Ep 520: Safe Zone


“He spends more time in there than I do, and I lived there.”

One more episode down, and one more set of show notes get up to get down. Funny how that works. So here we are, cruising around the sun at about 67,000 miles per hour, sitting still. Just like anything else in life, it’s all relative. Relativity is a funny thing… To me. Anyways, time is ticking down until our third annual live audience show! We are very excited to once again show you the beautiful summer sights of the Flathead Valley. This year we are doing something quite different. Here are the dates you need to know. You can also find more information on the Jamhole Facebook page, and the Jamhole Forums.

1. Tuesday and Wednesday, August 9th and 10th – Rustic Cabin Camping

2. Thursday, August 11th – Glacier Park whitewater rafting

3. Friday, August 12th – Jamhole episode in studio. All are welcome!


Like I said, all the info is on the forums and the Jamhole Facebook page. If you are planning on joining us for this history making party time, we need to know to make sure you have a spot on the raft. Either email info@thejamhole.com or text me at 406.848.1739 if you have any questions. We encourage you to RSVP on the Facebook event page or the forums to make sure you get a seat on the raft. Enough of this bullshit, who’s ready for some fucking notes? Yea, you are.

– Let’s welcome Robby back to the Jamhole studio. It’s been a while since we’ve talked to him. You can see the last episode he was on during the 24 hour Jamhole marathon show. It took him a long ass time, but he finally got there. Check out episode 516.5 to hear his last episode.

– Like I said in the notes, August 8th – 13th is my week vacation, and the third annual Jamhole live audience party week. This will also be known as the 525 show. If you want to see our first live audience show ever that was at the Jamhole 250, and the second annual was the Jamhole 404. You can pick up the full videos for 5 bucks each. Watch the trailers for free on the page for each live show, or check out our YouTube page.

– I need to know by Friday if you are coming on the rafting trip so we know how many rafts we’ll need. We are able to pay the day of, so bring some cash.

– Congrats to Beer Bear for winning the Google Music invite. It’s too bad that he already got an invite from Berger. So instead, I just gave it to Robby. Fuck everyone else that emailed in. Robby deserves it. He brought us a mixer.

– I’m not exactly sure how our bathroom turned into Robby’s safe zone, but it did. He spends more time in there than we do. Can you break it down?

– Let me tell you what happened in our home while we were gone in Milwaukee. Hey, how did Danni’s panties smell? Was that good? You know, I’ll be more than happy to sell you a pair of well used panties, all you have to do is ask. Oh, and you know how I know you went through her pantie drawer? You broke the fucking drawer. Thank you. Considering you were supposed to be here fixing stuff, you should be fired. You didn’t really fix anything, you just maintained that creepy factor and broke our shitty plastic panty drawer. You did a terrible job fixing stuff.

– Robby, tell me something interesting. Don’t tell me about another stupid dead baby joke. Tell me about your daily meditations.

– As if people really give a flying fuck about your stupid gross parasite growing inside of you, now the power of the book gives you a quick and easy way to post status updates about your pregnancy. Remember, don’t count your chickens before they are hatched. Not all pregnancies end with a baby. Some of them end with a dead baby. Anyways, this shit completely runs rampant on the Facebook. At least now all you lonely knocked up women have a place to post status updates no one else gives a shit about. I mean if you think about it, it was only a matter of time. This is a pedophiles wet dream app.

God bless Texas with his own hands, because Texas sneezed and out popped a whole bunch of idiots who are making children more dumb due to their inability to realize that evolution via natural selection is FACT. Intelligent design is NOT.

– Yes, I did put my balls in her face earlier. Now what did we learn? TO THE DEF!

You totally misjudged that jump. Talk about a leap of faith right? You and the weird Texan polygamist. Anyways, if I was living with Skid Row, I would probably want to kill myself too.

– I swear to fucking Christ if you don’t shut the fuck up and get off your phone, I’m going to shove my Iphone down your fucking throat.

– Wow, America really is broke! This guy risked his life and health working at ground zero at the buildings formerly known as WTC. Yeah, he got cancer, and they sent him a FAT CHECK for $0.00. Nice. We may have found a bigger dick than myself, if that’s even possible. I should have been a fucking lawyer.

– You would think the cops would learn that you can’t get away with beating people anymore. Most everyone has a camera on their phones. Not to mention the cops actually beat a videographer. Wow guys. It’s not his fault his last name is crooks.

– Let’s all pour out a little liquor for Borders. Now where the fuck are the vampire bums supposed to go to sleep during the day? I guess out in the sunlight where their skin will be glittery and they will suffer the true death. So Danni read “My Life as a White Trash Zombie” by Diana Rowland, and by her recommendation and the fact that she read it in like 3 days, it was a pretty cool fucking read. My theory is that Danni actually has a lot more in common with the white trash junkie zombie than she’s willing to admit. I’ll let you decide which parts she has in common. Did you know we have a book list of recommended reading material? Yea, check out the books page!

– Cleveland Ohio, what the fuck? How the fuck are you going to have a shooting at a George Clinton and the P Funk-a-delics concert? You shot a 16 year old in the head and then you shot a few other people, what the fuck? That is un-fucking heard of. This is why we can’t have nice things. You do realize that was a Family Unity festival right? Humans are so fucking retarded sometimes.

– Duck-Tales WOO HOO! Oh right, and they found 4.5 tons of cocaine in a submarine. A yellow submarine? Shut the fuck up, I’m not a fan of the Beatles.

– Robby takes us out with what might possibly be the worst dead baby joke ever. It’s more like a dead baby / pedophilia joke. And I don’t know if you know this or not, but pedophilia is no laughing matter, unless it’s a baby clown…

– Please share and share a like on the Jamhole Facebook page. It’s really easy to help us spread the word. Also remember we have our own forums shared with the Hot Box. So if you like the shows, come participate in our discussions. Interaction is key, and highly encouraged.

– Leave a message for the show at 406.204.4687 or call us live! Also remember next week is the third annual Jamhole live audience show at Annas! We are very stoked for this. Come rustic cabin camping, whitewater rafting, and then top it all off with the third annual live audience show, aka the Jamhole 525. You know where the details are, and if you have any questions, text me at 406.848.1739. I’m happy to help.

– We are skipping the Wednesday episode to make flyers and get everything in order for the party. The next episode will be Friday. Peace out bitches!

About Mat Lee

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...
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