Ep 556: Lockdown Newbies


“No you don’t, you live in this online fake reality.”

Sopa Bad internet good

This is how you change the damn world, one mind at a time. Please keep an eye on this and pay attention. Pay attention like your life depends on it. Now press play and follow along. This is a comedy show, but sometimes we need to be serious with you. This is one of those times. We discuss a lot of really important topics in this episode. Of course, most of those topics get made the fool, because let’s face it, if you can’t laugh at the sad kitten moments in life, how do you ever expect to survive? Evolve or die right? I mean really, if the fool made the topic, it seems only poetic.

We saw some history in the making this past week, and it was very inspiring. I hope this inspires a generation or two to get off their asses, turn the video games off, and start looking around at what you can do in life to make this world a little better. Because at the rate things are going, those who have had control of the planet for the last few decades, have, to put it bluntly, fucked some serious shit up. But think about it, what do they care? They are going to be dead within the next decade, so they don’t give a shit. It’s our problem. It’s your problem. It’s my problem. I really think if we can look at educating the younger generations and instill in them this deep seeded idea of urgent unity, we can eventually turn things around. No body said it would be easy, but it’s something that must be done. We must no longer allow greed and corruption the power to shape our government and bias decisions that affect all of us. This whole system is outdated and needs to be upgraded, or built once again from the ground up.

Hurray! We’re back on a set schedule for the Jamhole. Join us live on Jamhole TV every Wednesday and Sunday, 7pm PT. 10pm ET. You can also see if the show is live by hitting up any page on the site, and finding the right handside menu. When the show is live, it will say so, when we’re not live, it will also say. We’re here to serve you. Always remember that.

Danni has been picking up the pace working a second job. Or as I like to call it, gambling. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, it’s hard to reprimand your girlfriend about how gambling is not good when she’s bringing home money. Nice work baby.

Speaking of bringing home some money, you can help build up the great land of Jamholia one dollar at a time, one Stitcher Smart streaming radio app download at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day right? Neither was Jamholia. Go to thejamhole.com/getstitch and use the promo code JAMHOLE to get  the Stitcher app for your smart device, and get entered to win a $100 cash card. No matter how you slice it, you win!

I appreciate the people who live on the westside of Kalispell trying to live up to the ghetto ass reputation the westside has worked so hard to create. Just when the westside was starting to look a bit too clean and tidy, you go and throw some mattresses outside, and some nikes over the telephone wires. That’s much better.

Speaking of ghetto loving hood rats, do shows like Shameless glorify and make it seem cool to be a hood rat?

Everyone stop what your doing and look at me. Does any one single individual human ever deserve that much attention? Don’t kid yourself, of course not.

Let’s take a quick ( read long ), look at the Nat Geo show, Lockdown Newbies. We have used fairly these clips, so don’t try to say we are infringing on copyrights. The premise is, the prison in Wyoming can’t keep employees because the booming oil industry pays way more than what the prison system can pay. I don’t know about the rest of you, but that sure makes me feel safe at night. So this covers the newbies who just needed a job, to the scared straight gangsters who seem to think prison is where all their homie’s are. Thanks to the man keeping the urban jungle down, that might not be too far from the truth. These inmates are explosive. Be careful, as they can explode without warning, at any moment.

When people disrespect me, I toss them the fuck up! This ain’t no joke in here with the homies! Let me give you a taste of it now. Just a taste, just the tip. Catch that!

If you learn only one thing from our constructive breakdown of Lockdown Newbies, it needs to be this: You can never believe that an inmate is your friend. Well, she passes. Did they teach you that in criminal class? You don’t know, you don’t ever fucking know. Well, good luck with that. Now give me your cocktail, fruit, before I take it.

Have you ever had a dick thrown at your face? That’s what the Wyoming Prison System is like. Yeah, this goes on for the next 30 or 40 minutes. Make sure you don’t skip ahead though, you don’t want to miss the electrified number eight fish hook. Ah the joys of tasers. Listen as this dude gets tased bro!

Have you ever seen a woman with two vagina’s? The 2011 most helpful Jamholian sent us this story about Hazel Jones, the woman who has uterus didelphys, which basically means she’s packing the double barrel, over and under if you catch my drift. She’s received quite the offer from Vivid Entertainment for $1,000,000, yet she refuses. What a prude. I mean one film for a cool million. Porn porn porn porn.

Wednesday, January 18th goes down in historic infamy as the day the Internet finally stood up for itself, and said WTF?According to the Wikipedia entry for the Stop Online Privacy Act, about 7,000 sites replaced their home page with a page over 160,000,000 (160 million) people viewed explaining why SOPA and PIPA would not only be completely ineffective at putting an end to piracy, but would in the process, essentially break / censor the Internet.

Tech Crunch reports Twitter users posted more than 2.4 million tweets about SOPA ,  and Google says they collected over 7,000,000 (7 million) signatures voicing opposition to this ridiculous waste of time and money. Check out this list of Congresspersons who support or oppose SOPA / PIPA.

The day after these worldwide online and IRL protests, the Department of Justice and the F.B.I. shut down Megaupload.com. The day after that, it’s founder Kim Schmitz (dotcom) was picked up by New Zealand police under charges of criminal copyright infringement. Hasn’t anyone learned anything? You don’t fuck with the Internet. Especially the massive digital locker tons of people use when they need to share something to large for email. So of course Anonymous steps in to even the score a bit and within about an hour and a half, had shut down websites belonging to the Justice Department, the F.B.I., Universal Music Group, our two favorite industry association groups the Recording Industry Association of America, and the Motion Picture Association of America, Broadcast Music Inc., and many more. Kill one of ours, we kill ten of yours. Makes sense.

So basically, word on the street is the Internet wins, for now. The vote on SOPA / PIPA has been postponed. The next piece of creepy gross legislation we have to worry about is the Online Protection and Enforcement of Digital Trade act,  deceptively named the Open Act.

Sentenced to death because you programmed some code for a porn site. This is why even though America has it’s pros and cons, at least we can look at porn without worrying about getting put to death. Well, I’m glad we went there and cleaned up the place. Wow.

Make sure to check out all the other podcasts I produce and host. We just launched the site for our Android show, Attack of the Androids. AotA is on Thursday, Buffer Overflow Show is Tuesday, The Hot Box is Saturday, and the Jamhole on Wednesday and Sunday. Also keep an eye out for my new daily tech shows, coming soon! To listen to the back catalog of tech related shows, check out my groovyPost author page.

Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Jamhole! As usual, it’s been a slice. Email info@thejamhole.com and leave us a message at 406.204.4687 or text me at 406.848.1739. Make sure to join our forum discussions, follow us on Twitter and like the Facebook page! There are many ways  to connect with us, pick and choose what works best for you. See you Wednesday!

By Finn

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...

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