Ep 391: Rape the Population

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“So you went out with your cock out, and now you have bumps?”

According to this CNN online article, the DEA is looking to hire Ebonics translators. Just let that soak in for a moment. Ebonics, if you aren’t familiar, is the “language” African American’s tend to speak when among their own kind. Mostly this can be attributed to a decline in the ghetto education system, and rap music. Some people call it African American English, which is pretty awesome in and of itself. What a fucking joke. So the DEA apparently needs nine people to translate conversations picked up via wire tap during their investigations. You would think the DEA would just sit their agents down for a couple of hours each week and give them a complete tour of rap starting at NWA, going all the way up to the more modern versions. Shit, a now dead Brooklyn rapper by the name of Big L even wrote a song called Ebonics. Just listen to that shit and figure it out. You’re the fucking DEA for fucks sake. They probably got sick and tired of always having to ask the young agent who listens to hip hop about what the fuck these people are talking about. The funny thing is, they are probably going to have a bunch of early thirty year old white kids submitting resumes thinking they are perfect for the job because they listen to rap music and probably have a black friend or something. This goes on to their next point, that another problem they are having is that Ebonics is no longer just a black language, it’s now what is considered an urban language. Mostly because of all these punk ass wanna be white rappers out there who forget that at the end of the day when they look in the mirror, it’s just another scared white kid staring back at them. Professor John Baugh describes Ebonics as, “linguistic defiance being reinforced by hip-hop.” That right there is pretty awesome. To finish up here, in case you didn’t know, the term Ebonics is a blend of ebony and phonics. I love our language.

  • Shaun explains what the fuck that thing is growing on him. Don’t worry, he’s just ugly. Apparently they have pills for that.
  • If you get an email that says the attachment is pictures of your wife, you probably shouldn’t click on it. I’m sure it’s too late for a lot of people, but our listeners are smarter than that.
  • Why the fuck is there a bee hive in my drivers side mirror? Fuck I hate bees.
  • Can we PLEASE stop having kids for the next ten years. You are contributing to the planet completely exploding. If only we had a good use for people.
  • Danni never got pregnant because of skill, not luck. Yea right, that’s bullshit, she’s just lucky. She’s a classy lady.
  • Did you steal that bike? I’m pretty sure you stole that bike.
  • If you wear a flat brimmed hat, you are a D-BAG! I blame hip hop.
  • Getting a pedicure seems like a very demeaning thing to make someone else do. Like having a black guy shine your shoes on the bus.
  • Stan Lee’s Superhumans is a pretty cool show on the History channel. These people are pretty bad ass.
  • Listen carefully to Danni’s accent. It’s so fucking funny. I honestly think she’s getting a complex about it. Danni tells us about Swamp People. It’s a hidda hadda herdda show about hunting gators.
  • I’m fixin to cum!
  • We’re having a party! Check out the 404 page for information on our second annual Jamhole live show. This is going down Saturday, September 25th 2010. If you come up a few days early you can come to the Jamhole camping trip. It’s going to be epic. Check the Facebook group for more info. Shaun is putting the camping trip together.
  • Why Americans should never be allowed to travel. I really should have read these over before we did this. This was horrible, and I apologize for that.
  • Let’s play the interrupt Mat game while he reads this first news story. It’s another one about huffing stuff. Her real name is Amanda Branda. I couldn’t make this shit up.
  • This is not a good time to be female in the Congo. That’s right, more rape on a Saturday night.
  • What do you do with pussy you are all done with? You toss that shit in the trash. What a cunt.
  • We kind of do the rest of the stories lightning round style. Guy quits because a pet pig got eaten, miners in Chile are trapped and probably going to die down there, most severe child abuse case ever, woman escapes explosion probably set up by her estranged husband, hitting an old woman over the head with a big glass thing, then finishing the job while trying to save her life by improperly using CPR. Nice.
  • Help keep the show going, donate some cash or buy some Jamhole Church stickers. Leave a message at 406.204.4687 or text me at 406.848.1739. Email info@thejamhole.com if you wanna say hi. Send your post cards in to thejamhole.com/pobox.
  • Join the Facebook group and follow us on Twitter. Make sure you RSVP for the 404 show and the camping trip. It’s going to be epic.