Ep 545: Butte Fockers

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“Sir he has no hands, he’s just a dick.”

Another show, another episode, just like all the rest. Maybe this one will be funny. Better not press your luck.

– My name is Mat, and this is Danni, and this is episode 545 of the Jamhole. Welcome. We do these shows every Sunday and a random day of the week. Follow the Twitter and the Facebook page so you’ll know when that is.

– Guess who’s on Stitcher Smart radio now? That’s right, we are! So is the Hot Box, and like millions of other shows, so check it out. iPhone, Android, BB, whatever, it doesn’t EVEN MATTER! We’re there, and you should listen to us there, because it’s awesome.

– Riddle me this, how the fuck does a truck overheat when it’s like ten degrees outside?

– Danni went on a hunting trip and came back with the plague. She might be dead by the time we do the next episode. We’ll see.

– Have you ever seen the movie Puncture?  This movie made me sad because Dana might have aids. Are you ok? How much fun did you have getting your truck towed? That’s why you shouldn’t let the guy who’s recently lived in Florida, drive on the icey roads. Oh wait, it’s frostbite. Are you doing drugs, because I’m concerned.

– Let me tell you about getting raided by the Feds. If you wanna hear the whole story, listen to the Hot Box episode 97 and 97.5. It was quite the story. You should have left some pot and took the hash. How annoying. If you live in the UK, write in and tell me why you guys like hash so much.

– PENN STATE huh hehehehehe. Do you know what that even means? What a mess. Redefining what a true scandal should be. Danni could have been a juror on this case. If you are a college kid, this may have been your fault. You know better than that. Don’t lie, you kind of liked it didn’t you?

– Why would anyone ever adopt a child? A paycheck right? Well, this lady, Jennifer Barnes, has it all figured out. This is what I was talking about, it wasn’t in the band from the bar, it was the pilot guy. Anyways, that’s what that baby reminded me of. Watch Puncture and look at that picture and tell me I’m lying.

– Thanks Berger for sending this one in. Trading Bibles for porn. A tip of the hat from the Jamhole to the Atheist Agenda. If only the Gideons would have really thought this whole free bible thing through a little better. You’re responsible for getting free porn into the hands of kids. Nice work.

– Just because Berger looked at this, then sent it to me, and I looked at it, I’m going to share it with all of you, so you can look at it. I suffer because of my cock, and I’m a virgin. That’s all.

– What’s the best way to get that butt super booty bumpin? Go to a Pumping Party! Look, now you need to have actual surgery. Look at that ASS! That’s called cosmetic augmentation.

– How do you spell tire? TYRE.

– What is wrong with your face? What is that? I don’t know but I want to pick at them. Lucky Indonesian father of four. Would you rather have a big ass or a fucked up cock? That’s right, the Jamhole, asking the hard hitting questions.

A 74 year old Missouri woman was found attached to her chair. Like literally attached. I swear, she said she wanted to die, so I let her.

– I just wanted to get naked and climb inside this dead horse so I could take a picture. That’s all. Isn’t this America? We were just going to slaughter it and eat it. But she wanted to take a picture of herself inside it. So we figured, what the fuck.

What happened to these dolphins? You can’t feed dolphins molly dude. Not unless you wanna have a super sexy DOLPHIN PARTY!

– We’ll see you on the next episode. And on Sunday.