“I look down at my dick and my dick looks up at me and I just start laughing, uncontrollably.”
I hate when it’s really quiet in the room, and I’m staring at my computer, and all of the sudden I can hear the cat licking itself. I look at the cat in disgust and I’m like, “Hey cat, can you do that somewhere else?” The cat looks at me, for what feels like one long drawn out awkward moment, winks at me, then goes right back to licking itself. I’m like “Seriously cat wtf? Do you really feel it necessary to lick yourself while sitting next to me?” Fucking cats. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather have a cat than a dog, but in all honesty, this cat is really starting to piss me off. I’ll be sitting there jerking off, and the fucking cat comes out of nowhere and tries to pounce on my shit and I’m all like “WTF cat!?!?! I’m just trying to jerk off, leave me the fuck alone.” Fucking cats. I think instead of giving the 120 gig ipod away, I’ll put the cat in a box and send that to the winner. That’s well worth five bucks an entry. I’m just kidding, I would never do that. I would however, add the cat to the 120 gig ipod as an extra free super awesome bonus. That’s a fantastic idea. Anyway, I wonder what it would feel like to take a bath on the couch. That’s all the cat is really doing. Just sitting here not giving a fuck about anything, licking the holy fuck out of myself, on your couch. I don’t pay rent, I don’t even pitch in for food. I don’t even clean my own shit out of my own fucking litter box! Do you know why? Because I’m a motherfucking cat, bitch!
- This is the most painful show so far in the history of The Jamhole for me to listen back to. This shit gives me the chills, and not in a good way.
- 9.9.9 OMG WTF?!?!?! Did you know that date is 6.6.6 upside down? Did you know that absolutely shit happened on that day? I hate people. Oh right, and it’s also overdraft Wednesday. Numbers are awesome!
- Happy birthday Lauren Hennessy.
- Getting something jammed in your peehole, not as fun as you might think. I have a whole new respect for the dick hole guy.
- I’m really not looking forward to dick surgery.
- This is why we don’t pack heat down the front of our pants you fucking retard.
- Danni thinks she fixed her gambling problem. Now I have to step up and be the pimp. Where’s my money bitch?
- Congratulations on your new kittens joe coccozello.
- I’m sad that adam and eve have infected another podcast. I really hope it’s worth it.
- The next episode in sex scandal power hour, let’s all hear it for Assemblyman Mike Duvall.
- Hey, who’s that on the cam? Oh that’s my ex, he’s just hanging around. He’s dead.
- Is it time to sacrifice the 14 month old with a baseball bat yet?
- Did you know Danni’s best friend in Florida is a squirter? I didn’t either until last night.
- The worse Pack Rape in the history of rape. That is fucking epic. Pack rape is no joking matter.
- Bad contractions. Probably the best joke you will ever hear in your life.
- When I die, bury me in my podcast studio, on my bed, with all the equipment. I also want my book shelf within reach, just in case. I’m also going to need someone to drop by once a week and upload the recordings. Someone else will also have to be there to press play and record, and stop.
- Leave voicemails for danni please. 406.204.4687 or skype thejamhole.