Ep 445: Professional Help


“I’ve had dreams where I have a cock and I’m face fucking a chick against a wall.”

I have a question, why is it when alcohol is involved in a news story we read, they never have that in the headline, but more times than not when marijuana was found on the person, it’s always in the headlines? Is that just a weird way of being biased and helping spread the fear and lies about cannabis the government has worked so hard and spent so much money trying to solidify in our minds? I’m pretty sure it has something to do with that. I mean, you would never see a Fox news person do their own experiment documentary about trying pot for a few days, then coming to the conclusion that wow, it really didn’t make me all crazy and want to go shoot up stuff. Could you imagine if the mainstream media outlets actually reported the news in an unbiased manner? Would the government call treason on them and execute them for printing stories like they are trying to do with wiki leaks? Am I now red flagged for having the word Wiki Leaks on my site? Hell in a hand-basket is where this world is headed. It’s going to be a wild ride. Do you notice that as we’ve been doing this show, the news stories have gotten more over the top? The more time passes, the more crazy people are getting, the more crazy news stories we have to present to you. Hey 26, what’s the equation for that?

  • We have a Chad. He’s our new salt guy. It’s not his responsibility to be on the show every now and then. It’s a tough job. I figure it’s good to get him on the show now, that way when he kills himself, we’ll have some good recordings of him.
  • Yea, we live in a place that it’s small enough everyone just fucks everyone else. Every girl I date smells like someone I know.
  • You can catch these live shows every Monday Wednesday and Friday 7pm PT. 10pm ET. on Jamhole Tv as they are recorded on  for the podcast.
  • Let’s talk about how Chad found himself through the experimentation of drugs. I know how much you all love hearing about how we beat the odds of drug abuse to now live normal productive lives. It’s really a riches to rags to mediocre wages story of the maturing process. The inner struggle of ones life if you will.
  • Here’s some helpful advice from the Jamhole, if your parents suspect you of IV drug use, just tell them you’re on steroids so you can be a buff baseball player.
  • Hey Purdue, did you change your formula because you wanted to make it harder for addicts to get high? Or because your patent was running out? Just curious. By the way, your code has been cracked.
  • Guess who took a sick day today? My first one in quite sometime. I’m sorry, I was up all night puking my fucking brains out. No good.
  • Who’s ready for this season of Jersey Shore. Season 3 premiere, I’m not sure how you did it, but you found another Snooky. I can’t wait to see what South Park does with that. You do know people only watch to make fun of you right?
  • 26 came up with a scientifically sound hoarding equation. H= Amount of Hoarded Items, I= One hoarded item (H+2I). Thank you 26.
  • I hate when I have weird dreams like this. You should have fucking seen it. Her asshole completely swallowed my arm. So weird. Note to self, no fists in the ass.
  • Year to date stats from the Department of Homeland Security. Nice work guys. You should hook up with my health care professional and do a two birds one stone type of thing.
  • Check out these super cool undies for the on the go airport traveler. Also know if you use them, you will get the FULL pat down.
  • Hey guys, your strip club game is awful. You should follow Mika the Stripper. She’s quite amusing. Let’s talk about things you should never say to a stripper.
  • Drive through gobble gobble. Hey, can you super size this? Ha! It’s my penis! You are a 52 year old grown man. What are you doing?
  • Miss, why did you stab your husband? Because he drives me nuts. Just like a woman, stabbing a man in the back. Fucking back stabbing bitches.
  • Man stabs his girlfriend in the back. Probably because of all the times she stabbed him in the back… Metaphorically of course.
  • Thanks to Berger for sending in this story. She actually was hiding stolen goods in her body fat. Thank you America. She managed to fit $2,600 worth of merch in her fat. I feel bad for the guy that has to restock that shit.
  • If you want to help write the show, send in stories to info@thejamhole.com or post them in the Jamhole Forums.
  • We’ve done 2 live audience shows. Check out trailers for the 250 and 404 show. Download them for $5 and get a Jamhole show you’ve never seen, and help pay some show bills… At the same time!

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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