Ep 408: Blowfish

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“I would never do that, I like my vagina way too much.”

What a fun show. When my mouth and stomach hurt from laughing so much, I know it’s been a good show. Anyways, I’m sitting here right now, waiting for Danni to get here. She says she has a surprise for me. I hate when she says that. I think we have differing opinions on what constitutes a surprise. For her a surprise is dressing up like a girl and putting on a little make up. For me, that just seems like something a girl would do from time to time. When I think of a surprise, I think of her getting here with a car load of hookers and like a pound of cocaine. Now that’s a surprise. Hell, I’d probably even settle for a pound of cocaine. Plus, if you’ve ever seen the hookers we have out here, you ‘d know the only surprise is whether its chlamydia or gonorrhea. Anyways, I think she’s here now, with my surprise…

  • If you want to follow Shaun around the nation on his vision quest, click the link.
  • Thank you for being so supportive in my rap career.
  • Kneeling keeps you in good standing with god… and any priest that might have interest in you. Way to keep it tasteful guys!
  • I am the greatest boyfriend you will ever have. It’s not my fault that sometimes you need to be taken down a peg or two.
  • Huge props to the people in the Flathead Valley making some gourmet weed edibles. That shit tastes so good, and gets me so lifted.
  • The word I was looking for is annoying, but you can’t tell your girlfriend she’s being annoying without getting something thrown at your face.
  • In order to become a real rapper, I have to produce at least one rap song about me per year. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
  • Let’s work out a quick hypothetical real quick. I have to know what kind of jealousy I’m dealing with here.
  • I’m only a girly man in your eyes because you are a tom boy. Your scale of what’s manly is all out of whack.
  • Danni has had mercury poisoning and she’s not autistic. She does have a pretty awesome looking stare though.
  • Girls should be in the kitchen cooking… at home. But at work, it’s supposed to be the guy. That’s kind of weird.
  • Yes, you have a nice rack, everyone knows that. You don’t have to rub it in everyone’s face. Just mine. You have to rub them all over my face. Thank you.
  • Doing awesome amazing shit does not constitute cutting off a hog’s nut sack. Why would you ever have to do that?
  • What’s your definition of a man? Cock n balls duh. Oh right, and probably the right chromosomes. I will hit you in the face with my dick, thus proving that I am a man. Have I mentioned that my dick is a registered lethal weapon?
  • These squirrels have huge dick and nuts. They also like to jerk off ALOT! If your scrotum was 20% of your body, you would jerk off all the time too.
  • Speaking of jerking off, let’s talk about jerking off. Then Danni teaches us about sperm.
  • Did you know there was such a thing as Mexican Pirates? Danni tells us all about finding cool stuff that washes up on shore. Yea, my girlfriend is a fucking crack head.
  • Shaun calls in to tell us about his trip and how his brother’s van got shot up and then purchased. That’s how you do business in Shelby Montana.
  • Poor children living in deplorable conditions, welcome to the American Dream! Well, say good bye to your children. Rest easy knowing it was your neighbor Doris that turned you in. Your house smells like horses and cows.
  • This is what happens when you let pornography and sexual fantasy control your life. When you turn 38, life really starts to get all pear shaped. You managed to collect ALL of the child porn on the internet. Someone call Chris Hanson, and Guinness.
  • This just goes to show you that not just any dumb hick can operate a GPS. Also, you should probably keep your GPS maps updated.
  • Jesus brings some more of his flock home… I’m just going to leave it at that.
  • Email info@thejamhole.com or leave us a message at 406.204.4687. If you enjoy the show, toss us a few bucks. Every little bit helps.

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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