Ep 368: Pump and Dump

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“I love you both equally.”

Ok, so that was a terrible idea, and I swear the next person that texts me saying that Dana is crazy and wants to kill the other girl, my head is going to explode. Thank you, I know, and I’m sorry. Live and learn right? That’s what they keep saying, but I don’t buy it. I’m broke. No joke. Hope? Nope. Dope just to cope, looking for answers at the wrong end of the rope, and that you can quote, it’s broken laying in the snow half open, spilling all over the ground like a cold wind. So just hold spin and lay down with some old sin, hot and molten but not on your cold skin. Golden, set it down out in the open and hope no one trips over your ground up soul. Are you the pope then? Fuck it, I’ll play the broke bread like a slow death, shaking underneath the table like a coke head. Epic in the way she’s soft spoken, it comes in waves that toss my omen to the day to the hour, to the minute to the year, and every time she leaves I have to break another mirror. To fear bad luck is a dead man’s game, when you dress like some shriveled up abandoned rape. The sad win games with abstract names then wonder why they can’t return a simple back handed save. I crave my Miss behave on a misty day. She cries slits of rain in between little crisp fits of pain. She’s insane and I’m numb to her games, I’ve suffered enough to be one of her slaves. For one hundred days, until my hunch gets paid for thinking aloud about the chumps with faith.

  • Welcome Ryan and Meg into this super mess we’re calling Jamhole episodes. Thanks for playing.
  • Yea, this is probably never going to happen, and I’m an idiot for even thinking it could. Can you see the libido in here?
  • When you say skank, do you mean she loves to fuck?
  • I hope one day we all look back at this and have a good laugh.
  • Please allow me to let Ryan introduce you to the pump and dump. My life is now complete. Thank you Ryan.
  • So what do you want to do? I have no fucking clue, what would you like to do? I don’t know, what do you want to do? I’m starting to see a pattern here.
  • If only we had a line full of people waiting to fuck us.
  • I love you, you love me, but we probably shouldn’t be together anymore. Ok, so what do you want to do? I don’t know…
  • Can we make one thing clear here? She left me.
  • Is Ryan the only person that wants to know if “not fucking” affects the show? That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
  • Tell us about your fishing date. I would have fucked on a boat.
  • I have no pride. I’m not going backwards in a relationship, that’s all.
  • She’s not a groupie slut, as far as I know.
  • Is anything else annoying? If you provoke me, I will say super mean shit.
  • Ryan, please school us on some psychology. Old school primal psychology. Ryan loves Meg for the record. Now tell me how you met.
  • That’s ok honey, I don’t need my dick sucked… Ever. How long did those relationships last?
  • I love all chicks… Ok, well not all, but most of them.
  • Ask me why I’m never going to get married. Because Tiger Wood’s divorce is going to cost him $750,000,000. That’s why.
  • Ryan gets kind of deep when he’s drunk. But he’s spot on. Don’t feel obligated to love me.
  • You’re putting yourself at risk by fucking sluts. So are there any girls who are not sluts that would like to have sex?
  • I am a visual creature, and that is what keeps me alive. I wish this was the matrix.
  • Who’s ready for some confessions? Aww shit yea son.
  • You are looking at porn in the worse possible place. The McDonald’s play land right? Of course. Where did all the kids go?
  • When normal explosives just aren’t big enough. How the fuck did your sparkler bomb go off on it’s own? That’s a fucking miracle.
  • If your friend says only eat half the brownie, you should probably listen to them. Holy fucking shit… Peep the latest Hot Box episode. It’s our weed podcast hosted by Sandy and myself.
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