TJH 612: In Vitro Meat

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“This is definitely not a cold dude, it’s totally different.”

We’re back after some bologna sandwiches and a trip to Las Vegas for Defcon, with episode 612 of the Jamhole. What a trip it’s been. Happy to get back on track with the weekly funny goodness. Make sure to donate to the show and help get the bank accounts back above the negative, and subscribe in iTunes. I also hang out on the Jamhole Google+ community throughout the week. Feel free to post some stories for the show, or just come by and say hi. Also check out our tech shows. I host Attack of the Androids on Tuesday and Yet Another Tech Show on Wednesday.

We went to Defcon and had quite the interesting trip. Check out the pictures here on Google+. A huge thanks to MDS for taking care of the amenities and getting us into Defcon. It’s such a cool experience, if you have even the least bit of nerd in you, I highly recommend it.

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard from Puffer. Did you hear the Obama surveillance talk? There’s an article here on the Verge and here on Politico if you want to get more informed.

Pretty typical Puffer shit going on here. Drinking excessively at a party then getting home at a responsible hour to get to work the next day on time. Actually, this is a pretty ridiculous story. Why would you just jump off a motorcycle doing about 45?

Are you familiar with Shark Week? What the fuck Discovery Channel? You have completely ruined Shark Week for me, and the rest of the internet. Thank you. In response, the good people of New York have started killing sharks and putting their bodies on the Subway. I figure they must be sending them to the D channel.

What do you know about Carlos Danger? I know that’s the worst cheating name you could ever come up with. Ever. The Washington Post has an article saying Carlos Danger was all a joke. Yes, it certainly was. Check out this smirk!

How long would it take you to write a Sextastic Tuesday porn? I think we’re going to write one for Tim. Also, Puffer wants to get Tim Henson back on the show. Can we make that happen?

What do you know about the Ghost Rapes of Bolivia? Basically these fine ladies were getting raped in their sleep. By demons. That’s right, raped in your sleep by demons. Except that other villagers were dosing them with homemade cow anesthetic and raping them. I guess everyone has demons.

How long could you tolerate getting tased bro? This guy handled it for nine months. Sounds like he was waiting to have a baby or some shit. Seriously though, don’t taze me bro.

So, after about $300,000 we’ve finally been able to grow some meat in the lab. It’s actually just muscle fibers, around 20,000 of them. It’s also missing the pig fat, according to Puffer. Didn’t the government already try this? I think they ended up making people eat people or something.

The best way to meet a dog? Stick your tongue out and try to lick the dog’s face. This is what will probably happen, regardless of the kind of dog it is.

Maine is putting its foot into the ring to give us a run for most redneck state. This dude totally sent his four year old to daycare with a loaded .380. I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Right? Accidents happen. So that’s where my pistol went, totally forgot I put it in the diaper bag.

If you are a gay french couple living near Paris, and you need someone to come breast feed your babies, this lady has you covered… In breast milk. Nice.

What’s the best way to put yourself through law school? Turnin tricks duh! This lady was totally getting hers, because she was trading sex for paper and ink and shit. I don’t really see the difference between this and most normal relationships.

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As always, thank you so much for listening and spreading the word. Take a minute out of your day to write us a review on iTunes, and interact with us during the week on your favorite social network. Join the Jamhole Google+ Community and submit stories for the show! You can also leave us a message at 406.204.4687.