Ep 215: Forsaken

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“That’s right, they might screw us.”

All I really have to say is fuck religion. Ok, I lied, fuck religion and fuck lazy motherfucks at work that are making more money than me, but doing half the fucking work I am doing. It’s never been about money for me, as long as I have enough to survive, and keep this show going, and buy weed every now and again, I’m happy. What pisses me off is the fact that they can get away with it just because of the sheer luck of the family they were born into. If they would have been born into any other family, they would probably still be in jail or sucking dick for meth on the cold streets of kalispell or something. But I digress, this isn’t about him, it’s not even about meth. It’s about us, and this podcast we call the jamhole. I have been thinking it’s almost time to change the banner, and all the descriptions on all the sites, but I feel bad taking Brayden’s name off of things. Maybe I’ll wait until we have done just as many episodes without him as I did with him, that way it evens itself out or something. Plus, do you have any idea how many different websites we have a profile or account on? Well, I don’t either, but from the looks of the side menu, its a shit load. Ok, I have to watch some more True Blood and probably have some more sex with my fleshlight before Danni gets home. (Thanks mike from erototoys.com!)

  • Our live listeners thought it was fun to play a game with us for the first ten minutes or so. Enjoy that!
  • Danni still owes Mat lots of blow jobs, espeically after the two hour trip to the Verizon store. Don’t smoke pot if you can’t handle your job please.
  • Danni has better ticket times at her job than the Kalispell Verizon store did. Get your fucking shit together Verizon!
  • It’s called the Verizon “Date Rape” and that’s all you need to know you stupid fucking annoying whore beast. Now shut your whore mouth, unless there is a penis about to go into it, because that is all your stupid whore mouth is good for.
  • Old people suck at bluetooth, but in other news, it’s about time someone screwed them.
  • Danni’s uncle has really awesome credit. Go team bad credit! Danni has a really awesome “I’m gonna rip your tits off” look.
  • Kids will be kids. If you insist on bringing your disgusting children into public, beat them more so they are afraid to do anything but sit there and keeping the fuck quiet.
  • Mat can’t handle seeing adults cry. Danni can because she has no soul. We poured out some more liquor at the memorial service for Yukon, the german german shepard Mat’s mom and stepdad lost the other day.
  • Hey Iphone 3GS owners, I hope you have fire insurance. Mat’s phone is the best smartphone ever made ever.
  • Josh from bigmouths podcast calls in and tries to make himself feel better for having a piece of shit sighphone. Anything you can do, I can do better on my super sexy awesome XV6900 aka the Vogue. NERD FIGHT!!!
  • Everytime Mat tries to explain to Danni how awful gambling is, she wins and buys cool stuff for the house. We now have groceries!
  • Danni makes a half ass apology to Mat for accusing him of having a dirty penis. I told you so! My shit is so fresh and so clean, condoms are for fags, because that’s where the aids is.
  • Holly calls in to talk about how she got molested by her pelvic examine doctor. That shit is not cool, doctors are scumbags just like the rest of humanity.
  • Danni is probably dying of ovarian cancer. Mat makes numerous funny jokes about it.
  • Too little too late… Why would you show up naked to a dentist office? Because it’s his birthday duh!
  • God damn towel heads, always trying to steal miniscule amounts of money.
  • Drunk driving with retards, you know I love it.
  • No one ended up emailing me a show quote or title, so you can all go fuck yourselves.
  • Black magic is making a huge comeback. I’m a +8 enchanted black magic high priest of doom. Phear Me!
  • Prepare for a shitload of geeky final fantasy / world of warcraft jokes.
  • You can’t prevent cysts on your ovarys, it just happens.
  • Let’s talk about having sex with the fleshlight again. This time it was because Danni was a tired lazy bitch.
  • Killing your four children because your husband smokes pot and is a raging drunk. Kids are so fucking annoying.
  • Listen closely as Mat mindfucks Danni. It’s good stuff. We try to do some F my life, but as you can hear, that didn’t work out very well. Queue the geeky final fantasy / wow jokes. HOLLA!
  • mds

    I don’t have time to feed you show quotes in the precise method you dictate, sorry, but the quote was from Danni: “You can’t outrun my penis”. Your cohost is a riot, even if she needs Ghostbuster education. Holla.