Ep 527: Carl Sagan Loved the Reefer

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“I will pay somebody a stack, to kill my baby’s father. “

So it goes a little something like this. I see a lot of similarity in the patent wars you may have read about in your favorite tech blog or podcast, and the medical cannabis wars that are going down right here in our very own Montana. Well my very own Montana, I have no idea where you are from. I mean I do, but I don’t. See where I’m coming from? If you are unaware, there is currently a massive web of interconnected fucked-up-ness created by a system that was taken advantage of from the start. This system is called the patent system. The other system, is called the war on drugs. First of all, you do realize that when all these companies sue the shit out of each other like the chart shows, the only people who really win are the fine collectors, and the lawyers? You do realize that it costs a lot of money to hire yourself a lawyer to go on a patent infringing killing spree right? That’s not to mention how much time it can take if you get lost in the vast reaches of some lawyers cherry oak desk under a stack of papers reaching to the moon. Just waiting for a signature, I swear it’s in the mail.

Anyways, this is doing two things that piss me off. First, it’s making normal tech writers have to write about stupid boring shit like patent law, which in my opinion needs to be completely reformed, and I hope these big tech companies are the ones to do it. That is of course, if they can stop suing each other long enough to let their legal team have a nice vacation so they can spend some of that ridiculous money they just made. Second, it’s just furthering the ideology that if you go to school and learn how to lie and bend the law to your will, you will make the most money. Just like a doctor, everyone will need your services at some point in their lifetime. This is the part where I tell you not to ever get married.

Here is the part where I bring this whole cluster fuck of a piece around to relate to medical cannabis here in Montana. As a quick catch up, you can go listen to the Hot Box podcast, but basically Montana has had medical marijuana since 2004, voted in by we the people. Now the state government is trying to say that isn’t what any of the over 60% of the people who passed the law, actually voted for. They tried to repeal completely, but the governor veto’d that. They tried to wrap their repeal in the nice pretty dress of strict reform, but the people tried to put a stop to how out of control and insane the new law would have made things. This created a need for the people and the medical cannabis industry to need the services of a lawyer. This lawyer was obtained and the matter was taken to court. Some of the reform was found to be unconstitutional, and it was thrown out, but some of the silly reform was said to be ok, and it was left in. Now we continue to need the lawyers services to file a petition to put a new medical cannabis law to a vote of the people, again. The point is, the hundreds of thousands of dollars that the medical cannabis industry has raised to pay for the lawyer, to fight the state and it’s stupid choices, to fight this ridiculous war on drugs, could have gone to SO MANY OTHER, BETTER causes. Like you know, education! If the kids are educated poorly, every generation is going to have to put up with stupid law makers making stupid decisions because they think they know best. Well, they don’t, and this is proof.

Do you see the parallel? How much money has been wasted in the patent wars? How much money could have been better spent on important things, like education. The one thing that is hurting the most, is the most important system we have. If we don’t educate the younger generation, we are going to be stuck with a generation of retards who are piloting this starship right into a fucking asteroid. A sad, credit downgrading, asteroid… Sound familiar? Anyways, here’s some fucking show notes!

– Mat and Danni back in the saddle again. It’s been a while, and we might start just doing shows once or twice a week. If you get them more, then be happy. Don’t worry, sometimes I just need to fall asleep on the couch sometimes. My girlfriend is probably poisoning me. Killing me softly.

– Digging ditches, who’s qualified. So what exactly are your qualifications? I can podcast, cook, and dig ditches. I’m still looking for a job. Please tell us about this.

– What is it about Danni that makes every place she has ever worked at completely hate her, or fuck her over? Curious and curiouser…

– When you gots kids, you gots to do whatever you can to take care of dem kids. Oh, and please, have you found your glasses yet? By the way…

– Honestly, we haven’t done shit but watch the motherfucking X files. Yea, geek confession? I’ve never seen the X files. I’ve seen the movie, but that’s it. So we’re up to season 3. Thoughts? Oh, and it first aired in 1993. My bad.

– Spoiler alert, Danni just plows right through the main speaking points of the movie, The Tenant. And also Battleground… Who wants an ILT invite? I got’s a couple. Speaking of invites, I also have a few Google Music invites, and 150 Google Plus invites. If you need either / or, let me know.

– In WOW it’s called a guild. In MOH, it’s called a clan. Also popular in the deep south. You know, the Klan? Who has more PTSD? Probably her, because I smoke a LOT OF POT to keep my levels down.

– I need you all to keep this between us. It is a very terrible story. A story of a ballerina who almost was. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

– Have you ever been propositioned for sex? By your neighbor? I know someone who has! Take a guess… Ok, so run me down how that all happens. Note how quiet she starts talking. So seriously, how much for you?

– This is the formula for True Blood. If there is a lot of hetero or hot lesbian vampire sex in the first half of the season, then the second half will be LOADED with gay sex for the second half of the season.

– From the makers of heroin, try NEW ASPIRIN! Let’s talk about things you aren’t supposed to know about. I have 52 of them. Did you know…

– Nevermind. You know, the album cover with the baby penis. Danni is curious. Who is that baby? Like, where is he now? Does anyone have the answer to this enquiring minds want to know type question? Hey Facebook, why do you keep taking down the nevermind cover?

– When you gots to get yo stacks for killin a nigga… What type of stack did you get? A grand? Where’s my stack? Listen here bitch…

– Out of all the things scientists should be researching, maybe this should be the opposite. God says no and man says yes, then your baby looks like a waffle. Restoring fertility to once sterile mice. Nice! So are you ready to have babies yet?

– Who’s ready for a Monday Funday explosion? Darwin award of the week right here. Fighting for their lives. They are some bad asses on the other side of the world. He actually lost his legs. Such is the price for stupidity. Blown completely off.

– Do you hear that? Someone is coming up the stairs. This is why you need to watch the live shows.

– Have you ever been to a job fair… in Hotlanta?

– Can I talk about my strange addiction? Why is it the large black females are into eating the weird shit? Very curious. Danni does an impression. Is that what they really sound like?

– Let’s discuss the state of Danni’s body, and why she will never birth a child. Ever. I’m gonna knock her up just for fun. Would you rather… Life insurance, CHECK. Double paychecks!

Please send food. Just kidding, but you can send money if you are so inclined. You can also send a post card from your locale. I ate fake mash potatoes and noodles last night because we have no food in the house. Let me tell you how to survive a robot uprising. First you need to get a web host. Get it through us and support the show a little.

– Join the forums, email info@thejamhole.com and leave a message at 406.204.4687. You can also text me at 406.848.1739. Send help!

  • mat

    Shoulda coulda woulda been a lawyer…