“Your kids are going to be stupid.”
It’s a new month, which means it’s damn near time for all this fucking snow to go away. Yeah, I love living here in Montana, but after a while you get kind of depressed. The sun is our god in that way, and when you go a while without seeing your god, you tend to get a little depressed. Just ask the Christians, they’re still waiting on their god to come back for the second time. I mean fuck, you never had a chance to see him the first time he was on earth. I hope you put on your Sunday best. I also heard that if you stare at the sun long enough, you eventually will see god. I heard that from some optimistic optometrist.
- Let’s welcome our Monday guy Robby back to the Jamhole. Robby, your looking good and ready to podcast. Danni looks like tired shit. It’s ok, you can’t feel great all the time. Plus, that cake was so fucking good, we kind of made ourselves sick eating so much of it.
- Maybe she’s pregnant… Let’s never bring that up again. Hey honey, why is there a dead pregnancy test in the trash?
- Did you see the video of the cat freaking the fuck out on some clothes? Yeah, our cat may have downs syndrome or something. The video is three minutes of amusing awesome though. Unlike most YouTube pages, the people who comment on our shit are helpful. Did you know that cats do that because it gets them off? That’s basically what the comment said.
- We do a little bit of everything on this show. Do you have a question about life or how to deal with someone in your life? Well fuck, email email@example.com and we’ll give you all the advice you can stomach. Be warned, we are very blunt, to the point, and brutally honest. Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know the answer to.
- Let’s discuss this quaint little study proving once again that prayer is bullshit. The only thing listening to your prayers is yourself. Funny how that works.
- How the fuck are you going to let a two year old get raped at Sea World? Talk about ruining a life experience. At least he saved the footage on his cell phone so you can all relive that wonderful experience over and over again.
- This is more proof that believing in silly ancient beliefs can do real world harm. You burned that motherfucker down didn’t you? Nice job voodoo sex ceremony! Nice job. Also, more proof that everyone should watch the movie Backdraft. If they would have seen that movie, they wouldn’t have made the mistake they made.
- Nice job Rhode Island, trying to one up Detroit. Detroit wants to close half of their schools, Rhode Island says fuck it, close them ALL.
- The bed bugs are really making some serious power moves. Grounding jumbo jets and shit. Sounds like a little bed bug terrorist cell or some shit.
- I love the irony in this story. You were a MADD chapter president, you aren’t allowed to get a DUI. Guess you should have taken your own advice. You could have killed someone’s child. Now that would have been irony. At least she would have a good support group.
- The book of the dead, if the book was a rhyme book. Have you ever heard of John Milton? Yea, me neither. Not until this story. See, you learn something new every day.
- Hey priests, how are your nun rape statistics doing? I can promise the number is more than nun! BA DA CHH! I suppose they are being honest about their nun rape at least. So that’s something right?
- Robby entertains us with a joke. That was terrible by the way.
- What do you know about Charlie Sheen? I know that I only know one other person on this planet that likes blow as much as Charlie Sheen. Robby recommends watching the CNN interview. We’re calling bullshit Charlie. I have a feeling so are you.
- Time for a little moral input. What do you guys think? Help our friend out on the forums. Bottom line, do what your heart says is right. Or you could ask god. Just make sure you hold your breath after you ask.
- Email firstname.lastname@example.org and leave us a message at 406.204.4687. Join the Facebook group and follow us on Twitter. Make sure to check out Danni’s new pic of the day photo blog. I have one too, it’s right here.