TJH 613: The Chubby Checker

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“Is Breakin Bad a trigger for your potential relapse?”

Hello and welcome to episode 613 of the Jamhole. Another Friday has come and gone as we hold on tight careening through space on our little blue ball of rock at over 66,000 miles per hour. Dizzying if you think about it. Not to mention the rotation of the planet at the equator clocked at around 1,000 miles per hour. Everything is moving, always. All we can do as little specks of dust in the galaxy is hold on tight, and make the most fun out of our short time here. This is why we like to go camping in the summer. Here’s a link to the Google+ album of all our Ashley Lake camping pictures so far. If you are bored and like looking at pictures, there’s over 8,000 pictures in there, most of which are completely public for you to check out at your leisure.

Of course you didn’t come here for a science lesson on celestial mechanics or a walk down the dark back alley that is my memory lane picture gallery, so I’ll get on with the show notes. Honestly, from the looks of our site analytics, most of you came here because you were googling “How to fuck a cow.” Lol, I love you internet. Here’s the notes.

Watching the live shows are much better than listening to the podcast. Why? Because you get to see us stupid. So make sure you leave this Friday open on your calendar to come join us for the live show. Wondering when the show goes live? Make sure to follow the Jamhole on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Let’s start things off with a quick shout out to the local Mcdonalds. Even with all your idiocracy-esque picture push button ordering systems, your employees still can’t seem to get my order right more times than not.

Ready for this week’s installment of Distracted Drivers? We have quite a doozy for you this time. Please direct your attention to either my Twitpic page, or my Google+ post.

Puffer has a run in with the cops, while speeding, and possibly allegedly drinking. I have no idea how he gets himself out of these sticky situations. You should all pay attention to the game this kid spits. It might very well save your life one day.

Have you heard Mc Lars and his Generic Crunk Rap? Also, Breaking Bad has started up again. I’m in! You can follow all the tv shows I’m watching on my Trakt.tv account. If you use Android, the Series Guide app is the one I’m using to interface with Trakt.tv. It’s a great second screen viewing experience, especially if you are a torrent cord cutter.

Instead of handing out tickets and prison sentences, cops in Seattle will be handing out Doritos at Hempfest. Talk about the over commercialization of a once great culture.

This is why you should go to a human doctor when you have human problems, and a vet for your animal problems. I’m pretty sure you can’t sue the vet because you lost your toes. Unless of course he tricked you. This is also why you shouldn’t trust your neighbor to treat your messed up gross foot. MURRRICAAA!

Do you remember Chubby Checker? Have you ever had to use a chubby checker? You know, just to make sure you don’t get home in bed with a chubby that isn’t quite going to cut it? Yeah, me either, but whoever patents the chubby checker and sells it in bars is going to make so much fucking money. Let me refresh your memory a little. Anyway, HP is getting sued because HP used his trademarked name in an app that measures your dick size. Nice HP, nice.

Because having a child is such a fucking miracle of life, some people are so happy to be new parents they get so excited they kill themselves. This guy right here is one particular example of that. Have you ever been so excited you killed yourself?

If you were a surgeon, and you found some heroin inside a patient’s stomach, what would you do? This guy straight up stole it. Is it stealing in this situation? It’s really not considered stealing if you are unconscious and your guts are all over the table, right? That could give the doctor up to 15 years in prison. Gross happy Russian prison.

The best way to commit suicide. Ever. Martin Manley kills himself and leaves behind some sort of a treasure map for his friends and family to remember him by. The website is still down, you should have went with a more reliable host Martin.

This is why you shouldn’t surf any kind of porn while you are at work. Especially if the porn is child related, and the work is being a cop. I guess the bar isn’t all that high to be a cop in Tennessee.

Are we sharing too much online? CNN also asks this question, so we might as well talk about. People are pretty much on Facebook all day long. You think you are tricky, but you’re really just a bunch of chatty Cathys.

I also make hip hop in my spare time. Make sure to get your copy of The Blame EP and Escape Goats. Find them free here on the music page, or on SoundCloud. But if you want to actually pay for the music, you can donate some cash via Paypal or check them out on Google Play. They are also available to Google Play Music All Access subscribers.

Thank you so much for listening. Please take a minute to write us a review on iTunes, and interact with us during the week on your favorite social network. Join the Jamhole Google+ Community and submit stories for the show! You can also leave us a message at 406.204.4687.