Tag Archives: ovary

Ep 261: Take It or Leave It


“The doctor told me I have a perfect abdomen.”

Another birthday in the record books, I sit here and wait for Danni to get back from the hospital. Thank you to everyone who took a few moments out of their busy schedules to wish me a happy birthday on the internet, and who wished her get well soon. I’m really at a loss of what to say right now, so I’ll just say this. Keep an eye out for low flying birds. Have you ever had a bird hit the side of your car while you were driving? I have, and it’s not a pretty sight. What really blew my mind is that I was smoking about five minutes before impact, and if I would have had my window rolled down, the bird would have smacked me right in the side of the head, probably knocking me the fuck out and causing a chain reaction of events that would have ended poorly for myself, as well as the bird. Sometimes I think they do that kind of shit on purpose. Kind of like a weird flea bitten, worm eating kamikaze pilot, homing in on its target. They know! The birds always know. Especially that one bird on the fruity loops box. He fucking knew, and so did his nose. I don’t trust birds.

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