go live to start a podcast episode, follow the Jamhole on Twitter, Danni on Twitter, the Jamhole Facebook page, Danni’s Facebook, or my Facebook.
  • I hope you all had a great time completely not giving a fuck. That’s pretty much how most days around here go anyways, so it didn’t take much to not give a fuck.
  • If you want to live tweet at us during the shows, you can simply send a tweet with #thejamhole attached to it. We’ll see that, and probably read it on the show.
  • You are sticking poo in your mouth, every time you brush your teeth, or go out to eat. We live in a shit filled world. Shit is everywhere! It’s a good thing today was don’t give a fuck day, otherwise I might be a little freaked out about that.
  • Let’s start the top of the show off with some disappointing government bills that could really affect how we live. Not nice. Remember we the people? You know, the people YOU work for? Yea, clearly they do not. It’s hard to choose between two piles of shit. If you are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, you should Demand Progress!
  • Here is great blog post from Montanafesto about the feds saying even if you are operating under state law for medical marijuana, they will still come after you. Not nice at all. We talk more about this on episode 79 of the Hot Box.
  • Let’s do a little review on some ridiculous legislation our corrupt draconian rulers are trying to pass. The first is the Protect IP act, also known as the Internet Blacklist Bill. This is no good, and cannot be allowed to pass.
  • In Columbus Ohio, republican governor John Kasich signs a law allowing people to pack the heat when they go to bars. I don’t know about you, but I DO NOT trust drunks to have guns, especially when they are in bars. This is going to do wonders for our overpopulation problem, sure, but when I’m up there rapping or entertaining the drunks at a bar, the last thing I want to worry about is someone popping a cap in my ass. I’m amazed at the legislation we pay these PUBLIC SERVANTS of ours to come up with. Not one piece of helpful legislation has come out of them in the last four years. It’s all crap that makes more money for them, and makes our lives that much more of a hell to live. Thanks asshole government!
  • The last piece of ridiculous legislation that is absolutely NOT for the people, comes from Amy Klobuchar, a democrat from Minnesota. It’s called the Ten Strikes Bill, and it basically makes it a felony to go out with your friends and sing karaoke, because it specifies “public performance” as an infringement. It also makes it a felony to embed YouTube videos, which is kind of how videos get spread around and are able to go viral. Big content needs a wake up call. Here’s an idea, do something that actually helps the people. All you are doing is making laws that pad your pockets, and fuck the rest of us. The world is dicks. Thoughts? Call and leave a voicemail for the Monday show at 406.204.4687 or skype thejamhole.
  • Can someone please tell me what the mother fuck this scorpion is doing on this motherfucking plane? It’s ok, it’s just a little guy. If you want to learn more about scorpions, check out the Wiki.
  • Who remembers Chris Hansen? Well, he’s been caught cheating. My rule is, if you cheat, make sure you are upgrading. This doesn’t look like an upgrade to me. Honestly, it doesn’t even look like a woman. This is what happens when you think with your DICK!
  • Let’s shift gears and discuss some drone attacks in third world shit holes. Drones are bad ass. You can even make your own over at DIY Drones! I want one for our studio so bad. Check out the episode 16 of Triangulation, where Leo Laporte and Tom Merritt interview Chris Anderson, the man behind DIY Drones. Great discussion.
  • Now for something completely different. Did you know toddlers also make great close quarter combat weapons? Fuck yes they do, just ask the lady who was packing a plus five baby sword on a streetcar in Toronto.
  • Staying on the topic of weird baby deaths, this woman from south suburban Chicago is accused of killing her three month old baby, then carrying it around like it was alive, just to fool the baby daddy. What the fuck is wrong with people. Sometimes, the baby just doesn’t stop crying! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Pardon my screaming, but that’s the only thing that works. Screaming baby + drunk on vodka = dead baby. If she would have smoked a bowl, this most likely would not have happened. Just kidding, not even cannabis can make you a great parent, the baby would have died anyways.
  • I am really digging Google +. They did a great job, and I can’t wait to start using it more. You will now refer to me as Mat+ from now on. In other news, Justin Timberlake is now the proud new owner of Myspace. He should do the right thing, and put it out of it’s misery. For our sake. Each user is worth a dollar, and not a strong 1996 dollar. I’m talking a super weak 2011 dollar.
  • Apparently training vultures to do your bidding is a lot harder than it looks in the movies. This German guy was trying to train vultures to find the corpses of missing people, but the vulture named Sherlock, does not give a fuck about finding people. He’d rather walk around and eat dead animals. If that isn’t a metaphor for humanity right now, I don’t know what is. They also apparently projectile vomit. Want to learn more about vultures? Check out the Wiki.
  • Maybe getting completely wasted before you take an eleven hour flight is not the best idea in the world. This dude totally pissed all over this other guy. Man that would have been a sight to see. Hey honey, why do you smell like piss. Well, funny story… That’s just how they roll in New Zealand.
  • Hey, why is that woman still in the pool? Oh right, because she’s been dead for two days. Found floating in a pool of state run vulture DICKS! Thanks NoliesUndead. I love our live show fans. It’s their funny, witty, snarky comments that keep me going day to day.
  • Now for the plugs – We’ll be doing a 24 hour Jamhole marathon show to help raise money for our trip to Milwaukee. Join us Friday and Saturday, July 15th and 16th for 24 hours of Jamhole awesomeness! It’s going to be a blast, so check out the Jamhole Facebook page event section for more information, or the Jamhole forums. Participation is key, so come hang out and have a time with us. If you want to send some cash our way, check out the Jamhole donate page.
  • Saturday, July 23rd we will be in Milwaukee Wisconsin for the multi-podcast live show party! If you live too far away to make it to Montana for our third annual live show, this is your chance to see us in action.
  • Saturday, August 13th and the week starting the 8th is our third annual live show right here in beautiful Kalispell Montana. We have some whitewater rafting planned, some electricity free rustic camping planned, and of course all the great fun times you’ve come to expect from us. RSVP on the Facebook event page, and hop in the forums to discuss.
  • If you ever have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to email info@thejamhole.com, or leave a voicemail at 406.204.4687. You can also text my cell phone at 406.848.1739. We got you covered.