“Please bless this dildo that I am about to wreck this bitch’s anus with.”
It’s Valentine’s day, lucky for everyone who’s in the greeting card, chocolate, and the “little cute stuffed animals holding onto hearts” industry. Not so much for everyone who’s single. Having lived through V days on both sides of the relationship fence, I can sympathize with both. I feel just like I felt last year when I probably wrote something similar. But again I’ll say it for those new listeners. If you need a holiday to tell you to love the person you are in a relationship with, then I’m guessing you should take a real deep look at said relationship. Anyways, I don’t want to spend too many words writing about this, so I’ll leave it at that. We may not do a show tonight since this holiday is telling me I’m supposed to spend time with my lover. Honestly, it’s been non stop for a bit, so it would be nice to have a day off that Danni and I can just sit here and relax without having to worry about doing a show and all that. We don’t like to make it a habit to miss shows, but with both of us working, then doing our extra cirriular shit, sometimes we have to take a minute to stop and be like DAMN, we need some good quality alone time. Tonight is a good a night as any. Plus, there is so much free content between the Jamhole and the Hot Box, the YouTube page, the Forums, the show notes, and the rap music. I want you all to make it a point to go to the site and do some exploring. Then call our voice mail line and leave us a message about how your Valentine’s Day went, and we’ll play them for everyone on the Wednesday episode. I guarantee there is something out there that we have done you haven’t seen yet. So I’ll make a Twitter post when I post about these notes being ready for you to read, and I’ll mention it in the Jamhole Forums. We’ll see you for Wednesday! Happy sex and candy day!
- Ending the week with the Friday episode. Watch us live on Jamhole TV so you can see Danni pick at her eyeball. It’s really quite something to see. Especially once you realize when the last time she washed her hands was. Apparently she is building a pretty sweet immune system. Oh and don’t call me fat.
- She wrote me a love poem. Now who’s ovary is showing?
- We would like to pour out a little liquor to Eddie’s $2,000. Some people shouldn’t gamble.
- Thank you for signing me up for Mack days. I will forever more get mail from that fucking place. I like how most of the mail that comes here is either for Danni, Shaun, or it’s junk. If only you can put filters on real mail.
- Speaking of my mail, let’s read some of it. Would you like to get in quick on this hot money making survey action? Act now! If you don’t have a computer, no worries. We’ll fucking send you one!
- I propose an experiment. Let’s take a small sub section of the nation that doesn’t have computers, and give them computers. Then we’ll track absolutely everything they do. Curious and curiouser.
- We have some new rules the Los Angeles adult sex film industry might have to abide by soon. People hate fucking with condoms on, you think we really want to see condoms on our porn stars? Fuck no. It should be the industries job to make sure wicked bad STD outbreaks don’t happen.
- So speaking of porn stars, Danni wrote me a love poem. If you fast forward like ten minutes, you might actually get to hear this masterpiece.
- I love her for her, and that’s what makes it work.
- It’s only fair that she mocks my rhymes. I wasn’t really mocking hers, I was just having some fun. I’m sorry honey, it was beautiful.
- Have you ever had barbaric sex? Let’s discuss just exactly what that entails. The ingredients? A schizophrenic 40 year old man trying to get him some make up sex.
- She beheaded piglet because you couldn’t handle her Adderall trip. Is Adderall that crazy? We’ll have to get some and do an experiment. Oh bother.
- So apparently the punishment for jumping the turnstile is getting a nasty dick awkwardly rubbed on your bare feet. They really should screen these security guards better.
- Let’s put on our big boy pants and our sit still shoes and get this fucking show finished.
- This is what happens when the trees fight back. You got a chainsaw stuck in your neck because you were hurting that tree. Honestly, that’s kind of what you get. Remember Fern Gully? Yea. Me either.
- So your three year old got a hold of some alcohol and now she’s dead? Interesting, if that would have been marijuana, she would still be alive right now.
- Look how amazing our technology is. In Texas, we just figured out you are all a bunch of inbred retards. Nice! I’m just kidding, not everyone in Texas is a retard, only the ones that fuck their cousins. Let’s make it a point to go out of our way to NOT fuck our cousins this week.
- Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a message at 406.204.4687. Make sure you are a member of the Forums, the Facebook group, or the Twitter.
- If you enjoy the show, help us pay some show bills. Shit is expensive and I’m broke. Go to the Jamhole music page to get some free hip hop we made!
If you want to see an archive video of episode 459, it’s right here.