Ep 273: Walka Walka 4000

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“Our future is in such jeopardy it’s not even funny.”

So I’m doing my route today just like I would any other normal Thursday, and I drive by this karate dojo of sorts. Now, I say karate as a generic term for whatever kind of special martial arts they teach. I’m not exactly sure what they had going on in there today, but if I had to guess from the looks of it, I would say that today was “Cuddle up with your bro” day. So the first time I drive by, I glance in their windows and I see a row of bro’s, some kneeling, some sitting cross legged on the floor, and in back of each bro was another bro who had his arms around the bro that was sitting. Weird I thought to myself. So I continue on with my route, and I end up driving back by the dojo about an hour later. What the fuck, I think to myself. The same thing is happening. A row of bro’s on the floor, backed up by another row of bro’s with their arms around them. What the fuck are they teaching in here? I understand the whole “Being macho” thing, but holy fuck dudes, there is nothing bad ass or macho about sitting down on the floor with a dude in back of you with his arms around your neck / shoulder area. Maybe it was celebrate a gay day or something silly like that. I never understood the allure of going to places like this. Usually the leader is some washed up ex karate kid type with way too much testosterone pumping from his over inflated balls to his under used brain, running around telling the kids to punch him in the balls. Oh well. What really surprises me is that in these oh so tough economic times, people still waste money on this shit. It’s not like we live in the dark ages where your very survival depends on your ability to fight, or to wrestle a dude to the ground. I’ve managed to go my whole life without so much as a punch in the face. Ok, I take that back, I got punched in the face once. But seriously, what the fuck are they teaching you in those places that justifies the amount of money your going to spend? I say, give me a hundred bucks, and I’ll sit you down in front of some jet li movies for a few hours. Just mimic what he does and you’ll be fine. Because seriously, unless your a drunk ass piece of shit, you’re never going to end up in a situation where you need to know how to get away from a gay dude trying to give you a back massage. My daddy always taught me never to fight unless you’re willing to kill the person. Because if you fight them, it will never end, and you will always have to watch your back waiting for the day that person comes back looking for revenge. If you get in a fight, kill the person, then it’s finished. If you aren’t willing to kill the person, it’s probably in your best interest to just laugh it off and walk away. Unless of course your looking for a gay back massage. And another thing, enough with the mixed martial arts already. I get it, you can kick ass. Congratulations. Where in today’s modern society is that ever going to come in handy, other than kicking ass and getting ass kicked in a ring for the entertainment of a bunch of fags who think they are tough because they wear “Tapout” shirts. You guys are stupid, and if you don’t like it, come say something to me. I’ll fucking kill you.

  • Happy 25th birthday AKJeremy from the forums. Blaze one for the nation!
  • Nursing home sex. You’re goddamn right it happens… Thanks for the joke sales guy!
  • Real life window lickers. Our future is getting more dim by the second. Go team!
  • The long sad story of how danni got fired. So if you have any spare change, help us out. You can donate here or buy something from the store here. Thanks, you guys keep us going.
  • This is how to get all your bank fees refunded. Shhh…
  • If you are an employer, you should really treat your employees nicer, we are the ones who make your business successful. Unless of course you have scumbag employees, then fuck them.
  • You can take my resignation and shove it up your butthole cum-padre!
  • Better go strap on your grovel shoes if you want your old job back.
  • If you would learn to suck dick more, you wouldn’t be unemployed right now.
  • Also, if you would learn to spell, you might not be unemployed right now. Good luck at walmart!
  • Suck dick or wash dishes.
  • Donate to us, fuck those other podcasts. They are just fine. We’re broke!
  • Killing your wife because you were dreaming she was an intruder. Best defense ever!
  • Don’t rape where you live, just more helpful advice from the jamhole. Everyone has a little Capn’ in em!
  • An update on the surgery video. Thanks Mcnally, we can’t wait to see it!
  • Don’t send your children to daycare with crack cocaine. Unless they have enough for everyone.
  • Put your truck in park when your are trying to hot wire your shit. Unless you’re 75. Thanks Florida!
  • Like I said earlier, please donate, or go to the jamhole store and buy something. Help us get through until danni gets a job. You can also send danni smokes to the jamhole PO box.
  • Go check out Project 4987. It’s a group podcast we of the PGB are doing. Maybe the second test run ep will be available soon… Maybe not.
  • Alana

    GREAT news segment guys! It was exactly why I love the jamhole so much. AND HOLY SHIT!!! —>Project 4987 sounds so fucking cool! I can’t wait to check it out. It’s a podcastgangbang wet dream.

  • mat

    Shit yea, we should have the test run up in a couple days… Hopefully.