Ep 240: Morning Sickness


“If you guys need me, I’ll be in Bolivia.”

Have you ever been ripped out of a deep sleep only to find yourself kneeling before the toilet heaving your asshole out through your mouth? Well, not literally your asshole, but you know the feeling. When you find yourself in this effect, the cause is usually one of two. One, you are pregnant. Two, you had a serious night of drunk, raunchy unprotected sex, probably both vaginally and anally (that’s in the butt), in which case see choice one next week sometime. I think morning sickness is natures way of saying, “You better seriously think this through, because if you think heaving your asshole out your mouth is bad, just wait till you give birth.” I’m sure most of you genuinely thought about it and made the right decision based on many different factors, and for that we congratulate you. It’s the people who get knocked up randomly (choice 2), then only think about how fun it will be having a tiny person just like them to play dress up with. I guess the point of what I’m trying to say here is this. Puking first thing in the morning sucks no matter what the reason, but having a kid when you aren’t ready sucks even more. Even more than literally heaving your asshole out of your mouth. That’s one to grow on. Bro on, then get your grow on.

  • Happy 40th birthday Internet! It’s all down hill from here. Can you imagine life without Internet?
  • Some of locked and loaded was filmed here in montana. We didn’t really talk about it, but we kind of mentioned the show.
  • Breaking down on the way to see Marilyn Manson. Is that a sign? I cheered them up, don’t worry about it.
  • We just figured out the “Safest” way to protect oxys. Good job Walgreens.
  • Guess who just had another kid? Of course, everyone’s favorite mormon crazy family, the duggars! From the same vagina even.
  • This is what females should strive to evolve into. 2 tries, that’s it.
  • What would you do with a few million dollars? Blow it all on coke, clothes, and boob implants of course! I like to think we’re a little more responsible than that.
  • A correction from last episode, it happened in japan, not china. Our bad, thank you redfox.
  • The national debt is so big… Ok, this is where you ask me how big is it? It’s so big it needs it’s own calculator.
  • Weed for gas? Sounds like a great trade. Oh wait, you don’t take weed here? Well fuck, what do we do now? You should probably behave yourself when packing the drug trifecta of coke, weed, and oxys.
  • This guy is probably married to the biggest cunt in the world ever. You should have just killed her dude.
  • Are you stealing my electricity? Is that what this extension cord is for?
  • You can’t escape the fees.
  • Get yourself a super sweet 120 gig ipod loaded with jamhole stuff!
  • Don’t forget, we’re having a party September 25th to celebrate 250 episodes. All the info is at thejamhole.com/250.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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